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One week I miss'd him from the market-place,
Along the streets where he was wont to be ;
Before the 'Change, nor by Sheep-lane was he.
In which the bard's departed worth we mourn.
THERE'S NO SUCH THING AS ILL LUCK,
It is true that some misfortunes are inevitable; but, in general, they proceed from our own want of judgment and fore. sight.
Our ENJOYMENTS ARE CONDITIONAL.
If we had it in our power to gratify every wish, we should soon feel the effects of a surfeit.
OUR REAL WANTS ARE FEW. The stomach tires of every thing but, bread and water.
MODERATE YOUR DESIRES. Take away your expensive follies, and you will have little occasion to complain of hard times.
MANY A LITTLE MAKES A MICKLE. When a shopkeeper has company, he may have two candles; but when alone, one candle will be sufficient for common purposes. The saving will nearly find his wife in shoes. As The TWIG IS BENT, THE TREE INCLINES.
If you give your children an improper education, their future misfortunes will lie at your door.
THERE ARE TRUE AND FALSE FACTS. History should be read with caution. It often presents us with false and delusive pictures; and, by the gay colouring of the artist, excites our admiration of characters really odious,
THINGS WORTH REMEMBERING.
Be HONEST. If you only endeavour to be honest, you are struggling with yourself.
A DEFINITION. Truth is the conformity of expression to thought.
never saw woman. On their arriving at man's estate, quity, Democritus, Socrates, Àristippus the
The most eminent philosophers of antibuy each of them whatever he thought best. They chief of the Cyrenaïc sect, Plato, Epicurus, gazed about them, asking the names of whatever they and Lucretius, affirmed, that cold and heat, white, they demanded what they were; the farmer, odours and colours, were no other than somewhat alarmned at the eagerness of the question, sensations excited in our minds, by the difreplied, “ Pho, those silly things are geese." When: ferent operations of the bodies surrounding without waiting an instant, all three exclaimed, “Oh father, buy me a goose.".
us, and acting on our senses; even Aristotle
himself was of opinion, that « sensible that whatever we see, apprehend, or touch, qualities exist in the 'mind." Yet when is just as they appear; and that the only Descartes, and after him Mallebranche, true rule or criterion of things, was in the taught the very same truths, they were perception men had of them. From Proascribed to these moderns, owing to the tagoras, bishop Berkeley seems to have outcry they made, as if the opposite error, derived his idea, “ that there is nothing in which they attacked in the schoolmen, had external objects but what the sensible quabeen that of all ages; and nobody deigned lities existing in our minds induce us to to search whether, in reality, it was so or imagine, and of course that they have no not. Were we to bring into review all that other manner of existence; there being no the ancients have taught on this subject, we other substratum for them, than the minds should be surprised at the clearness with by which they are perceived, not as modes which they have explained themselves, and or qualities belonging to themselves, but as at a loss to account how opinions came to objects of perception to whatever is percibe taken for new, which had been illus- pient.” trated in their writings with such force and We should think we were listening to precision.
the two modern philosophers, Descartes Democritus was the first who disarray- and Mallebranche, when we hear Aristiped body of its sensible qualities. ' He pus, the disciple of Socrates, exhorting men affirmed, that “ the first elements of things to be upon their guard with respect to having in them naturally neither whiteness the reports of sense, because it does not nor blackness, sweetness nor bitterness, always yield - just information; for we do heat nor cold, nor any other quality, it not perceive exterior objects as they are in thence follows, that colour, for example, themselves, but only as they affect us.
We exists only in our imagination or percep- know not of what colour or smell they may sweetness, which exist only in being per- It is not the objects themselves haurselves. ceived, are the consequences of the differ- enabled to comprehend, but are confined ent manner in which we ourselves are to judge of them only by the impressions affected by the bodies surrounding us, there they make upon us; and the wrong judgbeing nothing in its own nature yellow or ments we form of them in this respect is white, or red, sweet or bitter." He indi- the cause of all our errors. Hence, when cates what kind of atoms produce such and we perceive a tower which appears round, such sensations: round atoms, for example, or an oar which seems crooked in the the taste of sweetness; pointed and crook water, we may say that our senses intimate ed, that of tartness; bodies composed of so and so, but ought not to affirm that the angular and coarse parts, introducing them distant tower is really round, or the oar in selves with difficulty into the pores, cause
the water crooked : it is enough, in such a the disagreeable sensations of bitterness case, to say with Aristippus and the Cyreand acidity, &c. The Newtonians imitate naïc sect, that we receive the impression of this reasoning everywhere, in explaining roundness from the tower, and of crookeda the different natures of bodies.
ness from the oar; but it is neither neces. Sextus Empiricus, explaining the doc- sary nor properly in our power to affirm, trine of Democritus, says,
" that sensible that the tower is really round, or the oar qualities, according to that philosopher, broken; for a square tower may appear have nothing of reality but in the opinion round at a distance, and a straight stick of those who are differently affected by always seems crooked in the water."*! them, according to the different dispositions Everybody talks of whiteness and sweetof their organs; and that from this differ- ness, but they have no common faculty to ence of disposition arise the perceptions of which they can with certainty refer impressweet and bitter, heat and cold; and also, sions of this kind. Every one judges by that we do not deceiye ourselves in affirmé his own apprehensions, and nobody can ing that we feel such impressions, but in affirm that the sensation which he feels. concluding that exterior objects must have in when he sees a white object, is the same them something analogous to our feelings."
with what his neighbour experiences in reProtagoras, the disciple of Democritus, gard to the same object. He who has large carried farther than ever Democritus did eyes will see objects in a different magnis the consequences of his system; for admitting with his master the perpetual mu * Peter Huet, the celebrated bishop of Avranches, tability of matter which occasioned a con
in his " Essay on the Weakness of the Human Under
standing,", argues to the same effect, and almost in the stant change in things, he thence concluded, same words. Ep.
tude from him whose eyes are little, and he tune. In the “ Tatler” we read about the who hath blue eyes, discern thein under staff in a variety of combinations, under different colours from him who hath grey; one of which the popular author of that whence it comes, that we give common work chose to designate himself, and therenames to things, of which, however, we by conferred immortality on the name of judge very variously.
Bickerstaff. Our friend Ephraim was no Epicurus, admitting the principles of great wit, but he loved a joke, particularly Democritus, thuace deduces that colour, if he made it himself; and he used to say, cold, heat, and other sensible qualities are whenever he heard any one endeavouring not inherent in the atoms, but the result of to account for his name, that he believed their assemblage ; and that the difference it originated in the marriage of a Miss between them flows from the diversity of Staff to some Wag who lived near her: their size, figure, and arrangement; inso- and who, willing to show his gallantry, inuch, that any number of atoms in one and at the same time his knowledge of disposition creates one sort of sensation; French customs, adopted the fashion of and in another, another : but their own that sprightly people, by adding her family primary nature remains always the same." name to his own. The conjecture is at
The moderns have treated this matter least probable, and so we must leave it. with much penetration and sagacity, yet At the age of fifty-two it pleased heaven they have scarcely advanced any thing but to deprive Mr. Wagstaff of his beloved what had been said before by the ancient spouse Barbara. The bereavement formed philosophers just quoted, and by others an era in his history. Mrs. Wagstaff was who might be cited to the same effect. an active, strong woman, about ten years
older than himself, and one sure to be For the Table Book.
missed in any circle wherein she had once
moved. She was indeed no cipher. Her MR. EPHRAIM WAGSTAFF, , person was tall and bony, her face, in HIS WIFE AND PIPE.
hue, something between brown and red,
had the appearance of having been scorchAbout the middle of Shoemaker-row, ed. Altogether her qualities were truly near to Broadway, Blackfriars, there re ommanding. She loved her own way sided for many years a substantial hard- exceedingly; was continually on the alert to wareman, named Ephraim Wagstaff. He have it; and, in truth, generally succeeded. was short in stature, tolerably well favoured Yet such was her love of justice, that she in countenance, and singularly, neat and has been heard to aver repeatedly, that she clean in his attire. Everybody in the
never (she spoke the word never emphaneighbourhood looked
a tically) opposed her husband, but when he “ warm ” old man; and when he died, ihe was decidedly in the wrong. Of these property he left behind him did not bely occasions, it must also be mentioned, she the preconceived opinion. It was all per- generously took upon herself the trouble sonal, amounted to about nineteen thou- and responsibility of being the sole judge. sand pounds; and, as he was childless, There was one point, however, on which it it went to distant relations, with the excep- would seem that Mr. Wagstaff had contion of a few hundred pounds bequeathed trived to please himself exclusively; alto public charities.
though, how he had managed to resist so efThe family of Ephraim Wagstaff, both fectually the remonstrances and opposition on the male and female sides, was respect- which, from the structure of his wife's able, though not opulent. His maternal mind he must necessarily bave been doomgrandfather, he used to say, formed part of ed to encounter, must ever remain a secret. the executive government in the reign of The fact was this: Ephraim had a peculiarly George I., whom he served as petty con- strong attachment to a pipe; his affection stable in one of the manufacturing dis- for his amiable partner scarcely exceeding tricts during a long period. The love of that which he entertained for that lively office seems not to have been hereditary in emblem of so many sage contrivances and the family; or perhaps the opportunities forid speeches, ending like it-in smoke. of gratifying it did not continue; for, with In the times of his former wives (for twice that single exception, none of his ancestors before had he been yoked in matrimony) could boast of official honours. The origin he had indulged himself with it unmolestof the name is doubtful. On a first view, ed. Not so with Mrs. Wagstaff the third. it seems evidently the conjunction of two Pipes and smoking she held in unmitigated names brought together by marriage or for- abhorrence : but having, by whatever
means, been obliged to submit to their in
AN ULTRA-MARINER. troduction, she wisely avoided all direct attempts to abate what she called among her friends “ the nuisance;" and, like a According to father Feyjoo, in the month skilful general, who has failed of securing of June, 1674, some young men were walkvictory, she had recourse to such stratagems ing by the sea-side in Bilboa, and one of as might render it as little productive as them, named Francis de la Vega, of about possible to the enemy. Ephraim, aware fifteen years of age, suddenly leaped into how matters stood, neglected no precaution the sea, and disappeared presently. His to guard against his wife's maneuvres companions, after waiting some time, and meeting, of course, with various success. he not returning, made the event public, Many a time did her ingenuity contrive an and sent an account of it to De la Vega's accident, by which his pipe and peace of mother, at Lierganès, a small town in the mind were at once demolished; and, al- archbishopric of Burgos. At first she disthough there never could be any difficulty credited his death, but his absence occain replacing the former by simply sending sioned her fond doubts tó vanish, and she out for that purpose, yet he has confessed, mourned his untimely loss, that when he contemplated the possibility About five years afterwards some fisherof offering too strong an excitement to the men, in the environs of Cadiz, perceived shrill tones of his beloved's voice, (the only the figure of a man sometimes swimming, pipe she willingly tolerated,) he waved and sometimes plunging under the water. that proceeding, and submitted to the sacri On the next day they saw the same, and fice as much the lesser evil. At length mentioned it as a very singular circumMrs. Wagstaff was taken ill, an inflamma
stance to several people. They threw their tion on her lungs was found to be her nets, and baiting the swimmer with some malady, and that crisis appeared to be fast pieces of bread, they at length caught the approaching, when
object of their attention, which to their The doctor leaves the house with sorrow, astonishment they found to be a well-formed Despairing of his fee to-morrow.
man. They put several questions to him The foreboding soon proved correct; and, in various languages, but he answered none. every thing considered, perhaps it ought They then took him to the convent of St. not 'to excite much surprise, that when Francis, where he was exorcised, thinking Ephraim heard from the physician that he might be possessed by some evil spirit. there was little or no chance of her recovery, The exorcism was as useless as the queshe betrayed no symptoms of excessive tions. At length, after some days, he proemotion, but mumbling something unin. nounced the word Lierganès. It happened telligibly, in which the doctor thought he that a person belonging to that town was caught the sound of the words“ Christian present when he uttered the name, as was duty of resignation," he quietly filled an also the secretary of the Inquisition, who additional pipe that evening. The next wrote to his correspondent at Lierganès, day Mrs. Wagstaff expired, and in due relating the particulars, and instituting intime her interment took place in the church- quiries relative to this very extraordinary yard of St. Ann, Blackfriars, every thing man; and he received an account of the connected therewith being conducted with young man who had disappeared in the the decorum becoming so melancholy an manner before related. event, and which might be expected from a On this information, it was determined man of Mr. Wagstaff's gravity and ex that the marine man should be sent to perience. The funeral was a walking one Lierganès; and a Franciscan friar, who was from the near vicinity to the ground, and obliged to go there on other business, un. but for an untimely slanting shower of rain, dertook to conduct him the following year. no particular inconvenience would have When they came within a quarter of a been felt by those who were assembled on league of the town, the friar ordered the that occasion; that casualty, however, young man to go before and show him the caused them to be thoroughly drenched; way. He made no answer, but led the and, in reference to their appearance, it friar to the widow De la Vega's house. was feelingly observed by some of the by- She recollected him instantly, and embracstanders, that they had seldom seen so ing him, cried out, “ This is my son, that I many tears on the faces of mourners, lost at Bilboa !” Two of his brothers who To be continued-(perhaps.)
were present also knew him immediately,
and embraced him with equal tenderness. NEMO. He, however, did not evince the least sen
sibility, or the smallest degree of surprise.
ANTIPATHIES. He spoke no more at Lierganès than at Cadiz, nor could any thing be obtained Erasmus, though a native of Rotterdam, from him relative to his adventure. He had such an aversion to fish, that the smell had entirely forgotten his native language, of it threw him into a fever. except the words pan, vino, tabaco,“ bread, Ambrose Paré mentions a gentleman, wine, tobacco;" and these he uttered in- who never could see an eel without faintdiscriminately and without application. ing. They asked him if he would have either of There is an account of another gentlethese articles; he could make no reply. man, who would fall into convulsions at the
For several days together he would eat sight of a carp. large quantities of bread, and for as many A lady, a native of France, always faintdays following he would not take the least ed on seeing boiled lobsters. Other persons food of any kind. If he was directed to of the same country experienced the same do any thing, he would execute the com inconvenience from the smell of roses, mission very properly, but without speak- though they were particularly partial to the ing a word : he would carry a letter to odour of jonquils or tuberoses. where it was addressed, and bring an Joseph Scaliger and Peter Abono never answer back in writing. He was sent one could drink milk. - day with a letter to St. Ander; to get there Cardan was particularly disgusted at the it was necessary to cross the river at Pa- sight of eggs. drenna, which is more than a league wide in Uladislaus, king of Poland, could not that spot; not finding a boat in which he bear to see apples. could cross it, he threw himself in, swam If an apple was shown to Chesne, secreover, and delivered the letter as directed.
tary to Francis I., he bled at the nose. At this time Francis de la Vega was A gentleman, in the court of the emperor nearly six feet in height, and well formed, Ferdinand, would bleed at the nose on with a fair skin, and red hair as short as a hearing the mewing of a cat, however great new-born infant's. He always went bare. the distance might be from him. footed, and had scarcely any nails either on Henry III. of France could never sit in his hands or feet. He never dressed him a room with a cat. self but when he was told to do it. The The duke of Schomberg had the same same with eating; what was offered to aversion. him he accepted, but he never asked for M. de Lancre gives an account of a very food.
sensible man, who was so terrified at seeing In this way he remained at his mother's a hedgehog, that for two years he imagined for nine years, when he again disappeared, his bowels were gnawed by such an animal. without any apparent cause, and no one The same author was intimate with a knew how. It may be supposed, however, very brave officer, who was so terrified at that the motive or feeling which induced the sight of a mouse, that he never dared his first disappearance influenced the se to look at one unless he had his sword in cond. Some time afterwards it was reported his hand. that an inhabitant of Lierganès again saw M. Vangheim, a great huntsman in Trancis de la Vega in some port of Astu- Hanover, would faint, or, if he had suffirias; but this was never confirmed. cient time, would run away at the sight of
When this very singular man was first a roasted pig taken out of the sea at Cadiz, it is said John Rol, a gentleman in Alcantara, that his body was entirely covered with would swoon on hearing the word lana, "scales, but they fell off soon after his com- wool, pronounced, although his cloak was ing out of the water. They also add, that woollen. different parts of his body were as hard as The philosophical Boyle could not conshagreen.
quer a strong aversion to the sound of Father Feyjoo adds many philosophical water running through a pipe. reflections on the existence of this pheno La Mothe le Vayer could not endure the menor, and on the means by which a man sound, of musical instruments, though he may be enabled to live at the bottom of the experienced a lively pleasure whenever it
He observes, that if Francis de la thundered. Vega had preserved his reason and the use The author of the Turkish Spy tells us of speech, he would have given us more that he would rather encounter a lion in instruction and information in marine af- the deserts of Arabia, provided he had but fairs, than all the naturalists combined. a sword in his hand, than feel a spider