Mr Tatoo, the Poet, and Mrs Tatoo, are always omitted in the reprefentation. § The Taylor is alfo omitted very often. SCENE, A Grove. With a View of the river Lethe.. PRITE CHARON and Esor difcovered. CHARON. RITHEE, philofopher, what grand affair is tranf acting upon earth? There is fomething of impor tance going forward, I am fure; for Mercury flew over the Styx this morning, without paying me the ufual compliments. Ef I'll tell thee, Charon: This is the anniversary of the rape of Proferpine; on which day, for the future, T 3 Plute Pluto has permitted her to demand from him fomething for the benefit of mankind. Char. I understand you-his majefty's paffion, by a long poffeffion of the lady, is abated; and fo, like a mere mortal, he must now flatter her vanity, and facrifice his power, to atone for deficiencies- But what has our royal mistress proposed in behalf of her favourite mortals? Ef. As mankind, you know, are ever complaining of their cares, and diffatisfied with their conditions, the generous Proferpine has begg'd of Pluto that they may have free accefs to the waters of Lethe, as a fovereign remedy for their complaints Notice has been already given above, and proclamation made: Mercury is to conduct them to the Styx, you are to ferry 'em over to Elyfium, and I am placed here to diftribute the wa ters. Char. A very pretty employment I fhall have of it, truly! If her majesty has often thefe whims, I must petition the court either to build a bridge over the river, or let me refign my employment. Do their majefties know the difference of weight between fouls and bodies? However, I'll obey their commands to the best of my power; I'll row my crazy boat over and-meet 'em; but many of them will be relieved from their cares before they reach Lethe. Ef. How fo, Charon? Char. Why, I fhall leave half of 'em in the Styx; and any water is a specific against care, provided it be taken in quantity. Enter Mercury. Mer. Away to your boat, Charon; there are some mortals arriv'd, and the females among 'em will be very clamorous if you make 'em wait. Char. I'll make what hafte I can, rather than give those fair creatures a topic for converfation. [Noife within, Boat, boat, boat! Coming-coming-Zounds, you are in a plaguy hurry, fure! No wonder thefe mortal folks have fo nany complaints, when there's no patience among 'em; it they were dead now, and to be fettled here for ever, ley'd be damn'd before they'd make fuch a rout to come come over But Care, I suppose, is thirsty; and till they have drench'd themselves with Lethe, there will be no quiet among 'em:' however, I'll e'en to work; and fo, friend Esop, and brother Mercury, good bye to [Exit Charon. ye. Ef. Now to my office of judge and examiner: in which, to the best of my knowledge, I will act with impartiality; for I will immediately relieve real objects, and only divert myself with pretenders. Mer. Act as your wifdom directs, and conformable to your earthly character, and we fhall have few mur murers. • Ef. I ftill retain my former fentiments, never to refufe advice or charity to thofe that want either; flattery and rudeness fhould be equally avoided; folly and vice fhould never be spared: and though by acting thus, you may offend many, yet you will please the better few; and the approbation of one virtuous mind, • is more valuable than all the noisy applause and un⚫ certain favours of the great and guilty.' Mer. Incomparable Æfop! both men and gods admire thee! We must now prepare to receive thefe mortals; and, left the folemnity of the place fhould ftrike. 'em with too much dread, I'll raife mufic fhall difpel their fears, and embolden them to approach. SONG. Ye mortals whom fancies and troubles perplex, your care. Old maids fhall forget what they wish for in vain, Obey then the fummons, to Lethe repair, III. The wife at one draught may forget all her wants, The The troubled in mind fhall go cheerful away, Drink deep of the ftream, and forget all your care. Ef Mercury, Charon has brought over one mortal already; conduct him hither. (Exit Mercury.) Now for a large catalogue of complaints, without the acknowledgment of one fingle vice.- Here he comesif one may guefs at his cares by his appearance, he really wants the affistance of Lethe. • Enter Poet. Poet. Sir, your humble fervant-your humble fervant-your name is Æfop-I know your perfon inti mately, though I never faw you before; and am well acquainted with you, though I never had the honour of your conversation. Ef. You are a dealer in paradoxes, friend. • Poet. I am a dealer in all parts of speech, and in all the figures of rhetoricI am a poet, Sirand to be a poet, and not acquainted with the great Æfop, is a greater paradox than-I honour you extremely, Sir; you certainly, of all the writers of antiquity, had the greatest, the fublimeft genius, the Ef. Hold, friend, I hate flattery. Poet. My own tafte exactly, I affure you-Sir, no man loves flattery less than myself. Ef. So it appears, Sir, by your being fo ready to give it away. Poet. You have hit it, Mr Æsop, you have hit itI have given it away indeed :—I did not receive one farthing for my last dedication;-and yet, would you lieve it? I abfolutely give all the virtues in heaven to one of the loweft reptiles upon earth. Ef. 'Tis hard indeed to do dirty work for no. thing. Poet. Ay, Sir, to do dirty work, and fill be dirty • one's felf, is the ftone of Syfiphus, and the thirst of Tantalus. You Greek writers, indeed, carried your point by truth and fimplicity- l'hey won't do now-adays our patrons must be tickled into generofityYou gain'd the greateft favours, by fhowing your own merits; we can only gain the smalleft, by publishing 6 thofe thofe of other people. You flourish'd by truth, we' • starve by fiction; tempora mutantur. Ef Indeed, friend, if we may guefs by your prefent plight, you have prostituted your talents to very little purpose. • Poet. To very little, upon my word-but they shall find that I can open another vein-Satire is the fafhion, and fatire they fhall have-Let 'em look to it; I can be sharp as well as fweet-I can scourge as well as tickle-I can bite as Ef. You can do any thing, no doubt. But to the business of this vifit, for I expect a great deal of company- -What are your troubles, Sir? Poet. Why, Mr Æfop, I am troubled with an odd • kind of diforder-I have a fort of a whiftling-a finging a whizzing, as it were, in my head, which I cannot get rid of Ef. Our waters give no relief to bodily disorders; they only affect the memory. Poet. From whence all my diforders proceed. I'll tell you my cafe, Sir-You must know, I wrote a play fome time ago; prefented a dedication of it to a certain young nobleman-He approved and accepted of it; but before I could tafte his bounty, my piece was unfortunately damn'd.- -I loft my benefit: nor could I have recourfe to my patron; for I was told that his lordship played the belt catcall the first night, and was the merrieft perfon in the whole audience. Ef. Pray, what do you call damning a play? Poet. You cannot poffibly be ignorant what it is to be damn'd, Mr Æfop? 'Ef. Indeed I am, Sir- -We had no fuch thing a" mong the Greeks. Poet. No, Sir!-No wonder then that you Greeks · were fuch fine writers- It is impoffible to be defcribed, or truly felt, but by the author himself --If you could but get a leave of abfence from this world' for a few hours, you might perhaps have an opportunity of feeing it yourselfThere is a fort of a new & piece comes upon our ftage this very night, and I am 'pretty fure it will meet with its deferts; at least it shalk ' not |