play is named after its hero, Ralph Roister Doister. The scene is laid in London, and Ralph, who is a conceited, rattle-pated young fellow about town, and amorous withal, fancies himself in love with Dame Custance, a gay young widow with "a tocher," as he thinks, of a thousand pounds and more. But upon this point Matthew Merry-greek, his poor kinsman and attendant, a shrewd, mischievous, time-serving fellow, remarks to him, that "An hundred pounde of marriage money doubtless, Which shows that our ways, in this respect at least, have not changed much in three hundred years from those of our forefathers. When the play opens, Custance is betrothed to Garvin Goodluck, a merchant who is then at sea. But Merry-greek crams his master with eagerly swallowed flattery, and puts him in heart by telling him that a man of his person and spirit can win any woman. Ralph encounters three of Custance's handmaids, old and young, and by flattering words and caresses tries to bring them over to his side. He leaves a letter with one of them for Custance, which is delivered, but not immediately opened. The next day Dobinet Doughty, the merchant's servant, brings a ring and token from Master Goodluck to Dame Custance; but Madge, having got a scolding for her pains in delivering Ralph's letter, refuses to carry the ring and token. Other servants entering, Dobinet introduces himself as a mes * Merry-greek was slang three hundred years ago for what we now call a "jolly fellow." "Then she's a merry Greek indeed." Troilus and Cressida, Act I. Sc. 2. senger from the dame's betrothed husband; and they, especially one Tibbet Talk-a-pace, being delighted at the idea of a wedding, and mistaking the man who is thus to bless the household, fall out as to who is to deliver Ralph's presents. But Tib triumphs by snatching the souvenirs and running out with them to her mistress. A reproof to Tib in her turn ends the second act. The third opens with a visit by Merry-greek to Dame Custance, that he may find out if the ring and token have worked well for his master's interest. But he only learns from Dame Custance that she is fast betrothed to Goodluck, that she has not even opened Ralph's letter, but knows that it must be from him, "For no mon there is but a very dolte and lout That to wowe a widowe would so go about." She adds that Ralph shall never have her for his wife while he lives. On receiving this news, Ralph declares that he shall then and there incontinently die; when Merry-greek takes him at his word, pretends to think that he is really dying, and calls in a priest and four assistants to sing a mock requiem. Ralph, however, like most disappointed lovers, concludes to live; and Merry-greek advises him to serenade Custance, and boldly ask her hand. So done; but Custance snubs him, and produces his yet unread letter, which Merrygreek reads to the assembled company with such defiance of the punctuation that the sense is perverted, and all are moved to mirth except Ralph, who in wrath disowns the composition. Dame Custance retires, and Merry-greek, again flattering his master, advises him to refrain himself awhile from his lady-love, and that then she will seek him, for, as to women, "When ye will they will not; will not ye, then will they." Ralph threatens vengeance upon the scrivener who copied his letter; but when the penman reads it with the proper pauses, he finds out who is the real culprit; and thus the third act ends. The fourth opens with the entrance of another messenger from Goodluck to Dame Custance. While he is talking to the lady Ralph enters, ostentatiously giving orders about making ready his armor, takes great airs, calls Custance his spouse, and tells Goodluck's messenger to tell his master that “his betters be in place now." The angered Dame Custance summons maid and man, and turns Ralph and Merrygreek out of doors; but the latter soon slips back, and tells her that his only purpose is to make sport of Ralph, who is about returning armed, "to pitch a field" with his female foes. Roister Doister soon enters armed with pot, pan, and popgun, and accompanied by three or four assistants. But the comely dame, who seems to be a tall woman of her hands, stands her ground, and, aided by her maids, "pitches into" the enemy, and with mop and besom puts him to ignominious flight; in which squabble the knave Merry-greek, pretending to fight for his rich kinsman, manages to belabor him soundly. At the beginning of the fifth act Garvin Goodluck makes his appearance, and Sim Suresby tells him of what he saw and heard at his visit to Dame Custance. Goodluck is convinced of the lady's fickleness. She arrives, and would welcome him tenderly; but of course there is trouble. Finally, however, on the evidence of Tristram Trusty, she is freed from suspicion; and Ralph, petitioning for pardon, is invited to the wedding supper, and the play is at an end. It is rather a rude performance ; * The following extract from the opening of the third scene of the fourth act of this comedy is a fair example of its style: "Custance. What meane these lewde felowes thus to trouble me stil? Sym Suresby here, perchaunce, shal thereof deme som yll, but it contains all the elements of a regular comedy of the romantic school; and it must be confessed that many a duller one has been presented to a modern audience. Yet ruder and coarser than Ralph Roister Doister, and Sym Suresby. Sure. And shall suspect me in some point of naughtinesse, What is their businesse ? I have nought to them, nor they to me, in sadnesse. Let us hearken them; somewhat there is, I feare it. Ralph Roister. I wil speake out aloude best, that she may heare it. Merry-greek. Nay, alas! ye may so feare hir out of hir wit. Roister. Merry. Roister. Sure. Roister. Merry. Cust. Sure. Merry. Cust. Cust. By the crosse of my sworde, I will hurt hir no whit. I woulde have it cast beames as fast, I tell you playne, Wife! this geare goeth acrook. Nor it is not this letter though ye were a queene That shoulde breake marriage betweene you twaine, I weene. I did not refuse hym for the letter's sake. Then ye are content me for your husbande to take. less amusing, is Gammer Gurton's Needle, which, until 1818, was supposed to be the earliest extant English comedy, but which was not written until about thirty years later than Udall's play, it having been first performed, as Malone reasonably concludes, at Christ College, Cambridge, in 1566. Its author was John Still, afterward Bishop of Bath and Wells, who was born in 1543. The personages in this play are all, with two or three exceptions, rustics, and their language is a broad, provincial dialect. The plot turns upon the simple incident of Gammer Gurton's loss of her needle while she is mending her servant Hodge's breeches. Sharp is the hunt through five acts after this needful instrument — Hodge even pretending to have an interview with the Devil upon the subject. But the needle is not found until Hodge, having on the mended garment, is hit "a good blow on the buttocks" by the bailiff, whose services have been called in; when the clown discovers that Gammer Gurton's needle, like Old Rapid's in the Road to Ruin, does not always stick in the right place. The second act of this farrago of practical jokes and coarse humor opens with that jolly old drinking song beginning, which may be found in many collections of lyric verse. IV. Whether it was that moral-plays satisfied for a long time our forefathers' desire for serious entertainment, and furnished them sufficient occasion for that reflection upon the graver interests and incidents of human life which it |