CHAPTER VI. You may train the eagle To stoop to your fist; Tin; pbenix of the east; To give o'er her prey; He will find out his way. . -piect.s Reliqta "Ha! Why what the devil is all this?" was the gentlemanly salutation of Dr. Henry Smith, as he waddled up to my bed's side. "Here, I've just been visiting a little girl, who has gone stark mad with dreaming oi bloody men and bandages, and now I find you on your back again, the very fulfilment of the vision! By the pestle of Paracelsus !' thou art the man!'" "O! is Beatriz ill?" "O! is Beatriz ill?" whined the Doctor, with a mimickry so ludicrous that I was almost forced to Jaug"' "So! thou art the man indeed! Why—thou must be a compound of more philtres and love-charms than figure in the Idylls of Theocritus! Polyphemus would ha« pounded thee in a mortar, and drunk thy extract at a dose!" "G—! you'll drive me mad!" "Mad! Egad! the devil, or something else, has done that already. Why, thou spawn of Venus! twin tadpole of blind Cupid! thou Eros and Anteros combined m thf person of one little Englishman! Surely, thou wast dropped in the dog-star,— there fashioned for the us* ° breeches by a supplement of legs,— then dandle Jon the paps of Aphrodite, diapered with plaisters of Sps° flies, and didst suck eringoes for thy nourishment! O, let me embrace thee, thou wonderful conception! thou fiery little demigod! This was carrying the burlesque rather too far, I thought. "You forget, sir, that I am wounded. I thought I sent for a surgeon, or physician, not a buffoon." "They are all of one species, I believe, sir," answered the Doctor gravely.— Come, I beg your pardon, Jerry. We will now look to your case. Here, Juan, bring the light a little nearer." "Stay. First, tell me, Smith,—is Beatriz indeed so ill?" "Why, what the devil should I know about your Beatrizes!—Nay, man, if you are so touchy, I must tell you at once, to prevent inflammation of your wound.— This lady, then,—whatever may be your concern with her,— this Beatriz, whose name you lisp so dolefully, the sole daughter and heir of that magnificent personage, Don Cesar-Rolando Sublimidad de Zancos, was lately suffering under a fit of hysterics, but now, by the timely application of vinegar, etc., from the hands of Henry Smith, M. D. (Morborum Decurio,) is doing as well as her hot blood will let her,—said Smith having left her quite in cucumber order." "I should think, Dr. Smith, that friendship, not to say common decency, might teach you not to trifle thus with my feelings. I don't see any thing, sir, to make you so extremely pleasant." "Nor I.either, Jerry,—except it be joy that my friend is once more about to part with his fat to line a petticoat. But really, my dear Levis, the truth is this :— Your messenger, after hunting for me through half the town, comes to Don Cesar's, all blowing and sweating, and begs me for the love of God to hasten to your aid. Knowing you are not quite such a fool, as to send for the doctor because your head aches, or your bowels are musical, I am seriously alarmed, and run hither as though this puncheon belly of mine were nothing but a quarter-cask, expecting to be sure to find you in your last agonies,—and, behold! this mighty danger turns out to be a miserable little scratch, caught in some love frolic! for, let me tell you, my frowning friend, that, were the wound of any importance, (that is, supposing these bandages mark the spot,) you would have bled to death by this time, or, at least, be not quite so anxious about Miss Beatriz. Fsha! I don't believe there's any necessity for removing these rags,—it will soon scar over, take my word for it." "You may laugh, if you please, Dr. Smith ;—' He jests at scars, that never felt a wound;'— but my servant can tell you, that, at first, I was so deadly sick he was obliged to support me in his arms; and now,'besides the soreness of the hurt itself, I feel as though all strength were taken from me." "O, the suddenness of the injury made you sick at first. —and'so I have known a man to throw up all his dinner from being struck in his soup tureen; and as for your weakness — look at your clothes,— do you think any man can lose so much blood without losing strength? though, I know, most doctors think differently.— However, we'll now go to work, without any more talk about the matter. Here, Juan,—bring the light again. There; hold it at my right hand. Blockhead! I didn't tell you to stick it under my nose,—it's red enough, without your setting fire to it.— So. There !— there! Why, the devil, Juan! did you tie these handkerchiefs on? Where did you learn the art, heh ?—By the turbanned head of Avicenna, they're put on as well as I could do it myself!— beautiful! it's almost a pity to take them off. So. Here, take hold of this end. There — easy, easy — ah! Now let's examine it Blood and wounds, Jeny! what a lucky dog you are! You've had a most beautiful escape;— it's really a pleasure to look at such a stab. Here's a hole running, to, a depth of some five or six inches, on the safe side of the ribs, W11 avoiding every part of importance as nicely as if the road had been measured out! I swear I don't believe it varies a hair's breadth from a right line, except according to the shape of the weapon! Just as if Death had thought of foraging in the fields of your vitals, and then had changed his mind and sneaked along the hedge! Take comfort to yourself, Jeremy Levis, you were not born to die by a dirk, whatever other agent of four letters may give you your quietus." "Doctor Smith," I exclaimed, quite angry at the indifference with which he spoke of my injury,—" I have always thought you, sir, a man of some feeling, notwithstanding your roughness, and, with all your eccentricities, possessed of a certain share of sense; but I now see you are both a brute and an ass." "That shows how much you know of natural history," replied the doctor, perfectly composed. (Indeed, it was not a trifle that could destroy his good humour.) "I sup. pose, M/ Hot-head, you would call it vastly amiable, as well a a sensible, if I had first frightened you by big words and portentous shakings of the head, and then proceeded to my proper business, instead of doing as I have done, handling the wound at once, and, at the same time, endeavouring to divert your attention by my nonsense." "A very pretty diversion, truly." "Certainly—it was a diversion in your favour.—But, Lord G—! what a d d rascal this ruffian of your's must be! He must have driven his weapon up to the hilt,—and that, with right good will; for see, here's the blue mark of his fist upon your breast! just above the lips of the wound. (Put your finger here, Juan.) I don't wonder you feel so sore. It's only surprising the fellow didn't bury hilt, fist, and all, in your vitals. (That will do.) There, sir,—you're as snug as you need to be. And now, that I have done my duty as surgeon, I am going to play the comforter, (Some water, Juan, and a towel, for my hands), lest your bad temper play the devil with your flesh. Jeremy Levis,— I have something to tell you of your lady, that shall" "Have you! What is it, Harry?" "O h'o! Harry, now! brute and ass no longer! Damme, I've a great mind not to tell you, to punish you for your pettishness. However,— But first, I must know every particular of your connexion with this dear lump of clay. (Juan, my lad, wipe those instruments very clean.)" "Smith, you're the most unfeeling!" "Out with it, man ! brute. But, seriously, Jerry,— I can't tell my story as I should, unless you first do as I say." It had been useless to contend with him; so I gave the Doctor a sketch of what the Reader has already learned in detail. When I had finished, "Upon my soul!" exclaimed the stomach-cteaner, bursting into a fit of laughter, "you beat the devil! Here have I, — a man of my parts, who could stuff a dozen such shrimps as you in his belly, —^ been rolling up and down this city of fire, for nearly two years, and no1 squeezed so much as a sigh from even a negro-wench,— yet you, though you've not been here a twelvemonth, have managed to gain the affections of the most beautiful girl in all Cumana, and get poniarded in her defence in the bargain! Fiddlesticks and women's whimsies! why you're but six years younger than I am, man, and not half so handsome as you used to be." "That may be, Doctor Smith," said I, by no meaus relishing his candour; "and you are twice as ugly." "Ha, ha, ha!" roared the jolly clyster-giver, patting his huge paunch, "to be sure I am !' Non sum qualis eram.' And, faith! I don't care a fig about it, provided I am not so deformed as to frighten my lady patients." That the Reader may be convinced that my friend was, indeed, no longer the active and powerful Harry Smith of Book i., I will venture to make a fracture in the Doctor's |