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vanced age,)-is it not preposterous daily mail, from one by the lumberto spend no less than seven or eight ing coach and six, which of old was of these few fleeting years of the only occasionlly dragged to the melives of our fine boys, in hammering, tropolis in several weeks' travel, by or rather thrashing into them a the same set of horses, from some knowledge (and that a very imperfect hostelry or change-house in the one) of a dead language or two? Grassmarket, at which it was always 3dly, Suppose that such knowledge is advertised, that Mr John, or Mr worth the having, is it not possible Thomas Such-a-thing the coachiman to communicate it to our youngsters might be talked with. Now, while all in a far shorter time? Sir, every these things are so, we inquire, why thing else has increased in rapidity; is the classical curriculum the only and we ask, why should not this do machine which now-a-days travels so too? You can now reach Glas- slowly? Sir, all these questions gow, from Edinburgh, in five hours, we have discussed ; and on setting instead of a whole livelong day. out, it was my intention to have told You steam it now from Leith to you our reasonings on them both pro London in two days, instead of sail and con, and to have tried my hand ing it in twenty, which was the cus- on a review of Dr Reid's pamphlet ; tom forty or fifty years ago. As to but my room is out, and I must dethe land journey there, the terms of lay them till a future letter. I am, the old song of Igo and Ago are now in the meantime, verified, for “ to go to London's but
Sir, a walk," it being a very different
Your obedient servant, kind of expedition indeed, by the
A Plain Man.
Walks in Edinburgh.
God made the country, and man made the town.-Cowper.
And find out Pleasure, that so sweetly
shines Into the heart of man-I read the Signs ;
OXE day I wander'd leisurely along
The bridges, sadly musing on the past On her for whom I sung a pretty song, Who left me like a rainbow in the
blastA lovely rainbow, which the boys pursue, And mourn to see it vanish from their
theit view. Is there a cure for sorrow? Some folks
toil, And sweat it out, like sickness, from
the veins ; Another seeks the wine-cup to beguile His heart to happiness and fires his
brains; While others—and by far the wisest
they Bow'd down before the source of comfort,
pray. But, reader, I nor toil'd, nor drank, nor
pray'd, Though I have done, and yet can do
them all ; But, in a novel manner, I essay'd To flee from Sorrow, with her midnight.
Like that philosopher-I've lost his
name, . But he liv'd somewhere on the Conti
nent, And died there too, and yet is known to
fameWho, when his mind, by being over
bent, Became confus'd like a poor weaver's
woof, Counted the red tiles on some neighbour.
Thou'lt find the story in D’Israeli's
" Essay Upon the Literary Character :" D’Israeli! how my throbbing heart doth ,
bless ye for being such an useful caterer ! Though I confess, from Literature's sweet
bow'rs, Thou pluck'st the weeds as often as the
And so do all the labourers of thy kind Especially in Scotland, where the dew , Even Ramsay, Percy, Cromek, Diare is often chill, and heavy too the mid, Galt;
show'rs; And nameless thousands, who seem much To go quite naked would be most unpleainclin'd
sant, To rise to fame that is to say, exalt And sober souls might think it, too-in. Themselves on borrow'd pinions, like the
decent. jay In peacock plumes, that soon were torn Here is the Glover,--speak, ye glorers, away.
Your pleasure when a bride comes in I read the Signs--ay, and with higher
to buy pleasure
Her wedding kids what flush is on her Than one, a blockhead border laird,
cheek! who got
What mellow'd light within her liquid A dictionary, which he thought a trca.
eye ! sure ;
Sure it can ne'er be such swect nymph's And when he boldly to the finis fought,
desire Folks asked him if 'twas good ? be made To cheat her groom, though Jacob did his reply,
sire. The beuk is weel enough, but some. thing dry."
There is the Hosier, oh, I wish that Cupid
Had been a stocking-maker to his I read the Signs-each large and lovely
For human labourers often are so stupid, Which, like most tombstones, generally They spoil the finest works e'er Nature tells lies ;
made : For every shop's the cheapest-most ab. An eye, a lock, a lip, may point Love's surd,
dart, When, “ the superlative (the teacher But handsome ankles kick it to the heart.
cries) Admits of no comparison;" but grammars Here is the Jeweller, where many a jewel The merchants study less than auction. (I mean the pretty ladies) calls full hammers.
often, Here's the Hat-manufacturer, a trade
To look at glittering toys that not a few
will Most profitable, as I understand ; And pleasant too, for it requires no aid
Rejoice in purchasing ; such things may
soften From intellect, if people have a hand, a fellow's Ainty heart, for more than Or rather two, from sheep to pluck the
half wool, And place it on the cranium of a fool.
This wicked world adore a golden calf. There's the Silk-mercer, with his crape
Here is the Bookseller, the man of sheets,
Not winding ones, for shrouding lifeless and gauze,
limbs ; And all those baubles ladies go from
Not bridal ones, where Love with Plea. home in ; Effemináte profession for the paws
sure meets; Of man ! 0, give the business up to
But paper ones of tales, and plays, and
hymns: woman! No, never mind, worms will be butterflies,
Deuce take their venders ! they are someAnd human crawlers too like brilliant
times greedy, And authors, Heaven protect them ! often
needy. Here is the Grocer, very useful creature, If justice sway his conscience and his Here is the Teacher all success to them scales;
Who " teach the young idea how to For, like a jackal, he provides our nature
shoot," With tea and mustard, treacle and ales; Not hares or grouse, or any sort of game, And all that people choose to set their. For this is meaning that would never table on
sait For few eat grass now, like the King of The tender-hearted Thomson; he but sings Babylon.
In metaphors, because they're glaring
things. There is the Clothier, very useful too, Since folks were banish'd from fair There's the Apothecary-mercy on us ! Eden's bow'rs ;
Who saps our constitution and repairs;
Possessing, as his drugs have often shown No matter-he must be, at any rate, us,
Bred to a learned profession such as The pow'r of serpents, and the art of scribe, bears;
Or minister, or leech, or advocate, And knowing, too, as Midas, who of old Or nothing more_these are the learned Could turn each filthy substance unto
How wondrously miscall'd! they bear a Here is the Haberdasher, Peter Snail,- To which, as I shall prove, they have no My stars! I knew a fellow of this
claim. name, A boor, who, from beside my native vale, The man who learns to labour with an To great Dunedin an apprentice came ;
awl, And by his industry rose fast and faster,
Might just as easily labour with a pen ; Until he got the fine shop of his master.
The ballad-singer that has lungs to bawl,
Might well confound a dozen jurymen; Oh, Peter Snail ! here let me for a while The ragged wretch that cries the felon's In meditation on the pavement stand,
speech. Though elbows, like a fiddler's at their Might be a priest-the tinker be a leech.
toil, Pounce me unpityingly on every hand;
hand. It has been said, that every infant head Here let my spirit, in delightful dreams,
Is lighted to its trade by inborn tapers; Recal our native mountains and our Some to write tragedies-others to read streams
One to cut throats another to cut ca.
pers; Recal the village school-house, where we One to gulp wine-another not to gulp it; met
Some to the gallows others to the pulpit. To read our lessons, generally ill read;
This I deny-it rather seems to me, Always the case with thee, who oft wast
That people's names are emblematical set Upon the dúnce's stool ; and as thy
Of what they shall in their professions be, head
As they go trundling round this earthly
ball The master could not any knowledge
¢ Through infancy and youth, manhood
Throng teach, He tried to whip it oft into thy breech.
Until, at last, they roll quite off the stage. The father of this blockhead, Peter Snail, Gray are the shadows when the suns deWas rich in worldly goods, if not in
part, grace ;
And pensive people walk the Church. Perhaps he had that too, but, in my tale,
yard way; Religious bickerings shall have no place, A Spencer that inwraps a woman's heart, Lest I, like other pugilists, may throw Holds realms as fair as Fairy Queen's My bosom open to a knock-down blow.
It is a Cooper's task those things to form, I say, the man was rich, that is enough,
8, Which bring delicious wines through sea Gold is a passport to all things save
and storm. heaven; To peer's attention, and to peasant's puff, A Mason's labour rears the sheltering To colonelships, and admiralships, and
Around an English Garden's blossoms To senates and to pulpits_and (I start
bright ; With anger and disgust) to woman's Burns through their lonely mountains heart.
To cottars' ears on Saturday at night ; Well, he was rich -and he resolved to Dan is a name of honour and if mar. make,
ried on According to the phrase, his son a man; The drink that makes men merry--we But mother Nature, who appear'd to take
have Sherry-dan. Some interest in the matter, marr'd his plan,
But where is Master Snail ? I've lost his By having purpos'd that the boy should
While proving thus the wonders of a Among terrestrial creatures as an-ass.
• According to the account in Cook's Voyages, the natives of Kamschatka are indebted to the bears for the knowledge of physic and the art of dancing.
Why, Peter yet would never dream of “Ah! I abode among the hills and rocks, glory,
Companion of the plover and curlew, Of wigs or gowns, of honour or of Companion of the cattle and the flocks, fame;
Pondering on lovely dreams, that prov'd Even nothing was to him a soldier's sash untrueor
Uprearing beauteous castles in the air, Sailor's cock'd hat-so he turn'd haber. That tumbled down and left me in de
dasher. His name too, reader, is a striking proof “While you, O happy man ! forsook the of this my theory: a snail is slow,
fold, Ay, but 'tis sure ; I've seen it climb the The hay-mead and the harvest-field roof
forsook ; Of lofty houses, where, if chanced to go And in this city, that seems pav'd with The butterfly, its brother, the first breeze
gold, Puft'd it away like blossom from the And built with silver, to my fancytrees.
Your dwelling up-where Fortune on you Genius is useless in a world like this,
smil'd, It cannot keep the road with other And press'd you to her bosom as her folk ;
child. But dulness, blessed dulness ! will not miss
“Oh, curse the country! what are streams The beaten path-way-to the daily
and lakes, yoke
And trees, and flowers, and hills, and It gives its shoulders, like the patient ox,
rocks, and dales ? And feels its purse swell like a strong Fit residence for wild-ducks and for drakes, man's box.
And timorous bares, and ever-harping
rails ; But I'll step in and see him-“ Master Fit residence for stupid sheep-and men Snail,
That, like a badger, grovel in their den. I hope you're well, Sir ?-Ah! full many a day
“ But, bless the city! here are spires Has o'er us past, like clouds upon the and domes, gale,
And streets and squares, that give the Since in the church-yard we were wont heart delight; to play
And wealth unbounded as the sea that At school-boy leisure-hours—where now
foams, the stones
And honours numerous as the stars of Mark out the rest of our best kindred's
night ; bones.”
And men with brains where embryo
volumes lie, “Ha! Master Peppermint, my old school. And maids with lips where—mine will fellow,
never sigh." How have you been these ten long years and more ?
“Why, Master Peppermint, I can't agree I see your curly ringlets still are yellow, With this comparison that you have Your cheeks, too, are as ruddy as be
made : fore ;
The hills and dales of my nativity, Yet on your brow I mark some new. The banks of hazel, and the hawthorns' drawn furrows,
shade, Which I could hope have not been made Are still the resting-places of my soul, by sorrows."
The sunny spots o'er which no dark
clouds roll. 6 Why, Master Snail, I shall not yet complain ;
“ Give me the mountain with its heather. In all my woes and I have had my
The odorous meadow with its blosI've seen the hopes that danced around
som'd willows, my brain
The valley with its never-failing well, - Expire like foam-bells in the empty T he river with its gently-heaving bilair ;
lows, I've felt the joys within my breast that Give these to me, and thou art free to flow'd,
share Freeze up like streamlets on their wintry The splendid sights of every handsome road.
“ Giye me the lark's song at the break of While I shall walk upon the stony street, morn,
More safe by far than bog beneath my The bittern's booming from the moor. land fen,
“ Lord ! Master Peppermint, my worthy The cuckoo's note amid the flowery thorn,
friend, The wood-dove's cooing in the lonely
I'm like a fly within a cobweb caught; glen,
I've a good business-that will still ex. Give these to me, and thou art free to
I've money out I can't get in when The noise that hums through every
I've dreams of 'wealth, too, which mysil. “ Men in the country, Sir, are like the
ly pate bees,
Will not give up—although my trade I All busy in the summer's brilliant day ;
hate. Throwing their wood-notes on the pass- “ But, oh! I love to muse upon the spot ing breeze,
Where first I gambol'd in life's vernal As through the primrose-painted fields
day ; they stray ;
And, oh! I trust it yet may be my lot, And when the winter desolates the earth,
When eyes are dim, and locks are thin Sweet is the shelter of their household
and gray, hearth.
There to retire, and, like a worn-out
wave, "Men in the city, Sir, are like the wasps,
Sink to repose beside my parent's grave." All avaricious, selfish, cunning, bold : All grasping keen as hungry grasps, “ Retain these thoughts,” unto myself I All holding firm as twining serpents
When we had parted; “ nurse them And all deceiv'd themselves themselves
in yoar breast ; deceiving
They are like sunbeams shining on'a tide By every paltry trick of legal thieving.”
That winter comes to freeze-they will " Lord ! Master Snail, I wonder you The searing power of avarice, which deabide
stroys In such a den of vipers you detest; The heart for earthly and for heavenly joys. Go to the cottage by the greenwood side, Your father's cottage, like a linnet's “ But is this Peter Snail ? - What won. nest;
drous freaks Go there and cultivate the dale and hill, Are often play'd by Fate on human Which your fond heart with such sweet
things! visions fill;
As boy-he seem'd just what his name
bespeaks, “While I shall gaze upon the busy crowd, As man--he seems indeed to have got More pleasant unto me than clump of
wings ; wood;
Yet 'tis not always thus I've known at While I shall listen to street-fiddlers loud,
schools More sweet than any dove that ever Some clever lads that now are downright coo'd ;
ODDS AND ENDS.
lime may become, in the extreme of Magna Parvis.
the latter, (and the latter only,) idenIrisan old observation, that extremes tical, so common images and low are nearly allied to each other. Pain metaphors often “ furnish forth” the and pleasure, heat and cold, the sum noblest and most expressive sublime blime and the ludicrous, may be composition. An idea or a thought come, in their extremes, almost iden- is frequently heightened and exalted tical. I do not, however, purpose to (paradoxical as the assertion may pursue this copious topic, which would appear) by a common-place, or, I form a fine subject of metaphysical might say, a petty illustrative epiinquiry. But I was led to make the thet. Examples of what I mean are foregoing trite remark, by observing, innumerous. The following occur that, as the ludicrous and the sub- to my recollection: