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THE

MALE-COQUETTE.

BY

GARRICK.

DRAMATIS PERSONÆ.

MEN.

WOMEN. DAFTODIL, the Male-coquette.

Sophia, involuntarily partial to DAFFODIL, but TUKELY, attached to Sopula.

esteeming TUKELY. LORD RACKET,

ARABELLA, SiR WILLIAM WHISTER,

Mrs DOTTEREL,

attached to DAFFODIL. Sir Tan-Tıvy,

men of the town. WIDOW DAMPLY, SPINNER,

Lady Fanny Pewit.
Dizzy,
RUFFLE, valet to DAFFODIL.
First Waiter.
Second Waiter,
Harry.

Scene-London.

ACT. I.

SCENE-1.

cause he had a little more wickedness than the

rest of his neighbours. Enter ARABELLA, and Sophia in Men's clothes.

Sop. Then I will be the first to set a better Ara. Indeed, my dear, you'll repent this fro- example.- If I did not think a man's character lic,

was of some consequence, I should not now run Sop. Indeed, my dear, then it will be the first such risques, and encounter such difficulties, to frolic ! ever repented in all my life. Look'e, be better acquainted with it. Bell, 'tis in vain to oppose me, for I am resolved Ara. Ha, Sophy! if you hare love enough to --the only way to find out his character, is to see be jealous, and jealousy enough to try these expehim thus, and converse freely with him. If be is riments- don't imagine, though you should the wretch he is reported to be, I shall away with make terrible discoveries, that you can immehim at once; and if he is not, he will thank me diately quit your inclinations, with your breeches; for the trial, and our union will be the stronger. and return so very philosophically to your petti

Ara. I never knew a woman yet, who had coats again, ha, ha! prudence enough to turn off a pretty fellow, be- Sop. You may be as merry with my weaknesses, as you please, madam; but I know my own Ara. Astonishing !_and what did you talk heart, and can rely upon it.

about? Ara. We are great bullies by nature; but Sop. Of various things—women among the courage and swaggering are two things, cousin, rest; and though I have not absolutely any open

Sup. Since you are as little to be convinced, as acts of rebellion against him, yet I fear he is a I am to be persuaded—your servant

traitor at heart-and then such vanity !-but I

(Going had not time to make great discoveries it was Ara. Nay, Sophy, this is unfriendly-if you inerely the prologue–The play is to come. are resolved, upon your scheme, open to ine with- Ara. Act your part well, or we shall hiss you. out reserve, and I'll assist you.

Sup. Never fear me; you don't know what a Sop. Imprimis, then; I confess to you, that I mad, raking, wild young devil I can be, if I set bave a kind of whimsical attachment to Daffo- my mind to it, Beli. [Luying hold of her. dil; not but I can see his vanities and laugh at Ara. You fright me !--you shall positively be them.

no bed-fellow of mine any longer. dra. And like him better for them

Sop. I am resolved to ruin my woman, and kill Sop. Pshaw! don't plague me, Bell-my other my man, before I get into petticoats again. lover, the jealous Mr Tukely

Ara. Take care of a quarrel though—a rival Ara. Who loves you too well to be success- may be too rough with you. ful

Sop. No, no, fighting is not the vice of these Sop. And whom I really esteem

times; and, as for a little swaggering, dainn it, I Ara. As a good sort of man, ha, ha, ha! can do it as well as the best of thein. Sop. Nay, should have loved him

Ara. Hush, hush! Mr Tukely is hereAru. Had not a prettier fellow stept in be- Sop. Now for a trial of skill; if I deceive him, tween, who perhaps does not care a farthing for you'll allow that half of my business is done. you

(She walks aside, takes out a glass, and Sop. That's the question, my dear-Tukely, I

looks at the pictures. say, either stung by jealousy, or unwilling to lose me, without a struggle, has intreated me to know

Enter TUKELY. more of his rival, before I engage too far with him-Many strange things he has told me, which Tuke. Your servant, Miss Bell-I need not have piqued me, I must confess, and I am now ask if Mis Sophy be at home, for I believe I prepared for the proof.

have seen her since you did. Ara. You'll certainly be discovered, and put Ara. Have you, sir? You seem disconcerted, to shame.

Mr Tukely: Has any thing happened? Sop. I have secured my success already.

Tuke. Å trifle, madam-but I was born to be Ara. What do you mean?

trilled with, and to be made uneasy at trifles. Sop. I have seen him, conversed with bim, aud Ara. Pray, what trilling aftur has disturbed ain to meet him again to-day, by his own appoint you thus ?

Sop. What's the matter now? [Aside. Ara. Madness! it can't be.'

Tuke. I met Miss Sophy this moment in a Sop. But it bas been, I tell you

hackney chair, at the end of the street: I knew Ara. How? how? Quickly, quickly, dear So- her by the pink negligee; but, upon my crossing phy?

the way to speak to her, she turned her head Sop. When you went to lady Fanny's last night, away, laughed violently, and drew the curtain in and left me, as you thought, little disposed for a frolic, I dressed me as you see, called a chair, Sop. So, so; well said, jealousy. [ Aside. and went to the King's Arms, asked for my gen- Ara. She was in haste, I suppose, to get to tleman, and was shewn into a roon; he imme- her engagement? diately lett his company, and came to me.

Tuke. Yes, yes, madam; I imagine she had Aru. I treible for you.

some engagement upon her hands-- But sure, Sup. I introduced myself as an Italian noble- madain, her great desire to see her more agreeman, just arrived: Il Murchese di Macaronin able friends, need not be attended with conAre Ridiculous ! ha, ha!

tempt and disregard to the rest of her acquaintSop. An intimate of sir Charles Vainlove's, ance. who is now at Rome, I told himn iny letters were Ara. Indeed, Mr Tukely, I have so many cawith my baggage, at the custom-housemHe re- prices, and follies of my own, that I can't possibly ceived me with all the openness imaginable, and answer for my cousin's too. would have introduced me to his friends. I beg- Sop. Well said, Bell!

Aside. ged lo be excused, but promised to attend him Tuke. Answer, iniss! No, Heaven forbid you urday, and am now ready, as you see, to keep should !-for my part, I have given up all my nay wurd.

hopes as a lover, and only, now, feel for her as a

ment.

my face.

it.

friend--and indeed as a friend, a sincere friend, Ara. For Heaven's sake! what's the matter, I can't but say, that going out in a hackney chair, gentlemen ? without a servant, and endeavouring to conceal Tuke. What can I do with this fellow? herself, is somewhat incompatible with Miss Sc- Sop. Madam, don't be alarmed; this affair will phy's rank and reputation. This I speak as a be very short; I am always expeditious; and will friend, not as a lover, Miss Bell! pray mind that. cut his throat, without shocking you in the least :

Ara. I see it very plainly, Mr Tukely, and it -Come, sir, [Draws.) if you won't defend yourgives me great pleasure, that you can be so in- self, I must kick you about the room. different in your love, and yet so jealous in your

(Advancing. friendship

Tuke. Respect for this lady, and this house, Tuke. You do me honour, miss, by your good has curbed my resentment hitherto : But as opinion. (Walks about, and sees Sophy.}-Who's your insolence would take advantage of my forthat, pray?

bearance, I must correct it at all eventsAra. A gentleman who is waiting for Sophy.

[Draws. Tuke. I think she has gentlemen waiting for Sop. & Ara. Ha, ha, ha! her every where.

Tuke. Wbat is all this? Sop. I am afraid, sir, (Coming up to him with Sop. What, would you set your courage to a her glass.) you'll excuse me, that notwithstand-poor weak woman! You are a bold Briton, ining your declaration, and this lady's compliments, deed! Ha, ha, ha! there is a little of the devil, called jealousy, at Tuke. What, Sophia ? the bottom of all this uneasiness.

Ara. Sophia ! No, no; she is in a hackneyTuke. Sir!

chair, you know, without a servant, in her pink Sop. I say, sir, wear your cloak as long as you negligee-Ha, ha, ha! please, the hoof will peep out, take my word for Tuke. I am astonished! and can scarce be

lieve my own eyes-What means this metamorTuke. Upon my word, sir, you are pleased to phosis ? honour me with a familiarity which I neither ex- Sop. 'Tis in obedience to your commandspected, or indeed desired, upon so slight an ac- Thus equipped, I have got access to Daffodil, and quaintance.

shall know whether your picture of him is drawn Sop. I dare swear you did not.

by your regard for me, or resentment to him[Turns off, and hums a tune. • I will sound him, from his lowest note to the Tuke. I don't understand this !

top

of his compass. Ara. This is beyond expectation. Aside. Tuke. Your spirit transports me-This will be

Sop. I presume, sir, you never was out of Eng- a busy, and, I hope, a happy day for me. I have land?

(Picking her teeth. appointed no less than five ladies to meet me at Tuke. I presume, sir, that you are mistaken— the widow Damply's; to each of whom, as well I never was so foolishly fond of my own country, as yourself, the accomplished Mr Daffodil has to think that nothing good was to be had out of presented his heart; the value of which I am reit; nor so shamefully ungrateful to it, to prefer solved to convince them of this night, for the the vices and fopperies of every other nation, to sake of the whole sex. the peculiar advantages of my own.

Sop. Pooh, pooh! that's the old story-You Sop. Ha, ha! well said, old England, i'faith! are su prejudicedNow, madam, if this gentleman would put this Tuke. I am afraid 'tis you who are prejudiced, speech into a farce, and properly lard it with madam; for, if you will believe your own eyes roast beef, and liberty, I would engage the gal- and earsleries would roar and halloo at it for half an hour Sop. That I will, I assure you; I shall visit together, ba, ha, ha!

him immediately. He thinks me in the country; Ara. Now the storm's coming. [Aside. and, to confirm it, i'll write to him as from

Tuke. If you are not engaged, sir, we'll ad- thence. But ask me no more questions about journ to the next tavern, and write this farce be what I have done, and what is to be done ; for I tween us.

have not a moment to lose ; and so, my good Sop. I fancy, sir, by the information of your friend Tukely, yours—— My dear Bell, I kiss face, that you are more inclined to tragedy, than your hand. (Kisses her hand.) You are a fine comedy

woman, by Heavens! Here, Joseppi, Brunello, Tuke. I shall be inclined to treat you very ill, Francesi, where are my fellows there? Call me if you don't walk out with me.

a chair. Viva l'Amor, et libertaSop. I have been treated so very ill already,

(Exit, singing in the little conversation I have had with you, Ara. Ha, ha! there is a spirit for you! Well, that you must excuse my walking out for more now, what do you stare at? You could not well of it; but if you'll persuade the lady to leave the desire more- -0, fie, fie! don't sigh and bite room, I'll put you to death-dainme

your fingers; rouse yourself, man; set all your [Going up to him. wits to work; bring this faithless Corydon to

swear at me.

shame, and I'll be hanged if the prize is not Ruf. If I go again, sir, may I be caned, kickyours. If she returns in tine, I'll bring her to ed, and horse-ponded for my pains. I believe I the widow Damply’s

have been lucky enough to bring an old house Tuke. Dear Miss Arabella

over your head. Ara. Well, well; make me a fine speech ano- Daf. What do you mean? ther time. About your business now

Ruf. Mr Dotterel only bobbled after me, to Tuke. I fiye

[Erit. pay me for the postage of your letter; but being Ara. What a couple of blind fools has love a little out of wind, he soon stopt to curse and made of this poor fellow, and my dear cousin

I could hear hiin mutter someSophy! Little do they imagine, with all their thing of scoundrel, and pimp, and my master, wise discoveries, that Daffodil is as faithful a lo- and villain—and blunderbuss and saw pit; and ver, as he is an accomplished gentleman. I pity then he shook his stick, and looked like the dethese poor deceived women, with all my heart? vil! But how will they stare, when they find that he Daf. Blunderbuss, and saw-pit! This busihas artfully pretended a regard for them, the ness grows a little serious, and so we'll drop it.better to conceal his real passion for me! They The husband is so old and peevish, and she so will certainly tear my eyes out; and what will young and pressing, that I'll give it up, Ruftle;cousin Sophy say to me, when we are obliged to the town talks of us, and I am satisfied. declare our passion? No matter what—'Tis the Ruf. Pray, sir, with submission, for what end fortune of war; and I shall only serve her, as do you write to so many ladies, and make such a she and every other friend would serve me in rout about them? there are now upon the list half the same situation

a dozen maids, a leash of wives, and the widow A little cheating never is a sin,

Damply. I know your honour don't intend mis

chief; but what pleasure can you have in deceiAt love or cards -- provided that you

win.

ving them, and the world? for you are thought a [Exit. terrible young gentleman.

Daf. Why that pleasure, boohy!
SCENE II.-DAFFODILL's lodgings. Ruf. I don't understand it-What do you in-

tend to do with them all? Ruin them?
Enter DAFFODILL and RUFFLE.

Daf. Not I, faith. Daf. But are you sure, Ruffle, that you deli- kut. But you'll ruin their reputations ? vered the letter last night, in the manner I or- Daf. That's their business; not mine. dered you?

Ruf. Will you marry any one of them? Ruf. Exactly, sir.

Daf. O, no! that would be finishing the game Daf. And you are sure that Mr Dotterel saw at once. If I preferred one, the rest would take you slip the note into bis wite's hand?

it ill; so, because I won't be particular, I give Ruf. I have alarmed bim, and you may be as- them all hupes, without going a step further. red, that he is as uneasy as you would wish to Ruf. Widows can't live upon such slender have him. But I should be glad, with your ho- diet. Bour's leave, to bave a little serious conversa- Daf. A true sportsman has no pleasure but in tion with you; for my mind forebodes much pe- the chase; the game is always given to those ril to the bones of your humble servant, and who have less taste, and better stomachs. very little satisfaction to your honour.

Ruf. I love to pick a bit, I must confessDaf. Thou art a most incomprehensible block- Really, sir, I should not care what became of head

half the women you are pleased to be merry Ruf. No great scholar or wit, indeed; but I with—but, Miss Sophy, sure, is a heavenly creacan feel an oak sappling, as well as another ; ture, and deserves better treatinent; and to ay, and I should have felt one last night, if I had make love to her cousin, too, in the same house ! not had the beels of all Mr Dotterel's family-I that is very

cruel. had the whole pack after me

Daf. But it amuses one—besides they are Duf. And did not they catch you?

both fine creatures. And how do I know, if I Ruf. No, thank Heaven

loved only one, but the other might poison herDuf. You was not kicked, then?

self? Ruf No, sir.

Ruf. And when they know that you have loDat. Vor caued ?

ved them both, they may poison one another.Ruf. No, sir.

This affair will make a great noise. Duf. Nor dragged through a horse-pond? Duf. Or I have taken a great deal of pains Rut. O, lord ! No, sir.

for nothing. But no more prating, sirrah; Daf. That's unlucky

while I read my letters, go and ask Harry what Ruf. Sir!

cards and messages he has taken in this mornDaf. You must go again, Ruffe, to-night; per- ing. haps you may be in better luck.

Ruf. There's no mending him!
(Erit Ruffle.

Enter a Servant. Daf: (Opens letters.] This is from the widow Ser. An' please your honour, I forgot to tell Damply. I know her scrawl at a mile's dise you that there was a gentleman here last night. tance-she pretends that the fright of her hus. I've forgot his na:ne. band's death hurt her nerves so, that her hand Ruf. Old Mr Dotterel, perhaps? has shook ever since-ha, ha, ha! It has hurt Ser, Old ! no, no, he looks younger than his her spelling too, for here is joy with a G; ha, honour. I believe he's mad, he can't stand still ha! poor creature! [Reads.] Hum-hum-hum. moment; he first capered out of the chair, and Well said, widow; she speaks plain, faith, and when I told him your honour was not at home, grows urgent. I must get quit of her--she de- be capered into it again-said he would call sires a tete a téte; which, with widows, who have again, jabbered something, and away be went, suffered much for the loss of their husband, is, singing. as captain Bobadil says, a service of danger.- Daf. 'Tis the marquis of Maccaroni ; I saw Sn, I am off. [Opens another.] What the devil him at the King's Arms yesterday : Admit bim have we here! A bill in chancery: Oh, no! my when he comes, Harry. taylor's bill-Sum Total, three hundred and se- Ser. I shall, your honour-I can neither write venty-four pounds, cleven shillings, and five or remember these outlandish names. pence, three farthings. Indeed, Monsieur Chi

(Eril Servant. caneau, this is a damned bill, and you will be Daf. Where is my list of women, Rufile, and damned for making it; therefore, for the good the places of their abode, that we may strike off of your soul, Mons. Chicaneau, you must make some, and add the new acquisitions ? another. [Tears it.] The French know their Ruf. What, alter again!' I wrote it out fair but consequence, and use us accordingly. [Opens a- this morning - There are quicker successions in nother.] This is from Newmarket.

your honour's list, than the court-calendar.
(Reads. Daf. Strike off Mrs Dotterell, and the widow

Damply.
May it please your honour,

Ruf. They are undone.

[Strikes them out. I would not hare you think of matching * Cherry-Derry with Gingerbread; he is a terri

Enter Servant. ‘rible horse, and very covetous of his ground.'I have chopt Hurlotbrumbo for the Roan mare, Ser. A lady, Mr Ruffle, in a chair, must speak and tifty pounds. Sir Roger has taken the with you. match off your hands, which is a good thing ; Daf. Did she ask for me? See, Ruffle, who it ' for the mare has the distemper, and must have is.

[Enit. • forfeited. 1 flung bis honour's groom, though Ser. No, your bonour; but she looked quite

he was above an hour in the stable. The nut- Austrated. 'meg grey, Custard, is matched with Alderman. Daf. Well, go below, and be careful not to Alderman has a long wind, and will be too let any old gentleman in this morning; and, d'ye hard for Custard.

hear? if any of the neighbours should inquire

who the lady is, you may say it is a relation ;'I am, your honour's

and be sure smile, do you hear? when you tell • Most obedient servant, • Roger Whip.'

Ser. I shall, your honour-He, he, he, I am never melancholy.

[Erit. Whip is a genins, and a good servant. I have Daf. That fellow's a character. not as yet lost above a thousand pounds by my horses; but such luck can't always last.

Enter RUFFLE.
Enter RUFFLE, with cards.

Ruf. Sir, it is Mrs Dotterel; she has had a Ruf. There's the morning's cargo, sir. terribile quarrel with her husband about your

[Throws them down upon the table. letter, and has something to say of consequence Daf. Hev-day! I can't read them in a month; to you both-she must see you, she says. prithee, Rutile, set down my invitations from the Daf. I won't see her — Why would you say cards, according to their date, and let me see that I was at home You know I hate to be them to-morrow morning So much reading alone with them, and she's so violent ton would distract me.

Well, well, shew her up—This is so unRuf. And yet these are the only books that luckygentlemen read now-a-days.

kuf. He hates to see duns he never intends [Aside. to pay

(Erit RUFFLE

them so.

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