Snuf. The next upon the lift is Peter Primmer the fchoolmaster. Heel. Ay, neighbours, and a fufficient man: let me tell you, Mafter Primmer is the man for my money; a man of learning, that can lay down the law; why, adzooks, he is wife enough to puzzle the parfon; and then, how you have heard him oration at the Adam and Eve of a Saturduy night, about Ruffia and Pruffia. Ecod, George Gage the excifeman is nothing at all to un. 4th Mob. A Primmer! Heel. Ay, if the folks above did but know him why, lads, he will make us all statesmen in time. 2d Mob. Indeed! Heel. Why, he fwears as how all the mifcarriages are owing to the great people's not learning to read. 3d Mob. Indeed! Heel. For, fays Peter, fays he, if they would but once fubmit to be learned by me, there is no knowing to what a pitch the nation might rife. 1ft Mob. Ay, I wish they would. Sneak. Crifpin, what, is Peter Primmer a candidate ? Heel. He is, Mr. Sneak. Sneak. Lord, I know him, mun, as well as my mother why, I used to go to his lectures to Pewterer's hall along with deputy Firkin. : Heel. Like enough. Sneak. Ods me, brother Bruin, can you tell what is become of my vife? Bruin. She is gone off with the Major. Sneak. Mayhap to take a walk in the garden: I will go and take a peep at what they are doing: Mob without buzza. [Exit Sneak. Heel. Gadfo! the candidates are coming. Come, neighbours,' range yourselves to the right and left, that you may be canvafs'd in order:' let us fee who comes firft. ift Mob. Mafter Mug. Heel. Now, neighbours, have a good caution that this Mafter Mug does not cajole you; he is a damn'd palavering fellow. En Enter Matthew Mug. Mug. Gentlemen, I am the lowest of your flaves : 'Mr. Heel-tap, have the honour of kiffing your hand. Heel. There, did I not tell you? Mug. Ah, my very good friend, I hope your father • is well? ft Mob. He is dead. Mug. So he is. Mr. Grub, if my wishes prevail, your very good wife is in health? 2d Mob. Wife! I never was married. Mug. No more you were. Well, neighbours and 'friends-Ah! what, honeft Dick Bennet! 3d Mob. My name is Gregory Gubbins. Mug. You are right, it is fo; and how fares it with · good Mr. Gubbins ? 6 3d Mob. Pretty tight, Mr. Mug. 'Mug. I am exceedingly happy to hear it. 4th Mob. Hark'ye, Maiter Mug. Mug. Your pleafure, my very dear friend? 4th Mob. Why as how and concerning our young one at home. ← Mug. Right, fhe is a prodigious promifing girl. Mug. True, a fine boy! I love and honour the 'child. 4th Mob. Nay, 'tis none fuch a child; but you promis'd to get un a place. Mug. A place! what place? 4th Mob. Why, a gentleman's fervice you know. Mug. It is done; it is fixed; it is fettled. 4th Mob. And when is the lad to take on? Mug. He must go in a fortnight at fartheft. 4th Mob. And is it a pretty goodish birth, Master • Mug? Mug. The beft in the world; head-butler to Lady Barbara Bounce. Mug. The wages are not much, but the vails are amazing. Mug. Yes; fhe has routs on Tuesdays and Sundays, ' and • and he gathers the tables; only he finds candles, cards, 'coffee, and tea. 4th Mob. Is Lady Barbara s work pretty tight? 'Mug. As good as a finecure; he only writes cards to her company, and dreffes his miftrefs's hair. 4th Mob. Hair! Zounds, why Jack was bred to dreffing of horfes. Mug. True; but he is fuffered to do that by deputy. ४ 4th Mob. May be fo. Mug. It is fo. Hark'ye, dear Heel-tap, who is this fellow? I fhould remember his face. 'Heel. And don't you ? • Mug. Not I, I profess. Heel. No! Mug. No. 'Heel. Well faid, Mafter Mug; but come, time wears: have you any thing more to fay to the corpo'ration ?" Mug. Gentlemen of the corporation of Garrat, Heel. Now twig him; now mind him: mark how he hawls his mufcles about. Mug. The honour I this day folicit, will be to me the most honourable honour that can be conferred; and fhould I fucceed, you, gentlemen, may depend on my ufing my utmost endeavours to promote the good of the borough; for which purpofe, the encouragement of your trade and manufactories will moft principally tend. Garratt, it must be owned, is an inland town, and has not, like Wanfworth, and Fulham, and Putney, the glorious advantage of a port; but what nature has denied, industry may fupply: cabbage, carrots, and colly-flowers, may be deemed at prefeut your ftaple commodities; but why should not your commerce be extended? Were I, gentlemen, worthy to advife, I fhould recommend the opening a new branch of trade; fparagrafs, gentlemen, the manufacturing of fparagrafs. Batterfea, I own, gentlemen, bears at prefent the bell; but where lies the fault? In ourselves, gentlemen: let us, gentlemen, but exert our natural ftrength, and I will take upon me to say, that a hundred of grafs from the corporation of Gar Garratt will, in a short time, at the London market, be held at least as an equivalent to a Battersea bundle. Mob. A Mug! a Mug! Heel. Damn the fellow, what a tongue he has! I must step in or he will carry the day. Hark'ye, Mafter Mug? Mug. Your pleasure, my very good friend? Heel. No flummering me: I tell thee, Matthew, 'twon't do why, as to this article of ale here, how comes it about, that you have rais'd it a penny a quart? Mug. A word in your ear, Crifpin; you and your friends fhall have it at threepence. Heel. What, firrah, do you offer a bribe? D'ye dare to corrupt me, you scoundrel? Mug Gentlemen Heel. Here, neighbours; the fellow has offer'd to bate a penny a quart, if fo be as how I would be confenting to impofe upon you. Mob. No Mug! no Mug! Mug. Neighbours, friends Mob. No Mug! Mug. I believe this is the first borough that ever was loft by the returning officer's refufing a bribe. 2d Mob. Let us go and pull down his fign. [Exit Mug, Heel. Hold, hold, no riot: but, that we may not give Mug time to pervert the votes and carry the day, let us proceed to the election. Mob. Agreed! agreed! [Exit Heel-tap and Mob. *Sir Jacob, Bruin, and Wife, come from the balcony. : Sir Jac. Well, fon Bruin, how d'ye relish the corporation of Garratt ? Bruin. Why, lookye, Sir Jacob; my way is always to speak what I think: I don't approve on't at all. Mrs. Bruin. No! Sir Jac. And what's your objection? Bruin. Why, I was never over-fond of your Maygames; befides, corporations are too ferious things; they are edge-tools, Sir Jacob. Sir * The fetond act ufually begins here; and the whole foregoing fcenes, from the end of act I, are omitted Sir Jac. That they are frequently tools, I can readily grant: but I never heard much of their edge. Mrs. Bruin. Well now, I proteft, I am pleased with it mightily. Bruin. And who the devil doubts it ?-You women folks are eafily pleased. Mrs. Bruin. Well, I like it fo well, that I hope to fee one every year Bruin. Do you? Why then you will be damnably bit; you may take your leave, I can tell you; for this is the laft .you fhall fee. Sir Jac. Fie, Mr. Bruin, how can you be fuch a bear? is that a manner of treating your wife? Bruin. What, I fuppofe you would have me fuch a fniveling fot as your fon-in-law Sneak, to truckle and cringe, to fetch and to Enter Sneak in a violent hurry. Sneak. Where's brother Bruin! O Lord, brother, I have fuch a difmal story to tell you. Bruin. What's the matter? Sneak. Why, you know I went into the garden to look for my vife and the Major, and there I hunted and hunted as fharp as if it had been for one-of my own minickens; but the deuce a major or madam could I fee: at laft, a thought came into my head to look for them in the fummer-house. up Bruin. And there you found them? Sneak. I'll tell you: the door was locked; and then I look'd through the key hole; and there, Lord a mercy upon us! [Whispers] as fure as a gun. Bruin. Indeed! Zounds, why did you not break open the door! Sneak. I durft not: What, would you have me fet my wit to a foldier? I warrant the Major would have knock'd me down with one of his boots, for I could fee they were both of them off. Bruin. Very well! pretty doings! You fee, Sir Jacob, these are the fruits of indulgence. You may call me bear, but your daughter fhall never make me a beaft. Mob buzzas. |