other houses; nor let him find a wilderness where he should enter a garden-confusion where he should see order, or filth that disgusts, where he might hope to behold neatness that delights and

attracts.

"If this be the case, who can wonder that, in the anguish of disappointment, and in the bitterness of a neglected and heart-broken husband, he turns from his own door for that comfort which he wished to enjoy at home, and that society which he hoped to enjoy in his wife, and puts up with the substitutes for both which he finds in the houses of other men, or in the company of other women.

"United to be associates, then, let man and wife be as much in each other's society as possible; and there must be something wrong in domestic life, when they need the aid of balls, routs, plays, and card parties, to relieve them from the tedium produced by home pursuits. I thank God I am a stranger to that taste which leads a man to flee from his own comfortable parlor, and the society of his wife-from the instruction and recreation contained in a well-stored library, or the evening rural walk, when the business of the day is over, to scenes of public amusement for enjoyment. To my judgment, the pleasures of home and home society, when home and home society are all that could be desired, are such as never cloy, and need

no change, but from one kindred scene to another.

"I am sighing and longing, perhaps in vain, for a period when society shall be so elevated and so purified-when the love of knowledge will be so intense, and the habits of life will be so simplewhen religion and morality will be so generally diffused, that men's houses will be the seat and circle of their pleasures; when, in the society of an affectionate and intelligent wife, and of well educated children, each will find his greatest earthly delight; and when it will be felt to be no more necessary to quit their own fireside for the ball room or the concert, than it is to go from the well-spread table to the public feast, to satisfy the craving of a healthy appetite. Then it will be no longer imposed upon us to prove that public amusements are improper, for they will be found unnecessary."

CHAPTER XI.

SELF-RESPECT.

A principle. Self-respect should be early cultivated. An

anecdote.

EVERY person tends to become what he is taken to be; and every person is taken to be what he takes himself to be. At least, there is so much of truth in this statement that it may safely be regarded as a general rule.

Let a young lady be brought up in the belief, that she is inferior in natural capacity, to her companions of the same age and circumstances; let her, moreover, have very little respect, not only for her own natural understanding, but for her acquired talents; let her also consider herself as very low in the moral scale; let her, in short, respect herself but little-and what will be the consequence? Will she not cease to be respected by those around her, in the same proportion?

I do not say she will, in this way, wholly lose the respect of her friends; but only that she will

lose a measure of it, and that this measure will be in exact proportion to the measure of her own loss of respect for herself.

In like manner, every young wife should remember that the measure of her husband's respect will be graduated by the respect she manifests for herself. If she deem it important to her happiness to appear, in his eyes, respectable, let her in the first place learn to set a proper estimate on herself, and maintain, in all circumstances, that dignity of character and that self-confidence, without which her object can never be secured.

Let me not be misunderstood. I am not encouraging pride or vanity. There is a wide distinction between these and a just self-respect. They are as unbecoming, and will as surely tarnish the lustre of your character, as the latter will add to it.

Nor am I disposed to encourage an assumption of what does not exist. Nothing will ever be gained by mere pretension. It should be your study to know what you are, and what is the measure of respect to which you are entitled, from your husband and others. And having formed a judgment, do not let your natural timidity or diffidence lead you into concessions which your judgment would not approve.

I have already treated at considerable length, on concession and submission to your husband. I have even insisted, at the risk of being regarded as heretical, that such concession is sometimes your duty. Yet there is no clashing in all this. Two friends of the same sex may often yield their opinions to each other, when there is danger of collision, without any sacrifice of self-respect, and without losing, in the smallest degree, the respect of each other.

I have sometimes thought that more pains ought to be taken by parents to cultivate in their children this virtue of self-respect; and I throw out the hint for the prospective benefit of my readers. I am the more disposed to do so, from the fact that I have known so many persons miserable through life, because they were wanting in respect for themselves.

M. R. was the eldest of two brothers, in a large family. The youngest was taught to respect himself; the other was made to think himself all but an idiot. The impression of his inferiority was strengthened by every possible circumstance of his treatment. And what he was taught to take himself to be, he accordingly became. With natural parts nearly equal to the average of mankind, he grew up little better or more useful than