qualifications of youth; but this in both sexes is inverting all things, and turning the natural course of our minds, which should build their approbations and dislikes upon what nature and reason dictate, into chimera and confusion. pressed in conversation, there is not one more un-being-the conscience of a good fame, the contemworthy a gentleman or a man of liberal education, plation of another life, the respect and commerce of than that of wishing one's self younger. I bave honest men, our capacities for such enjoyments are observed this wish is usually made upon sight of enlarged by years. While health endures, the latter some object which gives the idea of a past action, part of life, in the eye of reason, is certainly the that it is no dishonour to us that we cannot now re- more eligible. The memory of a well-spent youth peat; or else on what was in itself shameful when gives a peaceable, unmixed, and elegant pleasure to we performed it. It is a certain sign of a foolish the mind; and to such who are so unfortunate as or a dissolute mind if we want our youth again only not to be able to look back on youth with satisfacfor the strength of bones and sinews which we once tion, they may give themselves no little consolation were masters of. It is (as my author has it) as ab- that they are under no temptation to repeat their surd in an old man to wish for the strength of youth, follies, and that they at present despise them. It was as it would be in a young man to wish for the prettily said, "He that would be long an old man, strength of a bull or a horse. These wishes are both must begin early to be one" it is too late to resign equally out of nature, which should direct in all a thing after a man is robbed of it; therefore it is things that are not contradictory to justice, law, necessary that before the arrival of age we bid adieu and reason. But though every old man has been to the pursuits of youth, otherwise sensual habits young, and every young one hopes to be old, there will live in our imaginations, when our limbs cannot seems to be a most unnatural misunderstanding be- be subservient to them. The poor fellow who lost tween those two stages of life. This unhappy want his arm last siege, will tell you, he feels the fingers of commerce arises from the insolent arrogance or that are buried in Flanders ache every cold morning exultation in youth, and the irrational despondence at Chelsea. or self-pity in age. A young man whose passion The fond humour of appearing in the gay and and ambition is to be good and wise, and an old one fashionable world, and being applauded for trivial who has no inclination to be lewd or debauched, are excellences, is what makes youth have age in conquite unconcerned in this speculation; but the cock-tempt, and makes age resign with so ill a grace the ing young fellow who treads upon the toes of his elders, and the old fool who envies the saucy pride he sees him in, are the objects of our present contempt and derision. Contempt and derision are harsh words; but in what manner can one give advice to a youth in the pursuit and possession of sens- Age in a virtuous person, of either sex, carries in ual pleasures, or afford pity to an old man in the it an authority which makes it preferable to all the impotence and desire of enjoying them? When pleasures of youth. If to be saluted, attended, and young men in public places betray in their deport-consulted with deference, are instances of pleasure, ment an abandoned resignation to their appetites, they are such as never fail a virtuous old age. In they give to sober minds a prospect of a despicable the enumeration of the imperfections and advanage, which, if not interrupted by death in the midst tages of the younger and later years of man, they of their follies, must certainly come. When an old are so near in their condition, that, methinks, it man bewails the loss of such gratifications which are should be incredible we see so little commerce of past, he discovers a monstrous inclination to that kindness between them. If we consider youth and which it is not in the course of Providence to recall. age with Tully, regarding the affinity to death, youth The state of an old man, who is dissatisfied merely has many more chances to be near it than age: what for his being such, is the most out of all measures youth can say more than an old man, " he shall of reason and good sense of any being we have any live until night ?" Youth catches distempers more account of from the highest angel to the lowest worm. easily, its sickness is more violent, and its recovery How miserable is the contemplation to consider a more doubtful. The youth indeed hopes for many libidinous old man (while all created beings, besides more days, so cannot the old man. The youth's himself and devils, are following the order of Pro- hopes are ill-grounded; for what is more foolish vidence) fretting at the course of things, and being than to place any confidence upon an uncertainty? almost the sole malecontent in the creation. But But the old man has not room so much as to hope; let us a little reflect upon what he has lost by the he is still happier than the youth; he has already number of years. The passions which he had in enjoyed what the other does but hope for. One youth are not to be obeyed as they were then, but wishes to live long, the other has lived long. But, reason is more powerful now without the disturbance alas! is there any thing in human life, the duration of them. An old gentleman the other day in dis-of which can be called long? There is nothing course with a friend of his (reflecting upon some ad- which must end, to be valued for its continuance. ventures they had in youth together) cried out, "Oh If hours, days, months, and years pass away, it is Jack, those were happy days!" "That is true," no matter what hour, what day, what month, or what replied his friend, "but methinks we go about our year we die. The applause of a good actor is due to business more quietly than we did then." One him at whatever scene of the play he makes his exit. would think it should be no small satisfaction to It is thus in the life of a man of sense; a short life have gone so far in our journey that the heat of the is sufficient to manifest himself a man of honour day is over with us. When life itself is a fever, as it is and virtue; when he ceases to be such he has lived in licentious youth, the pleasures of it are no other too long; and while he is such, it is of no consethan the dreams of a man in that distemper; and it is as absurd to wish the return of that season of quence to him how long he shall be so, provided he is so to his life's end.-T. life, as for a man in health to be sorry for the loss of gilded palaces, fairy walks, and flowery pastures, with which he remembers he was entertained in the troubled slumbers of a fit of sickness. As to all the rational and worthy pleasures of our No. 154.1 MONDAY, AUGUST 27, 1711. "MR. SPECTATOR, "You are frequent in the mention of matters which concern the feminine world, and take upon you to be very severe against men upon all those occasions: but all this while I am afraid you have been very little conversant with women, or you would know the generality of them are not so angry as you imagine at the general vices among us. I am apt to believe (begging your pardon) that you are still what I myself was once, a queer modest fellow; and therefore, for your information, shall give you a short account of myself, and the reasons why I was forced to wench, drink, play, and do every thing which are necessary to the character of a man of wit and pleasure, to be well with the ladies. "You are to know, then, that I was bred a gentleman, and had the finishing part of my education under a man of great probity, wit, and learning, in one of our universities. I will not deny but this made my behaviour and mien bear in it a figure of thought rather than action; and a man of a quite contrary character who never thought in his life, rallied me one day upon it, and said,' he believed I was still a virgin. There was a young lady of virtue present, and I was not displeased to favour the insinuation; but it had a quite contrary effect from what I expected. I was ever after treated with great coldness both by that lady and all the rest of my acquaintance. In a very little time I never came into a room but I could hear a whisper, 'Here comes the maid.' A girl of humour would on some occasion say, Why, how do you know more than any of us? An expression of that kind was generally followed by a loud laugh. In a word, for no other fault in the world than that they really thought me as innocent as themselves, I became of no consequence among them, and was received always upon the foot of a jest. This made so strong an impres sion upon me, that I resolved to be as agreeable as the best of the men who laughed at me; but I observed it was nonsense for me to be impudent at first among those who knew me. My character for modesty was so notorious wherever I had hitherto appeared, that I resolved to shew my new face in new quarters of the world. My first step I chose with judgment; for I went to Astrop, and came down among a crowd of academics, at one dash, the impudentest fellow they had ever seen in their lives, Flushed with this success, I made love, and was happy. Upon this conquest I thought it would be unlike a gentleman to stay long with my mistress, and crossed the country to Bury. I could give you a very good account of myself at that place also. At these two ended my first summer of gal lantry-The winter following, you would wonder at it, but I relapsed into modesty upon coming among people of figure in London, yet not so much but that the ladies who had formerly laughed at me, said, 'Bless us, how wonderfully that gentleman is improved! Some familiarities about the play-houses towards the end of the ensuing winter, made me conceive new hopes of adventures. And instead of returning the next summer to Astrop or Bury, I thought myself qualified to go to Epsom, and folAstrop-wells, in Oxfordshire into which Doctor Radcliffe "put a toad." ↑ Bury-fair. A place of fashionable resort. lowed a young woman, whose relations were jealous "When I had lived in this manner some time, and became thus accomplished, I was now in the twenty-seventh year of my age, and about the fortyseventh of my constitution, my health and estate wasting very fast; when I happened to fall into the company of a very pretty young lady in her own disposal. I entertained the company, as we men of gallantry generally do, with the many haps and disasters, watchings under windows, escapes from jealous husbands, and several other perils. The young thing was wonderfully charmed with one that knew the world so well, and talked so fine: with Desdemona, all her lover said affected her; it was strange, it was wondrous strange.' In a word, I saw the impression I had made upon her, and with a very little application the pretty thing has married me, There is so much charm in her innocence and beauty, that I do now as much detest the course I have been in for many years, as ever I did before I entered into it. "What I intend, Mr. Spectator, by writing all this to you, is that you would, before you go any farther with your panegyrics on the fair sex, give them some lectures upon their silly approbations.— It is that I am weary of vice, and that it was not my natural way, that I am now so far recovered as not to bring this believing dear creature to contempt and poverty for her generosity to me. At the same time tell the youth of good education of our sex, that they take too little care of improving themselves in little things. A good air at entering into a room, a proper audacity in expressing himself with gaiety and gracefulness, would make a young gentleman of virtue and sense capable of discountenancing the No. 155.] TUESDAY, AUGUST 28, 1711. an mala This representation is so just, that it is hard to speak of it without an indignation which perhaps would appear too elevated to such as can be guilty of this inhuman treatment, where they see they affront a modest, plain, and ingenuous behaviour. This correspondent is not the only sufferer in this kind, for I have long letters both from the Royal and New Exchange on the same subject. They tell me that a young fop cannot buy a pair of gloves, but he is at the same time straining at some ingenious ri. baldry to say to the young woman who helps them on. It is no small addition to the calamity that the rogues buy as hard as the plainest and modestest customers they have; besides which, they loll upon their counters half an hour longer than they need, to drive away other customers, who are to share their impertinences with the milliner, or go to another I HAVE more than once taken notice of an indecent licence taken in discourse, wherein the conver-shop. Letters from 'Change-alley are full of the sation on one part is involuntary, and the effect of some necessary circumstance. This happens in travelling together in the same hired coach, sitting near each other in any public assembly, or the like. I have, upon making observations of this sort, received innumerable messages from that part of the fair sex whose lot in life it is to be of any trade or public way of life. They are all, to a woman, urgent with me to lay before the world the unhappy circumstances they are under, from the unreasonable liberty which is taken in their presence, to talk on what subject is thought fit by every coxcomb who wants understanding or breeding. One or two of these complaints I shall set down. "MR. SPECTATOR, "I keep a coffee-house, and am one of those whom you have thought fit to mention as an Idol some time ago. I suffered a good deal of raillery upon that occasion; but shall heartily forgive you, who are the cause of it, if you will do me justice in another point. What I ask of you is, to acquaint my customers (who are otherwise very good ones) that I am unavoidably hasped in my bar, and cannot help hearing the improper discourses they are pleased to entertain me with. They strive who shall say the most immodest things in my hearing. At the same time half a dozen of them loll at the bar staring just in my face, ready to interpret my looks and gestures according to their own imaginations. In this passive condition I know not where to cast my eyes, place my hands, or what to employ myself in. But this confusion is to be a jest, and I hear them say in the end, with an insipid air of mirth and subtlety, 'Let her alone; she knows as well as we, for all she looks so.' Good Mr. Spectator, persuade gentlemen that it is out of all decency. Say it is possible a woman may be modest and yet keep a public-house. Be pleased to argue, that in truth the affront is the more unpardonable because I am obliged to suffer it, and cannot fly from it. I do assure you, Sir, the cheerfulness of life which would arise from the honest gain I have, is utterly lost on me, from the endless, flat, impertinent pleasantries which I hear from morning to night. In a word, it is too much for me to bear; and I desire you to acquaint them, that I will keep pen and ink at the bar, and write down all they say to me, and send it to you for the press. It is possible when they see how empty what they speak, without the advantage of an im same evil; and the girls tell me, except I can chase some eminent merchants from their shops they shall in a short time fail. It is very unaccountable, that men can have so little deference to all mankind who pass by them, as to bear being seen toying by twos and threes at a time, with no other purpose but to appear gay enough to keep up a light conversation or common-place jests, to the injury of her whose credit is certainly hurt by it, though their own may be strong enough to bear it. When we come to have exact accounts of these conversations, it is not to be doubted but that their discourses will raise the usual style of buying and selling. Instead of the plain downright lying, and asking and bidding so unequally to what they will really give and take, we may hope to have from these fine folks an exchange of compliments. There must certainly be a great deal of pleasant difference between the commerce of lovers, and that of all other dealers, who are in a kind, adversaries. A sealed bond, or a bank-note, would be a pretty gallantry to convey unseen into the hands of one whom a director is charmed with; otherwise the city-loiterers are still more unreasonable than those at the other end of the town. At the New-Exchange they are eloquent for want of cash, but in the city they ought with cash to supply their want of eloquence. If one might be serious on this prevailing folly, one might observe that it is a melancholy thing, when the world is mercenary even to the buying and selling our very persons; that young women, though they have never so great attractions from nature, are never the nearer being happily disposed of in marriage; I say, it is very hard under this necessity, it shall not be possible for them to go into a way of trade for their maintenance, but their very excellences and personal perfections shall be a disadvantage to them, and subject them to be treated as if they stood there to sell their persons to prostitution. There cannot be a more melancholy circumstance to one who has made any observation in the world, than one of those erring creatures exposed to bankruptcy. When that happens, none of those toying fools will do any more than any other man they meet, to preserve her from infamy, insult, and distemper. A woman is naturally more helpless than the other sex; and a man of honour and sense should have this in his view in ali manner of commerce with her. Were this well weighed, inconsideration, ribaldry, "MR. SPECTATOR, and nonsense, would not be more natural to enter-man of good understanding a general favourite; tain women with, than men; and it would be as some singularity in his behaviour, some whim in his much impertinence to go into a shop of one of these way of life, and what would have made him ridiyoung women without buying, as into that of any culous among the men, has recommended him to other trader. I shall end this speculation with a the other sex. I should be very sorry to offend a letter I have received from a pretty milliner in people so fortunate as those of whom I am speaking; the city. but let any one look over the old beaux, and he will find the man of success was remarkable for quarrelling impertinently for their sakes, for dressing unlike the rest of the world, or passing his days in an insipid assiduity about the fair sex to gain the figure he made amongst them. Add to this, that he must have the reputation of being well with other women, to please any one woman of gallantry; for you are to know, that there is a mighty ambition among the light part of the sex, to gain slaves from the dominion of others. My friend Will Honeycomb says it was a common bite with him, to lay suspicions that he was favoured by a lady's enemy, (that is, some rival beauty,) to be well with herself. A little spite is natural to a great beauty and it is ordinary to snap up a disagreeable fellow lest another should have him. That impudent toad Bareface fares well among all the ladies he converses with, for no other reason in the world but that he has the skill to keep them from explanation with one another. Did they know there is not one who likes him in her heart, each would declare her scorn of him the next moment; but he is well received by them because it is the fashion, and opposition to each other brings them insensibly into an imitation of each other. What adds to him the greatest grace is, that the pleasant thief, as they call him, is the most in constant creature living, has a wonderful deal of wit "I have read your account of beauties, and was not a little surprised to find no character of myself in it. I do assure you I have little else to do but to give audience, as I am such. Here are merchants of no small consideration, who call in as certainly as they go to 'Change, to say something of my roguish eye. And here is one who makes me once or twice a week tumble over all my goods, and then owns it was only gallantry to see me act with these pretty hands: then lays out three-pence in a little riband for his wristbands, and thinks he is man of great vivacity. There is an ugly thing not far off me, whose shop is frequented only by people of business, that is all day long as busy as possible. Must I that am a beauty be treated with for nothing but my beauty? Be pleased to assign rates to my kind glances, or make all pay who come to see me, or I shall be undone by my admirers for want of customers. Albaeinda, Eudosia, and all the rest, would be used just as we are, if they were in our condition; therefore pray consider the distress of us the lower order of beauties, and I shall be T. "Your obliged humble servant." No. 156. WEDNESDAY, AUGUST 29, 1711. and humour, and never wants something to say; be Sed tu simul obligasti Perfidum votis caput, enitescis But thou, When once thou hast broke some tender vow, I Do not think any thing could make a pleasanter entertainment, than the history of the reigning favourites among the women from time to time about this town. In such an account we ought to have a faithful confession of each lady for what she liked such and such a man, and he ought to tell us by what particular action or dress he believed he should be most successful. As for my part, I have always made as easy a judgment when a man dresses for the ladies, as when he is equipped for hunting or coursing-the woman's man is a person in his air and behaviour quite different from the rest of our species; his garb is more loose and negligent, his manner more soft and indolent;-that is to say, in both these cases there is an apparent endeavour to appear unconcerned and careless. In catching birds the fowlers have a method of imitating their voices to bring them to the snare; and your women's men have always a similitude of the creature they hope to betray in their own conversation. A woman's man is very knowing in all that passes from one family to another, has pretty little officiousnesses, is not at a less what is good for a cold, and it is not amiss if he has a bottle of spirits in his pocket in case of any sudden indisposition. Curiosity having been my prevailing passion, and indeed the sole entertainment of my life, I have sometimes made it my business to examine the course of intrigues as well as the manners and accomplishments of such as have been most successful that way. In all my observation, I never knew a SPECTATOR-Nos. 23 & ?1 sides all which, he has a most spiteful dangerous tongue if you should provoke him. To make a woman's man, he must not be a man of sense, or a fool; the business is to entertain, and it is much better to have a faculty of arguing, than a capacity of judging right. But the pleasantest of all the women's equipage are your regular visitants; these are volunteers in their service, without hopes of pay or preferment. It is enough that they can lead out from a public place, that they are admitted on a public day, and can be allowed to pass away part of that heavy load, their time, in the company of the fair. But commend me above all others to those who are known for your ruiners of lades; these are the choicest spirits which our age produces. We have several of these irresistible gentlemen among us when the company is in town. These fellows are accomplished with the knowledge of the ordinary occurrences about court and town, have that sort of good breeding which is exclusive of all morality, and consists only in being publicly decent, privately dissolute. It is wonderful how far a fond opinion of herself can carry a woman, to make her have the least regard to a professed known woman's man; but as scarce one of all the women who are in the tour of gallantries ever hears any thing of what is the common sense of sober minds, but are entertained with a continual round of flatteries, they cannot be mistresses of themselves enough to make arguments for their own conduct from the behaviour of these men to others. It is so far otherwise, that a general fame for falsehood in this kind, is a recommendation; and the coxcomb, loaded with the favours of many others, is received like a victor that disdains his trophies, to be a victim to the present charmer. If you see a man more full of gesture than ordi N one. nary in a public assembly, if loud upon no occasion, if negligent of the company round him, and yet laying wait for destroying by that negligence, you may take it for granted that he has ruined many a fair The woman's man expresses himself wholly in that motion which we call strutting. An elevated chest, a pinched hat, a measurable step, and a sly surveying eye, are the marks of him. Now and then you see a gentleman with all these accomplishments; but, alas, any one of them is enough to undo thousands when a gentleman with such perfections adds to it suitable learning, there should be public warning of his residence in town, that we may remove our wives and daughters. It happens sometimes that such a fine man has read all the miscellany poems, a few of our comedies, and has the translation of Ovid's Epistles by heart. "Oh if it were possible that such a one could be as true as he is charming! but that is too much, the women will share such a dear false man: a little gallantry to hear him talk one would indulge one's self in, let him reckon the sticks of one's fan, say something of the Cupids in it; and then call one so many soft names which a man of his learning has at his fingers' ends. There sure is some excuse for frailty, when attacked by such force against a weak woman.' Such is the soliloquy of many a lady one might name, at the sight of one of those who makes it no iniquity to go on from day to day in the sin of woman-slaughter. It is certain that people are got into a way of affectation, with a manner of overlooking the most solid virtues, and admiring the most trivial excellences. The woman is so far from expecting to be contemned for being a very injudicious silly animal, that while she can preserve her features and her mien, she knows she is still the object of desire; and there is a sort of secret ambition, from reading frivolous books, and keeping as frivolous company, each side to be amiable in perfection, and arrive at the characters of the Dear Deceiver and the Perjured Fair.-T. No. 157.] THURSDAY, AUGUST 30, 1711. IMITATED. -That directing pow'r, Who forms the genius in the natal hour: would, if he had kings to run against him. Cassius, A I am confident that no boy, who will not be allured to letters without blows, will ever be brought to any I AM very much at a loss to express by any word thing with them. A great or good mind must nethat occurs to me in our language, that which is cessarily be the worse for such indignities; and it understood by indoles in Latin. The natural dispo- is a sad change, to lose of its virtue for the improvesition to any particular art, science, profession, or ment of its knowledge. No one who has gone trade, is very much to be consulted in the care of through what they call a great school, but must reyouth, and studied by men for their own conduct member to have seen children of excellent and inwhen they form to themselves any scheme of life. genuous natures (as has afterward appeared in their It is wonderfully hard, indeed, for a man to judge of manhood): I say no man has passed through this his own capacity impartially. That may look great way of education but must have seen an ingenuous to me which may appear little to another; and I creature, expiring with shame-with pale looks, bemay be carried by fondness towards myself so far, seeching sorrow, and silent tears, throw up its honest as to attempt things too high for my talents and ac- eyes, and kneel on its tender knees to an inexorable complishments. But it is not, methinks, so very blockhead to be forgiven the false quantity of a word difficult a matter to make a judgment of the abili-in making a Latin verse. The child is punished, ties of others, especially of those who are in their infancy. My common-place book directs me on this occasion to mention the dawning of greatness in Alexander, who being asked in his youth to contend for a prize in the Olympic games, answered he and the next day he commits a like crime, and so a third with the same consequence. I would fain ask any reasonable man, whether this lad, in the simplicity of his native innocence, full of shame, and capable of any impression from that grace of soul, |