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By th’mess, an ay tack thee in hont, ay's rad- Gripe. I can hold no longer; the blows all fell dle ihe bones on thee ; ay's keeble thee to some upon my shoulders ! tune.

Sca. You can't tell me; they fell on mine: oh Me, sir? I don't understand you.

shoulders ! Why, thau'rt his mon, thaw hobble ; I'll snite Gripe. Yours? Oh my shoulders ! th' nues o' thee.

Sca. Peace! they're coming. Hold, hold, sir! what would you have with him?

In a hoarse seaman's voice. Why, I mun knock him down with my kibbo, Where is the dogI'll lay him on fore and the first baut to the grawnt, and then I mun aft, swinge him with a cat-o'-nine-tail

, keel-haul, beat him to pap, by thmess, and after ay mun and then hang him at the main-yard. cut off the lugs and naes on 'em, and ay wot, he'll

In broken French English. be a pretty swatley, fellre, buwt lugs and naes.

Why, truly, sir, I know not where he is; but he If dere be no more men in England, I vill kill went down ibat lane.

him; I vill put my rapier in his body. I vill This lone, sayn ye? Ays find him, by'r lady, give him two tree pushe in de gutte. an he be above grownt. So, he's gone; a damned Lancashire rascal !

Here Scapin acts a number of them together. Gripe. Oh, good Scapin! go on quickly. We must go this wayo the right hand ? no,

[Gripe pops in his head to th' left handlie close--search every where Scap. Hold; here's another.

by my salvation, I will kill the damned dogand

we do catch 'em, we'll tear 'em in pieces, and I In an Irish tone.

do hear he went thick way-no, straight for

ward. Hold, here is his man; where is your Doest thou hear, Sackman? I prithee whare master-Damn me, where ? In hell ? Speak. is that damned dog, Gripe ?

Hold, not so furiously—and you don't tell us Why, what's that to you? What know I? where he is, we'll murder thee

Il hut's that to me, joy? By my shoul, joy, I Do what you will, gentlemen, I know not. will lay a great blow upon thy pate, and the de- Lay him on thick ; thwack him soundly. vil take me, but I will make thee know whare he Hold, hold; do what you will, I will ne'er beis indeed, or I'll beat upon thee till thou dost tray my master. know, by my satration indeed.

Knock 'en down ; beat 'en soundly; to 'en, at I'll not be beaten.

'en, at 'en, atNow, the devil take me, I swear by him that [As he is going to strike, Gripe peeps out, made me, if thou dost not tell whare is Gripe, and Scapin takes to his heels. but I will beat thy father's child very much in- Gripe. Oh, dog, traitor, villain! Is this your deed!

plot? Would you have murdered me, rogue? What would you have me do? I cannot tell | Unheard of impudence ! where he is. But what would you have with bim?

Enter THRIFTY. What would I have with him? By my shoul, Oh, brother Thrifty! You come to see me loaden if I do see him, I will make murder upon him for with disgrace; the villain Scapin has, as I am my captain's sake,

cheated me of 2001. This beating Murder bim? He'll not be murdered.

brings all into my memory. If I do lay my eyes upon him, Gad I will put Thrifty. The impudent varlet has gulled me my sword into his bowels, the devil take me in- of the same sum. deed. What hast thou in that sack, joy? By Gripe. Nor was he content to take my money, my salvation, I will look into it!

but has abused me at that barbarous rate, that I But you shall not. What have you to do with am ashamed to tell it; but he shall pay for it seit ?

verely. By my soul, joy, I will put my rapier into it ! Thrifty. But this is not all, brother; one misGripe. Oh! Oh!

fortune is the forerunner of another: Just now I W'hat, it does grunt, by my salvation, the devil have received letters from London, that both our take me, I will see it indeed.

daughters have run away from their governesses, You shall not see my sack; I'll defend it with with two wild debauched young fellows, that they

fell in love with. Then I will make beat upon thy body; take that, joy, und that, and that, upon my soul, and

Enter Lucia and Clara. so I do take my leave, joy,

[Beats bim in the sack. Luc. Was ever so malicious impudence seen? A plague on him, he's gone; he's almost kil- Ha! Surely, if I mistake not, that should be my

sepsible now,

my life.


led me.

Cla. And the other mine, whom Scapin has ' blushing; but when we were a-bed, Lord ha' used thus.

mercy upon us !-but I'll no more. Luc. Bless us ! Returned, and we not know Lean. Is, then, my father reconciled to me? of it?

Gripe. Reconciled to thee! Why, I love thee Cla. What will they say to find us here? at my heart, man, at my heart; why, 'tis my broLuc. My dearest father, welcome to England.ther Thrifty's daughter, Mrs Lucy, whom I alThrifty. My daughter Luce?

ways designed for thy wife; and that's thy sister Luc. l'he same, sir.

Clara, married to Mr Octa, there. Gripe. My Clara here, too?

Lean. Octavian, are we then brothers ? There Cla. Yes, sir; and happy to see your safe ar- is nothing that I could have rather wished, after rival.

compleating of my happiness with my charming Thrifty. What strange destiny bas directed Lucia. this happiness to us?

Thrifty. Come, sir, hang up your compliments Enter OCTAVIAN.

in the hall at home; they are old, and out of fa

shion. Shift, go to the inn, and bespeak a supGripe. Hey-day!

per may cost more money than I have got to Thrifty. Oh, so ! I have a wife for you. pay for it, for I am resolved to run in debt to

Oct. Good father, all your propositions are night. vain; I must needs be free, and tell you I am Shift. I shall obey your commands, sir. engaged.

Thrifty. Then, d've hear, send out and musThrifty. Look you now: is not this very fine? ter up all the fiddlers, blind or not blind, drunk Now I have a mind to be merry, and to be or sober, in the town; let not so much as the friends with you, you'll not let me now, will roaster of tunes, with his cracked cymbal in a you? I tell you, Mr Gripe's daughter, here- case, escape you. Oct. I'll never marry Mr Gripe's daughter, sir, Gripe. Well

, what would I give now for the as long as I live: No, yonder's she that I must fellow that sings the song at my lord mayor's love, and can never entertain the thoughts of any feast: I myself would inake an epithalamium by other.

way of sonnet, and he should set a tune to it; Cla. Yes, Octavian, I have at last met with it was the prettiest he had last time. my father, and all our fears and troubles are at an end.

Enter SLY. Thrifty. Lo ye now, you would be wiser than Sly. Oh, gentlemen, here is the strangest accithe father that begot you, would you? Did not Ident fallen out! always say you should marry Mr Gripe's daugh- Thrifty. What's the matter? ter? But you do not know your sister Luce. Sly. Poor Scapin!

Oct. Unlocked for blessing! Why, she's my Gripe. Ha! Rogue, let him be hanged! I'll friend Leander's wife?

hang him myself. Thrifty. How? Leander's wife !

Sly. Oh, sir, that trouble you may spare; for, Gripe. What! My son Leander?

passing by a place where they were building, a Oct. Yes, sir; your son Leander,

great stone fell upon his head, and broke his skull Gripe. Indeed! Well, brother Thrifty, 'tis so, you may see his brains. true the boy was always a good-natured boy. Thrifty. Where is he? Well, now I am so overjoyed, that I could laugh Sly. Yonder he comes. till I shook my shoulders

, but that I dare not, Enter Scapin between two, his head wrapt up they are so sore. But look, here he comes.


linen, as if he had been wounded. Enter LEANDER.

Sca. Oh me! Oh me! Gentlemen, you see Lean. Sir, I beg your pardon; I find my mar- me, you see me in a sad condition, cut off like a riage is discovered; nor would I, indeed, have fower in the prime of my years; but yet I could longer concealed it; this is my wife, I must own not die, without the pardon of those I have wrong. ber.

ed; yes, gentlemen, I beseech you to forgive me Gripe. Brother Thrifty, did you ever see the all the injuries that I have done; but more espelike did you ever see the like? 'ha!

cially I beg of you, Mr Thrify, and my good masThrifty. Own her, quotha! Why, kiss her, kiss ter, Mr Gripe. her, man ; odsbodikins, when I was a young fel- Thrifty. For my part, I pardon thee freely; Dow, and was first married, I did nothing else for go, and die in peace. three months. O my conscience, I got my boy Sca. But 'tis you, sir, I have most offended, Octi, there, the first right, before the curtains by the inhuman bastinadoes whichwere quite drawn !

Gripe. Prithee, speak no more of it; I forgive Grupe. Well, 'tis his father's nown child. Just | thee, too. snn, brother, was it with me upon my wedding- Sca. 'Twas a most wicked insolence in me, that day; I could not look upon my dear without should, with vile crabtree, cudgel

Gripe. Pish! no more; I say I am satisfied. Sca. Oh me! I begin to faint again.

Sca. And now so near my death, 'tis an inex- Thrifty. Come, fie, brother! never let revenge pressible grief that I should dare to lift my hand employ your thoughts now; forgive him, forgive against

him without any condition. Gripe. Hold thy peace, or die quickly; I tell Gripe. A deuce on't, brother ! as I hope to be thee I have forgot all

saved, he beat me basely and scurvily, never stir Sca. Alas! How good a man you are! But, he did: but, since you will have it so, I do forsir, d’ye pardon me freely, and from the bottom give him. of your heart, those merciless drubs that, Thrifty. Now, then, let's to supper, and in our

Gripe. Prithee, speak no more of it; I for- mirth drown and forget all troubles. give thee freely; here's my hand upon't.

Sca. Ay, and let them carry me to the lower Sca. Oh, sir, how much your goodness re- end of the table; vives me!

Where, in my chair of state, I'll sit at ease, [Pulls off his cap:

And eat and drink, that I may die in peace. Gripe. How's that! Friend, take notice, I

(A dance.] pardon thee; but 'tis upon condition, that you

[Ereunt omnres: are sure to die.








Me GRIFFARD, brother to Me BARNARD. MARIAMNE, her daughter.
ERASTUS, in love with MariamNE,

MAWKIN, sister to JannO.

Lisetta, seroant to MARIAMNE,
JANNO, cousin to Mr BARNARD.
COLIN, sertant to MR BARNARD.
Charly, a little boy.
Sortant to ERASTUS.
Three Gentlemen, friends to DORANT.
A Cook, other Servants, c.

Scene-Normandy, in France



when you once get together, the devil himself is

not able to part ye; you will stay so long till you Enter Erastus and his man, with LISETTA, MA

are surprised, and what will become of us, then? RIAMNE's maid.

Ser. Why, then we shall be thrown out at the Lis. Once more I tell ye, sir, if you have any window, I suppose ? consideration in the world for her, you must be Lis. No; but I shall be turned out of doors. gone this minute.

Era. How unfortunate am I! these doors are Era. My dear Lisetta, let me but speak to open to all the world, and only shut to me. her; let me but see her only!

Lis. Because you come for a wife, and at our Lis. You may do what you will; hut not here, house we do not care for people that come for whilst you are in our house. I do believe she's wives. as impatient to see you, as you can be to see her; Ser. What would you have us come fur, child? bat

Lis. Any thing but wives; because they cannot Era. But why won't you give us that satisfac- be put off without portions. tion, then?

Ser. Portions ! No, no; never talk of portions; Lis. Because I know the consequence; for, my master nor I don't want portions; and, it

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he'd follow my advice, a regiment of fathers / gent to a miracle; and her favour, if well mashould not guard her.

naged, may turn to our advantage; and, could I Lis. What say you?

prevail upon myself to declare my passion to her, Ser. Why, if you'll contrive that my master i don't doubt but she'd join in our interest. may run away with your mistress, I don't much Era. Well, since we've notbing to fear from care, faith, if I run away with you.

her, and your brother, you know, is my intimate Lis. Don't you so, rogue's face ? But I hope to friend; you may, therefore, conceal me somebe better provided for.

where about the house for a few days. I'll creep Era. Hold your tongues. But where is Mari-into any hole. amne's brother? He is my bosom friend, and Ser. Ay; but who must have the care of bringwould be willing to serve me.

ing us victuals ?

Aside. Lis. I told you before, that he has been abroad Era. Thrust us into the cellar, or up into the a hunting, and we have not seen him these three garret : I don't care where it is, so that it be but days; he seldom lives at home, to avoid his fa- under the same roof with you. ther's ill humour; so that it is not your mistress Ser. But I don't say so, for that jade Lisetta only that our old covetous cuff teizes—there's will have the feeding of us, and I know what no body in the family but feels the effects of his kind of diet she keeps — I believe we shan't be ill humour-by his good will he would not suf-| like the fox in the fable; our bellies won't be so fer a creature to come within his doors, or eat at full but we shall be able to creep out at the same his table- -and, if there be but a rabbit extra-hole we got in at. ordinary for dinner, he thinks himself ruined for Era. Must I then be gone? Must I return to ever.

Paris? Era. Then, I find you pass your time vastly

Enter LISETTA. comfortably in this family!

Lis. Not so bad as you imagine, neither, per- Lis. Yes; that you must, and immediately, haps; for, thank Heaven, we have a mistress too, for here's my master coming in upon ye. that's as bountiful as he is stingy, one that will Era. What shall I do! let him say what he will, and yet does what she Lis. Begone this minute. will. But hark ! here's some body coming : it is Mar. Stay in the village 'till you hear from me; certainly he.

none of our family know that you are in it. Era. Can't you hide us somewhere?

Era. Shall I see you sometimes?
Lis. Here, here, get you in here as fast as you Mar. I have not time to answer you now.

Lis. Make haste, I say; are you bewitched ?
Ser. Thrust me in, too.

Era. Will you write to me?
(Puts them into the closet. Mar. I will if I can.

Lis. Begone, I say; is the devil in you?

[Thrusting Erastus and his servant out, Lis. O! is it you?

Come this way, your father's just stepping in Mar. So, Lisetta, where have you been? I've upon us.

(Ereunt. been looking for ye all over the house: Who are

SCENE II. thuse people in the garden with my mother-inJaw? I believe my father won't be very well

Enter Mr BARNARD beating Colin. pleased to see them there.

Mr Barn. Rogue ! rascal ! did not I comLis. And here's somebody else not far off, that, mand you? Did not I give you my orders, sirrah? I believe, your father won't be very well pleased Col. Why, you gave me orders to let no body with, neither. Come, sir, sir ! [Calls

. in ? and madain, her gives me orders to let every (ERASTUS, and his Servant, come out. body in why, the devil bimself can't please Mar. O Heavens !

[Cries out. you boath, I think. Lis. Come, lovers, I can allow you but a short Mr Barn. But, sirrah, you must obey my ore bout on't this time; you must do your work with ders, not hers. a jirk-one whisper, two sighs, and a kiss ; Col. Why, the gentlefolks asked for her; they make haste, I say, and I'll stand centry for ye in did not ask for you-—what do you make such the mean time.

[Erit Lis. a noise aboat? Mar. Do you know what you expose me to,

Mr Barn. For that reason, sirrah, you should Erastus? What do you mean?

not have let them in. Era. To die, madam ! since you receive me Col. Hold, sir; I'd rather see you angry than with so little pleasure.

her, that's true; for when you're angry, you have Mar. Consider what would become of me, if only the devil in ye, but when madam's in a pasmy father should see you here.

sion, she has the devil and bis dam both. Era. What would you have me do?

Mr Barn. You must mind what I say to you, Mar. Expect with patience some happy turn sirrah, and obey my orders. of affairs; my mother-in-law is kind and indul- Col. Ay, ay, measter; but let's not quarrel


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