and fpeaks outlandish. I'll be fur enough if it en't a May-game.

L Pen. Hey! let me die but the boy's in the right. My dear, as I'm alive, Mr Puff, that we faw at the limner's. I told you he was a more cleverer man than I ever faw. Caleb is right; fome matter of merriment, I warrant.

Puff. I wish it was. (Afide.) I no understand.
Car. So, Mr Puff, you are caught.

[Afide
L Dupe. This is a most unfortunate old lady.-
Ma'am, you are here under another mistake. This is
Mynheer Baron de-

L.Pen. Mynheer Figs-end. Can't I believe my own -What! do you think because we live in the city, we can't fee?

eyes?

Nov. Fire me, my Lord, there may be more in this than we can guess. Its worth examining into. Come, Sir, if you are Mynheer, who the devil knows you? Puff. I was know Mr Canto mightily.

Nov. Mr Canto, do you know this Baron?

Car. I fee the dog will be detected, and now is my time to be even with him for his rounds of beef and roafting pigs. (Afide.)—I can't say I ever faw the gentleman before.

Nov. Oh, oh!

L Dupe. The fellow is an impoftor; a palpable cheat. Sir, I think you came from the Rhine; -pray, how fhould you like walking into the Thames?

Nov. Or what think you, my Lord? The rafcal complain'd but now that the buft wanted a nofe;-suppose we were to fupply the deficiency with his?

L Dupe. But juftice, Mr Novice.

Car. Great rafcal, indeed, gentlemen!If rogues of this ftamp get once a footing in thefe affemblies, adieu to all moral honesty. I think an example should be made of him. But, were I to advise, he is a properer subject for the rabble to handle than the prefent company.

All. Away with him.

Puff. Hands off. If I must suffer, it shall not be fingly. Here is the obfequious Mr Brush, and the very courtly Mr Canto, fhall be the partners of my diftrefs. VOL. I.

Know

Know then, we all are rogues, if the taking advantage of the absurdities and follies of mankind can be call'd roguery. I own I have been a cheat, and I glory in it. But what point will you virtuofi, you connoiffeurs, gain by the detection? Will not the publishing of our crimes trumpet forth your folly?

L Dupe. Matchlefs impudence!

Puff. My noble lord here, the dilletanti, the curieu, the precieu of this nation! what infinite glory will he acquire from this ftory, that the Leo, the Mæcenas, the Petronius, notwithstanding his exquisite taste, has been drawn in to purchase, at an immenfe expence, a cartload of-rubbish!

L Dupe. Gentlemen and ladies-I have the honour to take my leave.

Puff. Your Lordship's moft obedient-When shall I fend you your Corregio, your St Anthony of Padua, your Ram Cat, my good lord?

L Dupe. Rafcal!

[Exit. Nov. This won't do, Sir.-Though my lord has not fpirit enough, damn me if I quit you.

Puff. What, my fprightly fquire! Pray favour me with a fight of your Oriuna.-It has the relish; an indifputable antique; being a Bristol farthing, coin'd by a foap-boiler to pay his journeymen in the fcarcity of cafh, and purchased for twopence of a travelling tinker by, Sir, your humble fervant, Timothy Puff. Ha, ha, ha!

Nov. My Oriuna a Briftol farthing!

Puff. Moft affuredly.

Nov. I'll be reveng'd.

[Going.

Puff. Stay, ftay, and take your buft, my fweet fquire; your Serapis. Two heads, they fay, are better than one; Jay them together. But the locks! how gracefully they fall all adown? fo decent, and fo-ha, ha, ha!

Nov. Confound you!

Puff. Why, Sir, if it had a nofe, I would not give fixpence for it. Pray, how many years before the crea tion was it fabricated, fquire?

Nov. I fhall live to fee you hang'd, you dog. [Exit. Puff. Nay, but, fquire; ha, ha, ha!Now, Madam, to your ladyship I come; to whose discernment,

aided by the fagacity of your fon Caleb, I owe my dif

covery.

Ald. Look you, don't think to abuse my lady. I am one of the

Puff. Quorum

I know it, Mr Alderman; but I mean to ferve your worship, by humbling a little the vanity of your wife.

L Pen. Come along, chuck. I'll not stay to hear the rafcality of the fellow.

Puff. Oh, my lady Pentweazel, correct the feverity of that frown, left you should have more of the Medusa than the Medicis in your face.

L Pen. Saucy jackanapes!

Puff. What, then, I have quite loft my city acquaintance; why, I've promised all my friends tickets for my lord mayor's ball through your ladyship's interest. L Pen. My intereft, indeed, for fuch a

Puff. If Blowbladder-street has any charms-SirMa'am not a step-The finest gentleman! ha, ha, ha!

-And what can you say for yourself, you cowardly ill-looking rafcal? (to Carmine.) Delert your friend at the firft pinch-your ally--your partner! No apology, Sir-1 have done with you. From poverty and shame I took you; to that I restore you. Your crime be your 'punishment.' (Turning to the audience.) Could I be as fecure from the cenfure of this affembly, as I am fafe from the refentment of Dupe, Novice, Squander, from the alluring baits of my amorous city lady, and the dangerous combination of my false friend, I should be hapPy.

'Tis from your fentence I expect my fate';
Your voice alone my triumph can complete.

THE

What nervs, what news? was their eternal cry:

Is Philip fick*!

Philip is well!

-then foar'd their spirits bigh;

-dejection in each eye.

Athenian coblers join'd in deep debate,

While gold in fecret undermin'd the ftate ;

Till Wisdom's bird the vulture's prey was made,
And the fword gleam'd in Academus' fhade.
Now modern Philips threaten this our land,
What fay Britannia's fons ?- -along the Strand
What news? ye cry- with the fame paffion fmit

And there at least you rival Attic wit.

A parliament of porters here foall muse

On fiate-affairs

'fwall'wing a taylor's news;”
For ways and means no ftarv'd projector fleeps
And ev'ry foop fome mighty ftatefman keeps:
He Britain's foes, like Bobadil, can kill;
Supply th' Exchequer, and neglects bis till.
In ev'ry ale-boufe legiflators meet;
And patriots fettle kingdoms in the Fleet.
To fbow this phrenzy in its genuine light,
A modern newfmonger appears to night:
Trick'd out from Addifon's accomplish'd page,
Behold! th Upholsterer afcends the ftage.
No minifter futh trials e'er bath flood;
He turns a bankrupt for the public good!
Undone bimfelf, yet full of England's glory!
A politician ! -neither Whig nor Tory.
Nor can ye High or Low the Quixote call;
"He's knight o' th' foire, and reprefents ye

all."

As for the bard- -to you be yields his plan ;:
For well be knows, you're candid where you can
One only praife be claims- -no party-ftroke
Here turns a public character to joke.
His Panacea is for all degrees,

For all have more or lefs of this difeafe:
Whatever bis fuccefs, of this he's fure,
There's merit ev'n to attempt the cure.

* Vide the first Philippic.