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Lean. Don Diego, you know my father well, Don Alphonso de Luna; I am a scholar of this university, and am willing to submit to whatever punishment he, thro' your means, shall inflict; but wreak not your vengeance here.

Dieg. Thus then my hopes and cares are at once fruftrated; poffess'd of what I thought a jewel, I was defirous to keep it for myself; I rais'd up the walls of this house to a great height; I barr’d up my windows towards the street; I put double bolts on my doors; I banish'd all that had the shadow of man or male kind; and I stood continually centinel over it myself, to guard my fufpicion from surprise : thus secur'd, I left my watch for one little moment, and in that moment

Leon. Pray, pray, guardian, let me tell you the story, and you'll find I am not to blame.

Dieg. No, child, I only am to blame, who should have confidered that fixteen and fixty agree ill together. But tho' I was too old to be wise, I am not too old to learn; and so, I say, send for a smith directly, beat all the grates from my windows, take the locks from my doors, and let egress and regress be given freely.

I.eon. And will you be my husband, Sir?

Dieg. No, child, I will give you to one that will make you a better husband : here, young man, take her : if your parents consent, to-morrow shall see you join'd in the face of the church; and the dowry which I promised her, in case of failure on my side of the contract, shall now go with her as a marriage-portion.

Lean. Signor, this is so generous

Dieg. No thanks; perhaps I owe acknowledgments to you; but you, Ursula, have no excuse, no paflion to plead, and your age should have taught you better. I'll give you five hundred crowns, but never let me see you


Mun. And what you give me, Maffa?

Dieg. Baltinadoes for your drunkenness and infidelity. Call in my neighbours and friends. Oh! man! man! how short is your foresight, how ineffectual your prudence, while the very means you use are destructive of your ends!


Go forge me fetters that shall bind
The rage of the tempestuous wind;
Sound with a needleful of thread
The depth of Ocean's steepy bed;.
Snap like a twig the oak's tough tree;
Quench Etna with a cup of tea;
In these manoeuvres show your skill,

Then hold a woman if you will.
Urs. Permit me to put in a word.

My master here is quite absurd.
That men should rule our sex is meet;
But art, not force, muft do the feat:
Remember what the fable says,
Where the sun's warm and melting rays,
Soon bring about what wind and rain,

With all their fuss, attempt in vain.
Mun. And, Massa, be not angry, pray,

If Neger man a word should say;
Me have a fable pat as she,
Which wid dis matter will agre:
An owl once took it in his head
Wid some young pretty bird to wed;
But when his worship came to woo,

He could get none be de cuckoo.
Leon. Ye youth select, who wish to taste

The joys of wedlock pure and charte,
Ne’er let the mistress and the friend
An abject Nave and tyrant end.
While each with tender paffion burns,
Ascend the throne of rule by turns;
And place (to love, to virtue just)

Security in mutual trust.
I.ean. To sum up all you now have heard,

Young men and old, peruse the bard:
A female trusted to your care,
(His rule is pithy, short, and clear,)
Be to her faults a little blind;
Be to her virtues very kind;
Let all her ways be unconfin’d;
And clay your padlock on her mind.

Vol. III.



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To various things the frage bas been compar'd,

As apt ideas frike each bumorous bard:
This night, for want of better fimile,
Let this our theatre a tavern be;
The poets vintners, and the waiters we.
So, as the cant and custom of the trade is,
You're welcome, gem'min; and kindly welcome, ladies."
To draw in customers, our bills are spread;
You cannot miss the fign, 'tis Shakespeare's bead.



for such

From this fame bead, this fountain-head divine,
For different palates springs a different wine!
In wbich no tricks, to frengthen or to thin 'em-
Neat as importedano French brandy in 'em-
Hence, for the choiceft fpirits, flows Champaign;
W bofe sparkling atoms sooot thro' every vein,
Then mount in magic vapours to th' enraptur'd brain!
Hence flow, for martial minds, potations ftrong;
And sweet love-potions, for the fair and young.
For you, my hearts of oak, for your regale, [To the upper gallery,
There's good old Engli pingo, mild and ftale.
For bigb, luxurious fouls, with luscious Imack
There's Sir John Falstaff, is a butt of fack:
And if the Äronger liquors more invite ye,
Bardolph is gin, and Piftol aqua-vitæ.

foou'd you call for Falstaff, where to find him; Hi's

gone nor left one cup of Jack behind him.
Sunk in his elbow-chair, no more be'll roam;
No more, with merry wags, to Eastcbeape come:

gone to jest and laugb and give bis fack at bor, As for the learned critics,

grave and deep, Who catch at words, and catching fall asleep; Wbo in the forms of passion-bum-and bawl

our master will no liquor draw-
So blindly thoughtful, and so darkly read,
They take Tom Durffy's for the Shakespeare's bead.

A vintner once acquir'd both praise and gain,
And fold much perry for the best champaign.
Some rakes, this precious ftuff did fo allure,
They drank whole nights-wbat's that when wine is pure?
" Come fill a bumper, Jack--I will, my lord-
Here's cream!-damn'd fine !immense! upon my word ?".
Sir William, what say you?- The best, believe me
In this_eb Jack ! -- the devil can't deceive me.
Thus the wife critic, too, mistakes bis wine,
Cries out with lifted bands, 'tis great!m-divine !
Then jogs his neighbour, as the wonders ftrike bim;
This Shakespeare! Shakespeare !-—ob there's nothing like him!
In this night's various and inchanted cup,
Some little perry's mixt for filling up

The five long afts, from which our three are taken,
Stretch'd out to * sixteen years, lay by forsaken.
Left then this precious liquor run to wafte,
'Tis now confin’d and bottled to your taste.
'Tis my chief wiso, my joy, my only plan,
To lofé no drop of that immortal man!


B b 2

ACT The action of the Winter's Tale, as written by Shakespeare, comprehends fixteen years. [N. B. This prologue was spoken to the dramatic paftoral, called the Winter's Tale, and to this comedy, both of which are altered from Shakespeare, and were performed the fame





A C Τ Ι. .

SCENE, Baptifta's House.

HUS have I, 'gainst my own self-interest,

Repeated all the worst you are t expect
From my shrewd daughter Cath'rine; if you'll venture,
Maugre my plain and honeft declaration,
You have my free consent, win her, and wed her.

Pet. Signor Baptista, thus it stands with me:
Anthonio my father is deceased ;
You knew him well, and knowing him know me,
Left folely heir to all his lands and goods ;
Which I have better'd, rather than decreas'd.'
And I have thrust myself into the world,
Haply to wive and thrive as best I may :
My business asketh hafte, old Signor;
And ev'ry day I cannot come to woo.
Let fpecialties be therefore drawn between us,
That cov’nants may be kept on either hand.

Bap. Yes, when the special thing is well obtain'd,
My daughter's love; for that is all in all.

Pet. Why, that is nothing: for I tell you, father,
I am as peremptory as she proud-minded;
And where two raging fires meet together,
They do consume the thing that feeds their fury.
• Tho' little fire grows great with little wind,
Yet extreme gults will blow out fire and all;'
So I to her, and so she yields to me;
For I am rough, and woo not like a babe.

Grum. Nay, look you, Sir, he tells you flatly what • his mind is : why, give him gold enough, and marry * him to a puppet, or an old trot with ne'er a tooth in * her head. Tho' she had as many diseafes as two-and• fifty horses, why, nothing comes amiss, fo money comes withal.'

Bap. As I have show'd you, Sir, the coarser fide,
Now let me tell you, she is young and beauteous,
Brought up as best becomes a gentlewoman ;
Her only fault and that is fault enough)

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