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there be either wit or sense in what they are about stick; and that every touch of it, with any thing made to say; and, whether it be adapted to the time when, in the fashion of a cane, was to be interpreted as a the place where, and the person to whom, it is spoken. wound in that part, and a violation of the person's

For the utter extirpation of these orators and honour who received it. Mr. Heedless replied, 'that story-tellers, which I look upon as very great pests what he had done was out of kindness to the proseof society, I have invented a watch which divides cutor, as not thinking it proper for him to appear at the minute into twelve parts, after the same manner the head of the trained-bands with a feather upon his that the ordinary watches are divided into hours : shoulder;' and further added, that the stick he had and will endeavour to get a patent, which shall made use of on this occasion was so very small, that oblige every club or company to provide themselves the prosecutor could not have felt it had he broken with one of these watches, that shall lie upon the it on his shoulders.' The censor hereupon directed table, as an hour-glass is often placed near the pul- the jury to examine into the nature of the staff, for pit, to measure out the length of a discourse. that a great deal would depend upon that particular.

I shall be willing to allow a man one round of my Upon which he explained to them the different dewatch, that is, a whole minute, to speak in; but if grees of offence that might be given by the touch of he exceeds that time, it shall be lawful for any of crab-tree from that of cane, and by the touch of cane the company to look upon the watch, or to call him from that of a plain hazel stick. The jury, after a down to order.

short perusal of the staff, declared their opinion by Provided, however, that if any one can make it the mouth of their foreman, that the substance of appear he is turned of threescore, he may take two, the staff was British oak.' The censor then observ. or, if he pleases, three rounds of the watch without ing that there was some dust on the skirts of the crigiving offence. Provided, also, that this rule be not minal's coat, ordered the prosecutor to beat it off construed to extend to the fair sex, who shall be at with the aforesaid oaken plant ; "and thus,' said the liberty to talk by the ordinary watch that is now in censor, “I shall decide this cause by the law of re

'I would likewise earnestly recommend this taliation. If Mr. Heedless did the colonel a good little automaton, which may be easily carried in the office, the colonel will by this means return it in kind; pocket without any incumbrance, to all such as are but if Mr. Heedless should at any time boast that he troubled with this infirmity of speech-that upon had cudgelled the colonel, or laid his staff over his pulling out their watches, they may have frequent shoulders, the colonel might boast, in his turn, that occasion to consider what they are doing, and by that he had brushed Mr. Heedless's jacket, or, to use the means cut the thread of the story short, and hurry phrase of an ingenious author, that he has rubbed to a conclusion. I shall only add, that this watch, him down with an oaken towel.' with a paper of directions how to use it, is sold at Benjamin Busy, of London, merchant, was indictCharles Lillie's.

ed by Jasper Tattle, esquire, for having pulled out I am afraid a Tatler will be thought a very im- his watch, and looked upon it thrice while the said proper paper to censure this humour of being talka-esquire Tattle was giving him an account of the futive; but I would have my readers know, that there neral of the said esquire Tattle's first wife. The priis a great difference between tattle and loquacity, as soner alleged in his defence, that he was going to buy I shall show at large in a following lucubration; it stocks at the time when he met the prosecutor; and being my design to throw away a candle upon that that, during the story of the prosecutor, the said subject, in order to explain the whole art of tattling stocks rose above two per cent to the great detriment in all its branches and subdivisions.

of the prisoner. The prisoner further brought several

witnesses to prove that the said Jasper Tattle, esNo. 265.] TUESDAY, DECEMBER 19, 1710. quire, was a most notorious story-teller ; that, before Arbiter hic igitur factus de lite jocosa. he met the prisoner, he had hindered one of the pri

Ovid. Met. iii. 331. soner's acquaintance from the pursuit of his lawful Him therefore they create

business, with the account of his second marriage; The sov'reign umpire of their droll debate.

and that he had detained another by the button of his

coat that very morning, until he had heard several Continuation of the Journal of the Court of Honour, &c. witty sayings and contrivances of the prosecutor's

As soon as the court was sat, the ladies of the bench eldest son, who was a boy about five years of age. presented, according to order, a table of all the laws Upon the whole matter, Mr. Bickerstaff dismissed the now in force relating to visits and visiting days, me accusation as frivolous, and sentenced the prosecutor thodically digested under their respective heads, to pay damages to the prisoner, for what the prisoner which the Censor ordered to be laid upon the table, had lost by giving him so long and patient a hearing.' and afterwards proceeded upon the business of He further reprimanded the prosecutor very severethe day.

ly, and told him that if he proceeded in his usual Henry Heedless, esquire, was indicted by colonel manner to interrupt the business of mankind, he Touchy, of her majesty's trained-bands, upon an ac- would set a fine upon him for every quarter of an tion of assault and battery; for that he, the said Mr. hour's impertinence, and regulate the said fine ac. Heedless, having espied a feather upon the shoulder cording as the time of the person so injured should of the said colonel, struck it off gently with the end appear more or less precious.' of a walking-staff, value three-pence. It appeared, Sir Paul Swash, knight, was indicted by Peter that the prosecutor did not think himself injured un- Double, gentleman, for not returning the bow which til a few days after the aforesaid blow was given him; he received of the said Peter Double, on Wednesday but that having ruminated with himself for several the sixth instant, at the playhouse in the Hay-mardays, and conferred upon it with other officers of the ket. The prisoner denied the receipt of any such militia, he concluded that he had in effect been cud-bow, and alleged in his defence, that, the prosecutor gelled by Mr. Heedless, and that he ought to resent would oftentimes look full in his face, but that when it accordingly. The counsel for the prosecutor al he bowed to the said prosecutor, he would take no leged, that the shoulder was the tenderest part in a notice of it, or bow to somebody else that sat quite on man of honour ; that it had a natural antipathy to a the other side of him. He likewise alleged that seve


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alle, nor does she appear so amiable, as she would | lighted with battles of the stage. I give you this iu full bloom.

trouble to complain to you, that Nicolini refused to (There is a great deal left out before he concludes,] gratify me in that part of the opera for which I Mr. Spectator, your humble Servant,

have most taste. I observe it is become a cestom,

that whenever any gentlemen are particularly “ BOB HARMLESS."

pleased with a song, at their crying out, Eucore, If this gentleman be really no more than eighteen, or ' Altro Volto, the performer is so obliging as to I must do hin the justice to say, he is the most sing it over again. I was at the opera the last time buowing infant I have yet met with. He does not, Hydaspes was performed. At that part of it where I fear, yet understand, that all he thinks of is an- the hero engages with the lion, the graceful manner other woman; therefore, until he has given a fur- with which he put that terrible monster to death ther account of himself

, the young lady is hereby gave me so great a pleasure, and at the same time directed to keep close to her mother.

so just a sense of that gentleman's intrepidity and

conduct, that I could not forbear desiring a repetiTHE SPECTATOR.

tion of it, by crying out ' Altro Volto,' in a very I cannot comply with the request in Mr. Trots audible voice'; and my friends flatter me that I pra letter : but let it go just as it came to my hands nounced those words with a tolerable good accent, for being so familiar with the old gentleman, as considering that was but the third opera l bad ever rough as he is to him. Since Mr. Trot has an am

seen in my life. Yet, rotwithstanding all this, bition to make him his father-in-law, he ought to there was so little regard had to me, that the lion treat

him with more respect; besides, his style to was carried off, and went to bed, 'without being me might have been more distant than he has killed any more that night. Now, Sir, pray conthought fit to afford me: moreover, his mistress sider that I did not understand a word of what Mr. shall continue in her confinement, until he has Nicolini said to this cruel creature; besides, I bare found out which word in his letter is not rightly* po ear for music; so that, duriog the loty dispute spelt

between them, the whole entertainment I had as * MR. SPECTATOR,

from my eyes. Why then hare pot I as much right

to have a graceful action repeated as another has a “I shall ever own myself your obliged humble pleasing sound, since he only hears, as I only ser, servant, for the advice you gave me concerning my and we neither of us know that there is any riz: dancing; which, unluckily, came too late : for as sonable thing a-doing? Pray, Sir, settle the busi. I said, I would not leave off capering until I had ness of this claim in the audience, and let us kouts your opinion of the matter. I was at our famous when we may cry 'Altro Volto,' Anglicé, ' Again, assembly the day before I received your papers, and Again,' for the future. I am an Englishman and there was observed by an old gentleman, who was expect some reason or other to be given me, ani informed I had a respect for his daughter. He told perhaps an ordinary one may serve ; but I expoet me I was an insignificant little fellow, and said, your answer. that for the future he would take care of his child; so that he did not doubt but to cross my amorous in

“I am, Sir, your most humble Servant, clinations. The lady is confined to her chamber,

“ Toby RENTFREE" and for my part, I am ready to hang myself with “ MR. SPECTATOR,

Nov. 29. the thoughts that I have danced myself out of favour “ You must give me leave, amongst the rest of with her father. I hope you will pardon the trouble your female correspondents, to address you about as I give ; but shall take it for a mighty favour, if you affair which has already given you many a speculawill give me a little more of your advice to put me tion; and which, I know, I need not tell yoa bas in a right way to cheat the old dragon and obtain had a very happy influence over the adult part of my mistress. I am once more, Sir,

our sex; but as many of us are either too old to "Your obliged humble Servant, learn, or too obstinate in the pursuit of the vanities

“ John Trot. which have been bred up with us from our infancy, “ York, Feb. 23, 1711-12.

and all of us quitting the stage whilst you are “ Let me desire you to make what alterations you prompting us to act our part well; you ought, me please, and insert this as soon as possible. Pardon thinks, rather to turn your instructions for the benemistakes by haste.”

fit of that part of our sex who are yet in their native I never do pardon mistakes by haste.

innocence, and ignorant of the vices and that va. THE SPECTATOR.

riety of unhappiness that reign amongst us.

"I must tell you, Mr. Spectator, that it is as “ SIR,

Feb. 27, 1711-12. much a part of your office to oversee the education “Pray be so kind as to let me know what you of the female part of the nation, as well as of the esteem to be the chief qualification of a good poet, male; and to convince the world you are not parespecially of one who writes plays; and you will tial, pray proceed to detect the mal-administration very much oblige, Sir,

of governesses as successfully as you have exposed “ Your very humble Servant,

that of pedagogues; and rescue our sex from the “ N. B.”

prejudice and tyranny of education as well as that To be a very well-bred man.

of your own, who, withont your seasonable inter. The SPECTATOR.

position, are like to improve upon the vices that are “MR. SPECTATOR,

now in vogue.

“ I who know the dignity of your post, as Spes " You are to know that I am naturally brave, and love fighting as well as any man in England. This tator, and the authority a skilful eye ought to bear gallant temper of mine makes me extremely de in the female world, could not forbear consulting

you, and beg your advice in so critical a point, as In the original publication in folio, it is printed "wrightly," is that of the education of young gentlewomen. the mis-spelt word probably, in Mr. Trot's letter, Having already provided myself with a rery coa


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four of the most mischievous animals that can ever uals of several orders in the Romish church to shut infest a family; an old shock dog with one eye, a themselves up at a certain time of the year, not only monkey chained to one side of the chimney, a great from the world in general, but from the members of grey squirrel to the other, and a parrot waddling in their own fraternity; and to pass away several days the middle of the room. However, for a while, all by themselves in settling accounts between their was in a profound tranquillity. Upon the mantle Maker and their own souls, in cancelling unrepented tree, for I am a pretty curious observer, stood a pot crimes, and renewing their contracts of obedience, of lambetive electuary, with a stick of liquorice, and for the future. Such stated times for particular acts near it a phial of rose water, and powder of tutty: of devotion, or the exercise of certain religious du. Upon the table lay a pipe filled with betony and ties, have been enjoined in all civil governments, colt's foot, a roll of wax-candle, a silver spitting-pot, whatever deity they worshipped, or whatever reliand a Seville orange. The lady was placed in a large gion they professed. That which may be done at wicker chair, and her feet wrapped up in flannel, all times, is often totally neglected and forgotten, sapported by cushions; and in this attitude, would unless fixed and determined to some time more than you believe it, Isaac, was she reading a romance another; and therefore, though several duties may with spectacles on. The first compliments over, as be suitable to every day of our lives, they are most she was industriously endeavouring to enter upon con- likely to be performed, if some days are more partiversation, a violent fit of coughing seized her. This cularly set apart for the practice of them. Our awaked Shock, and in a trice the whole room was in church has accordingly instituted several seasons of an uproar; for the dog barked, the squirrel squealed, devotion, when time, custom, prescription, and, if I the monkey chattered, the parrot screamed, and Ur. may so say, the fashion itself, call upon a man to be sula, to appease them, was more clamorous than all serious, and attentive to the great end of his being. the rest. You, Isaac, who know how any harsh noise I have hinted in some former papers, that the affects my head, may guess what I suffered from the greatest and wisest of men in all ages and countries, bideous din of these discordant sounds. At length particularly in Rome and Greece, were renowned for all was appeased, and quiet restored : a chair was their piety and virtue. It is now my intention to drawn for me; where I was no sooner seated, but the show, bow those in our own nation that have been parrot fixed his horny beak, as sharp as a pair of unquestionably the most eminent for learning and sheers, in one of my heels, just above the shoe. I knowledge were likewise the most eminent for their sprung from the place with an unusual agility, and adherence to the religion of their country. so, being within the monkey's reach, he snatches off I might produce very shining examples from among my new bob-wig, and throws it upon two apples that the clergy; but because priestcraft is the common were roasting by a sullen sea-coal fire. I was nim-cry of every cavilling, empty scribbler, I shall show ble enough to save it from any further damage than that all the laymen who have exerted a more tha: singing the fore-top. I put it on; and composing ordinary genius in their writings, and were the glory mysel as well as I could, I drew my chair towards of their times, were men whose hopes were filled the other side of the chimney. The good lady, as with immortality and the prospect of future resoon as she had recovered breath, employed it in wards, and men who lived in a dutiful submission to making a thousand apologies, and, with great elo- all the doctrines of revealed religion. quence, and a numerous train of words, lamented I shall, in this paper, only instance sir Francis my misfortune. In the middle of her harangue, I Bacon, a man who, for greatness of genius, and felt something scratching near my knee, and feeling compass of knowledge, did honour to his age and what it should he, found the squirrel had got into my country; I could almost say to buman nature itself. coat pocket. As I endeavoured to remove him from He possessed at once all those extraordinary talents, his burrow, he made his teeth meet through the which were divided amongst the greatest authors of fleshy part of my fore-finger. This gave me inex- antiquity. He had the sound, distinct, comprehenpressible pain. The Hungary water was immediately sive knowledge of Aristotle, with all the beautiful brought to bathe it, and gold-beater's skin applied to lights, graces, and embellishments of Cicero. One stop the blood. The lady renewed her excuses ; but does not know which to admire most in his writings; being now out of all patience, I abruptly took my the strength of reason, force of style, or brightness leave, and hobbling down with needless haste, I set of imagination. my foot full in a pail of water, and down we came This author has remarked in several parts of his to the bottom together.' Here my friend concluded works, that a thorough insight into philosophy makes his narrative, and, with a composed countenance, lj a good believer, and that a smattering in it naturally began to make bim compliments of condolence; but produces such a race of despicable infidels as the he started from his chair, and said, 'Isaac, you inay little profligate writers of the present age, whom, I spare your speeches, I expect no reply. When I must confess, I have always accused to myself, not told you this, I knew you would laugh at me; but so much for their want of faith, as their want of the next woman that makes me ridiculous shall be a learning.

I was infinitely pleased to find, among the works

of this extraordinary man, a prayer of his own No. 267.] SATURDAY, DECEMBER 23, 1710. composing, which, for the elevation of thought Qui genus humanum ingenic superavit, et omnes

and greatness of expression, seems rather the devo

tion of an angel than a man. Kestinxit stellas, exortus uti aërius sol.

His principal fault seems to have been the excess of that virtue which

Lucr. iii. 1056 His genius quite obscur'd the brightest ray

covers a multitude of faults. This betrayed him to Of human thought, as Sol's effulgent beams,

so great an indulgence towards his servants, who At morn's approach, extinguish all the stars.

made a corrupt use of it, that it stripped him of all

those riches and honours which a long series of me.

R. Wynne. rits had heaped upon him. But in this prayer, at From my own Apartment, December 22.

the same time that we find him prostrating himself I HAVE heard that it is a rule among the content-before the great mercy-seat, and humbled under af

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young one.'

dictions, which at that time lay heavy upon him, wel Lord, for my Saviour's sake, and receive me into see him supported by the sense of his integrity, his thy bosom, or guide me in thy ways." zeal, bis devotion, and his love to mankind; which give him a much higher figure in the minds of think.

No. 268.) TUESDAY, DECEMBER 26, 1710. ing men, than that greatness had done from which he was fallen. I shall beg leave to write down the

O te, Bolane, cerebri prayer itself, with the title with it, as it was found Felicem! aiebam tacitus, cum quidlibet ille

Garriret. amongst his lordship's papers, written in his own

Hor. 1 Sat. iz. II. hand; not being able to furnish my readers with an I tbus in muttering silence fretted ; entertainment more suitable to this solemn time. Bolanus, happy in a scull A Prayer, or Psalm, made by my Lord Bacon,

of proof, impenetrably dull,

Francis Chancellor of England.

O for a portion of thy brains!'

Prom my own Apartment, December 25. Most gracicus Lord God, my merciful Father; from my youth up my Creator, my Redeemer, my table the following petition or project, sent me from

At my coming home last night, I found upon my Comforter. Thou, O Lord, soundest and searchest the depths and secrets of all hearts; thou acknow Lloyd's coffee-house in the city, with a present of ledgest the upright of heart; thou judgest the hy. port wine, which had been bought at a late auction

held in that place. pocrite; thou ponderest men's thoughts and doings as in a balance; thou measurest their intentions as To Isaac Bickerstuf, Esquire, Censor of Great with a line; vanity and crooked ways cannot be hid

Britain. from thee.

Lloyd's Coffee-house, Lombard-street, Dec. 23. Remember, O Lord! how thy servant hath walked We, the customers of this coffee-house, observing before thee; remember what I have first sought, and that you have taken into consideracion the great what have been principal in my intentions. I have mischiefs daily done in this city by coffee-house sraloved thy assemblies, I have mourned for the divi- tors, do humbly beg leave to represent to you, that sions of thy church, I have delighted in the bright this coffee-house being provided with a pulpit for the ness of thy sanctuary. This vine, which thy right benefit of such auctions as are frequently made in hand hath planted in this nation, I have ever prayed this place, it is our custom, upon the first coming in unto thee that it might have the first and the latter of the news, to order a youth, who officiates as the rain, and that it might stretch her branches to the Kidney of the coffee-house, to get into the pulpit, seas, and to the floods. The state and bread of the and read every paper with a loud and distinct voice, poor and oppressed have been precious in mine while the whole audience are sipping their respective eyes; I have hated all cruelty and hardness of liquors. We do therefore, sir, humbly propose, that heart; I have, though in a despised weed, procured there be a pulpit erected within every coffee-house of the good of all men. If any have been my enemies, this city and the adjacent parts; that one of the I thought not of them, neither hath the sun almost waiters of the coffee-house be nominated as reader set upon my displeasure ; but I have been, as a to the said pulpit; that after the news of the day dove, free from superfluity of maliciousness. Thy has been published by the said lecturer, some policreatures have been my books, but thy scriptures tician of good note do ascend into the said pulpit ; much more. I have sought thee in the courts, fields, and, after having chosen for his text any article of and gardens; but I bave found thee in thy temples. the said news, that he do establish the authority of

“Thousands have been my sins, and ten thousands such article, clear the doubts that may arise theremy transgressions, but thy sanctifications have re. upon, compare it with parallel texts in other papers, mained with me, and my heart, through thy grace, advance upon it wholesome points of doctrine, and bath been an unquenched coal upon thine altar. draw from it salutary conclusions for the benefit and

O Lord, my strength! I have since my youth edification of all that hear him. We do likewise met with thee in all thy ways, by thy fatherly com- humbly propose, that upon any such politician's passions, by thy comfortable chastisements, and by quitting the pulpit, he shall be succeeded by any thy most visible providence. As thy favours have other orator that finds himself moved by the same increased upon me, so have thy corrections; so as public spirit, who shall be at full liberty either to enthou hast been always near me, O Lord! and ever force or overthrow what the other has said before as my worldly blessings were exalted, so secret darts him, and may, in the same manner, be sncceeded from thee have pierced me; and when I have as- by any other politician, who shall, with the same cended before men, I have descended in humiliation liberty, confirm or impugn his reasons, strengthen before thee. And now, when I thought most of or invalidate his conjectures, enlarge upon his peace and honour, thy band is heavy upon me, and schemes, or erect new ones of his own. We do hath bumbled me according to thy former loving- likewise further propose, that if any person, of what kindness, keeping me still in thy fatherly school, age or rank soever, do presume to cavil at any paper not as a bastard, but as a child. Just are thy judg' that has been read, or to hold forth upon it longer ments upon me for my sins, which are more in num- than the space of one minute, that he be immediately ber than the sands of the sea, but have no propor. ordered up into the pulpit, there to make good any tion to thy mercies; for what are the sands of the thing that he has suggested upon the floor. We do sea ? Earth, beavens, and all these, are nothing to likewise further propose, that if any one plays the thy mercies. Besides my innumerable sins, I con- orator in the ordinary coffee-house conversation. fess before thee, that I am debtor to thee for the whether it be upon peace or war, on plays or ser gracious talent of thy gifts and graces, which I have mons, business or poetry, that he be forthwith deneither put into a napkin, nor put it, as I ought, to sired to take his place in the pulpit. This, sir, we exchangers, where it might have made best profit, humbly presume, may in a great measure put a stop but misspent it in things for which I was least fit; so to those superficial statesmen, who would not dare I may truly say, my soul hath been a stranger in the to stand up in this manner before a whole congre. course of my pilgrimage. Be merciful unto me, Olgation of politicians, notwithstanding the long and

tedious harangues and dissertations which they daily It has been often observed by witty essay writers, utter in private circles, to the breaking of many that the deepest waters are always the most silent; honest tradesmen, the seducing of several eminent that empty vessels make the greatest sound; and citizens, the making of numberless malecontents, tinkling cymbals the worst music. The marquis of and to the great detriment and disquiet of her ma- Halifax, in his admirable · Advice to a Daughter, jesty's subjects.'

tells her, that good-sense has always something I do heartily concur with my ingenious friends of sullen in it:' but as sullenness does not imply sithe above-mentioned coffee-house in these their pro- lence, but an ill-natured silence, I wish his lordship posals : and, because I apprehend there may be rea- had given a softer name to it. Since I am engaged sons to put an immediate stop to the grievance com- unawares in quotations, I must not omit the satire plained of, it is my intention, that, until such time as which Horace has written against this impertinent the aforesaid pulpits can be erected, every orator do talkative companion; and which, I think, is fuller place himself within the bar, and from thence dictate of humour than any other satire he has written. whatsoever he shall think necessary for the public | This great author, who had the nicest taste of con-. good.

versation, and was himself a most agreeable compa: And further, because I am very desirous that nion, had so strong an antipathy to a great talker, proper ways and means should be found out for the that he was afraid some time or other it would be suppressing of story-tellers and fine talkers in all or- mortal to him; as he has very humorously described dinary conversations whatsoever, I do insist, that in it in his conversation with an impertinent fellow, who every private club, company, or meeting over a bot- had like to have been the death of him, tle, there be always an elbow.chair placed at the ta

Interpellandi locus hic erat! Est tibi mater, ble; and that as soon as any one begins a long story, Cognati

, quies te salvo est opus ? Haud mihi or extends his discourse beyond the space of one quisquam. minute, he be forth with thrust into the said elbow

Omnes composui. Felices ! nunc ego resto; chair, unless upon any of the company's calling out,

Confice; namque instat fatum mihi triste, Sabel 'to the chair,' he breaks off abruptly, and holds his

Quod puero cecinit divina motà anus urnå. tongue. There are two species of men, notwithstanding any

Hunc neque dira venena, nec hosticus auferit ensis,

Nec laterum dolor, aut tussis, nec tarda podagra. thing that has been here said, whom I would exempt Garrulus hunc quando consumet cunque ; loquaces from the disgrace of the elbow-chair. The first are

Si sapiat, vitet, simul atque adoleverit ætas. those buffoons that have a talent of mimicking the

Hor. I Sat, ix. 20. specch and behaviour of other persons, and turning all their patrons, friends, and acquaintance, into ri.

Have you no mother, sister, friends, dicule. I look upon your pantomime as a legion in

Whose welfare on your health depends ?

• Not one; I saw them all by turns
a man, or at least to be, like Virgil's monster, ' with
a hundred mouths and as many tongues.'

Securely settled in their urns.'
Linguæ centum sunt, orà que centum.

Thrice happy they, secure from pain !
And, therefore, would give him as much time to talk

And I thy victim now remain ; in, as would be allowed to the whole body of persons

Dispatch me; for my goody nurse he represents, were they actually in the company

Early presaged this heavy curse. which they divert by proxy.

She conn'd it by the sieve and shears,
Provided, however,

And now it falls upon my earsthat the said pantomime do not, upon any pretence

* Nor poison fell with ruin stor'd, whatsoever, utter any thing in his own particular

Nor horrid point of hostile sword, opinion, language, or character. I would likewise, in the second place, grant an

Nor pleurisy, nor asthma-cough, exemption from the elbow-chair to any person who

Nor cripple-gout shall cut him off; treats the company, and by that means be supposed

A noisy tongue and babbling breath

Shall teaze, and talk my child to death. to pay for his audience. A quest cannot take it ill, if he be not allowed to talk in his turn by a person

Let him avoid, as he would hanging,

Your folks long-winded in haranguing.' who puts his mouth to a better employment, and

Francis. stops it with good beef and mutton. In this case the guest is very agreeably sitenced, and seems to hold his tongue under that kind of bribery which the an- No. 269.] THURSDAY, DECEMBER, 28, 1710. cients called bos in lingua. If I can once extirpate the race of solid and sub

Hæ nugæ seria ducunt stantial humdrums, I hope, by my wholesome and In mala

Hor. Ars. Poet. 451. repeated advices, quickly to reduce the insignificant

Trifies such as these tittle-tattles, and matter-of:fact-men, that abound in To serious mischiefs lead.

Francis. every quarter of this great city. Epictetus, in his little system of morality, pre

From my own Apartment, December 27. scribes the following rule with that beautiful sim- I FIND my correspondents are universally ofplicity which shines through all his precepts : Be. fended at me for taking notice so seldom of their ware that thou never tell thy dreams in company; letters, and I fear people have taken the advantage for, notwithstanding thou mayest take a pleasure in of my silence to go on in their errors; for which telling thy dreams, the company will take no plea. reason I shall bereafter be more careful to answer sure in hearing them.'

all lawful questions and just complaints, as soon as This rule is conformable to a maxim which I have they come to my hands. The two following epistles laid down in a late paper, and must always inculcate relate to very great mischiefs in the most important into those of my readers who find in themselves an articles of life-love, and friendship: inclination to be very talkative and jinpertinent, MR. BICKERSTAFF,

Dorsetshire, Dec. 20. that they should not speak to please themselves, 'It is my misfortune to be enamoured of a lady, but those that bear them.'.

tha is neither very beautiful, very witty, nor at all



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