Enter a Servant. Ser. Sir, one squire Sapskull, out of Yorkshire, desires to speak with you. Muck. I am glad he's come-desire him to walk in. [Servant goes out, and returns with GAYLOVE, dressed in SAPSKULL's clothes. Gay. Sir, an' your name be sir Penurious Muckworm? Muck. Sir, I have no other; may I crave yours? Gay. Samuel Sapskull, jun. esq. at your lordship's service. Muck. A very mannerly, towardly youth, and a comely one, I assure you. [TO ARBELLA. Gay. Pray, sir, an' I may be so bold, which of these two pretty lasses is your niece, and my wife, that mun be? Ar. What a brute is this? Before I would have such a wretch for a husband, I would die ten thousand deaths. Muck. Which do you like best, sir? Gay. Marry, an' I were to chuse, I would take them both. Muck. Very courtly, indeed. I see the squire is a wag. Comb. Both! I'll assure you, sauce-box! the worst is too good for you. AIR.-Gilly-flower, gentle rosemary. Why how now, sir Clown, dost set up for a wit? Gilly-flower, gentle rosemary : If here you should wed you are certainly bit, If such a fine lady to wife you should take, Your heart, head, and horns, shall as certainly As the dew it flies over the mulberry tree. Muck. Insufferable assurance! affront a gentleman in my house! Never mind her, sir; she's [All this time GAYLOVE does his utmost to discover himself to ARBELLA, but she turns from him, and won't understand him.] Gay. Well, an ye wunna see, I cannot help it. God-bye to ye, forsooth; in the mean time, here's a paper with something in it that will clear your ladyship's eye-sight. [Throws down a letter, and exit smiling. Ar. What can the fool mean? Comb. [Taking up the letter.] Madam, as I none of my niece; only a pert slut of a chamber-live, here's a letter from Mr Gaylove! maid. Gay. A chamber-jade!Lord, Lord, how brave you keep your maidens here in London! Wuns-lent, she's as fine as our lady mayoress. Muck. Ay, her mistress spoils her; but follow me, sir, and I'll warrant you, we'll manage her, and her mistress, too. AIR.-Set by the author. Gay. I am in truth, A country youth, VOL. III. Ar. This is surprising. [Snatches the letter, and reads.] Though this disguise is put on to blind old Muckworm, I hope it will not conceal from 'my dear Arbella, the person of her ever constant 'GAYLOVE.' Blind fool that I was! I could tear my eyes out! Comb. Lord, madam! who the deuce could have thought it had been Mr Gaylove? Ar. Hold your prattle! I have great hopes of this enterprize, however; it carries a good face with it; but, whether it succeeds or no, I must love the dear man, that ventures so hard for my sake. N AIR.-Set by the author. That man, who best can danger dare, Let coxcombs flatter, cringe, and lie, [Exit. Comb. My mistress is entirely in the right on't. AIR.-I had a pretty lass, a tenant of my own. The man that ventures fairest, The soonest of my purse, No drowsy drone shall ever With a fal, lal, la, &c. SCENE V. SCENE VI.-An apartment. SLANGO representing ARBELLA, Servant introducing SAPSKULL and BLUNDER. Sap. Well, forsooth, you know my business; few words are best among friends- -Is it a match, or no? Say ay, and I'll second you. Slango. A very compendious way of wooing, truly-Aside.]-I hope you'll spare a maiden's blushes, sir; but, Lard Gad! you are too quick upon me! Sap. I means to be quicker yet, ay marry, and make thee quick, too, before I ha' done with thee. Slango. I protest, sir, you put me to such a nonplus, I don't know what to say. Sap. Ne'er heed; parson shall teach thee what to say. For my part, I ha' con'd my lesson aforehand. Slango. But will you love me? Sap. Love thee! Lord, Lord, I loves thee better than I does my bay filly! did you ne'er see her, forsooth? Od, she's a dainty tit, and sure I am- -I loves her better nor I do nown father. Blunder, run and fetch a parson. Slango. Mr Blunder may save himself that trouble, sir; I have provided one already. Sap. Why, then, let's make haste, dear sweet [Exit COMB. honey; for I long till it's over. [Exeunt. Enter SAPSKULL, drest a-la-mode de petit maitre, BLUNDER in a rich livery, with his hair tucked up, and powdered behind. Blun. Mess, master, how fine ye be! marry, believe me, an ye were at Sapskull-ball, I dare say, sir Samuel himself would hardly know ye. Sap. Know me! marry, I don't know myself -[Surveying himself.]-I'm so fine: And thou art quite another sort of a creature, too.-[Turns BLUNDER about.]-Well, talk what ye list of Yorkshire, I say there's nought like London; for my part, I dont care an I ne'er see the face of Sapskull-hall agen. Blund. What need ye, an ye getten 60001. with young gentlewoman? besides, rather has ty'd estate fast enough to ye.- -An I were as ye, I'd e'en bide here, and live as lofty as the best o' 'em. Enter a Servant, well dressed. Ser. Gentlemen, I come from sir Penurious Muckworm. I am his servant, and wait on purpose to conduct you to Mrs Arbella's apartment. Sap. Servant! Waunds, why, you're finer nor your master! Ser. O, sir, that's nothing in London. [Exeunt. SCENE VII. Enter GAYLOVE and ARBella. AIR.-Set by the author. Gay. Thou only darling I admire, My heart's delight, my soul's desire! For every woman were there three, To sweeten life, and make me blest! Ar. Well, I never was so deceived in my life! How could you clown it so naturally? Gay. What is it I would not do for your dear sake? But, I intreat you, let's lay hold of this opportunity, and put it out of fortune's power ever to divide us. Ar. What would you have me do? Gay. Leave all to me. I have left Combrush to amuse your uncle, while a fellow-collegiate of mine, who is in orders, waits in the next room to finish the rest. Ar. Do what you will with me: For, in short, I don't know what to do with myself. Muck. Well, I forgive you: This last action has made amends for all. I find a chambermaid is prime minister in matrimonial affairs And you say, they are quite loving? Comb. Fond, fond, sir, as two turtles! But I beg you would not disturb them. Muck. By no means; let them have their love out, pretty fools! I shall be glad, however, to see some of their little fondnesses: But tell me seriously, how do you like the 'squire ? Comb. Oh! of all things, sir; and so does my mistress, I assure you. Muck. How that scoundrel Gaylove will be disappointed. Comb. He'll be ready to hang himself-about her neck. [Aside. Muck. They'll make ballads upon him. Comb. I have made one already, and will sing it if you please. Muck. With all my heart. AIR-A beggar got a beadle. There was a certain usurer, He had a pretty niece, Was courted by a barrister, Who was her doating piece. Her uncle, to prevent the same, Did all that in him lay; For which he's very much to blame, A country 'squire was to wed Would be a monstrous shame : To see a lady bright and gay, Of fortune, and of charms, The lovers, thus distracted, And Shall I tell you what? The gentleman disguised himself Like to the country 'squire, Deceived the old mischievous elf, And got his heart's desire. Muck. I don't like this song. Comb. Then you don't like truth, sir. Muck. What! d'ye mean to affront me? Comb. Would you have me tell a lie, sir? Muck. Get out of my house, you baggage! Comb. I only stay to take my mistress with me; and see, here she comes. Enter GAYLOVE and ARBELLA. Muck. So, sir; you have deceived me: but I'll provide you a wedding-suit; a fine long Chancery suit, before ever you touch a penny of her fortune. Gay. Sir, if you dare embezzle a farthing, I'll provide you with a more lasting garment; a curious stone doublet: You have met with your match, sir; I have studied the law, ay, and praçtised it too. Muck. The devil take you and the law toge ther! Enter SAPSKULL, SLANGO, and BLunder. Hey-day! Who in the name of wonder have we got here? Gay. Only squire Sapskull, his bride, and boobily man. Slang. Come, my dear! hold up your head like a man, and let them see what an elegant husband I have got. Blun. Ay; and let them see what a dainty wife my master has gotten. Sap. Here's a power of fine folk, sweet honey wife! pray, who may they be? Slang. This, sir, is sir Penurious Muckworm. Sup. No, honey! I fear you are mistaken. Sir Penurious is another guise sort of a man; an I mistake not, he's more liker yon same gentleman. Blun. Ay, so he is, master. Slang. That same gentleman was sir Penurious Muckworm some time ago, but now he's changed to George Gaylove, esquire. Gay. At your service, sir. Sap. And who's yon fine lady? Gay. My wife, sir, and that worthy knight's niece. Sap. Your wife, and that worthy knight's niece? why, who a murrain have I gotten, then? Gay. My man, Slango; and I wish you much joy! Sap. Your man Slango! what, have I married a man, then? Slango. If you don't like me, my dear, we'll be divorced this minute. Sap. My dear! a murrain take such dears! Where's my writings? I'll ha' you all hanged for cheats! Gay. You had better hang yourself for a fool. Go home, child, go home, and learn more wit. There's your deed of a settlement; but, as for the writings, they happen to be mine, and kept fraudulently from me by your father, to whom they were mortgaged by my late brother. The estate has been clear these three years. Send your father to me, and I'll talk to him. This is tit for tat, young gentleman! Your father wanted to get my estate from me, and I have got the wife he intended for you. All's fair, sir. Sap. What mun I do? I mun ne'er see father's face again. Gay. Never fear, squire; I'll set all to rights; though your father's my enemy, I'm not yours: My house shall be your home, till I have reconciled you to your father; and, for the honour of Yorkshire, I'll see you shan't be abused here. Sap. Say ye so, sir? then I wish you much joy with all my heart! Blun. Ay, and so does Blunder, too. Sap. Well, sin I see you be so happy in a wife, I'll not be long without one, I assure you. Gay. You can't be happier than I wish you. Gay. AIR-Set by the author. CHORUS. Come learn by this, ye bachelors, Who lead unsettled lives, When once ye come to serious thought, Come learn by this, ye maidens fair, - You're better in a husband's arms, Sap. A batchelor's a cormorant, He eats and drinks at all men's cost, Comb. Old maids and fusty batchelors, So when the fox could'n't reach the grapes, Omnes. Old maids, &c, [Exeunt omnes. Enter several Courtiers, as lost. 1st Cour. 'Tis horrid dark! and this wood, I believe, has neither end nor side. 4th Cour. You mean to get out at, for we have found one in, you see. 2d Cour. I wish our good king Harry had kept nearer home to hunt; in my mind, the pretty tame deer in London make much better sport than the wild ones in Sherwood forest. vines lose us in dark mysteries; lawyers in dark cases; and statesmen in dark intrigues. Nay, the light of reason, which we so much boast of, what is it but a dark lanthorn, which just serves to prevent us from running our nose against a post, perhaps; but is no more able to lead us out of the dark mists of error and ignorance, in which we are lost, than an ignis fatuus would be to conduct us out of this wood. 1st Cour. But, my lord, this is no time for preaching, methinks. And, for all your morals, 3d Cour. I can't tell which way his majestyday-light would be much preferable to this darkwent, nor whither any body is with him or not; but let us keep together, pray. 4th Cour. Ay, ay, like true courtiers, take care of ourselves, whatever becomes of our master. 2d Cour. Well, it's a terrible thing to be lost in the dark. 4th Cour. It is. And yet it's so common a case, that one would not think it should be at all so. Why we are all of us lost in the dark every day of our lives. Knaves keep us in the dark by their cunning, and fools by their ignorance. Di ness, I believe. 3d Cour. Indeed would it. But come, let us go on; we shall find some house or other by and by. [Exeunt. 4th Cour. Come along. Enter the KING. King. No, no; this can be no public road, that's certain: I am lost, quite lost indeed. Of what advantage is it now to be a king? Night shews me no respect: I cannot see better, nor |