G Phil. The old curmudgeon (afide) thinks nothing mean that brings in an honeft penny. Old Phil. The good boy! George, I have great hopes of thee. G Phil. Thanks to your example; you have taught me to be cautious in this wide world-Love your neighbour, but don't pull down your hedge. Old Phil. I profefs it is a wife saying-I never heard it before it is a wife faying; and fhows how cautious we should be of too much confidence in friendship. G Phil. Very true. Old Phil. Friendship has nothing to do with trade. G Phil. There was your neighbour's fon, Dick Worthy, who was always cramming his head with Greek and Latin at school; he wanted to borrow of me the other day; but I was too cunning. Old Phil. Ay, ay-Let him draw bills of exchange in Greek and Latin, and fee where he will get a pound fterling for them. G Phil. So I told him-I went to him to his garret in the Minories; and there I found him in all his mifery! and a fine fcene it was- There was his wife in a corner of the room, at a washing tub, up to the elbows in fuds; a folitary pork-fteak was dangling by a bit of pack-thread before a melancholy fire; himself feated at a three-legg'd table, writing a pamphlet against the German war; a child upon his left knee, his right-leg employed in rocking a cradle with a brattling in it—And fo there was bufinefs enough for them all-His wife rubbing away, (mimicks a washerwoman); and he writing on," The "king of Pruffia fhall have no more fubfidies-Saxony "shall be indemnify'd-He fhan't have a foot in Sile"fia." There is a fweet little baby! (to the child on his knee)-then he rock'd the cradle, hufh ho! hufh ho!then twifted the grifken (fnaps his fingers) hufh ho! "The Ruffians fhall have Pruffia," (writes.) The wife (washes and fings ) He-" There's a dear." Round goes "the grifken again (fnaps his fingers); and Canada must "be reftor'd," (writes.)-And fo you have a picture of the whole family. VOL. III. B Old Phil. Ha, ha! What becomes of his Greek and Latin now? Fine words butter no parfnips--He had no money from you, I fuppofe, George? G Phil. Oh! no; charity begins at home, fays I. Old Phil. And it was wifely faid--I have an excellent faying when any man wants to borrow of me-I am ready with my joke-" A fool and his money are foon parted"-ha, ha, ha! G Phil Ha, haOld Phil. Ay, ayparted-ha, ha, ha! An old fkin-flint. [Afide. a fool and his money are foon G. Phil. Now if I can wring a handfome fum out of him, it will prove the truth of what he fays. (Afide.) And yet trade has its inconveniences- Great houfes ftopping payment! Old Phil. Hey-what! you look chagrin'd!-Nothing of that fort has happened to thee, I hope? G Phil. A great houfe at Cadiz-Don John de Alvarada The Spanish galleons not making quick returns -and fo my bills are come back. Old Phil. Ay!. [Shakes his head. G Phil. I have indeed a remittance from Meffina. That voyage yields me thirty per cent. pronit-But this blow coming upon me. Old Phil. Why this is unlucky-how much money? G Phil. Three-and-twenty hundred. Old Phil. George, too many eggs in one basket; I'll tell thee, George, i expect Sir Jafper Wilding here prefently to conclude the treaty of marriage I have on foot for thee then hufh this up, fay nothing of it, and in a day or two you pay these bills with his daughter's por tion. : G Phil. The old rogue (afide.) That will never do; I fhall be blown upon 'Change- Alvarada will pay in time-He has open'd his affairs-He appears a good man. Old Phil. Does he? G Phil. A great fortune left; will pay in time, but I muit crack before that. Old Phil. It is unlucky! A good man you fay he is? G Phil. Nobody better. Old Phil. Let me fee-Suppofe I lend this money? G Phil. G Phil. Ah, Sir. Old Phil. How much is your remittance from Meffina? Old Phil. Then you want fifteen hundred and fifty. Old Phil. Don Alvarada is a good man, you say? Old Phil. I will venture to lend the money-You must allow me commiffion upon those bills for taking them up for honour of the drawer. G Phil. Agreed. Old Phil. Lawful intereft while I am out of my money. G Phil. I fubscribe. Old Phil. A power of attorney to receive the monies from Alvarada when he makes a payment. G Phil. You fhall have it. Old Phil. Your own bond. Old Phil. Go and get me a check-You shall have a draught on the bank. G Phil. Yes, Sir. [Going. Old Phil. But ftay-I had forgot-I muft fell out for this->tocks are under par.. You must pay the dif ference. G Phil. Was ever fuch a leech! (afide.) By all means, Sir. Old Phil. Step and get me a check. G Phil. A fool and his money are foon parted. [Afide. [Exit G Philpot. Old Philpot folus. What with commiffion, lawful intereft, and his paying the difference of the ftocks, which are higher now than when I bought in, this will be no bad morning's work; and then in the evening, I fhall be in the rareft fpirits for this new adventure I am recommended toLet me see what is the lady's name, (Takes a letter out.) Corinna! ay, ay, by the description she is a bale of goods--I fhall be in rare fpirits-Ay, this is the way, to indulge one's paffions and yet conceal them, and to mind one's bufinefs in the city here as if one had no B 3 paffions paffions at all-I long for the evening, methinks-Body o'me-I am a young man ftill. Enter Quilldrive. Quill. Sir Jafper Wilding, Sir, and his daughter. Enter Sir Japer and Maria. [Sir Jafper dressed as a fox-hunter, and finging.] Old Phil. Sir Jafper, your very humble fervant. Sir Jafp. Mafter Philpot, I be glad to zee ye, I am indeed. Old Phil. The like compliment to you, Sir Jasper. Mifs Maria, I kifs your fair hand. Maria. Sir, your moft obedient. Sir Jafp. Ay, ay, I ha' brought un to zee you There's my girl-I ben't afham'd of my girl. Maria. That's more than I can say of my fatherluckily thefe people are as much strangers to decorum as my old gentleman, otherwife this vifit from a lady to meet her lover would have an odd appearance- -Tho' but late a boarding-fchool girl, I know enough of the world for that. [Afide. Old Phil. Truly fhe is a blooming young lady, Sir Jafper, and I verily fhall like to take an intereft in her. Sir Fafp. I ha brought her to zee ye, and zo your zon may ha' her as foon as he will. Old Phil. Why she looks three and a half per cent. better than when I faw her laft. Maria. Then there is hopes that in a little time I fhall be above par- -he rates me like a lottery-ticket. [Afide. Old Phil. Ay, ay, I doubt not, Sir Jafper: Mifs has the appearance of a very fenfible, difcreet young lady; and to deal freely, without that fhe would not do for my fon-George is a fhrewd lad, and I have often heard him declare no confideration fhould ever prevail on him to marry a fool. Maria. Ay, you have told me fo before, old gentleman, and I have my cue from my brother; and if I don't foon give mafter George a surfeit of me, why then I am not a notable girl. [Afide. Enter George Philpot. G Phil. A good clever old cuff this-after my own heart heart-I think I'll have his daughter, if 'tis only for the pleafure of hunting with him. Sir Jafp. Zon-in-law, gee us your hand-What zay you? Are you ready for my girl? too. G Phil. Say grace as foon as you will, Sir, I'll fall Sir Jafp. Well zaid—I like you—I like un, mafter Philpot-I like un-I'll tell you what, let un talk to her now. Old Phil. And fo he fhall-George, fhe is a bale of goods; fpeak her fair now, and then you'll be in cash. G Phil. I think I had rather not speak to her nowI hate fpeaking to those modeft women-Sir;-Sir, a word in your ear; had not I better break my mind by advertifing for her in a newspaper? Old Phil. Talk fenfe to her, George; fhe is a notable girl and I'll give the draft upon the bank fently. Sir Jafp. Come along, mafter Philpotlong; I ben't afraid of my girl. come along. pre come a [Exeunt Sir Jafper and Old Phil. Maria. A pretty fort of a lover they have found for me. [Afide. G Phil. How fhall I fpeak my mind to her? She is almost a stranger to me. [Afide. Maria. Now I'll make the hideous thing hate me if I can. Afide. G Phil. Ay, fhe is as sharp as a needle, I warrant her. [Afide. Maria, (afide.) When will he begin?—Ah, you fright! You rival Mr Beaufort! i'll give him an avertion to me, that's what I will, and fo let him have the trouble of breaking off the match: not a word yet-he is in a fine confu fion. (Looks foolish.) I think I may as well fit down, Sir. G Phil. Ma'am-I—I—I—( frighted.) —I'll hand you a chair, Ma'amthere, Ma'am. Maria. Sir, I thank you. G Phal. I'll fit down too. Maria Heigho! G Phil. Ma'am! [Bows aukwardly. [In confufion. G Phil. B 3 |