⚫ expect my mafter every minute-There is your way, Sir-you may fee all that come in through the blind -Pray flip the fpring-lock, for fear of a furprise from my mafter-To your pofts, gentlemen:' I think I hear him coming.

Enter Gulwell.

Gul. So; this advertisement has brought in two pounds thirteen fhillings!No very bad morning's work!. Well, thanks to the memory of our witty founder, fay I Had he not luckily hit on the fcheme of a register-office, I might have dangled on at quilldriving without ever being worth a groat.

Wil. But, Sir, do you think this calling of ours the moft conscientious one in the world?—I begin to ima. gine my old employment the law the more honeft profeffion of the two.

Gul. Mr Williams, there is roguery in all the employ. ments under the fan. Every day's experience will convince you, that there is no getting through the world without a neceffary portion of trick and chicanery.

Wil. Sir, if the impofture of this very advertisement were found out and duly punish'd, one or both of us would ftand a fair chance for the pillory. How many poor girls have this morning been stripped of perhaps their laft fhilling, by being amufed with the hopes of the place we have advertised.I'faith, Sir, fome of our profeffion are little better than downright pickpockets —I am glad I shall have the good fortune to leave it fo foon.

Gul. Mr Williams, I am truly forry for our feparation, yet rejoice at the occafion of it-However, if you hope to make a fortune in your alter'd condition of life, you must learn to keep your confcience in proper fubordination. I can affure you, that fraud is as necessary a requifite in a stewardship as in an intelligence-officeIs there no meffage from Dr Skinflint about the Welsh living?

Wil. Yes, Sir; he fays, as curates are fo cheap in Wales, he will not take lefs than a thousand guineas. Gul. A fpiritual curmudgeon! Why, it is not quite a hundred a-year.-I forgot to ask if you call'd at Captain Sparkle's last night?

Wil. I did, Sir; and was surprised to see him fo greatly recovered.

Gul. Ay, I thought he would grow better after the embarkation! I never fuppofed him in any very great danger, because he refused eight hundred guineas for his commiffion when his life was faid to be defpair'd of Have you finifhed the affignment of the furgeoncy? Wil. No, Sir.

Gul. Then get it done, Mr Williams-Stay-you must write an advertisement for the Daily―any time this afternoon will do-of an employment to be difpofed of in Ireland, of a thousand pounds per annum, which requires little learning or attendance, and may be executed by a deputy-Remember to add, that fecrecy is requir'd, and none but principals need to apply.

Wil. I forgot to tell you the young gentleman was here, to know if you had receiv'd an answer about the fecretary's place.

Gul. Truly, I am forry I cannot fucceed-Fifteen hundred guineas were infifted on-I pleaded the young gentleman's acknowledged merit, and the public fervices of his brave father, who loft his life in fighting for his country; which so foftened my principal, that he funk his demand from

Wil. Fifteen to five hundred, I hope?

Gul. From guineas to pounds: I could get no further abatement.

Wil. It is a pity that such extraordinary merit should have no better fuccefs.

Gul. Ah, Mr Williams, if places were given to perfons of merit only, the Lord have mercy upon many a big-looking family!-Away; here's company a-coming! (Exit Williams.) Heyday! Who have we here? By his looks he must be one of the tribe of the Soupmaigres !

Enter a Frenchman.

French. Be votre nom Monfieur le Gulvelle?

Gul. It is, Sir-Your business?

French. Sire, me be tell dat dere be de grand nombre d'Academies Francoifes en Londres; and me vou'd be glad to be employé as un maitre de langues. Me fpeak a de Frens vid de vraie prononciation; an you fee befide

ma connoiffance in de langue Angloife be not de most inconfiderable..

Gul. O yes, Sir, you speak very pretty English, I must own!-Pray, what bufincfs have you been bred to? French. Bifnefs! do you means to front a me? me be von of de gens de qualité.

Gul. How, Sir, a perfon of quality, and fo poor as to be feeking after a livelihood?

French. Vy, vere be de vonders of all dat? Noting be more commun en France-Me dit indeed fometime, pour paffer le temps, amufe myfel vid curl a de air and cut a de corn of mine comrades de qualité of bot fex.

Gul. Sir, if you be a proficient in thefe fcienees, I give you joy with all my heart; for I don't know a more profitable calling in London, nay, nor a more reputable one; for its profeffors are carefs'd by perfons of the firft fashion and diftinction.-There's your countryman Monfieur Frizzelette de la Corneille, a hair and corn-cutter in St James's, that keeps his chariot, tho' 'tis fcarce half a fcore years fince he would have made a bow to the ground for a belly ful of foup-maigre.

French. And begar fo vould me too.

Gul. Sir, I will cook you up an advertisement as long as a proclamation, that will effectually do your bufinefs: In the mean time, I fhall give orders for one of the laconic kind, to hang in golden letters over your door; as, Hair and corns cut after the French tafte, by a perfon of quality."

French. Ay, dat vil do ver vel! Par une perfone de qualité.

Gul. But, Sir, as you are a man of rank, you may perhaps think it below your dignity to follow any profeffion that has the leaft appearance of bufinefs?

French. Non, non, Monfieur; tout a contraire.

Gul. Then I dare venture to fay, that in lefs than a dozen years you will be rich enough to return to your native country, and marry a princefs of the bloodHow, in the name of wonder, could you think of being a pitiful teacher of French for a livelihood, when you are poffeffed of talents fuperior to all the learning in the world?

VOL. III.

E e

French

French. Me vil tell you, Monfieur-It be no more as dix-leven-douze-tirteen-ay, tirteen year fince mon coufin com'd over to l'Angleterre to teafh a de Frens in de boarding-ecole-Vell, he did engagé de affection of de Angloife young lady, fa belle ecoliere; runn'd avay vid her; and fo, begar, he getted de vife, vid not lefs as von hundred tousand livres-Now, as mon coufin could marrié de lady vid fo mufh of de l'argent, vy may not me ope to do de fame?

Gul. True, Sir; but there's an ugly act of parliament fince that time, which hinders you fortune-hunting gen tlemen from gaining fuch wives.Well, Sir, you will depofit a fmall fum-two or three guineas or fo-and I fhall begin the advertisement.

French. Hey! vat you fay? depofit! Je n'entens pas depofit.

fies

Gul. Oh, Sir, I'll foon explain it-Depofit figni

French. Non, non, mon cher ami!-it be impoffible for me to know vat you means; for me do not underftand un mot de la langue Angloise.

Gul. Why, Sir, I thought your connoiffance in de langue Angloife had not been de most inconsiderable.

French. O Monfieur!.

[Mimicking him.

but dat-dat-dat vas une

autre chofe-quite anoder ting.

Gul. Well, Sir, I must have two or three guineas, by way of earnest, before I proceed any further in your bu finess.

French. Two tree ginee! begar, me could fo foon give you two tree million-Vat you take a me for? Un grand voleur? von tief?—You tink me ave rob your Inglife exchequer; for all de vorld know dat de exchequer of my countrée ave scarce fo much to be rob of-Let a me fee -me ave no more as von chelin- an von-tow-tree alf pence.

Gul. Thirteen pence halfpenny! a very critical fum in England- -Well, Sir, you may leave that in part; I must give you credit for the remainder.

[Frenchman gives him money. French. Dere, Sir-An fo, Monfieur le Gulvelle, you tink en verité me fal ride in my coafh?

Gul.

and

Gul. Not at all impoffible-Call again in a week, you fhall fee what I have done for you. French. Begar! you ave elevé' mine 'art

-Sire, me

be votre tres humble, tres obligé, & tres devoté ferviteur -O mon Dieu! Ride in my caroffe! [Exit. Gul. Your most humble servant, good Monfieur le Caroffe. If it were not for the credulity of mankind, what a plague would become of us office-keepers?

Enter Margery.

Mar. Sur, an I may be fo bold, l'fe come to ax an ye've sped about t' woman fervant, at ye advertis'd for? Gul. I have not-Come nearer, young woman. Mar. Let me fteck t' deer firft, an ye please.

[Shuts the door.

Gul. What countrywoman are you? Mar. I'fe Yorkshire, by my truly !-I was bred an bworn at Little Yatton, afide Rofeberry Topping. Gul. Roseberry Topping! Where is that, my pretty maid?

Mar. Certainly God! ye knaw Rofeberry? I thought ony fule had knawn Rofeberry !-'Tis t' biggest hill in oll Yorkshire-'Tis aboun a mile an a hofe high, an as coad as ice at' top on't i't hetteft fummer's daythat it is.

Gul. You've been in fome fervice, I fuppofe?

Mar. Ay, I'll uphode ye have I, ever fin I was neen year ald-Nay, makins, I'd a God's penny at Stowslah market, aboun hofe a year afore at I was neen-An as good a fervant I've been, thof I fay't myfel, as ever came within a pair o deers-I can milk, kurn, fother, bake, brew, fheer, winder, card, fpin, knit, few, and do every thing at belongs to a husbandman, as weel as ony lafs at ever ware clog-fheen: an as to my karacter, I defy ony body, gentle or fimple, to fay black's my nail.

Gul. Have you been in any place in London?
Mar. Ay, an ye please-

I liv'd wi Madam Shrillpipe, in St Pole's Kirk-Garth; but was forc'd to leave my place, afore at I had been a week o days in't.

Gul. How fo?

Mar. Marry, becofe fhe ommoft flighted an fcaulded me out o my wits-She was't arrantest scaud at ever I