improprieties: and the lover who swings the lady is to tie her clothes very close with his hatband, before she admits him to throw up her heels. "Now, Mr. Spectator, except you can note these wantonnesses in their beginnings, and bring us sober girls into observation, there is no help for it; we must swim with the tide; the coquettes are too powerful a party for us. To look into the merit of a regular and well-behaved woman is a slow thing. A loose trivial song gains their affections, when a wise homily is not attended to. There is no other way but to make war upon them, or we must go over to them. As for my part, I will show all the world it is not for want of charms that I stand so long unasked; and if you do not take measures for the immediate redress of us rigids, as the fellows call us, I can move with a speaking mien, can look significantly, can lisp, can trip, can loll, can start, can blush, can rage, can weep, if I must do it, and can be frightened as agreeably as any she in England. All which is humbly submitted to your spectatorial consideration, with all humility, by T. "Your most humble Servant, No. 493.] THURSDAY, SEPT. 25, 1712. dertakers has your business in hand, you may be sick, absent in town or country, and the patron shall be worried, or you prevail. I remember to have been shown a gentleman some years ago, who punished a whole people for their facility in giving their credentials. This person had belonged to a regiment which did duty in the West Indies, and, by the mortality of the place, happened to be com manding-officer in the colony. He oppressed his subjects with great frankness, till he became sensi ble that he was heartily hated by every man under his command. When he had carried his point to be thus detestable, in a pretended fit of dishumour, and feigned uneasiness of living where he found he was so universally unacceptable, he communicated to the chief inhabitants a design he had to return for England, provided they would give him ample testimonials of their approbation. The planters came into it to a man, and, in proportion to his deserving the quite contrary, the words justice, generosity, and courage, were inserted in his commission, not omitting the general good-liking of people of all conditions in the colony. The gentleman returns for England, and within a few months after cane back to them their governor, ou the strength of their own testimonials. Such a rebuke as this cannot indeed happen to easy recommenders, in the ordinary course of things, from one hand to another; but how would a gian bear to have it said to him, "The person I took into confidence on the credit you gave him, has proved false, unjust, and has not answered any way the character you gave me of him?" I cannot but conceive very good hopes of that rake Jack Toper of the Temple, for an honest serupulousness in this point. A friend of his meeting with a servant that had formerly lived with Jack, and having a mind to take him, sent to him to know what faults the fellow had, since he could not please such a careless fellow as he was. His answer was as follows: “SIR, A rascal prais'd, you make his faults your own.-ANON, It is no unpleasant matter of speculation to consider the recommendatory epistles that pass round this town from hand to hand, and the abuse people put upon one another in that kind. It is indeed come to that pass, that, instead of being the testimony of merit in the person recommended, the true reading of a letter of this sort is, "The bearer hereof is so uneasy to me, that it will be an act of charity in you to take him off my hands; whether you prefer him or not, it is all one; for I have no manner of kindness for him, or obligation to him or his; and do what you please as to that." As negligent as men are in this respect, a point of honour is concerned in it; and there is nothing a man should be more ashamed of, than passing a worthless creature into the service or interests of a man who has never injured you. The women indeed are a little too keen in their resentments to trespass often this way but you shall sometimes know, that the mistress and the maid shall quarrel, and give each other very free language, and at last the lady shall be pacified to turn her out of doors, and give her a very good word to any body else. Hence it is that you see, in a year and half's time, the same face a domestic in all parts of the town. Good-breeding and good-nature lead people in a great measure to this injustice: when suitors of no consideration will have confidence enough to press upon their superiors, those in power are tender of speaking the exceptions they have against them, and are mortgaged into promises out of their impatience of importunity. In this latter case, it would be a very useful inquiry to know the history of recommendations. There are, you must know, certain abettors of this way of torment, who make it a profession to mauage the affairs of candidates. These gentlemen let out their impudence to their clients, and supply any defective recommendation, by informing how I shall end this discourse with a letter of recomsuch and such a man is to be attacked. They will mendation from Horace to Claudius Nero. You tell you, get the least scrap from Mr. Such-a-one, will see in that letter a slowness to ask a favour, & and leave the rest to them. When one of these un-strong reason for being unable to deny his good "Thomas that lived with me was turned away be cause he was too good for me. You know I live in taverns; he is an orderly sober rascal, and thinks much to sleep in an entry until two in the morning He toid me one day, when he was dressing me, that he wondered I was not dead before now, since I went to dinner in the evening, and went to supper at two in the morning. We were coming down Essex-street one night a little flustered, and I was giving him the word to alarm the watch; he had the impudence to tell me it was against the law You that are married, and live one day after another the same way, and so on the whole week, I dare say will like him, and he will be glad to have his meat in due season. The fellow is certainly very honest. My service to your lady. Yours, "J.T." Now this was very fair dealing. Jack knew verv well, that though the love of order made a man very awkward in his equipage, it was a valuable quality among the queer people who live by rule; and had too much good sense and good-nature to let the fellow starve, because he was not fit to attend his vivacities. "SIR, "To CLAUDIUS NERO. very word any longer, and that it is a service to the per- ber hung with black, where he entertained himself son to whom he recommends, to comply with what for some time by the glimmering of a taper, until is asked: all which are necessary circumstances, at length the head of the college came out to him both in justice and good-breeding, if a man would from an inner room, with half a dozen night-caps ask so as to have reason to complain of a denial; upon his head, and a religious horror in his counteand indeed a man should not in strictness ask other-nance. The young man trembled: but his fears wise. In hopes the authority of Horace, who per- increased, when instead of being asked what profectly understood how to live with great men, may gress he had made in learning, he was examined have a good effect towards amending this facility how he abounded in grace. His Latin and Greek in people of condition, and the confidence of those stood him in little stead; he was to give an account who apply to them without merit, I have translated only of the state of his soul; whether he was of the the epistle. number of the elect; what was the occasion of the conversion; upon what day of the month, and hour of the day it happened; how it was carried on, and "Septimius, who waits upon you with this, is when completed. The whole examination was sumwell acquainted with the place you are pleased to med up with one short question, namely, whether he allow me in your friendship. For when he be- was prepared for death? The boy, who had been seeches me to recommend him to your notice, in bred up by honest parents, was frightened out of his such a manner as to be received by you, who are de- wits at the solemnity of the proceeding, and espe licate in the choice of your friends and domestics, cially by the last dreadful interrogatory: so that, he knows our intimacy, and understands my ability upon making his escape out of this house of mournto serve him better than I do myself. I have de-ing, he could never be brought a second time to the fended myself against his ambition to be yours, as examination, as not being able to go through the long as I possibly could; but fearing the imputa- terrors of it. tion of hiding my power in you out of mean and selfish considerations, I am at last prevailed upon to give you this trouble. Thus to avoid the appearance of a greater fault, I have put on this confidence. If you can forgive this trangression of modesty in behalf of a friend, receive this gentleman into your interests and friendship, and take it from me that he is an honest and a brave man." No. 494.] FRIDAY, SEPTEMBER 26, 1712. Agritudinem laudare, unam rem maxime detestabilem, quorum est tandem philosophorum?-CICERO. What kind of philosophy is it to extol melancholy, the most detestable thing in nature? ABOUT an age ago it was the fashion in England for every one that would be thought religious, to throw as much sanctity as possible into his face, and in particular to abstain from all appearances of mirth and pleasantry, which were looked upon as the marks of a carnal mind. The saint was of a sorrowful countenance, and generally eaten up with spleen and melancholy. A gentleman, who was lately a great ornament to the learned world, has diverted me more than once with an account of the reception which he met with from a very famous independent minister, who was head of a college* in those times. This gentleman was then a young adventurer in the republic of letters, and just fitted out for the university with a good cargo of Latin and Greek. His friends were resolved that he should try his fortune at an election which was drawing near in the college, of which the independent minister whom I have before mentioned was governor. The youth, according to custom, waited on him in order to be examined. He was received at the door by a servant who was one of that gloomy generation that were then in fashion. He conducted him, with great silence and seriousness, to a long gallery, which was darkened at noon-day, and had only single candle burning in it. After a short stay in this melancholy apartinent, he was led into a cham The gentleman here alluded to was Anthony Hen'ey, Ex, who died much lamented in Aug. 1711. The head of a college was Dr. Thomas Goodwin, S.T.P., President of Magdalen College in Oxford, and one of the aswurbly of divines who sat at Westminster. a Notwithstanding this general form and outside of religion is pretty well worn out among us, there are many persons who, by a natural uncheerfulness of heart, mistaken notions of piety, or weakness of understanding, love to indulge this uncomfortable way of life, and give up themselves a prey to grief and melancholy. Superstitious fears and groundless scruples cut them off from the pleasures of conversation, and all those social entertainments, which are not only innocent but laudable: as if mirth was made for reprobates, and cheerfulness of heart denied those who are the only persons that have a proper title of it. He Sombrius is one of these sons of sorrow. thinks himself obliged in duty to be sad and disconsolate. He looks on a sudden fit of laughter as a breach of his baptismal vow. An innocent jest startles him like blasphemy. Tell him of one who is advanced to a title of honour, he lifts up his hands and eyes; describe a public ceremony, he shakes his head; show him a gay equipage, he blesses himself. All the little ornaments of life are pomps and vanities. Mirth is wanton, and wit profane. He is scandalized at youth for being lively, and at childhood for being playful. He sits at a christening, or a marriage-feast, as at a funeral; sighs at the conclusion of a merry story, and grows devout when the rest of the company grow pleasant. After all, Sombrius is a religious man, and would have behaved himself very properly, had he lived when Christianity was under a general persecution. I would by no means presume to tax such characters with hypocrisy, as is done too frequently; that being a vice which I think none but He who knows the secrets of men's hearts should pretend to discover in another, where the proofs of it do not amount to a demonstration. On the contrary, as there are many excellent persons who are weighed down by this habitual sorrow of heart, they rather deserve our compassion than our reproaches. I think, however, they would do well to consider whether such a behaviour does not deter men from a religious life, by representing it as an unsociable state, that extinguishes all joy and gladness, darkens the face of nature, and destroys the relish of being itself. I have, in former papers, shown how great a tendency there is to cheerfulness in religion, and how such a frame of mind is not only the most lovely, but the most commendable in a virtuous person. In short, those who represent religion in so unami able a light, are like the spies sent by Moses to make a discovery of the land of promise, when by their reports they discouraged the people from entering upon it. Those who show us the joy, the cheerfulness, the good-humour, that naturally spring up in this happy state, are like the spies bringing along with them the clusters of grapes, and delicious fruits, that might invite their companions into the pleasant country which produced them.* An eminent pagan writert has made a discourse to show that the atheist, who denies a God, does him less dishonour than the man who owns his being, but at the same time believes him to be cruel, hard to please, and terrible to human nature. "For my own part," says he, "I would rather it should be said of me, that there was never any such man as Plutarch, than that Plutarch was ill-natured, capricious, or inhuman.” If we may believe our logicians, man is distinguished from all other creatures by the faculty of laughter. He has a heart capable of mirth, and naturally disposed to it. It is not the business of virtue to extirpate the affections of the mind, but to regulate them. It may moderate and restrain, but was not designed to banish gladness from the heart of man. Religion contracts the circle of our pleasures, but leaves it wide enough for her votaries to expatiate in. The contemplation of the Divine Being, and the exercise of virtue, are, in their own nature, so far from excluding all gladness of heart, that they are perpetual sources of it. In a word, the true spirit of religion cheers, as well as composes, the soul; it banishes indeed all levity of behaviour, all vicious and dissolute mirth; but in exchange fills the mind with a perpetual serenity, uninterrupted cheerfulness, and an habitual inclination to please others, as well as to be pleased in itself.-O. No. 495.] SATURDAY SEPT. 27, 1712. Duris ut ilex tonsa bipennibus, Pér damna, per cædes, ab ipso Ducit opes animumque ferro.HOR. 4 Od. iv. 57. At ev'ry wound they sprout and grow: And by their ruins they revive.-ANON. three views. First, with regard to their number; secondly, their dispersion; and thirdly, their adhe rence to their religion: and afterward endeavour to show, first, what natural reasons, and, secondly, what providential reasons, may be assigned for these three remarkable particulars. The Jews are looked upon by many to be as numerous at present, as they were formerly in the land of Canaan. This is wonderful, considering the dreadful slaughter made of them under some of the Roman emperors, which historians describe by the death of many hundred thousands in a war; and the innumerable massacres and persecutions they have undergone in Turkey, as well as in all Christian nations in the world. The rabbins, to express the great havoc which has been sometimes made of them, tell us after their usual manner of hyperbole, that there were such torrents of holy blood shed, as carried rocks of a hundred yards in circumference above three miles into the sea. Their dispersion is the second remarkable particular in this people. They swarm over all the East, and are settled in the remotest parts of China. They are spread through most of the nations in Europe and Africa, and many families of them are esta blished in the West Indies; not to mention who nations bordering on Prester-John's country, and discovered in the inner parts of America, if we may give any credit to their own writers. Their firm adherence to their religion is no less remarkable than their numbers and dispersion, especially considering it as persecuted or contemned over the face of the whole earth. This is likewise the more remarkable, if we consider the frequent apostasies of this people, when they lived under their kings in the land of promise, and within sight of their temple. If in the next place we examine what may be the natural reasons for these three particulars which we find in the Jews, and which are not to be found in any other religion or people, I can, in the first place, attribute their numbers to nothing but their constant employment, their abstinence, their exemption from wars, and above all, their frequent marriages; for they look on celibacy as an accursed state, and generally are married before twenty, as hoping the Messiah may descend from them. The dispersion of the Jews into all the nations of the earth is the second remarkable particular of that people, though not so hard to be accounted for. They were always in rebellions and tumults while they had the temple and holy city in view, for which reason they have often been driven out of their old habitations in the land of promise. They have as often been banished out of most other places where they have settled, which must very much disperse and scatter a people, and oblige them to seek a livelihood where they can find it. Besides, the whole people is now a race of such merchants as are wanderers by profession, and, at the same time, are in most, if not all places, incapable of either lands or offices that might engage them to make any part As I am one who, by my profession, am obliged to look into all kinds of men, there are none whom I consider with so much pleasure, as those who have any thing new or extraordinary in their characters, or ways of living. For this reason, I have often amused myself with speculations on the race of people called Jews, many of whom I have met with in most of the considerable towns which I have passed through in the course of my travels. They are, indeed, so disseminated through all the trading parts of the world, that they are become the instruments by which the most distant nations converse with one another, and by which mankind are knit together in a general correspondence. They are like the pegs and nails in a great building, which, though they are This dispersion would probably have lost their but little valued in themselves, are absolutely neces-its constitution: for they are to live all in a body, religion, had it not been secured by the strength of sary to keep the whole frame together. That I may not fall into any common beaten tracks of observation, I shall consider this people in of the world their home. and generally within the same enclosure; to marry among themselves, and to eat no meats that are not killed or preserved their own way. This shuts them out from all table conversation, and the most agreeable intercourses of life; and, by consequence, ex cludes them from the most probable means of con-pleasures of life in his decay of appetite and inclination to them, his son must have a much uneasier version. If, in the last place, we consider what providen- task to resist the impetuosity of growing desires. tial reasons may be assigned for these three parti-The skill therefore should methinks be, to let a son culars, we shall find that their numbers, dispersion, want no lawful diversion, in proportion to his future and adherence to their religion, have furnished fortune, and the figure he is to make in the world. every age, and every nation of the world, with theThe first step towards virtue that I have observed, strongest arguments for the Christian faith, not only as these very particulars are foretold of them, but as they themselves are the depositories of these, and all the other prophecies, which tend to their own confusion. Their number furnishes us with a sufficient cloud of witnesses that attest the truth of the old Bible. Their dispersion spreads these witnesses through all parts of the world. The adherence to their religion makes their testimony unquestionable. Had the whole body of Jews been converted to Christianity, we should certainly have thought all the prophecies of the Old Testament, that relate to the coming and history of our blessed Saviour, forged by Christians, and have looked upon them, with the prophecies of the Sibyls, as made many years after the events they pretended to foretel.-O. in young men of condition that have run into excesses, has been, that they had a regard to their quality and reputation in the management of their vices. Narrowness in their circumstances has made many youths, to supply themselves as debauchees, commence cheats and rascals. The father who allows his son to the utmost ability avoids this latter evil, which as to the world is much greater than the former. But the contrary practice has prevailed so much among some men, that I have known them deny them what was merely necessary for education suitable to their quality. Poor young Antonio is a lamentable instance of ill conduct in this kind. The young man did not want natural talents; but the father of him was a coxcomb, who affected being a fine gentleman so unmercifully, that he could not endure, in his sight, or the frequent mention of one, who was his son, growing into manhood, and thrust No. 496.1 MONDAY, SEPTEMBER 29, 1712. ing him out of the gay world. I have often thought Gnatum pariter uti his decuit, aut etiam amplius, the father took a secret pleasure, in reflecting that, when that fine house and seat came into the next hands, it would revive his memory, as a person who Your son ought to have shared in these things, because youth rusticity and ignorance of his successor. Certain it knew how to enjoy them, from observation of the is best suited to the enjoyment of them. “MR. SPECTATOR, is, that a man may, if he will, let his heart close to the having no regard to any thing but his dear self, even with exclusion of his very dear children. I recommend this subject to your consideration, and am, Sir, "Your most humble Servant, "MR. SPECTATOR, "T. B." Loudon, Sept. 26, 1712. "THOSE ancients who were the most accurate in their remarks on the genius and temper of mankind, by considering the various bent and scope of our actions, throughout the progress of life, have with great exactness allotted inclinations and objects of desire particular to every stage, according to the different circumstances of our conversation and fortune through the several periods "I am just come from Tunbridge, and have since of it. Hence they were disposed easily to excuse my return read Mrs. Matilda Mohair's letter to you. those excesses which might possibly arise from a too She pretends to make a mighty story about the dieager pursuit of the affections more immediately version of swinging in that place. What was done, proper to each state. They indulged the levity of was only among relations, and no man swung any childhood with tenderness, overlooked the gaiety of woman who was not second cousin at furthest. She youth with good nature, tempered the forward am- is pleased to say, care was taken that the gallants bition and impatience of ripened manhood with dis-tied the ladies' legs before they were wafted into the cretion, and kindly imputed the tenacious avarice air. Since she is so spiteful, I will tell you the plain of old men to their want of relish of any other enjoyment. Such allowances as these were no less advantageous to common society than obliging to particular persons; for, by maintaining a decency and regularity in the course of life, they supported the dignity of human nature, which then suffers the greatest violence when the order of things is inverted; and in nothing is it more remarkably vilified and ridiculous, than when feebleness preposterously attempts to adorn itself with that outward pomp and lustre, which serve only to set off the bloom of youth with better advantage. I was insensibly carried into reflections of this nature, by just now meeting Paulino (who is in his climacteric) bedecked with the utmost splendour of dress and equipage, and giving an unbounded loose to all manner of pleasure, whilst his only son is debarred all innocent diversion, and may be seen frequently solacing himself in the Mall with no other attendance than one antiquated servant of his father's for a companion and director. It is a monstrous want of reflection, that a man cannot consider, that when he cannot resign the truth. There was so much nicety observed, since we were all, as I just now told you, near relations: but Mrs. Mohair herself has been swung there, and she invents all this malice, because it was observed she has crooked legs, of which I was an eye-witness. "Your humble Servant, "RACHEL SHOESTRING." Tunbridge, Sept. 26, 1712. "MR. SPECTATOR, Mrs. Mohair's letter. It is an invention of her own "P. S. She has crooked legs." where he was; and the general's presence was never necessary anywhere, but where he had placed himself at the first disposition, except that accident happened from extraordinary efforts of the enemy that it never fell out from failure in his own troops. which he could not foresee; but it was remarkable It must be confessed the world is just so much out of order, as an unworthy person possesses what should be in the direction of him who has better pretensions to it. No. 497.] TUESDAY, SEPTEMBER 30, 1712. it so far, that, for the greater show of their pro A cunning old fox this! Instead of such a conduct as this old fellow used ever happened among mankind have arose from the to describe in his general, all the evils which have wanton disposition of the favours of the powerful. It is generally all that men of modesty and virtue can do, to fall in with some whimsical turn in a great man, to make way for things of real and absolute service. In the time of Don Sebastian of Portugal, or some time since, the first minister would let nothing come near him but what bore the most profound face of wisdom and gravity. They carried found knowledge, a pair of spectacles tied on their noses, with a black riband round their heads, was what completed the dress of those who made their court at his levee, and none with naked noses were admitted to his presence. A blunt honest fellow, who had a command in the train of artillery, had attempted to make an impression upon the porter, day after day in vain, until at length he made his appearance in a very thoughtful dark suit of clothes, and two pair of spectacles on at once. He was conducted from room to room, with great deference, to the minister; and, carrying on the farce of the place, he told his excellency that he had pretended in this manner to be wiser than he really was, but with no ill intention; but he was honest Such-aone of the train, and he came to tell him that they wanted wheelbarrows and pickaxes. The thing happened not to displease, the great man was seen to smile, and the successful officer was reconducted with the same profound ceremony out of the house. A FAVOUR Well bestowed is almost as great an honour to him who confers it as to him who receives it. What indeed makes for the superior reputation of the patron in this case is, that he is always surrounded with specious pretences of unworthy candidates, and is often alone in the kind inclination he has towards the well-deserving. Justice is the first quality in the man who is in a post of direction; and I remember to have heard an old gentleman talk of the civil wars, and in his relation give an account of a general officer, who with this one quality, without any shining endowments, became so popularly beloved and honoured, that all decisions between man and man were laid before him by the parties concerned, in a private way; and they would lay by their animosities implicitly, if he bid them be friends, or submit themselves in the wrong without reluctance, if he said it, without waiting the judgment of courts-martial. His manner was to When Leo X. reigned pope of Rome, his bolikeep the dates of all commissions in his closet, and ness, though a man of sense, and of an excellent wholly dismiss from the service such who were de- taste of letters, of all things affected fools, buffoons, ficient in their duty; and after that took care to humourists, and coxcombs. Whether it were from prefer according to the order of battle. His fami- vanity, and that he enjoyed no talents in other men liars were his entire friends, and could have no in- but what were inferior to him, or whatever it was, terested views in courting his acquaintance; for his he carried it so far, that his whole delight was in affection was no step to their preferment, though it finding out new fools, and, as our phrase is, playing was to their reputation. By this means, a kind as- them off, and making them show themselves to adpect, a salutation, a smile, and giving out his hand, vantage. A priest of his former acquaintance sufhad the weight of what is esteemed by vulgar minds fered a great many disappointments in attempting more substantial. His business was very short, and to find access to him in a regular character, until at he who had nothing to do but justice, was never last in despair he retired from Rome, and returned affronted with a request of a familiar daily visitant in an equipage so very fantastical, both as to the for what was due to a brave man at a distance. Ex-dress of 'himself and servants, that the whole court traordinary merit he used to recommend to the king were in an emulation who should first introduce him for some distinction at home; till the order of battle to his holiness. What added to the expectation bis made way for his rising in the troops. Add to this, holiness had of the pleasure he should have in ha that he had an excellent manner of getting rid of follies, was, that this fellow, in a dress the most exsuch who he observed were good at a halt, as his quisitely ridiculous, desired he might speak to him phrase was. Under this description he compre-alone, for he had matters of the highest importance, hended all those who were contented to live without upon which he wanted a conference. Nothing could reproach, and had no promptitude in their minds to-be denied to a coxcomb of so great hope; but when wards glory. These fellows were also recommended they were apart, the impostor revealed himself, and to the king, and taken off of the general's hands spoke as follows:-into posts wherein diligence and common honesty all that were necessary. This general had no art in his line, but every man had as much Nun him, and as much honour to lose as him↑ Plut. ry officer could answer for what passed "Do not be surprised, most holy father, at seeing, instead of a coxcomb to laugh at, your old friend, who has taken this way of access to admonish you of your own folly. Can any thing show your holiness how unworthily you treat mankind, more than my |