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merly by flying into passions : besides, I have ced? I cannot bear to see him much longer in pawned my honour to Mrs Trippet, never to this condition; I shall discover myself. draw my sword again ; and, in her present condi
[ Aside to GAD-ABOUT. tion, to break my word might have fatal conse- Gad. Not before the end of the play: besiquences.
des, the more his pain now, the greater his pleaSharp. Pray, sir, don't excuse yourself; the-sure when relieved from it. young gentleman may be murdered by this time. Trip. Shall we return to our cards? I have a
Trip. Then my assistance will be of no service sans prendre here, and must insist you play it to bim; however-I'll go to oblige you, and look out. on at a distance.
Ladies. With all my heart ! Ars Trip. I shall certainly faint, Mr Trippet, Mel. Allons ,donc.—[ As the company goes outy if you draw.
SHARP pulls MELISSA by the sleeve.]
Sharp. Sir, sir ! Shall I beg leave to spea Enter Guttle, disordered, as from sleep.
with you? Pray, did you find a bank-note in
your way hither? Gat. What noise and confusion is this?
Mel. What, between here and Dover, do you Sharp. Sir, there's a man murdered in the mean? street.
Sharp. No, sir, within twenty or thirty yards Gut. Is that all? Zounds! I was afraid you of this house. had thrown the supper down-A plague of your Mel. You are drunk, fellow ! poise I shan't recover my stomach this half Sharp. I am undone, sir, but not drunk, I'll hour.
Mel. What is all this? Enter Gayless and GAD-ABOUT, with MELISSA Sharp. I'll tell you, sir : A little while ago, my in boy's clothes, dressed in the French manner. master sent me out to change a note of twenty
pounds; but I, unfortunately, hearing a noise in Gad. Well, but my dear Jemmy, you are not the street of, Damn-me, sir! and clashing of burt, sure?
swords, and Rascal, and Murder ! I runs up to Mel. A little with riding post only.
the place, and saw four men upon ore: and Gad. Mr Sharp alarmed us all with an ac- baving heard you was a mettlesome young count of your being set upon by four men; that gentleman, I immediately concluded it must be you had killed two, and was attacking the other you; so ran back to call my master; and when when he came away; and when we met you at I went to look for the note to change it, I the door, we were running to your rescue. found it gone, either stole or lost; and if I don't
Mel. I had a small rencounter with half a- get the money immediately, I shall certainly be dozen villains; but, finding me resolute, they turned out of my place, and lose my characwere wise enough to take to their heels: I be- terlieve I scratched some of thein.
Mel. I shall laugh in his face. [Aside.}-Oh, (Luying her hand to her sword. I'll speak to your master about it, and he will Sharp. His vanity has saved my credit. I forgive you, at my intercession. have a thought come into my head may prove to Sharp. Ah, sir, you don't know my master. our advantage, provided Monsieur's ignorance Alel. I'm very little acquainted with him; but bears any proportion to his impudence. [Aside. I have heard he's a very good-natured man.
Gud. Now my fright's over, let ine introduce Sharp. I have heard so too; but I have felt it you, my dear, to Mr Gayless. Sir, this is my otherwise : he has so much goud-nature, that'if I itephew.
could compound for one broken-head a day, I Gay. (Saluting her.] Sir, I shall be proud of should think myself very well off
. Four friendship
Mel. Are you serious, friend? Mel. I don't doubt but we shall be better ac- Sharp. Look'e, sir, I take you for a man of quainted in a little time.
honour; there is something in your face that is Gut, Prav, sir, what news in France?
generous, open, and masculine; you don't look Mel. Faith, sir, very little that I know of in like a foppish effeminate tell-tale; so I'll venture the political way: I had no tiine to spend ainong to trust you—See here, sir, (Shews his head.] the politicians. I was
these are the effects of my master's good-nature. Gay. Among the ladies, I suppose ?
Mel. Matchless impudence ! [Aside.]—Why Mel. Too much indeed. Faith, I have not do you live with hiin, then, after such usage? philosophy enough to resist their solicitations ; Sharp. He's worth a great deal of money ; you take me?
[To Gayless aside. and wben he's drunk, which is commonly once Gay. Yes, to be a most” incorrigible fop: a-day, he's very free, and will give me any thing: ’sdeath, this puppy's impertinence is an addition but I design to leave him when he's married, for to my misery
(Aside to SHARP. all that. Miel. Poor Gayless! to what shifts is he redu- Mel. Is he going to be married then?
Sharp. To-morrow, sir; and between you and company is in the next room, and must have gone I, he'll meet with his match, both for humour and without, had not you brought it. I'll draw a something else too.
table. I see you have brought a cloth with you; Mel . What! she drinks, too?
but you need not have done that, for we have a Sharp. Dainnably, sir; but mum-You must very good stock of linen—at the pawnbroker's. know this entertainment was designed for madam
[Aside. to-night; but she got so very gay after dinner, [Exit, and returns immediately, drazethat she could not walk out of her own house;
ing in a table. so her maid, who was half gone too, came here Come, come, my boys, be quick; the company with an excuse, that Mrs Melissa had got the began to be very uneasy; but I knew my old vapours : and so she bad indeed violently, here, friend. Lick-spit here would not fail us. here, sir.
(Pointing to his head. Cook. Lick-spit! I am no friend of your's; so Msel. This is scarcely to be borne. (Aside.)- I desire less familiarity: Lick-spit, too! Melissa! I have heard of her; they say she's very whimsical.
Enter GAYLESS, and stares. Sharp. A very woman, an't please your hon- Gay. What is all this? our; and, between you and I, none of the mildest Sharp. Sir, if the sight of the supper is offenand wisest of her sex-But to return, sir, to the sive, I can easily have it removed. twenty pounds.
(Aside to GAYLESS. Mel. I am surprised, you, who have got so Gay. Prithee, explain thyself, Sharp. much money in his service, should be at a loss Sharp. Some of our neighbours, I suppose, for twenty pound, to save your bones at this junc- have bespoke this supper; but the cook has drank ture.
away his memory, forgot the house, and brought Sharp. I have put all my money out at in- it here : however, sir, if you dislike it, I'll tell him terest; I never keep above five pounds by me; of his mistake, and send him about his business. and if your honour would lend me the other Gay. Hold, hold! necessity obliges me, against fifteen, and take my note for it
my inclination, to favour the cheat, and feast at
(Knocking. my neighbour's expence. Mel. Somebody's at the door.
Cook. Hark you, friend, is that your master? Sharp. I can give very good security.
Sharp. Ay; and the best master in the world.
Knocking. Cook. I'll speak to him then-sir, I have, acMel. Don't let the people wait, Mr.- cording to your commands, dressed as genteel a Sharp. Ten pounds will do. [Knocking. supper as my art and your price would admit of. Mel. Allez vous en.
Sharp. Good again, sir; 'tis paid for. Sharp. Five, sir. [Knocking
[ Aside to GAYLESS. Mel. Je ne puis pas.
Gay. I don't in the least question your abiSharp. Je ne puis pas !—I find we shan't un-lities, Mr Cook; and I'm obliged to you for your derstand one another; I do but lose time; and if care. I had any thought, I might have known these Cook. Sir, you are a gentleman-And if you young fops return from their travels generally would look but over the bill, and approre it, with as little money as improvement.
[Pulls out a bill.] you will, over and above, re
[Erit Sharp. turn the obligation. Mel. Ha, ha, ha! what lies does this fellow Sharp. Oh, the devil! invent, and what rogueries does he commit, for Gay. (Looking on a bill.] Very well, I'll send his master's service! There never, sure, was a my man to pay you to-morrow. more faithful servant to his master, or a greater Cook. I'll spare him the trouble, and take it rogue to the rest of mankind. But here he comes with me, sir-I never work but for ready moagain : the plot thickens; I'll in, and observe Gay- ney. less.
[Erit Melissa. Gay. Ha!
Sharp. Then you won't have our customEnter Sharp, before several persons, with dishes (Aside. My master is busy now, friend : Do in their hands, and a Cook drunk.
you think he won't pay you?
Sharp. 'Twill be very ill-convenient for him to
Cook. Then I'm afraid it will be ill-convenient
Enier MELISSA. supper bespoke here?
Gay. Prithee be advised : 'sdeath, I shall be Sharp. Yes, upon my honour, Mr Cook; the discovered !
(Takes the Cook aside.
Mel. (To SHARP.] What's the matter?
could not. Remember what I told you-about Sharp. The cook has not quite answered my it straight, sirmaster's expectations about the supper, sir, and Gay. Sir, sir-[TO MELISSA.-I beg to speak he's a little angry at him; that's all.
a word with you : my servant, sir, tells me he has Mel. Come, come, Mr Gayless, don't be un- had the inisfortune, sir, to lose a note of mine of easy; a batchelor cannot be supposed to have twenty pounds, which I sent him to receive-and things in the utmost regularity; we don't expect the bankers' shops being shut up, and having veit.
ry little cash by me, I should be much obliged to Cook. But I do expect it, and will have it. you if you would favour me with twenty pieces Mel. What does that drunken fool say?
till to-inorrow. Cook. That I will have my money, and I won't Mel. Oh, sir, with all my heart-[Taking out stay till to-morrow-and-and-
her purse.]--and as I have a small favour to beg Sharp. (Runs and stops his mouth.] Hold, hold! of you, sir, the obligation will be mutual. what are you doing? Are you inad?
Gay. How may I oblige you, sir?
Mel. Then you'll oblige me, sir, by never seecified; you are in liquor.
ing her again. Cook. I will bave my
Guy. Do you call this a small favour, sir? Sharp. (Holding still.] Why, I tell you, fool, Mel. A mere trifle, sir; breaking of contracts, you mistake the gentleman; he's a friend of my suing for divorces, committing adultery, and such master's, and has not said a word to you. Pray, like, are all reckoned trifles now-a-days : and good sir, go into the next room; the fellow's smart young fellows, like you and myself, Gaydrunk, and takes you for another.—You'll repentiess, should be never out of fashion. this when you are sober, friend.- Pray, sir, don't Gay. But, pray, sir, how are you concerned in stay to hear bis impertinence.
this affair? Gay. Pray, sir, walk in-He's below your an- Mel. Oh, sir, you must know I have a very ger.
great regard for Melissa, and indeed she for me: Mel. Damn the rascal! What does he mean and, by the by, I have a most despicable opinion by affronting me?-Let the scoundrel go; I'll of you; for, entre nous, I take you, Charles, to polish his brutality, I warrant you. Here's the be a very great scoundrel. best reformer of manners in the universe. [Draws
Gay. Sir! his sword.] Let him go, I say !
Mel. Nay, don't look fierce, sir, and give yourSharp. So, so, you have done finely now-Get self airs-Damme, sir, I shall be through your away as fast as you can; he's the most coura- body, else, in the snapping of a finger! geous, mettlesome man, in all England - Why, Gay. I'll be as quick as you, villain! if his passion was up, he could eat you—Make
[Draws, and makes at Melissa. Four escape, you fool.
Kit. Hold, hold ! murder ! You'll kill my misCook. I won't-eat me! he'll find me damned tress—the young gentleman, I mean. bard of digestion, though
Gay. Ah, her mistress !
[Drops his sword. you.
[They walk aside. Sharp. How! Melissa ! Nay, then, drive away
cart—all's Enter Kitty.
Enter all the company, laughing. Kitty. Gad's me! is supper on the table already! Sir, pray defer it for a few moments; iny Gud. What, Mr Gayless, engaging with Memistress is inuch better, and will be here imme- lissa before your time?' Ha, ha, ha! diately.
Kitty. Your humble servant, good Mr PolitiGay. Will she, indeed? Bless me !—I did not cian-[ To Sharp.)- This is, gentleinen and laexpect—but however~Sharp!
dies, the most celebrated and ingenious Timothy Kitty. What success, madam?
Sharp, schemer-general, and redoubted squire to
(Aside to MELISSA. the most renowned and fortunate adventurer, Alel. As we could wish, girl; but he is in such Charles Gayless, knight of the woeful countepain and perplexity, I can't hold it out much nance : ha, ha, ha! Oh, that dismial face, and longer.
more dismal head of yours ! kitty. Ay; that holding out is the ruin of half
[Strikes Suard upon the head. our sex.
Sharp. 'Tis cruel in you to disturb a man in Sharp. I have pacified the cook; and if his last agonies. can but borrow twenty pieces of that young prig, Mel. Now, Mr Gayless! What, not a word ? all may go well yet : you may succeed, though I You are sensible I can be 10 stranger to your VOL. III.
misfortunes; and I might reasonably expect an my thanks and gratitude-Kneeling, she raises excuse for your ill treatment of me.
him.)---for here 'tis only due. Gay. No, madam, silence is my only refuge ; Sharp. A reprieve ! A reprieve ! A reprieve ! for to endeavour to vindicate my crimes, would Kitty. I have been, sir, a most bitter enemy show a greater want of virtue than even the com- to you; but, since you are likely to be a little mission of them.
more conversant with cash than you have been, I Mel. Oh, Gayless ! 'twas poor to impose upon am now, with the greatest sincerity, your most a woman, and one that loved you, too!
obedient friend, and humble servant. And I Gay. Oh, most unpardonable! but my neces- hope, sir, all former enmity will be forgotten. sities
Gay. Oh, Mrs Pry, I have been too much inSharp. And mine, madam, were not to be dulged with forgivenness myself, not to forgive lesmatched, I'm sure, o' this side starving.
ser offences in other people. Mel. His tears have softened me at once- Sharp. Well, then, madam, since my master Your necessities, Mr Gayless, with such real con- has vouchsafed pardon to your handmaid Kitty, trition, are too powerful motives not to affect the Ihope you'll not deny it to his foot man Timobreast already prejudiced in your favour. You thy? have suffered too much already for your extrava- Mel. Pardon ! for what? gance; and as I take part in your sufferings, 'tis Sharp. Only for telling you about ten thousand easing myself to relieve you : Know, therefore, lies, madam; and, among the rest, insinuating all that's past I freely forgive.
that your ladyship wouldGay. You cannot mean it, sure? I am lost in Mel. I understand you; and can forgive any wonder!
thing, Sharp, that was designed for the service of Mel. Prepare yourself for more wonder—You your master : and if Pry and you will follow our have another friend in masquerade here. Mr example, I'll give her a small fortune as a reCook, pray throw aside your drunkenness, and ward for both your fidelities. make your sober appearance. Don't you know Sharp. I fancy, madam, 'twould be better to that face, sir?
halve the small fortune between us, and keep us Cook. Ay, master! what, have you forgot your both single; for as we shall live in the same friend Dick, as you used to call me?
house, in all probability we may taste the comGay. More wonder indeed! Don't you live forts of matrimony, and not be troubled with its with my father?
inconveniences—What say you, Kitty? Mel. Just after your hopeful servant, there, Kitty. Do you hear, Sharp? herore you talk had left me, comes this man from sir William of the comforts of matrimony, taste the comforts with a letter to me; upon which (being by that of a good dinner, and recover your flesh a little; wholly convinced of your necessitous condition) do, puppy. I invented, by the help of Kitty and Mrs Gad- Sharp. The devil backs her, that's certain ! about, this little plot, in which your friend Dick, and I am no match for her at any weapon. there, has acted iniracles, resolving to tease you Mel. And now, Mr Gayless, to show I have a little, that you might have a greater relish for a not provided for you by halves, let the music happy turn in your affairs. Now, sir, read that prepare themselves, and, with the approbation of letter, and complete your joy.
the company, we'll have a dance. Gay. (Reads. ]— Madam, I am father to the All. By all means a dance ! unfortunate young man, who, I hear, by a friend Gut. By all means a dance-after supper, of mine (that by my desire has been a continu- though. al spy upon him), is making his addresses to
Sharp. Oh, pray, sir, have supper first; or I'm you: if he is so happy as to make himself sure I shan't live till the dance is finished. agreeable to you (whose character I am charm- Gay. Behold, Melissa, as sincere a convert as ed with), I shall own him with joy for any son, ever truth and beauty made. The wild impeand forget his fornier follies.
tuous sallies of my youth are now blown over, *I am, madain,
and a most pleasing calın of perfect happiness • Your most humble servant, succeeds.
• William GAYLESS.' Thus Ætna's Aames the verdant carth cooP. S. I will be soon in town myself, to con- sume, gratulate his late reformation and marriage.? But milder heat makes drooping nature bloom;
So virtuous love affords us springing joy, Oh, Melissa, this is too much! Thus let me show Whilst vicious passions, as they burn, destroy.
SCENE I.- A street.
the particulars of your passion, that I may be the
better enabled to serve you. Enter Captain Lovers and Puff.
Cupt. You shall have them.
When I left the Capt. This is the place we were directed to; university, which is now seven months since, my and now, Puff, if I can get no intelligence of her, father, who loves his money better than his son, what will become of me?
and would not settle a farthing upon mePuff. And me too, sir !-- You must consider I Puff. Mine did so by me, siram a married man, and can't bear fatigue as I Capt. Purchased me a pair of colours at my bave done. But, pray, sir, why did you leave the own request; but before I joined the regiment, army so abruptly, and not give me time to fill which was going abroad, I took a ramble into my knapsack with common necessaries? Half a the country with a fellow-collegian, to see a redoren shirts, and your regimentals, are my whole lation of his who lived in Berkshirecargo.
Puff. A party of pleasure, I suppose ? Capt. I was wild to get away; and as soon as Capt. During a short stay there, I came acI obtained my leave of absence, I thought every quainted with this young creature: she was just moment an age till I returned to the place where I come from the boarding-school; and though she first saw this young, charming, innocent, bewitch-had all the simplicity of her age, and the couning creature.
try, yet it was mixed with such sensible vivacity, Puff With fifteen thousand pounds for her that I took fire at once. forturie-strong motives, I must confess. And Puff. I was tinder myself at your age. But Dow, sir, as you are pleased to say you must de- pray, sir, did you take fire before you knew of pend upon my care and abilities in this affair, 1 her fortune? think I have a just right to be acquainted with Capt. Before, upon my honour!