TO-Night our comic muse the buskin wears,
And gives herself no small romantic airs ;
Struts in heroics, and in pompous verse
Does the minuteft incidents rehearse;
In ridicule's ftrict retrospect difplays

The poetafters of these modern days.

When the big-bellowing bombaft rends our ears,
Which, fript of found, quite void of fenfe appears;
Or when the fiddle-faddle numbers flow,

Serenely dull, elaborately low :

Either extreme, when vain pretenders take,
The actor fuffers for the author's fäke ;

The quite-tir'd audience lofe whole hours, yet pay,
To go unpleas'd and unimprov'd away.
This being our fcheme, we hope you will excuse
he wild excurfion of the wanton muse:

Without a frolic wears a mimic mask;
And fets berfelf fo whimsical a task;
Tis meant to pleafe; but if it should offend,
Tis very fort, and foon will have an end.

SCENE, An antichamber in the Palace.

Enter Rigdum-Funidos and Aldiborontiphofcophornio*

RIGDUM-FUNIDOS.

ALDIBORONTIPHOSGOPHORNIO !

Where left you Chrononhotonthologos?

Ald. Fatigu'd with the tremendous toils of war,
Within his tent, on downy couch fuccumbent,
Himfelf he unfatigues with gentle flumbers.
Lull'd by the cheerful trumpet's gladfome clangor,
The noife of drums, and thunder of artillery,
He fleeps fupine amidst the din of war:
And yet it is not definitely fleep;

Rather a kind of dofe, a waking flumber,.
That sheds a ftupefaction o'er his senses:
For now he nods and fnores; anon he flarts;
Then nods and fnores again. If this be fleep,
Tell me, ye gods, what mortal man's awake!
What fays my friend to this?

Rig. Say! I fay he fleeps dog-fleep: what a plague would you have me to say?

Ald. O impious thought! O curft infinuation ! As if great Chrononhotonthologos,

To animals deteftable and vile,

Had ought the least similitude !

Rig. My dear friend, yoù entirely misapprehend me : I did not call the king dog by craft; I was only going to tell you the foldiers had juft received their pay, and are all drunk as fo many fwabbers.

Ald. Give orders inftantly, that no more money Be iffued to the troops; mean time, my friend, Let all the baths be fill'd with feas of coffee,

To ftupify their fouls into fobriety.

Rig. I fancy you had better banish the futlers, and blow the geneva cafk to the devil.

Ald.

Ald. Thou counfell'ft well, my Rigdom-Funidos,
And reafon feems to further thy advice.
But foftthe king, in penfive contemplation,
Seems to revolve on fome important doubt;
His foul, too copious for this earthly fabric,
Starts forth fpontaneous in foliloquy,

And makes his tongue the midwife of his mind.
Let us retire, left we disturb his folitude. [They retire.
Enter King.

King. This god of fleep is watchful to torment me, And rest is grown a ftranger to mine

Sport not with Chrononhotonthologos,

eyes.

Thou idle flumb'rer, thou detefted Somnus ;
For if thou doft, by all the waking pow'rs,
I'll tear thine eye-balls from their leaden fockets,
And force thee to outftare eternity.

[Exit in a great buff. Re-enter Rigdum-Funidos and Aldiborontiphofco

phornio.

Rig. The king's in a curfed paffion : Pray, who this Mr. Somnus he's fo angry withal?

Ald. The fon of Chaos and Erebus,
Incestuous pair! brother of Mars relentless;
Whofe fpeckled robe, and wings of blackest hue,
Aftonish all mankind with hideous glare :

Himself, with fable plumes, to men benevolent,
Brings downy flumbers, and refreshing fleep.

Rig. The gentleman may be come of a very good family, for ought I know; but I would not be in his place for the world.

Ald. But lo, the king, his footsteps this way bending, His cogitative faculties immers'd

In cogibundity of cogitation.

Let filence clofe our folding-doors of speech,

'Till apt attention tell our heart the purport Of this profound profundity of thought.

Re-enter King and Attendants.

King. It is refolv'd-Now, Somnus, I defy thee, And from mankind ampute thy curft dominion Thefe royal eyes thou never more fhalt close: Henceforth let no man fleep, on pain of death. Instead of fleep, let pompous pageantry,

L 4

And

And folemn fhow, with fonorous folemnity,
Keep all mankind eternally awake.
Bid Harlequino decorate the ftage
With all magnificence of decorations,
Giants, gianteffes, dwarfs, and pigmies,
Songs, dances, mufic in its ampleft order,

Mimes, pantomimes, and all the magic motion
Of fcene deceptio-vifive and fublime.

[An Entertainment of finging here, after the Italian
manner, by Signor Scacciatinello and Signora
Sacarina.]

Enter Captain of the Guards.

Capt. To arms, to arms! great Chrononhotonthologos!
Th' Antipodean pow'rs, from realms below,
Have burft the folid entrails of the earth,
Gufhing fuch cataracts of forces forth,

This world is too incopious to contain them.
Armies on armies march in form ftupenduous;
Not like our earthly legions, rank by rank,

But tire o'er tire, high pil'd from earth to heav'n.
A blazing bullet, bigger than the fun,

Shot from a huge and monftrous culverin,

Has laid your royal citadel in ashes.

King Peace, coward! were they wedg'd like golden

Or pent fo close as to admit no vacuum;

One look from Chrononhotonthologos

[ingots,

Shall ftare them into nothing. Rigdum-Funidos,
Bid Bombardinion draw his legions forth,
And meet us in the plains of Quecrumania :
This very now ourfelves will there conjoin him.
Mean time bid all the priests prepare their temples
For rites of triumph: let the finging fingers,
With vocal voices, moft vociferous,

In fweet vociferation, out-vociferize

Even found itself. So be it as we have order'd.

SCENE, A magnificent Apartment.

[Exeunt.

Enter Q. Fadladinida, Tatlanthe, and Attendants.

Queen. Day's curtain drawn, the morn begins to And waking nature rubs her fleepy eyes;

[rife,

The

The pretty little, fleecy, bleating flocks,
In baa's harmonious warble thro' the rocks;
Night gathers up her fhades in fable shrouds,
And whifp'ring ofiers tattle to the clouds:
What think you, ladies, if an hour we kill
At baffet, ombre, piquet, or quadrille ?

Tat. Your majesty was pleas'd to order tea.
Queen. My mind is alter'd; bring fome ratafia.

[They are ferved with a dram.
I have a famous fiddler fent from France';
Bid him come in. What think ye of a dance?
Enter King of the Fiddlers.

Fid. This to your majefty fays our fuppliant mufe :
Would you a folo or fonato choofe,

Or bold concerto, or foft ficiliano,

Alla Francefe overo in gufto Romano?

When you command, 'tis done as soon as spoke.
Queen. A civil fellow-Play us the Black Jock,
[Queen and Ladies dance the Black Jock.
So much for dancing; now let's reft a-while.
Bring in the tea-things; does the kettle boil?
Tat. The water bubbles, and the tea-cups skip,
Through eager hope to kiss your royal lip.

[Tea brought in. Queen. Come, ladies, will you please to choose your Or green imperial, or Pekoe Bohea?

[tea,

ift Lady: Never, no never, fure on earth was feen,

So gracious, sweet, and affable a queen.

2d Lady. She is an angel!

If Lady. She's a goddefs rather?

Tat. She's angel, queen, and goddess all together!
Queen. Away! you flarter me,-

ift Lady. We don't indeed.

Your merit does our praises far exceed.

Queen. You make me blush: pray help r

ift Lady. That blush becomes you.—

Tat. Would I were a man!

me to a fan.

Queen. I'll hear no more of this, as I'm a fioner.

[Enter Dumb Mafter of the Ceremonies, making figns of

eating.]

Dear me that's true, I never thought of dinner;

But