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c'est-à-dire, that I can with a most intrepid fang froid, without a fingle emotion, fupport all this form of female fury. But, adieu, ma belle; and when a cool hour of reflection has made you fenfible of the propriety of my propofals, I fhall expect the honour of a card.
Luc. be gone for ever.
Buck. Pour jamais! 'Fore gad, she would make an admirable actrice. If I once get her to Paris, fhe fhall 、 play a part in my piece.
[Exit.' Luc. I am afham'd this thing has had the power to move me thus. Who waits there? Defire Mr CrabEnter Lord John and Crab.
L John. We have been unwillingly, Madam, filent witneffes to this fhameful fcene. I blush that a creature, who wears the outward mark of humanity, fhou'd be in his morals fo much below
Crab. Pr'ythee why didit thou not call thy maids, and tofs the booby in a blanket?
L John. If I might be permitted, Madam, to conclude what I intended faying, when interrupted by Mr Crab
Luc. My Lord, don't think me guilty of affectation, I believe I guefs at your generous defign: but my temper is really fo ruffled; befides, I am meditating a piece of female revenge on this coxcomb.
L John. Dear Madam, can I affift?
Luc. Only by defining my maid to bring hither the tea.-My Lord, I am confounded at the liberty, butL John. No apology-You honour me, Madam. [Exit,
Crab. And pry'thee, wench, what is thy scheme? Luc. Oh, a very harmless one, I promise you. Crab. Zounds, I am forry for it. I long to fee the puppy feverely puuifhed, methinks.
Luc. Sir Charles, I fancy, can't be yet got out of the houfe. Will you defire him to ftep hither?
Crab. I'll bring him.
Luc. No, I wish to have him alone.
Crab. Why then I'll fend him.
[Exit. Luc. Place these things or the table, a chair on each
fide-very well. Do you keep within call. But hark, he is here. Leave me, Lettice. [Exit Lettice.
Buck. So, fo, I thought he wou'd come to; but, I confefs, not altogether fo foon. Eh bien, ma belle, see me ready to receive your commands.
Luc. Pray be feated, Sir Charles. I am afraid the natural warmth of my temper might have hurried me into fome expreffions not altogether so suitable.
Buck. Ah, bagatelle. Name it not.
Luc. Will you drink tea, Sir?
Buck. Volontiers. This tea is a pretty innocent kind of beverage; I wonder the French don't take it. I have fome thoughts of giving it a fashion next winter.
Luc. That will be very obliging. It is of extreme fervice to the ladies this fide the water, you know.
Buck. True, it promotes parties, and infufes a kind of fpirit into converfation, that
Luc En voulez-vous encore?
Buck. Je vous rends mille graces."-But what has occafioned me, ma reine, the honour of your meffage by Mr Crab?
Luc. The favours I have received from your family, Sir Charles, I thought demanded from me, at my quitting your house, a more decent and ceremonious adieu than our laft interview would admit of.
Buck. Is that all, ma chere? I thought your flinty heart had at laft relented. Well, ma reine, adieu.
Luc. Can you then leave me?
Buck. The fates will have it fo.
Luc. Go then, perfidious traitor, be gone; I have this confolation however, that if I cannot legally poffefs you, no other woman fhall.
Buck. Hey, how, what!
Luc. And though the pleasure of living with you is deny'd me, in our deaths, at least, we fhall foon be united.
Buck. Soon be united in death! When, child?
Buck. Which way?
Luc. The fatal draught's already at my heart. I feel it here; it runs thro' every pore. Pangs, pangs, unut
terable! The tea we drank, urg'd by defpair and loveOh!
Luc. I poifon'd
Buck. The devil!
Luc. And as my generous heart wou'd have fhar'd all with you, I gave you half.
Buck. Oh, curfe your generofity!
Luc. Indulge me in the cold comfort of a laft em. brace.
Buck. Embrace! O confound you! But it may❜nt be too late. Macruthen, Jonquil, phyficians, apothecaries, oil, and antidotes. Oh! Je meurs, je meurs! Ah, la diableffe! [Exit Buck.
Enter Lord John and Crab.
Crab. A brave wench. I cou'd kifs thee for this contrivance.
L John. He really deferves it all.
Crab. Deferves it! Hang him. But the fenfible refentment of this girl has almoft reconciled me to the world again. But ftay, let us fee-Can't we make a farther ufe of the puppy's punishment? I fuppofe we may very fafely depend on your contempt of him?
Luc. Moft fecurely,
Crab. And this young thing here has been breathing paffions and proteftations. But I'll take care my girl fhan't go a beggar to any man's bed. We must have this twenty thousand pound, Lucy.
L John. I regard it not. Let me be happy, and let him
Grab. Pfha, don't scorch me with thy flames. ferve your raptures; or, if they must have vent, retire into that room whilst I go plague the puppy.
[Exit Crab one way, Lucy and L John another. SCENE changes, and difcovers Buck, Macruthen, Jonquil, Bearnois, La Loire, Surgeon. Buck in a cap ant night-gown.
Surg. This copious phlebotomy will abate the inflammation; and if the fix blifters on your head and back rise, why there may be hopes.
Buck. Cold comfort. I burn, I burn, I burn-Ah, there's a fhoot. And now again, I freeze.
Mac. Ay, They are aw symptoms of a strong poi
Buck. Oh, I am on the rack.
Mac. Oh, if it be got to the vitals, a fig for aw antidotes.
Crab. Where is this miferable devil? What, is he alive fill?
Mac. In gude troth, and that's aw.
Crab. So, you have made a pretty piece of work on't, young man!
Buck. O what cou'd provoke me to return from Paris!
Crab. Had you never been there, this cou'd not have happened.
• Enter Racket and Tallyhoe.
• Rack. Where is he?-He's a dead man, his eyes are 'fix'd already.
Tally. Who poifon'd him, Racket?
Rack. Gad I don't know.— His French cook, I • reckon.'
Crab. Were there a poffibility of thy reformation, I have yet a fecret to restore thee.
Buck. Oh give it, give it!
It must be on good conditions.
Crab. First, then, renounce thy right to that lady, whofe juft refentment has drawn this punishment upon thee, and in which fhe is an unhappy partaker.
Buck. I renounce her from my foul.
Crab. To this declaration you are witneffes. Next, your tawdry trappings, your foreign foppery, your wafhes, paints, pomades, muit blaze before your door.
Buck. What, all?
Crab. All; not a rag fhall be referv'd. The execution of this part of your fentence fhall be affign'd to your old friends here.
Buck. Well, take 'em.
Tally. Huzzah! Come, Racket, let's rummage.'
Crab. And, laftly, I'll have these exotic atttendants, thefe inftruments of your luxury, thefe pandars to your pride, pack'd in the firft cart, and fent poft to the place from whence they came.
Buck. Spare me but La Jonquil.
Crab. Not an inftant. The importation of thefe puppies makes a part of the politics of your old friends the French; unable to refist you whilft you retain your ancient roughness, they have recourse to thefe minions, who would first by unmanly means fap and foften all your native spirit, and then deliver you an easy prey to their employers.
Buck. Since then it must be fo, adieu La Jonquil. [Exeunt Servants. Crab. And now to the remedy. Come forth, Lucinda.
Enter Lucinda and Lord John.
Buck. Hey, why did fhe not swallow the poifon? Crab. No; nor you neither, you blockhead. Buck. Why, did not I leave you in pangs? Luc. Ay, put on. The tea was innocent, upon my honour, Sir Charles. But you allow me to be an excellent actrice.
Enter Racket and Tallyhoe."
Buck. Oh, curfe your talents!
Crab. This fellow's public' renunciation has put your perfon and fortune in your own power: and if you were fincere in your declaration of being directed by me, beftow it there.
Luc. As a proof of my fincerity, my Lord, receive
L John. With more tranfport than Sir Charles the news of his fafety.
Luc. to Buck. You are not at present in a condition to take poffeffion of your poft..
Luc. Oh, you recollect; my Lord's private friend; his affiftant, you know.
Buck. Oh, oh!
Mac. But, Sir Charles, as I find the affair of the poi fon was but a joke, had na' ye better withdraw and tack off your blifters?