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is a wag.
And still presides,
O'er all my steps and passions:
No courtly leer, Ser. Sir, one squire Sapskull, out of York
But all sincere, shire, desires to speak with you.
No bribe shall ever blind me; Muck. I am glad he's come—desire him to
If you can like walk in.
A Yorkshire tike,
LOVE, dressed in SAPSKULL's clothes.
Though Envy's tongue, Muckworm?
With slander hung, Muck. Sir, I have no other; may I crave
Does oft bely our county ; yours?
No men on earth, Gay. Samuel Sapskull, jun. esq. your
Boast greater worth, ship's service.
Or more extend their bounty: Muck. A very mannerly, towardly youth, and
Our northern breeze, a compely one, I assure you. [ To Arbella.
With us agrees, Gay. Pray, sir, an' I may be so bold, which of And does for business fit us; these two pretty lasses is your niece, and my
In public cares, wife, that mun be?
In love's affairs, Ar. What a brute is this? Before I would With honour we acquit us. have such a wretch for a husband, I would die ten thousand deaths.
A noble mind, Muck. Which do you like best, sir?
Is ne'er contined Gay. Marry, an' I were to chuse, I would take To any shire, or nation; thein both.
He gains most praise, Muck. Very courtly, indeed. I see the squire
Who best displays
A generous education. Comb. Both ! i'll assure you, sauce-box ! the
While rancour rouls, worst is too good for you.
In narrow souls,
By narrow views discerning,
The truly wise
Will only prize
[All this time Gaylove does his utmost to If bere you should wed you are certainly bit,
discover himself to ARBELLA, but she As the dew it flies over the mulberry tree.
turns from him, and won't understand If such a fine lady to wife you should take, Gilly-Aower, gentle rosemary:
Gay. Well, an ye wunna see, I cannot help it. Your heart, head, and horns, shall as certainly Go »d-bye to ye, forsooth; in the mean time, here's ake,
a paper with something in it that will clear your As the dew it lies over the mulberry tree. ladyship's eye-sight.
[Throws down a letter, and exit smiling, Muck. Insufferable assurance ! affront a gen- Ar. What can the fool meau ? tleman in my house ! Never mind her, sir; she's Comb. [Taking up the letter.) Madain, as I none of my niece; only a pert slut of a chamber- live, here's a letter from Mr Gaylove! maid.
År. This is surprising. (Snatches the letter, and Gay. A chamber-jade!-Lord, Lord, how reads.] • Though this disguise is put on to blind brave you keep your maidens here in London ! old Muckworm, I hope it will not conceal from Wups-lent, she's as fine as our lady mayoress. my dear Arbella, the person of her ever constant Muck. Ay, her mistress spoils her; but fol
· GAYLove.' low me, sir, and I'll warrant you, we'll manage her, and her mistress, too.
Blind fool that I was ! I could tear my cyes out!
Comb. Lord, inadain! who the deuce could have AIR.-Set by the author.
thought it had been Mr Gaylove?
Ar. Hold your prattle! I have great hopes of Gay. I am in truth,
this enterprize, however; it carries a good face A country youth,
with it; but, whether it succeeds or no, I must Unused to London fashions:
love the dear man, that ventures so hard for my Yet virtue guides,
sake. VOL. III.
AIR.-Set by the author.
SCENE VI.-An apartment. That man, who best can danger dare, SLANGO representing ARBELLA, Servant introIs most deserving of the fair;
ducing SAPSKULL and BLUNDER. The bold and brave we women prize; The whining slave we all despise.
Sap. Well, forsooth, you know my business; few words are best among friends
- Is it a Let coxcombs flatter, cringe, and lie, match, or no? Say ay, and I'll second you. Pretend to languish, pine, and die;
Slango. A very compendious way of wooing, Such men of words my scoru shall be ; truly-Aside.]–Í hope you'll spare a maiden's The man of deeds is the man for me. blushes, sir; but, Lard Gad! you are too quick
[Erit. upon me! Comb. My mistress is entirely in the right on’t. Sap. I means to be quicker yet, ay marry, and
make thee quick, too, before I ha' done with AIR.— I had a pretty lass, a tenant of my own. thee.
Slango. I protest, sir, you put me to such a The man that ventures fairest,
nonplus, I don't know what to say. And furthest for my sake,
Sap. Ne'er heed ; parson shall teach thee what With a fal, lal, la, &c.
to say. For my part, I ha' con'd my lesson afore
band. The soonest of my purse,
Slango. But will you love me?
Sap. Love thee ! Lord, Lord, I loves thee bet-
ter than I does my bay filly! did you ne'er see.
her, forsooth? Od, she's a dainty tit, and sure I No drowsy drone shall ever
-I loves her better nor I do nown father. A conquest make of me,
Blunder, run and fetch a parson. But to a lad that's clever,
Slango. Mr Blunder may save himself that How civil could I be?
trouble, sir; I have provided one already. With a fal, lal, la, &c.
Sap. Why, then, let's make haste, dear sweet [Erit Comb. honey; for I long till it's over. (Ereunt. SCENE V.
Enter GAYLOVE and ARBELLA. up, and powdered behind.
AIR.-Set by the author. Blun. Mess, master, how fine ye be! marry, believe me, an ye were at Sapskull-ball, I dare Gay. Thou only darling I admire, say, sir Samuel himself would hardly know ye. My heart's delight, my soul's desire !
Sap. Kuow me! marry, I don't know myself Possessing thee, I've greater store, --[Surveying himself.]—I'm so fine: And thou Than king to be of India's shore. art quite another sort of a creature, too.—[Turns BLUNDER about.-Well, talk what ye list of For every woman were there three, Yorkshire, I say there's nought like London ; for And in the world no man but me, my part, I doni care an I ne'er see the face of I'd single you from all the rest, Sapskull-hall agen.
To sweeten life, and make me blest ! Blund. What need ye, an ye getten 6000l. with young gentlewoman? besides, rather has Ar. Well, I never was so deceived in life! ty'd estate fast enough to ye.- -An I were as How could you clown it so naturally? ye, I'd e'en bide here, and live as lofty as the Gay. What is it I would not do for your dear best o' 'em.
sake ? But, I intreat you, let's lay hold of this
opportunity, and put it out of fortune's power Enter a Servant, well dressed.
ever to divide us.
Ar. What would you have me do? Ser. Gentlemen, I come from sir Penurious Gay. Leave all to me. I have left Combrush Muckworm. I am his servant, and wait on pur- to amuse your uncle, while a fellow-collegiate of pose to conduct you to Mrs Arbella's apartment. mine, who is in orders, waits in the next room Sap. Servant! Waunds, why, you're finer nor to finish the rest.
Ar. Do what you will with me: For, in short, Ser. O, sir, that's nothing in London. [Ereunt. I don't know what to do with myself.
AIR.-- The nymph that undoes me.
But such contraries in a bed,
Would be a monstrous shame : Arb. Let prudes and coquettes their intentions To see a lady bright and gay, conceal;
Of fortune, and of charms,
Into a looby's arms.
It set them on a plot;
The gentleman disguised himself
Deceived the old inigchievous elf,
And got his heart's desire.
Muck. I don't like this song.
Comb. Then you don't like truth, sir.
Muck. What! d'ye mean to affront me?
Comb. Would you have me tell a lie, sir? How transporting is the pleasure,
Muck. Get out of my house, you baggage ! When two hearts like our's unite ! Comb. I only stay to take my mistress with When our fondness knows no measure, me; and see, here she comes. And no bounds our dear delight.
Enter GAYLOVE and ARBELLA.
Muck. So, sir; you have deceived me: but Enter MUCKWORM and COMBRUSH. I'll provide you a wedding-suit; a fine long Chan
cery suit, before ever you touch a penny of her Muck. Well, I forgive you : This last action fortune. has made amends for all. I find a chamber- Gay. Sir, if you dare embezzle a farthing, I'll maid is prime minister in matrimonial affairs provide you with a more lasting garment; a cu-And you say, they are quite loving?
rious stone doublet: You have met with your Comb. Fond, fond, sir, as two turtles ! But Imatch, sir; I have studied the law, ay, and pracbeg you would not disturb them.
tised it too. Muck. By no means; let them have their love Muck. The devil take you and the law togeout, pretty fools! I shall be glad, however, to ther! see some of their little fondnesses : But tell me seriously, how do you like the 'squire ?
Enter SAPSKULL, Slango, and BLUNDER. Comb. Oh! of all things, sir; and so does my Hey-day! Who in the name of wonder have we mistress, I assure you.
Muck. How that scoundrel Gaylove will be Gay. Only squire Sapskull, his bride, and boodisappointed.
bily man. Comb. He'll be ready to hang himself-about Slang. Come, my dear! hold up your head her neck.
[Aside. like a man, and let them see what an elegant Muck. They'll make ballads upon him. husband I have got.
Comb. I have made one already, and will sing Blun. Ay; and let them see what a dainty it if you please.
wife my master has gotten. NÍuck. With all my heart.
Sap. Here's a power of fine folk, sweet honey
wife ! pray, who may they be? AIR.- A beggar got a beadle.
Slang. This, sir, is sir Penurious Muckworni.
Sap. No, honey! I fear you are mistaken. There was a certain usurer,
Sir Penurious is another guise sort of a man; He had a pretty niece,
an I mistake not, he's more liker yon same genWas courted by a barrister,
tleman, Who was her doating piece.
Blun. Ay, so he is, master. Her uncle, to prevent the same,
Slang. That same gentleman was sir PenuDid all that in him lay;
rious Muckworm some time ago, but now he's For which he's very much to blame, changed to George Gaylove, esquire. As all good people say.
Gay. At your service, sir.
Sap. And who's yon fine lady? A country'squire was to wed
Gay. My wife, sir, and that worthy knight's This fair and dainty dame;
Sap. Your wife, and that worthy knight's niece? Sap. What mun I do? I mun ne'er see father's why, who a murrain have I gotten, then? face again.
Gay. My man, Slango; and I wish you much Gay. Never fear, squire; I'll set alt to rights; joy!
though your father's my enemy, I'm not yours : Sap. Your man Slango! what, have I married My house shall be your home, till I have recona man, then ?
ciled you to vour father; and, for the honour of Slango. If you don't like me, my dear, we'll Yorkshire, I'll see you shan't be abused here. be divorced this minute.
Sap. Say ye so, sir ? then I wish you much joy Sap. My dear! a murrain take such dears! with all my heart ! Where's my writings? I'll ha' you all hanged for Blun. Ay, and so does Blunder, too. cheats!
Sap. Well, sin I see you be so happy in a wife, Gay. You had better hang yourself for a fool. I'll not be long without
assure you. Go home, child, go home, and learn more wit. Gay. You can't be happier than I wish you. There's your deed of a settlement; but, as for the writings, they happen to be mine, and kept frau
AIR.-Set by the author. dulently from me by your father, to whom they were mortgaged by my late brother. The estate has been clear these three years. Send your father to me, and I'll talk to him. This is tit for Gay. Come learn by this, ye bachelors, tat, young gentleman! Your father wanted to
Who lead unsettled lives, get my estate from me, and I have got the wife When once ye come to serious thought, he intended for you. All's fair, sir.
There's nothing like good wives. Muck. I say all's foul, and a damned cheat! and so I'll make it
appear. [Exit in a rage. Ar. Come learn by this, ye maidens fair,Gay. Do your worst, sir; you can't unmarry
Say I advise you well,
Than leading apes in hell.
A batchelor's a cormorant, Ar. Now fortune is past its severest,
A batchelor's a drone, My passion, of mortal's sincerest,
He eats and drinks at
But seldom at his own.
At marriage rail and lower,
So when the fox could'n't reach the grapes, So faithful a fondness we'll show.
He cried, they all were sour.
Omnes. Old maids, &c,
Both. By Cupid and Hymen united,
By danger no longer affrighted,
The greatest of blessings below.
SCENE I.-Sherwood Forest.
vines lose us in dark mysteries; lawyers in dark
cases; and statesmen in dark intrigues. Nay, Enter sederal Courtiers, as lost.
the light of reason, which we so much boast of, 1st Cour. 'Tis horrid dark! and this wood, I what is it but a dark lanthorn, which just serves believe, bas neither end nor side.
to prevent us from running our nose against a 4th Cour. You mean to get out at, for we have post, perhaps; but is no more able to lead us out found one in, you see.
of the dark mists of error and ignorance, in which 2d Cour. I wish our good king Harry had kept we are lost, than an ignis fatuus would be to Dearer home to hunt; in my mind, the pretty conduct us out of this wood. tame deer in London make much better sport 1st Cour. But, my lord, this is no time for than the wild ones in Sherwood forest.
preaching, methinks. And, for all your morals, Sd Cour. I can't tell which way his majesty day-light would be much preferable to this darkwent, nor whither any body is with him or not;
ness, I believe. but let us keep together, pray.
3d Cour. Indeed would it. But come, let us 4th Cour. Ay, ay, like true courtiers, take care go on; we shall find some house or other by and of ourselves, whatever becomes of our master. by. 2d Cour. Well, it's a terrible thing to be lust 4th Cour. Come along.
[Exeunt. in the dark. 4th Cour. It is. And yet it's so common a
Enter the King. case, that one would not think it should be at all King. No, no; this can be no public road, 5. Why we are all of us lost in the dark every that's certain : I am lost, quite lost indeed. Of day of our lives. Knaves keep us in the dark by what advantage is it now to be a king? Night their cunning, and fools by their ignorance. Di- shews me no respect : I cannot see better, nor