seeds that of your intended fon-in-law.

161

Sir Faf Sir, your virtue is beyond all eftates; and I give you my daughter with all the pleasure in the world. Lean. Now my fortune makes me happy indeed, my deareft Charlotte. And, Doctor, I'll make thy for

tune too.

Greg. If you would be so kind to make me a phyfician in earnest, I should defire no other fortune.

Lean. Faith, Doctor, I wish I could do that in return: for your having made me an apothecary; but I'll do as. well for thee, I warrant.

Dor. So, fo; our physician, I find, has brought about fine matters. And is it not owing to me, firrah, that you have been a physician at all?

Sir Jaf. May I beg to know whether you are a phyfi. eian or not or what the devil you are?

Greg. I think, Sir, after the miraculous cure you have feen me perform, you have no reason to afk whether I am a phyfician or no-And for you, wife, I'll henceforth have you behave with all deference to my greatnefs.

Dor. Why, thou puff'd up fool, I could have made asgood a physician myfelf; the cure was owing to the apo-thecary, not the doctor.

ALR, We've cheated the Parfon, &c.

When tender young virgins look pale and complain,
You may fend for a dozen great doctors in vain:
All give their opinion and pocket their fees;
Each writes her a cure, though all mifs her difeafe;.
Powders, drops,
Juleps, flops,

A cargo of poifon from phyfical shops.

Though they phyfic to death the unhappy poor maidž. What's that to the doctor. -fince he must be paid?? Would you know how you may manage her right?. Our doctor has brought you a noftrum to-night,

Can never vary,

Nor. mifcarry,

If the lover be but the apothecary.

CHORUS.

Can never vary, &c.

Q.3.

TASTE.

And fpoken by him in the character of an Auctioneer,

BEFORE this Court, I PETER PUFF appear,

A Briton born, and bred an Auctioneer;
Who for myself, and eke a hundred others,
My useful, boneft, learned, bawling brothers
With much bumility and fear implore ye,
To lay our prefent defp'rate cafe before ye.

'Tis faid this night a certain wag intends
To laugh at us, our calling, and our friends:
If lords and ladies, and fuch dainty folks,
Are cur'd of auction-bunting by his jokes;
Should this odd doctrine fpread throughout the land,
Before you buy, be fure to understand;
Ob, think on us what various ills will flow

When great ones only purchase- -what they know!

Why

Why laugh at TASTE? It is a harmless fashion,
And quite fubdues each detrimental paffion:
The fair ones hearts will ne'er incline to man,
While thus they rage for china and japan.

The virtuofo, too, and connoiffeur,

Are ever decent, delicate, and pure;

The fmalleft bair their loofer thoughts might bold;
Just warm when fingle, and when married cold':
Their blood at fight of beauty gently flows;
Their Venus must be old, and want a nofe!
No am'rous paffion with deep knowledge thrives;
'Tis the complaint, indeed, of all our wives!
'Tis faid Vertù to fuch a beight is grown,
All artifts are encourag'd-

but our own; -
Be not deceiv'd, I bere declare on oath,
I never yet fold goods of foreign growth:
Ne'er fent commiffions out to Greece or Rome;
My beft antiquities are made at home.

I've Romans, Greeks, Italians, near at hand,
True Britons all—and living in the Strand..
I ne'er for trinkets rack my pericranium,
They furnifb out my room from Herculaneum.
But bufo-

Should it be known that English are employ'd,
Our manufacture is at once deftroy'd;
No matter what our countrymen deserve,
They'll thrive as ancients, but as moderns farve
If we fbould fall- —to you it will be owing;
Farewel to arts- -they're going, going, going!.
The fatal hammer's in your hand, ob Town!
Then fet us up

and knock the POET down..

ACT I.

SCENE, A painting Room.

Enter CARMINE, followed by the Boy.

CARMINE.

LAY in

AY thefe colours in the window, by the pallet.

Boy. Squire Felltree has been here, and infifts upon Mifs Racket's pictures being immediately finish'd and carry'd home-As to his wife and children, he says, you may take your own time.

Car. Well

Boy. Here has been a meffage too from my lady

Pen

Pen-I can't remember her name, but 'tis upon the flate. She defires to know if you will be at home about

noon.

Car. Fetch it. (Exit Boy.) Was the whole of our profeffion confined to the mere bufinefs of it, the employment would be pleafing as well as profitable; but, as matters are now managed, the art is the last thing to be regarded. Family connections, private recommendations, and an eafy genteel method of flattering, is to fupply the delicacy of a Guido, the colouring of a Rubens, and the defign of a Raphael-all their qualities centring in one man, without the firft requifites, would be ufelefs; and with thefe, not one of them is necef. fary.

Enter Boy with the Slate..

Car. Let's fee-Oh! lady Pentweazel from Blow. bladder-ftreet- -Admit her by all means; and if Puff or Varnifh fhould come, I am at home. (Exit Boy.) Lady Pentweazel! ha, ha! Now here's a proof that avarice is not the only or laft paffion old age is fubject to.This fuperannuated beldame gapes for flattery like a neft of unfledg'd crows for food; and with them, too, gulps down every thing that's offered hercoarfe. Well, fhe fhall be fed; I'll make her my intro.. ductory key to the whole bench of aldermen..

-no matter how

Enter Boy with Puff.

Boy. Mr Puff, Sir.

Car. Let us be private. What have you there? Puff. Two of Rembrandt's etching, by Scrape in May's buildings: a paltry affair, a poor ten-guinea job; however, a fmall game -you know the proverb What became of you yesterday?

Car. I was detained by Sir Pofitive Bubble. How went the pictures? The Guido, what did that fetch? Puff. One hundred and thirty.

Car. Hum! Four guineas the frame, three the paint-ing; then we divide juft one hundred and twenty-three. Puff. Hold-not altogether fo faft-Varnish had two pieces for bidding against Squander, and Brush five for bringing Sir Tawdry Trifle.

Car. Mighty well! Look ye, Mr Puff, if these people

are

are eternally quarter'd upon us, I declare off, Sir; they eat up the profit. There's that's damn'd Brufh-but you'll find him out. I have upon his old plan given him copies of all the work I executed upon his recommendation; and what was the confequence? He clandeftinely fold the copies, and I have all the originals in my lumber-room.

Puff. Come, come, Carmine, you are no great lofer by that. Ah! that lumber-room! that lumber room out of repair, is the beft condition'd estate in the county of Middlefex. Why now there's your Sufannah, it could not have produc'd you above twenty at moft; and by the addition of your lumber-room dirt, and the falutary application of the 'fpaltham-pot, it became a Guido, worth a hundred and thirty pounds. Befides, in all traffic of this kind, there must be combinations.

Varnish and Brush are our jackals, and it is but fair they should partake of the prey. Courage, my boy! never fear! Praise be to folly and fashion, there are, in this town, dupes enough to gratify the avarice of ' us all.'

Car. Mr Puff, you are ignorant and fcurrilous, and very impertinent, Mr Puff; and, Mr Puff, I have a ftrange mind to leave you to yourselves, and then fee what hand you would make of it-Sir, if I do now and then add fome tints of antiquity to my pictures, I do it in condefcenfion to the foible of the world; for, Sir, age, age, Sir, is all my pictures want to render 'em as good pieces as the mafters from whom they are taken: and let me tell you, Sir, he that took my Sufannah for a Guido, gave no mighty proofs of his ignorance, Mr Puff.

Puff. Why, thou poft-painter, thou dauber, thou execrable white-washer, thou-Sirrah,' have you fo foon forgot the wretched ftate from whence I dragg'd you? The first time I fet eyes on you, rafcal!' what was your occupation then? Scribbling, in fcarce legible letters, Coffee, tea, and chocolate, on a bawdy-house window in Goodman's-fields.

Car. The meannefs of my original demonftrates the greatness of my genius.

Puff. Genius! Here's a dog. Pray, how high did

you