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neither, but let your own discretion be your tutor; place, and came before it early on the morning of the suit the action to the word, the word to the action; twenty-seventh. As soon as they came into that with this special observance, that you o'erstep not ground, the prince of Nassau was sent with a strong the modesty of nature; for any thing so overdone is detachment to take post at St. Amand; and, at the from the purpose of playing, whose end, both at the same time, my Lord Orkney received orders to first, and now, was, and is, to hold as 'twere the himself himself of Mortagne ; both which were sucmirror up to nature; to show virtue her own feature, cessfulle executed; whereby we were masters of the scorn her own visage, and the very age and body of Scheld and Scarp. Eight men were drawn out of the time his form and pressure. Now this, over each troop of dragoons and company of foot in the done, or come tardy off, though it make the unskilful garrison of Tournay, to make up the reinforcemen: laugh, cannot but make the judicious grieve; the which was ordered to join Marshal Villars. On censure of which, one, must, in your allowance, o'er- advice, that the allies were marching towards Tour. weigh a whole theatre of others. O, there be players, nay, they endeavoured to retum into the town, but that I have seen play—and heard others praise, and were intercepted by the Earl of Orkney, by whom the that highly—not to speak it profanely, that, neither whole body was killed or taken. These letters add, having the accent of Christians nor the gate of that twelve hundred dragoons (each horseman carry. Christian, Pagan, nor man, have so strutted, and ing a foot-soldier behind him, were detached from bellowed, that I have thought some of nature's Mons to throw themselves into Tournay, but, apa journeymen had made men, and not made them well, appearance of a great body of horse of the allies, they imitated humanity so abominably. This should retired towards Conde. We hear that the garrison be reformed altogether. And let those that play your does not consist of more than three thousand tre clowns, speak no more than is set down for them; hundred men. Of the sixty battalions designed to for there be of them, that will themselves laugh, to be employed in this siege, seven are English, til set on some quantity of barren spectators to laugh two of guards, and the regiments of Argyle, Temple, too; though in the mean time, some necessary Evans, and Meredith. question of the play be then to be considered ; that's villainous, and shows a most pitiful ambition in the fool tbat uses it.'
No. 36.] SATURDAY, JULY 2, 1709.
BY MRS. JENNY DISTAFF, HALF-SISTLR TO From my own Apartment, June 29. It would be a very great obligation, and an assist
From my own Apartment, June 30. ance to my treatise upon punning, if any one would please to inform me in what class among the learned,
MANY affairs calling my brother into the country, who play with words, to place the author of the the care of our intelligence with the town is left 19 following letter :
me for some time; therefore you must expect the Sir-Not long since you were pleased to give us
advices you meet with in this paper, to be such as a chimerical account of the famous family of the sideration of our sex. History, therefore, written
more immediately and naturally fall under the conStaffs, from whence I suppose you would insinuate, by a woman, you will easily imagine to consist of that it is the most ancient and numerous house in love in all its forms, both in the abuse of, and obediall Europe. But I positively deny that it is either, and wonder much at your audacious proceedings in itself, it will not, it is hoped, be demanded that style
ence to that passion. As to the faculty of writing this manner, since it is well known, that our most illustrious, most renowned, and most celebrated and simplicity; which latter qualities we may more
and ornament shall be so much consulted, as truth Roman family of Ix has enjoyed the precedency to all others, from the reign of good old Saturn. I justly, pretend to beyond the other ser. While, could say much to the defamation and disgrace of hands, you shall from time to time have an exact
therefore, the administration of our affairs is in my your family; as, that your relations Distaff and Broomstaff were both inconsiderable mean persons, for breaking off ; of all termagant wives who make
account of all false lovers, and their shallow pretences one spinning, the other sweeping the streets, for their daily bread. But I forbear to vent my spleen on
wedlock a yoke; of men who affect the entertain objects so much beneath my indignation. I shall
ments and 'manners suitable only to our ses, and only give the world a catalogue of my ancestors, and
women who pretend to the conduct of such affairs as leave them to determine which hath hitherto had, further to advertise the reader, that the usual places
are only within the province of men. It is necessary and which for the future ought to have, the pre- of resort being utterly out of my province or observar ference. First then comes the most famous and popular lady of places as occurrences come into my way.
tion, I shall be obliged frequently to change the dates Meretrix, parent of the fertile family of Bellatrix, following letter I lately received from Epsom. Famulatrix, Nutrix, Obstetrix, Lotrix, Netrix, Coctrix, Ornatrix, Sarcinatrix, Fextrix, Balneatrix, Portatrix, Saltatrix, Divinatrix, Conjectrix, Comtrix, De
Epsom, June 28. bitrix, Creditrix, Donatrix, Ambulatrix, Mercatrix,
• It is now almost three weeks since what you writ Adsectrix, Assectatrix, Palpatrix, Præceptrix, Pistrix about happened in this place: The quarrel between
my friends did not run so high as I find your ac · Eliz, POTATRIX.'
counts have made it. The truth of the fact you shall
have very faithfully. You are to understand, that the St. James's Coffee-house, June 17.
persons concerned in this scene were Lady Autumn Letters from Brussels of the second of July, N.s. breeding, formality, and a singular way practised in
and Lady Springly: Autumn is a person of good say, that the duke of Marlborough and prince Eugene, the last age; and Lady Springly a modern impertihaving received advice that the Marshal Villars had drawn a considerable body out of the garrison of
nent of our sex, who affects as improper a familiarity
, CiTournay, to reinforce his army, marched towards that
as the other does distance. Lady Autuma knows to a hair's breadth where her place is in all assemblies
· I am yours,
and conversations; but Springly neither gives nor ried the younger brother; yet, perhaps, he may be takes place of any body, but understands the place beholden to those people for what he is. Springly to signify no more, than to have room enough to be smartly answers, “ People may bring so much illat case wherever she comes. Thus, while Autumn humour into a family, as people may repent their takes the whole of this life to consist in understand- | receiving their money ;" and goes on ing punctilio and decorum, Springly takes everybody is not considerable enough to give her uneasithing to be becoming, which contributes to her ease ness." Upon this Autumn comes up to her, and and satisfaction. These heroines have married two desired her to kiss her, and never to see her again; brothers, both knights. Springly is the spouse of which her sister refusing, my lady gave her a box on the elder, who is a baronet; and Autumn, being a the ear. ---Springly returns ; Ay, ay," said she, rich widow, has taken the younger, and her purse " I knew well enough you meant me by your some endowed him with an equal fortune, and knighthood people;" and gives her another on the other side. of the same order. This jumble of titles, you need to it they went with most masculine fury; each not doubt, has been an aching torment to Autumn, husband ran in. The wives immediately fell upon who took place of the other on no pretence, but her their husbands, and tora perriwigs and cravats, the carelessness and disregard of distinction. The secret company interposed; when (according to the slipoccasion of envy broiled long in the breast of Au- knot of matrimony, which makes them return to one tumu; but no opportunity of contention on that another when any put in between) the ladies and subject happening, kept all things quiet until the their husbands fell upon all the rest of the coma accident of which you demand an account.
pany; and, having beat all their friends and relations • It was given out among all the gay people of this out of the house, came to themselves time enough to place, that on the ninth instant several damsels, swift know, there was no bearing the jest of the place after of foot, weré to run for a suit of head-cloaths at the these adventures, and therefore marched off the next Old Wells. Lady Autumn on this occasion invited day. It is said, the governor has sent several joints Springly to go with her in her coach to see the race. of mutton, and has proposed divers dishes very exWhen they came to the place, where the governor of quisitely dressed, to bring them down again. From Epsom and all his court of citizens were assembled, his address and knowledge in roast and boiled, all as well as a crowd of people of all orders, a brisk our hopes of the return of this good company depend. young fellow addresses himself to the younger of the I am dear Jenny, ladies, viz. Springly, and offers her his service to
• Yonr ready friend and servant, conduct her into the music-room, Springly accepts
* MARTHA TATLER," the compliment, and is led triumphantly through a bowing crowd, while Autumm is left among the
White's Chocolate-house, June 30. rabble, and has much ado to get back into her coach; This day appeared here a figure of a person, whose but she did it last ; and as it is usual to see by the services to the fair sex have reduced him to a kind of horses my lady's present disposition, she orders John existence for which there is no name. If there be a to whip furiously home to her husband; where, condition between life and death, without being abwhen she enters, down she sits, began to unpin her solutely dead or living, his state is that. His aspect hood, and lament her foolish fond heart, to marry and complexion, in his robust days, gave him the into a family where she was so little regarded; | illustrious title of Africanus : but it is not only from
Here she stops; then rises the warm climates in which he has served, nor from up, and stamps and sits down again. Her gentle the disasters which he has suffered, that he deserves kuight made his approach with a supple beseeching the same appellation with that renowned Roman ; gesture. “My dear !" said her" Tell me no but the magnanimity with which he appears in his dears;" replied Autumn, in the presence of the go- last moments, is what gives him the undoubted chavernor and all the merchants" What will the racter of hero. Cato stabbed himself, and Hannibal world say of a woman that has thrown herself away drank poison; but our Africanus lives in the conat this rate ?" Sir Thomas withdrew, and knew it tinual puncture of aching bones and poisoned juices. would not be long a secret to him ; as well as that The old heroes fled from torments, by death; and experience told him, he that marries a fortune is of this modern lives in death and torments, with a heart course guilty of all faults against his wife, let them wholly bent upon a supply for remaining in them. be committed by whom they will. But Springly, an An ordinary spirit would sink under his oppresa hour or two after, returns from the Wells, and finds sions, but he makes an advantage of his very sorrow, the whole company together. Down she sat, and a and raises an income from his diseases. Long has profound silence ensued. You know a premeditated this worthy been conversant in bartering, and knows quarrel usually begins, and works up with the words that when stocks are lowest it is the time to buy, some people. The silence was broken by Lady Therefore, with much prudence and tranquillity, he Autumn, who began to say, “ There are some people thinks that now, he has not a bone sound, but a who faney, that if some people”—Springly imniedi- thousand nodous parts for which the anatomists have ately takes her up,
“ There are some people who not words, and more diseases than the college ever fancy, if other people"-Autumn repartees, “ People heard of, it is the only time to purchase an annuity may give themselves airs; but other people, perhaps, for life. Sir Thomas told me, it was an entertainwho may make less ado, may be, perhaps, as agree ment more surprising and pleasant than could be able as people who set themselves out more.” All imagined, to see an inhabitant of neither world, the other people at the table sat mute, while these without hand to lift, or leg to move, scarce tongue to 190 people, who were quarrelling, went on with the utter his meaning, so keen upon biting the whole use of the word people, instancing the very accidents world, and making bubbles at his exit. "Sir Thomas between them, as if they kept only in distant hints. added, that he would have bought twelve shillings aTherefore, says Autumn, reddening, “ Tiere are year of him, but that he feared there was some trick some people will go abroad in other people's coaches, in it, and believed him already dead. "What,' says and leave those with whom they went to shift for the knight, is Mr. Partridge whom I met just now tbemselves : and if, perhaps, those people have mar- going on both his legs firmer than I can, allowed to The TATLER, No. 9.
she that might
be qnite dead ; and shall Africanus, without one I foresee my acquaintance will immediately, upon limb than can do its office, be pronounced alive ? starting this subject, ask me how I shall celebrate
What heightened the tragi-comedy of this market Mrs. Alse Copswood, the Yorkshire huntress, who is for annuities was, that the observation of it provoked come to town lately, and moves as if she were on be Monoculus (who is the most eloquent of all men) to nag, and going to take a five-bar gate ; and is as load many excellent reflections which he spoke with the as if she were following her dogs ? I can easily answer vehemence and language both of a gamester and an that; for she is as soft as Damon, in comparison of orator. • When I cast,' said that delightful speaker, her brother-in-law, Tom Bellfrey, who is the most 'my eye upon thee, thou unaccountable Africanus, I accomplished man in this kingdom for all gentlemancannot but call my self as unaccountable as thou art ; like activities and accomplishments. It is allowed, for certainly we were born to show what contradic- that he is a professed enemy to the Italian per. tions nature is pleased to form in the same species. formers in music. But then for our own natire Here am I, able to eat, to drink, to sleep, and to do manner, according to the customs and known usages all acts of nature, except begetting my like; and yet, of our island, he is to be preferred, for the generality by an unintelligible force of spleen and fancy, I every of the pleasure he bestows, much before those fellows, moment imagine I am dying. It is utter madness in though they sing to full theatres. For what is a thee to provide for supper; for I will bet you ten to theatrical voice to that of a fox-hunter? I hare been one, you do not live until half an hour after four; at a musical entertainment in an open field, where it and yet I am so distracted as to be in fear every amazed me to hear to what pitches the chief masters moment, though I will lay ten to three, I drink three would reach. There was a meeting near our seat is pints of burnt claret at your funeral three nights Staffordshire, and the most eminent of all the counties hence. After all I envy thee; thou who, dying, hast of England were at it. How wonderful was the bar. no sense of death, art happier than one in health, mony between men and dogs ! Robin Cartail of who always fears it. The knight had gone on, but Bucks was to answer to Jowler; Mr. Tinbreast of that a third man ended the scene by applauding the Cornwall was appointed to open with Sweetlips, and knight's eloquence and philosophy, in a laughter too beau Slimber, a Londoner, undertook to keep up violent for his own constitution, as he mocked that of with Trips, a whelp just set in : Tom Bellfrey and Africanus and Monoculus.
Ringwood were coupled together, to fill the cry on all
occasions, and be in at the death of the fox, hare, or St. James's Coffee-house, July 1.
stag; for which both the dog and the man were er. This day arrived here three mails from Holland, cellently suited, and loved one another, and were as with advices relating to the affairs of the Low Coun- much together as Banister and King. When Josler tries, which say, that the confederate army extends first alarmed the field, Cartail repeated every note; from Louchin, on the causeway between Tournay and Sweetlip's treble succeeded, and shook the Food; Lisle, to Epain, near Mortagne on the Scheld. The Tinbreast echoed a quarter of a mile beyond it. We Marshal Villars remains in his camp at Lens ; but it were soon, after all, at a loss, until we rode up and is said he detached ten thousand men under the found Trips and Slimber at a default in half notes : command of the Chevalier de Luxemburg, with but the day and the tune was recovered by Tom orders to form a camp at Crepin on the Haine, be- Bellfrey and Ringwood, to the great joy of us all, tween Conde and St. Guillain, where he is to be though they drowned every other voice for Bellfrey joined by the Elector of Bavaria with a body of carries a note four furlongs, three rods, and six paces, troops, and after their conjunction, to attempt to farther than any other in England. march into Brabant. But they write from Brussels, I fear the mention of this will be thought a digres. that the Duke of Marlborough having it equally in sion from my purpose about speech: but I ans ser, his power to make detachments to the same parts, no. Since this is used where speech rather shonid they are under no apprehensions from these reports be employed, it may come into consideration in the for the safety of their country. They further add same chapter : for Mr. Bellfrey being at a visit shere from Brussels, that they have good authority for be- I was, viz. at his cousin's (Lady Dainty's) in Soholieving that the French troops under the conduct of square, was asked, what entertainments they had in the Marshal de Bezons are retiring out of Spain. the country? Now, Bellfrey is very ignorant, and
much a clown; but confident withal. In a word, he No. 37.) TUESDAY, JULY 5, 1709.
struck up a fox-chace ; Lady Dainty's dog, Mr.
Sippet, as she calls him, started, jumped out of his BY MRS. JENNY DISTAFF, HALF-SISTER TO lady's lap, and fell a-barking. Bellfrey went on, and d.
called all the neighbouring parishes into the square.
Never was woman in such confusion as that delicate White's Chocolate-house, July 2.
lady. But there was no stopping her kinsman. A Ir may be thought very unaccountable, that I, who room full of ladies fell into the most violent laughter: can never be supposed to go to White's, should pre- My lady looked as if she was shrieking: Mr. Sippet tend to talk to you of matters proper for, or in the in the middle of the room, breaking his heart sith style of that place. But though I never visit these barking, but all of us unheard. As soon as Bellfrey public haunts, I converse with those who do; and for became silent, up gets my lady, and takes him by the all they pretend so much to the contrary, they are as arm, to lead him off: Bellfrey was in his boots. As talkative as our sex, and as much at a loss to enter she was hurrying him away, his spurs take hold of tain the present company, without sacrificing the last her petticoat; his whip throws down a cabinet of as we ourselves. This reflection has led me into the china : he cries, · What! are your crocks rotten! are consideration of the use of speech ; and made me look your petticoats ragged ? a man cannot walk in your over in my memory, all my acquaintance of both house for trincums.' sexes, to know to which I may more justly impute Every county of Great Britain has one hundred or the sin of superfluous discourse in regard to conver more of this sort of fellows, who roar instead of sation, without entering into it, as it respects speaking. Therefore, if it be true, that we women e ligion.
are also given to a greater fluency of words thaa is
necessary, sure, she that disturbs but a room or a I grew by every guilty triumph less ; family, is more to be tolerated, than one who draws The crowd, when drunk with joy, their souls express, together whole parishes and counties, and sometimes Impatient of the war, yet fear success. (with an estate that might make him the blessing Brave actions dazzle with too bright a ray, and ornament of the world around him) has no other Like birds obscene, they chatter at the day; view and ambition, but to be an animal above dogs Giddy with rule, and valiant in debate, and horses, without the relish of any one enjoyment They throw the die of war to save the state. which is peculiar to the faculties of human nature. I And Gods ! to gild ingratitude with fame, know it will be here said, that talking of mere country Assume the patriot's, we the rebel's name. squires at this rate, is, as it were, to write against Farewell, my friends, your General forlorn, Valentine and Orson. To prove any thing against the To your bare pity, and the public scorn, race of men, you must take them as they are adorned Must lay that honour and his laurel down, with education; as they live in courts, or have re To serve the vain caprices of the gown; ceived instructions in colleges.
Expos'd to all indignities, the brave But I am so full of my late entertainment by Mr. Deserve of those they gloried but to save, Bellfrey, that I must deser pursuing this subject to To rods and axes !-No, the slaves can't dare another day; and waive the proper observations upon Play with my grief, and tempt my last despair. the different offenders in this kind, some by profound This, shall the honours which it won, maintain, i eloquence on small occasions, others by degrading Or do me justice, ere I hug my chain.' speech upon great circumstances. Expect, therefore,
St. James's Coffee-house, July 4. to hear of the whisperer without business, the laugher without wit, the complainer without receiving in
There has arrived no mail since our last; so that juries, and a very large crowd, which I shall not we have no manner of foreign news, except we were forestall, who are common (though not commonly to give you for such, the many speculations which are observed) impertinents, whose tongues are too vo on foot concerning what was imported by the last luble for their brains, and are the general despisers advices. There are, it seems, sixty battalions and of us women, though we have their superiors, men seventeen squadrons appointed to serve in the siege of sense for our servants.
of Tournay; the garrison of which place consists of
but eleven battalions and four squadrons. Letters of Will's Coffee-house, July 3.
the twenty-ninth of the last month from Berlin, have A very ingenious gentleman was complaining this brought advice, that the kings of Denmark and evening, that the players are grown so severe critics, Prussia, and his majesty Augustus, were, within few tbat they would not take in his play, though it has as days, to come to an interview at Potsdam. These many fine things in it as any play that has been writ letters mention, that two Polish princes, of the family since the days of Dryden. He began his discourse of Sapieha and Lubermirsky, lately arrived from about his play with a preface.
Paris, confirm the reports of the misery in France for • There is,' said he, somewhat (however we pale want of provisions, and give a particular instance of liate it) in the very frame and make of us, that sub- it; which is, that on the day Monsieur Rouille jects our minds to chagrin and irresolution on any returned to court, the common people gathered in emergency of time or place. The difficulty grows on crowds about the dauphin's coach, crying, “Peace our sickened imagination, under all the killing and bread, bread and peace.' circumstances of danger and disappointment. This Mrs. Distaff has taken upon her, while she writes we see, not only in the men of retirement and fancy, this paper, to turn her thoughts wholly to the service but in the characters of the men of action ; with this of her own sex, and to propose remedies against the only difference, the coward sees the danger, and greatest vexations attending female life. She has for sickens under it; the hero, warmed by the difficulty, this end written a small treatise concerning the dilates, and rises in proportion to that, and in some Second Word, with an appendix on the use of a sort makes use of his very fears to disarm it. A re- Reply, very proper for all such as are married to markable instance of this we have in the great Cæsar, persons either ill-bred, or ill-natured. There is in when he came to the Rubicon, and was entering this tract a digression for the use of virgins, concernupon a part, perhaps the most hazardous he ever ing the words I Will. bore (certainly the most ungrateful) a war with his A gentlewoman who has a very delicate ear, wants countrymen. When his mind brooded o er personal a maid who can whisper, and help her in the governaffronts, perhaps his anger burned with a desire of ment of her family. If the said servant can clearrevenge. But when more serious reflections laid starch, lisp, and tread softly, she shall have suitable before him the hazard of the enterprize with the encouragement in her wages. dismal consequences which were likely to attend it, aggravated by a special circumstance, “What figure it would bear in the world, or how be excused to
No. 38.] THURSDAY, JULY 7, 1709. posterity ! What shall he do?"—His honour, BY MRS. JENNY DISTAFF, HALF-SISTER TO which was his religion, bids him arm; and he sounds the inclinations of his party, by this set speech :
From my own Apartment, July 6.
I FIND among my brother's papers the following Great Jove, attend, and thou my native soil, letter verbatim, which I wonder how he could supSafe in my triumphs, glutted in my spoil;
press so long as he has, since it was sent him for Witness with what reluctance I oppose
no other end, but to show the good effect his writings My arms to thine, secure of other foes.
have already had upon the ill customs of the age. What passive breast can bear disgrace like mine?
London, June 23. Traitor !- For this I conquer'd on the Rhine, "The end of all public papers ought to be the Endur'd their ten years' drudgery in Gaul, benefit and instruction, as well as the diversion of the Adjourn'd their fate, and sav'd the Capitol, readers : to which I see none so truly conducive as
Your late performances ; especially those tending it is the most cursed disturbance in nature, which is to the rooting out from among us, that unchristian- possible to be inflicted on mankind, under the poble like and bloody custom of duelling; which, that you definition of a sociable creature. In doing this, sir, have already in some measure performed, will appear to you will oblige more humble servants than can find the public in the following no less true than heroic story. room to subscribe their names. "A noble gentleman of this city, who has the
White's Chocolate-house, July 6. honour of serving his country as major ofthe trainbands, being at the general mart of stockjobbers, called In pursuance to my last date from hence, I am to Jonathan's, endeavouring to raise himself (as all men proceed on the accounts I promised of several per of honour ought) to the degree of colonel at least; it sonages among the men, whose conspicuous fortunes, happened that he bought the bear of another officer, or ambition in showing their follies, hare exalted who though not commissioned in the army, yet no less them above their fellows: The levity of their minds eminently serves the public than the other, in raising is visible in their every word and gesture, and there the credit of the kingdom, by raising that of the stocks. is not a day passes but puts me in mind of Mr. However, having sold the bear, and words arising Wycherley's character of a coxcomb · He is ugly all about the delivery, the most noble major, no less over with the affectation of the fine gentlemen.' Now, scorning to be outwitted in the coffee-house, than though the women may put on softness in their to run into the field, according to method, abused looks, or affected severity, or impertinent gaiety, or the other with the titles of rogue, villain, bear-skin-pert smartness, their self-love and admiration cannot, man and the like. Whereupon satisfaction was under any of these disguises, appear so invincible as demanded, and accepted ; so, forth the major marched, that of the men. You may easily take notice, that commanding his adversary to follow. To a most in all their actions there is a secret approbatio. spacious room in the sheriff's house, near the place either in the tone of their voice, the turn of their of quarrel, they come; where haring due regard to body, or cast of their eye, which shows that they are what you have lately published, they resolved not to extremely in their own favour. shed one another's blood in that barbarous manner Take one of your men of business, he shall keep you prohibited; yet, not willing to put up affronts you half an hour with your hat off, entertaining yoni without satisfaction, they stripped, and, in decent with his consideration of that affair you spoke of to manner, fought full fairly with their wrathful hands. him last, until he has drawn a crowd that observes The combat lasted a quarter of an hour ; in which you in this grimace. Then, when he is public enough, time victory was often doubtful, and many a dry he immediately runs into secrets, and falls a-whisperblow was strenuously laid on by each side, until the ing. You and he make breaks with adrerbs; as, major, finding his adversary obstinate, unwilling to But however, thus far;' and then you whisper agais, give him further chastisement, with most shrill voice and so on, until they who are about you are dispersedl, cried out, “I am satisfied, enough!" Whereupon and your busy man's vanity is no longer gratified by the combat ceased, and both were friends immediately. the notice taken of what importance he is, and how
*Thus the world may see, how necessary it is to inconsiderable you are ; for your pretender to business encourage those men, who make it their business to is nerer in secret, but in public. instruct the people in every thing necessary for their There is my dear 'Lord Nowhere, of all men ile preservation. I am informed, a body of worthy most gracions and most obliging, the terror of ralets citizens have agreed on an address of thanks to you, de chambre, whom he oppresses with good-breeding, for what you have writ on the foregoing subject, by enquiring for my good lord and my good lady's whereby they acknowledge one of their highly health. This inimitable courtier will whisper a prits. esteemed officers preserved from death.
counsellor's lacquey with the utmost goodness aod *Your humble servant,
condescension, to know when they nest sit; and is
• A. B.' thoroughly taken up, and thinks he has a part in a I fear the word bear is hardly to be understood is,' he will whisper you, that time will discover:
secret, if he knows that there is a secret. among the politę people; but I take the meaning to
then he shrugs, and calls you back again-Sir, I be, that one who insures a real value upon an imagin- need not say to you, that these things are not to be ary thing, is said to sell a bear, and is the same thing spoken of and harkve, no names, I would not be as a promise among courtiers, or a row between quoted. What adds to the jest is, that his emptiness lovers. I have writ to my brother to hasten to town; has its moods and seasons, and he will not corand hope that printing the letters directed to him, descend to let you into these his discoveries, except which i know not how to answer, will bring him he is in very good humour, or has seen somebody of speedily and, therefore, I add also the following:
fashion talk to you. He will keep his nething to • MR. BICKERSTAFF, July 5, 1709. himself, and pass by and overlook as well as the best • You have hinted a generous intention of taking of them; not observing that he is insolent when he is under your consideration the whisperers without gracious, and obliging when he is haughty. Show me business, and laughers without occasion; as you a woman so inconsiderable as this frequent character. tender the welfare of your country, I entreat you not But my mind, now I am in, turns to many no less to forget or delay so public-spirited a work. Now observable: Thou dear Will Shoestring! I profess or never is the time. Many other calamities may myself in love with thee! how shall I speak thee cease with the war; but I dismally dread the mul- how shall I address thee? how shall I draw thee! tiplication of these mortals under the ease and Thou dear outside! Will you be combing your wiz. luxuriousness of a settled peace, half the blessing of playing with your box, or picking your teeth? or which may be destroyed by them. Their mistake choosest thou rather to be speaking; for thy only les certainly here, in a wretched belief, that their purpose in speaking, to show your teeth ? Rub them so mimicry passes for real business, or true wit. Dear longer, dear Shoestring: do not premeditate murder : sir, convince them, that it never was, is, or do not for ever whiten. Oh! that for my quiet and will be, either of them; nor erer did, does, or to all his own they were rotten! futurity ever can, look like either of them; but that But I will forget him, and give my hand te tha