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rally something ridiculous in it, their bodies were think at present the whole race of them is extinct in often produced after their death, which has always our own country. something melancholy or terrifying: so that the About the time that several of our sex were taken killing on the stage does not seem to have been into this kind of service, the ladies likewise brought avoided only as an indecency, but also as an impro- up the fashion of receiving visits in their beds. It babidity.
was then looked upon as a piece of ill-breeding for a Nec pueros coram populo Medea trucidet;
woman to refuse to see a man because she was not Aut humana palain coquat exta nefarius Atreus ; stirring; and a porter would have been thought unfit Aut in avem Progne vertatur, Cadmus in anguem; for his place, that could have made so awkward an Quodcunque ostendis mihi sic, incredulus odi.
As I love to see every thing that is new, I Hor. Ars. Poet. ver. 185. Medea must not draw her murd'ring knise,
once prevailed upon my friend Will Honeycomb to Nor Atreus there his horrid feast prepare ;
carry me along with him to one of these travelled Cadmus and Progne's metamorphoses,
ladies, desiring him, at the same time, to present me (She to a swallow turn'd, he to a snake:)
as a foreigner who could not speak English, that so And whatsoever contradicts my sense, I hate to see, and never can believe.-RosComMON.
I might not be obliged to bear a part in the dis
course. The lady, though willing to appear undrest, I have now gone through the several dramatic in- had put on her best looks, and painted herself for ventions which are made use of by the ignorant our reception. Her hair appeared in a very nice poets to supply the place of tragedy, and by the disorder, as the night-gown which was thrown upon skilful to improve it; some of which I would wish her shoulders was ruffled with great care. For my entirely rejected, and the rest to be used with cau- part, I am so shocked with every thing which looks tion. It would be an endless task to consider co-immodest in the fair sex, that I could not forbear medy in the same light, and to mention the innu- taking off my eye from her when she moved in bed, merable shifts that small wits put in practice to raise and was in the greatest confusion imaginable every a laugh. Bullock in a short coat, and Norris in a time she stirred a leg or an arm. As the coquettes long one, seldom fail of this effect. In ordinary who introduced this custom grew old they left it off comedies, a broad and a narrow-brimmed hat are by degrees, well knowing that a woman of threescore different characters. Sometimes the wit of the scene may kick and tumble her heart out without making lies in a shoulder-belt, and sometimes in a pair of
any impression. whiskers. A lover running about the stage with his
Sempronia is at present the most professed adhead peeping out of a barrel*, was thought a very mirer of the French nation, but is so modest as to good jest in King Charles the Second's time; and admit her visitants no farther than her toilet. It is invented by one of the first wits of that age. But a very odd sight that beautiful creature inakes, when because ridicule is not so delicate as compassion, she is talking politics with her tresses flowing about and because the objects that make us laugh are infi- her shoulders, and examining that face in the glass nitely more numerous than those that make us which does such execution upon all the male standweep, there is a much greater latitude for comic ers-by. How prettily does she divide her discourse than tragic artifices, and by consequence a much between her woman and her visitants! What sprightly greater indulgence to be allowed them.-C.
transitions does she make from an opera or a sermon to an ivory comb or a pincushion! How have I
been pleased to see her interrupted in an account of No. 45.] SATURDAY, APRIL 21, 1711.
her travels, by a message to her footman; and hold. Natio comeda est.-Juv. Sat. iii. 100.
ing her tongue in the midst of a moral reflection, by The nation is a company of players.
applying the tip of it to a patch! There is nothing which I desire more than a safe dangers, than that gaiety and airiness of temper
There is nothing which exposes a woman to greater and honourable peace, though at the same time I
It should be am very apprehensive of many ill consequences
that which are natural to most of the sex,
therefore the concern of every wise and virtuous may attend it. I do not mean in regard to our politics, but to our manners. What an inundation of woman to keep this sprightliness from degenerating ribands and brocades will break in upon us! What and behaviour of the French is to make the sex more
into levity. On the contrary, the whole discourse peals of laughter and impertinence shail we be exposed to! For the prevention of these great evils I fantastical, or (as they are pleased to term it) more could heartily wish that there was an act of parlia: discretion. To speak loud in public assemblies, to
awakened, than is consistent either with virtue or ment for probibiting the importation of French let every one hear you talk of things that should only fopperies. The female inhabitants of our island have already
be mentioned in private or in whisper, are looked received very strong impressions from this ludicrous upon as parts of a rafined education. At the same nation, though by the length of the war (as there is time a blush is unfashionable, and silence more illno evil which has not some good attending it) they discretion and modesty, which in all other ages and
bred than any thing that can be spoken. In short, are pretty well worn out and forgotten. I remember the time when some of our well-bred countrywomenments of the fair sex, are considered as the ingredi
countries have been regarded as the greatest ornakept their valet de chambre, because, forsooth, a man was much more handy about them than one of their ents of a narrow conversation, and family behaviour. own sex. I myself have seen one of these male Abi- and unfortunately placed myself under a woman of
Some years ago I was at the tragedy of Macbeth, gails tripping about the room with a looking-glass in his band, and combing his lady's hair a whole quality that is since dead, who, as I found by the morning together. Whether or no there was any A little before the rising of the curtain, she broke
noise she made, was newly returned from France. truth in the story of a lady's being got with child by out into a loud soliloquy, “When will the dear one of these her handmaids, I cannot tell; but I
witches enter ?” and immediately upon their first ap• The comedy of "The Comical Revenge : ar, Love in a pearance, asked a lady that sat three boxes from her Tub." by Sir George Etheridge, 1664.
on her right hand, if those witches were not charm
ing creatures. A little after, as Betterton was in one selves with it at one end of the coffee-house. It had of the finest speeches of the play, she shook her fan raised so much laughter among them before I had at ar.other lady who sat as far on her left hand, and observed what they were about, that I had not the told her with a whisper that might be heard all over courage to own it. The boy of the coffee-house, when the pit, “We must not expect to see Balloon to- they had done with it, carried it about in his hand, night.” Not long after, calling out to a young ba- asking every body if they had dropped a written ronet by his name, who sat three seats before me, paper ; but nobody challenging it, he was ordered by she asked him whether Macbeth's wife was still those merry gentlemen who had before perused it, alive; and before he could give an answer, fell a to get up into the auction pulpit, and read it to the talking of the ghost of Banquo. She had by this whole room, that if any one would own it, they might. time formed a little audience to herself, and fixed the The boy accordingly mounted the pulpit
, and with attention of all about her. But as I had a mind to a very audible voice read as follows: hear the play, I got out of the sphere of her imperti. Bence, and planted myself in one of the remotest corners of the pit.
Sir Roger de Coverley's country seat— Yes, for I This pretty childishness of behaviour is one of the hate long speeches-Query, if a good Christian may most refined parts of coquetry, and is not to be at- be a conjuror-Childermas-day, saltseller, housetained in perfection by ladies that do not travel for dog, screech-owl, cricket-Mr. Thomas Incle of their improvement. A natural and unconstrained London, in the good ship called the Achilles-Yabebaviour has something in it so agreeable, that it is rico-Ægrescitque medendo-Ghosts—The Lady's Do wonder to see people endeavouring after it. But Library-Lion by trade a tailor-Dromedary called at the same time it is so very hard to hit, when it is Bucephalus-Equipage the lady's summum bonumnot born with us, that people often make themselves Charles Lillie to be taken notice of-Short face a ridiculous in attempting it.
relief to envy-Redundancies in the three profesA very ingenious French author tells us, that the sions-King Latinus a recruit-Jew devouring a ladies of the court of France in his time thought it ham of bacon-Westminster-abbey-Grand Cairoill-breeding, and a kind of female pedantry, to pro- Procrastination-April fools-Bluc boars, red lions, nounce a hard word right; for which reason they hogs in armour-Enter a king and two fiddlers solus took frequent occasion to use hard words, that they — Admission into the Ugly club—Beauty how immight show a politeness in murdering them. He provable-Families of true and false humour-The farther adds, that a lady of some quality at court hav- parrot's school-mistress-Face half Pict half British ing accidentally made use of a hard word in a proper --No man to be a hero of a tragedy under six foot place, and pronounced it right, the whole assembly Club of sighers-Letters from flower-pots, elbow. was out of countenance for her.
chairs, tapestry-figures, lion, thunder - The bell I must however be so just to own, that there are rings to the puppet-show-Old woman with a beard many ladies who have travelled several thousands of married to a smock-faced boy-My next coat to be miles withoat being the worse for it, and have turned up with blue-Fable of tongs and gridironbrought bome with them all the modesty, discretion, Flower dyers-The soldier's prayer-Thank ye for and good sense that they went abroad with. As, on nothing, says the gallipot-Pactolus in stockings the contrary, there are great numbers of travelled with golden clocks to them—Bamboos, cudgels, ladies who have lived all their days within the smoke drum-sticks-Slip of my landlady's eldest daughter of London. I have known a woman that never was -The black mare with a star in her forehead-The out of the parish of St. James's, betray as many fo. barber's pole-Will Honeycomb's coat-pocketreign fopperies in her carriage, as she could have Cæsar's behaviour and my own in parallel circumgleaned in half the countries of Europe.-C. stances-Poem in patch-work-Nulli gravi est
percussus Achilles-The female conventicler-The
ogle-master. No. 46.] MONDAY, APRIL 23, 1711.
The reading of this paper made the whole coffeeNon bene junctarum discordia semina rerum. house very merry; some of them concluded it was
Ovid. Met: 1. i. ver. 9. written by a madman, and others by somebody that Tbe jarring seeds of ill-concerted things.
had been taking notes out of the Spectator. One When I want materials for this paper, it is my who had the appearance of a very substantial citicustom to go abroad in quest of game; and when I zen, told us, with several political winks and nods, meet any proper subject, I take the first opportunity that he wished there was no more in the paper than of setting down a hint of it upon paper. At the what was expressed in it: that for his part, he looked same time, I look into the letters of my correspond- upon the dromedary, the gridiron, and the barber's ents, and if I find any thing suggested in them that pole, to signify something more than what was may afford matter of speculation, I likewise enter a usually meant by those words: and that he thought minute of it in my collection of materials. By this the coffee-man could not do better than to carry the means I frequently carry about me a whole sheetful paper to one of the secretaries of state. He farther of hints, that would look like a rhapsody of non- added, that he did not like the name of the outlandsense to anybody but myself. There is nothing in ish man with the golden clock in his stockings. A them but obscurity and confusion, raving and incon- young Oxford scholar, who chanced to be with his sistency. In short, they are my speculations in the uncle at the coffee-house, discovered to us who this first principles, that (like the world in its chaos) are Pactolus was: and by that means turned the whole void of all light, distinction, and order.
scheme of this worthy citizen into ridicule. While About a week since there happened to me a very they were making their several conjectures upon odd accident, by reason of one of these my papers this innocent paper, I reached out my arm to the boy of minutes which I had accidentally dropped at as he was coming out of the pulpit, to give it me; Lloyd's coffee house, where the auctions are usually which he did accordingly. This drew
the eyes of kepi. Before I missed it, there were a cluster of the whole company upon me; but after having cast people who had found it, and were diverting them- a carsory glance over it, and shook iny head twice
or thrice at the reading of it, I twisted it into a all his works, after some very curious observations kind of match, and lighted my pipe with it. My upon laughter, concludes thus: “ The passion of profound silence, together with the steadiness of my laughter is nothing else but sudden glory arising countenance, and the gravity of my behaviour during from some sudden conception of some eminency in this whole transaction, raised a very loud laugh on ourselves, by comparison with the intisanities of all si-ies of me; but as I had escaped all suspicion others, or with our own formerly: for men laugh at of being the author, I was very well satisfied, and the follies of themselves past, when they conie sudapplying myself to my pipe and the Postman, took no denly to remembrance, except they bring with them farther notice of anything that had passed about me. any present dishonour."
My reader will find, that I have already made use According to this author, therefore, when we hear of above half the contents of the foregoing paper; a man laugh excessively, instead of saying he is and will easily suppose, that those subjects which very merry, we ought to tell him he is very proud. are yet untouched were such provisions as I had And indeed, if we look into the bottom of this matmade for his future entertainment. But as I have ter, we shall meet with many observations to confirm been unluckily prevented by this accident, I shall us in this opinion. Every one laughs at somebody only give him the letters which related to the two that is in an inferior state of folly to himself. It was last hints. The first of them I should not have pub- formerly the custom for every great house in Euge lished, were I not informed that there is many a land to keep a tame fool dressed in petticoats, that husband who suffers very much in his private affairs the heir of the family might have an opportunity of by the indiscreet zeal of such a partner as is here- joking upon him, and diverting himself with his abafter mentioned; to whom I may apply the bar. surdities. For the same reason, idiots are still in barous inscription quoted by the Bishop of Salis- request in most of the courts of Germany, where bury in his travels : Dum nimia pia est facta est im- there is not a prince of any great magnificence, who pia. "Through too much piety she became impious.” has not two or three dressed, distinguished, undis"Sir,
puted fools in his retinue, whom the rest of the courI am one of those unhappy men that are plagued tiers are always breaking their jests upon. with a gospel gossip, so common among dissenters The Dutch, who are more famous for their indus. (especially friends). Lectures in the morning, try and application than for wit and humour, hang chureh-meetings at noon, and preparation-sermons up in several of their streets what they call the sign at night, take up so much of her time, it is very rare of the Gaper, that is, the head of au idiot dressed in she knows what we have for dinner, unless when the a cap and bells, and gaping in a most immoderate preacher is to be at it. With him come a tribe, all manner. This is a standing jest at Amsterdam. brothers and sisters it seems; while others, really Thus every one diverts himself with some person such, are deemed no relations. If at any time I or other that is below him in point of understandhave her company alone, she is a mere sermon pop- ing, and triumphs in the superiority of his genius, gun, repeating and discharging texts, proofs, and whilst he has such objects of derision before his eyes. applications so perpetually, that however weary I Mr. Dennis has very well expressed this in a couple may go to bed, the noise in my head will not let me of humorous lines, which are part of a translation of sleep till towards morning. The misery of my case, a satire in Monsieur Boileau : and great numbers of such sufferers, plead your pity Thus one fool lolls his tongue out at anothər, and speedy relief; otherwise 1 must expect, in a little And shakes his empty noddle at his brother. time, to be lectured, preached, and prayed into want, Mr. Hobbs’s reflection gives us the reason why the unless the happiness of being sooner talked to death insignificant people above-mentioned are stirrers up prevent it.
“ I am, &c. of laughter among men of a gross taste: but as the
“R. G.” more understanding part of mankind do not find The second letter, relative to the ogling-master, their risibility affected by such ordinary objects, it runs thus :
may be worth the while to examine into the several “ MR. SPECTATOR,
provocatives of laughter in men of superior sense “I am an Irish gentleman that have travelled and knowledge. many years for my improvement; during which time In the first place I must observe, that there is a I have accomplished myself in the whole art of set of merry drolls, whom the common people of all ogling, as it is at present practised in the polite countries admire, and seem to love so weil, “ that nations of Europe. Being thus qualified, I intend, they could eat them,” according to the old proverb: by the advice of my friends, to set up for an ogling- I mean those circumforaneous wits whom every namaster. I teach the church ogle in the morning, tion calls by the name of that dish of meat which and the play-house ogle by candle-light. I have it loves best: in Holland they are termed Pickled also brought over with me a new flying ogle fit for Herrings; in France, Jean Pottages; in Italy, the ring; which I teach in the dusk of the evening, Macaronies; and in Great Britain, Jack Puddings. or in any hour of the day, by darkening one of my These merry wags, from whatsoever food they receive windows. I have a manuscript by me called The their titles, that they may make their audiences Complete Ogler, which I shall make ready to show laugh, always appear in a fool's coat, and commit on any occasion. In the mean time, I beg you will such blunders and mistakes in every step they take, publish the substance of this letter in an advertise- and every word they utter, as those who listen to
them would be ashamed of. C.
&c.” But this little triumph of the understanding, under
the disguise of laughter, is no where more visible No. 47.) TUESDAY, APRIL 24, 1711.
than in that custom which prevails every where Ride, si sapis
among us on the first day of the present month, when
every body takes it into his head to make as many Laugh, if you are wise.
fools as he can. In proportion as there are more MR. HOBBs, in his Discourse of Human Nature, follies discovered, so there is more laughter on this wbich, in my humble opinion, is much the best of day than on any other in the whole year. A neigh
boar of mine, who is a haberdasher by trade, and a I am not only witty in myself, but the cause that wit very shallow conceited fellow, makes his boast that is in other men.”-C. for these ten years successively he has not made less than a hundred April fools. My landlady had a falling out with him about a fortnight ago, for sending No. 48.) WEDNESDAY, APRIL 25, 1711. every one of her children upon some sleeveless
Per multas aditum sibi sæpe figuras errand, as she terms it. Her eldest son went to buy Repperit
Ovid. Met. xiv. 652. a hal peudy-worth of inkle at a shoemaker's; the Through various shapes he often finds access. eldest daughter was dispatched half a mile to see a
My correspondents take it ill if I do not, from monster; and in short the whole family of innocent time to time, let them know I have received their children made April fools. Nay, my landlady her- letters. The most effectual way will be to publish self did not escape him. This empty fellow has
some of them that are upon important subjects; laughed upon these conceits ever since.
which I shall introduce with a letter of my own This art of wit is weil enough, when confined to that I writ a fortnight ago to a fraternity who thought one day in a twelvemonth; but there is an ingenious fit to make me an honorary member. tribe of men sprung up of late years, who are for making April fools every day in the year. These To the President and Fellows of the Ugly Club. gentlemen are commonly distinguished by the name “MAY IT PLEASE YOUR DEFORMITIES. of Biters: a race of men that are perpetually em- “I have received the notification of the honour ployed in laughing at those mistakes which are of
you have done me, in admitting me into your sotheir own production.
ciety. I acknowledge my want of merit, and for Thus we see, in proportion as one man is more that reason shall endeavour at all times to make up refined than another, he chooses his fool out of a my own failures, by introducing and recommending lower or higher class of mankind; or to speak in a to the club persons of more undoubted qualificatuore philosophical language, that secret elation or tions than I can pretend to. I shall next week pride of heart which is generally called laughter, come down in the stage-coach, in order to take my arises in hin, from his comparing himself with an seat at the board; and shall bring with me a canobject below him, whether it so happens that it be a didate of each sex. The persons I shall present to natural or an artificial fool. It is, indeed, very possible that the persons we laugh at may in the you, are an old beau and a modern Pict. If they
are not so cminently gifted by nature as our assemmain of their characters be much wiser men than bly expects, give me leave to say their acquired ug; ourselves; but if they would have us laugh at them, liness is greater than any that has ever yet appeared they must fall short of us in those respects which stir before you. The beau has varied his dress every up this passion.
day in his life for these thirty years past, and still I am afraid I shall appear too abstracted in my added to the deformity he was born with. The speculations, if I show, that when a man of wit Pict has still greater merit towards us, and has, ever makes us laugh, it is by betraying some oddness or since she came to years of discretion, deserted the infirmity in his own character, or in the representa handsome party, and taken all possible pains to action which he makes of others; and that when we quire the face in which I shall present her to your laugh at a brute, or even at an inanimate thing, it is consideration and favour. at some action or incident that bears a remote analogy
“ I am, Gentlemen, to any blunder or absurdity in reasonable creatures.
* Your inost obliged humble servant, But to come into common life; I shall pass by
“THE Spectator." the consideration of those stage coxcombs that are
“ P.S. I desire to know whether you admit peoable to shake a whole audience, and take notice of a particular sort of men who are such provokers of ple of quality.” Thirth in conversation, that it is impossible for a club “MR. SPECTATOR,
April 17. or merry meeting to subsist without them-I mean “ To show you there are among us of the vain those honest gentlemen that are always exposed to weak sex, some that have honesty and fortitude the wit and raillery of their well-wishers and compa- enough to dare to be ugly, and willing to be thought pions; that are pelted by men, women, and children, so, I apply myself to you, to beg your interest and friends and foes, and in a word, stand as butts in recommendation to the ugly club. If my own word conversation, for every one to shoot at that pleases. will not be taken (though in this case a woman's I know several of these butts who are men of wit and may), I can bring credible witnesses of my qualifisense, though by some odd turn of humour, some un-cations for their company, whether they insist upon lucky cast in their person or behaviour, they have hair, forehead, eyes, cheeks, or chin; to which I always the misfortune to make the company merry. must add, that I find it easier to lean to my left The truth of it is, a man is not qualified for a butt, side than to my right. I hope I am in all respects who has not a good deal of wit and vivacity, even in agreeable; and for humour and mirth, I will keep the ridiculous sile of his character. A stupid butt up to the president himself. All the favour I will is only fit for the conversation of ordinary people : pretend to is, that as I am the first woman who has men of wit require one that will give them play, and appeared desirous of good company and agreeable bestir himself in the absurd part of his behaviour. A conversation, I may take, and keep, the upper end of butt with these accomplishments frequently gets the the table. And indeed I think they want a carver, laugh on his side, and turns the ridlicule upon him which I can be, after as ugly a manner as they could that attacks him. Sir John Falstaff was a hero of wish. I desire your thoughts of my claim as soon this species, and gives a good description of him- as you can. Add to my features the length of my self in his capacity of a butt, after the following face, which is a full half-yard; though I never knew
“Men of all sorts,” says that merry the reason of it till you gave one for the shortness knight, “ take a pride to gird at me. The brain of of yours. If I knew a name ugly enough to belong man is not able to invent any thing that tends to to the above described face, I would feign one; but, laughter more than I inyent, or is invented on me. to my unspeakable misfortune, my name is the only
disagreeable prettiness about me; so prythee make could not be contented to act heathen warriors, and one for me that signifies all the deformity in the such fellows as Alexander, but must presume to world. You understand Latin, but be sure bring it make a mockery of one of the quorum. in with my being, in the sincerity of my heart, R.
* Your servant." "Your most frightful admirer and servant,
No. 49.] THURSDAY, APRIL 26, 1711. “ MR. SPECTATOR,
Hominem pagina nostra sapit. Mart. "I read your discourse upon affectation, and
Men and manners I describe. from the remarks made in it, examined my own heart so strictly, that I thought I had found out its It is very natural for a man who is not turned for most secret avenues, with a resolution to be aware mirthful meetings of men, or assemblies of the fair of them for the future. But, alas ! to my sorrow I sex, to delight in that sort of conversation which we now understand that I have several follies which I find in coffee-houses. Here a man of my temper is do not know the root of. I am an old fellow, and in his element; for if he cannot talk, he can still extremely troubled with the gout; but having al. be more agreeable to his company, as well as pleased ways a strong vanity towards being pleasing in the in himself, in being only a hearer. It is a secret eyes of women, I never have a moment's ease, but I known but to few, yet of no small use in the conduct am mounted in high-heeled shoes, with a glazed wax- of life, that when you fall into a man's conversation, leather instep. Two days after a severe fit, I was the first thing you should consider is, whether he has invited to a friend's house in the city, where I be a greater inclination to hear you, or that you should lieved I should see ladies; and with my usual com- hear him. The latter is the more general desire, and plaisance, crippled myself to wait upon them. A ! know very able flatterers that never speak a word very sumptuous table, agreeable company, and kind in praise of the persons from whom they obtain daily reception, were but so many importunate adóditions favours, but still practise a skilful attention to what. to the torment I was in. A gentleman of the fa- ever is uttered by those with whom they converse. mily observed my condition; and soon after the We are very curious to observe the behaviour of queen's health, he in the presence of the whole great men and their clients; but the same passions company, with his own hands, degraded me into an and interests move men in lower spheres; and I old pair of his own shoes. "This operation before (that have nothing else to do but make observations) fine ladies, to me (who am by nature a coxcomb) was see in every parish, street, lape, and alley, of this suffered with the same reluctance as they admit the populous city, a little potentate that has his court help of men in the greatest extremity. "The return and his flatterers, who lay snares for his affection of ease made me forgive the rough obligation laid and favour by the same arts that are practised upon upon me, which at that time relieved my body from men in higher stations. a distemper, and will my mind for ever from a folly. In the place I most usually frequent, men differ For the charity received, I return my thanks this rather in the time of day in which they make a way. “ Your most huinble servant." figure, than in any real greatness above one an
other. I, who am at the coffee-house at six in the “Sir,
Epping, April 18. morning, know that my friend Beaver, the haber. “We have your papers here the morning they dasher, has a levee of more undissembled friends and come out, and we have been very well entertained admirers than most of the courtiers or generals of with your last, upon the false ornaments of persons Great Britain. Every man about him has, perhaps, who represent neroes in a tragedy. What made a newspaper in his hand; but none can pretend to your speculation come very seasonably among us is, guess what step will be taken in any one court of that we have now at this place a company of strollers, Europe, till Mr. Beaver has thrown down his pipe, who are far from offending in the impertinent splen- and declares what measures the allies must enter dour of the drama. They are so far from falling into upon this new posture of affairs. Our coffeeinto these false gallantries, that the stage is here in house is near one of the inns of court, and Beaver in its original situation of a cart. Alexander the has the audience and admiration of his neighbours Great was acted by a fellow in a paper cravat. The from six till within a quarter of eight, at which time next day the Earl of Essex seemed to have no dis- he is interrupted by the students of the house ; some tress but his poverty; and my Lord Foppington the of whom are ready dressed for Westminster at eight same morning wanted any better means to show him in a morning, with faces as busy as if they were reself a fop, than by wearing stockings of different tained in every cause there ; and others come in colours. "In a word, though they have bad a full their night-gowns to saunter away their time, as if barn for many days together, our itinerants are still they never designed to go thither. I do not know 80 wretchedly poor, that without you can prevail to that I meet in any of my walks, objects which move send us the furniture you forbid at the playhouse, both my spleen and laughter so effectually, as those the heroes appear only like sturdy beggars, and the young fellows at the Grecian, Squire's, Searle's, and heroines gipsies. We have had but one part which all other coffee-houses adjacent to the law, who rise was performed and dressed with propriety, and that early for no other purpose but to publish their laziwas Justice Clodpate. This was so well done, that ness. One would think these young virtuosos take it offended Mr. Justice Overdo, who, in the midst a gay cap and slippers, with a scart and party-coof our whole audience, was (hke Quixote in the loured gown, to be the ensigns of dignity, for the puppet-show) so highly provoked, that he told them, vain things approach each other with an air, which if they would move compassion, it should be in sbews they regard one another for their vestments. their own persons, and not in the characters of dis- I have observed, that the superiority among these tressed princes and potentates. He told them, if proceeds from an opinion of gallantry and fashion. they were so good at finding the way to people's The gentleman in the strawberry sash, who presides hearts, they should do it at the end of bridges or so much over the rest, bas, it seems, subscribed to church porches, in their proper vocation of beggars. every opera this last winter, and is supposed to reThis, the justice says, they must expect, since they ceive favours from onc of the actresses.