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Where shall I find thee such another pair? Make preparation for our wedding-day.
(Exeunt omnes. Aldi. Here! take these dead and bloody corpse
Scene- A country village.
SCENE I.-An apartment in MUCKWORM'S
Enter ARBELLA and COMBRUSI.
AIR.- Set by SIGNIOR PORPORA. Ar. Gentle Cupid ! seek my lover,
Waft a thousand sighs from me!
Bid him haste !
when once it gets possession of a young lady's heart, it turns her head quite topsy-turvy, and makes her out of humour with every bodyI'm sure I have reason to say so.
Ar. Prithee leave your nonsense, and tell me something of Gaylove.
Com. All I can tell you, ma'am, is, that he is stark staring mad, for love of you. But this confounded uncle of yours
Ar. What of him?
Com. Has just received news of the arrival of a rich country squire out of Yorkshire ; which country
squire is cut out for your husband. Ar. They that cut a husband out for me, shall cut him out of better stuff, I assure you.
Com. Ma'am! Ar. No news from Gaylove yet? Com. Not a tittle, ma'am. Ar. It quite distracts me! Com. And every body else, ma'am; for when you are out of humour, one may as well be out of the world. Well, this love is a strange thing;
AIR- In vain, dear Chloe.
Shall I stand still and tamely see,
Is not my heart my own?
Slang. Nor am I now, sir; your humble serI hate, I scorn their clownish squire, vant has invented already—and such a scheme ! Nor lord, nor duke, do I desire,
Gay. How! which way, dear Slango?
Slang. Why thus I must personate Arbel
la, (with this sweet face) and you her uncle, unCam. Well said, ma'am; I love a woman of der which disguises we may intercept the country spirit.
'squire, and get his credentials; equipt with
which--I leave you to guess the rest. AIR.-Hark away! 'tis the merry toned horn. Gay. Happy invention ! Success attend it !
Slang. I can't say Amen, though I'd do any Why should women so much be controuled?
thing to serve you. Do you know the result, sir? Why should men with our rights make so bold? no less than the forfeiture of your dear liberty. Let the battle 'twixt sexes be tried,
Have you forgot the song of The Dog and the We shall soon prove the strongest side,
AIR.- When the bright god of day.
Whoe'er to a wife
Is linked for his life,
Is placed in a wretched condition :
Though plagued with her tricks,
And death is his only physician.
To trifle and toy,
May give a man joy.
When summoned by love, or by beauty; Slang. The devil a bit, sir; old Muckworm But, where is the bliss in has cut off all communication : But I have worse Our conjugal kissing, news to tell you yet.
When passion is prompted by duty ? Gay. That's impossible.
Slang. Your mistress is to be married to ano- The cur who possessed ther, and that quickly.
Of mutton the best, Gay. Married! you surprise me—to whom? A bone he could leave at his pleasure :
Slang. To 'squire Sapsküll, a Yorkshire geniie- But if to his tail man, of a very great estate.
'Tis tied, without fail, Gay. Confusion! Can she be so false? To He's harassed and plagued beyond meaSapskull! I know him well, of Sapskull-HallI was born within a mile and a half of the place; his father is the greatest rogue in the county, the Gay. I am now of a contrary opinion : Vice very man I am now suing for what my late bro- looks so hateful, and virtue so amiable in my ther mortgaged to him, when I was student at eye, especially as 'tis the ready road to true hapCambridge. Is he not content to withhold my piness, I am resolved to pursue its paths. A reright from me, but he must seek to rub me of the gular life, and a good wife for me. only happiness I desire in life?
AIR.--Answer to the above song.
To the same tune.
That man, who for life
Is blest in a wife, 'Tis past the power of tongue to tell,
Is sure in a happy condition;
Go things how they will,
She sticks by bim still,
She's comforter, friend, and physician.
Pray, where is the joy,
To trifle and toy, Then of my dearest Arabell.
Yet dread some disaster froin beauty?
But sweet is the bliss, Is there no way to prevent this match? You were Of a conjugal kiss, not used to be thus barren of invention.
Where love mingles plcasure with duty.
One extravagant whore,
And there's your dames, of dainty frames, Shall cost a man more,
With skins as white as milk,
Of satin, and of silk.
And if your mind be so inclined,
Pull out a handsome purse of gold,
They can't resist its charms.
Sap. Wuns-lent! what a mortal big place this same London is ! ye inun ne'er see end on't, Gay. Welcome to London, dear squire Sapfor sure
-Housen upon housen, folk upon folk skull! I hope your good father is well, and all at
-one would admire where they did grow Sapskull-hall? all of 'em.
Sap. Did ye e'er hear the like, Blunder? This Blun. Ay, master, and this is nought to what old gentleman knows me as well as I know myyou'll see an by; and ye go to Tower ye mun self.
[Aside to BLUNDER. see great hugeous ships as tal as housen : Then Blun. Ay, master, you Londoners know every ye mun go to playhousen, and there be no less thing. nor six of them, a hopeful company; o' my con- Gay. I had letters of your coming, and was science ! There you'll see your comical trage- resolved to meet you. dies, and your uproars, and roratoribusses, and Sap. Pray, sir, who may you be, an' I may be hear Fardinello, that sings Solfa better nor our so bold ? minister choir men: And more nor that, ye mun Gay. My name, sir, is Muckworm. ba' your choice of the prattiest lasses, ye e'er set Sup. What, sir Penurivus Muckworm?
Gay. So they call me. Sap. By the mass, and I'll be somebody among Sap. Sir, if your name he sir Penurious Muckthem-So I will-but how mun we find out this worm, my name is Samuel Sapskull, jun. esq. sont same sir Penurious Muckworm?
of sir Samuel Sapskull, of Sapskull-hall, in the Blun. Ye mun look to letter for that.
East Riding of Yorkshire. Sap. Letter says, G-r-o-z Groz-ve-n-e-r, near Gay. Sir, I am no stranger to your family and Grozveneer square ;—but how mun ye know merit; for which reason I sent for you to town, where this same Grosveneer squire is?
to marry my niece with 60001, fortune, and a Blun. Why ye mun ask ostler for that, he'll pretty girl into the bargain. set you right for sure: For your London ostlers Blun. Look ye there, master! are wiser by half than our country justasses.
[Aside to BLUNDER. Sap. Ay, Blunder, every thing's fine in Lon- Sup. Hold your peace, you blockhead! don.
[Aside to SAPSKULL.
Gay. But how may I be sure, that you are the AIR.—London is a fine town. very squire Sapskull I sent for? Have you no
letters, no credentials? O London is a dainty place,
Sap. Open the portinantell, Blunder-
sir, I ha' brought all my tackle with me. Here, For all the streets are paved with gold, sir, is a letter from father. [Gives a letter.] And And all the folks are witty.
here, sir, , are deeds and writings, to shew what
you mun ha' to trust tu: Aud here, sir, is marAnd there's your lords and ladies fine, riage-settlement, signed by father, in fit case That ride in coach and six,
young gentlewoman and I likes one another. That nothing drink but claret wine,
Gay. Sir, she can't chuse but adaire so charınAnd talk of politics.
ing a person. There is but one obstacle that I
know of. And there's your beaus, with powdered Sap. What may that be, an I may be so bold? cloaths,
Gay. Your habit, sir; your habit.
Sap. Why, sir, 'twas counted wondrous fine in
Guy. 0, sir, but it's old fashioned now, and
my niece loves every thing to the tip-top of the And there's the English actor goes
mode. But if you'll go alony with me, i'll equip With many a hungry belly,
you in an instant. While heaps of gold are forced, God wot,
On signior Farrinelli.
SCENE I.-An apartment. Enter ARBELLA and COMBRUSH.
AIR.-Set by the author.
Arb. In vain you mention pleasure,
To one confused like me,
Compared to liberty?
But I'll send you packing. Get out of my house, you saucy baggage !
Arb. Sir, though you have the care of my estate, you have no command over my servants : I am your ward, not your slave; if you use me thus, you'll constrain me to chuse another guardian.
Muck! [Aside.] A gypsey ! who taught her this cunning? I must hasten this match, or lose 1000). by the bargain. (To ARB.) What a bustle is here with a peevish love-sick girl! Pray, child, have you learnt Cupid's catechism? Do you know what love is?
Arb. Yes, sir
O thou, for whom I languish,
And dost the same for me, Relieve a virgin's anguish,
And set a captive free.
AIR.-Set by the author. Love's a gentle generous passion,
Source of all sublime de'ight, When, with mutual inclination,
Two fond hearts in one unite.
Muck. Come, there's a good girl, don't be in the pouts, now. Com. I think it's enough to put any young
lady in the pouts, to deny her the man she likes, and force her to marry a great looby Yorkshire tike. In short, sir, my mistress don't like him, and won't have him. Nay, I don't like him, and tell you flat and plain she shan't have him.
Muck. Shan't have him, Mrs Snap-Dragon !
Com. No, shan't have him, sir; if I were she, I would see who should force me to marry against my will.
Muck. Was ever such an impudent hussy !
What are titles, pomp or riches,
If compared with irue content? That false joy which now bewitches,
When obtained we may repent.
But a chaste and constant love,