.

Enter Servant.

Ser. Your clerk, SirThe parties, he fays, are all in waiting at your chambers.

Lat. I come. I will but juft explain to Mr Crab the nature of a burglary, as it has been described by a late ftatute.

Crab. Zounds, Sir! I have not the leaft curiofity.

Lat. Sir, but every gentleman fhould know

• Crab. I won't know.-Befides, your clientsLat. O, they may stay. I shan't take up five minutes, SirA burglary

Crab. Not an inftant.

Lat. By the common law'

Crab. I'll not hear a word.

Lat. It was but a clauftrum fregit.'

Crab. Dear Sir, be gone.

Lat. But by the late acts of par

Crab. Help, you dog. Zounds, Sir, get out of my houfe.

Ser. Your clients, Sir

Crab. Push him out. (The lawyer talking all the while.) So ho! Hark'ee, rafcal, if you fuffer that fellow to enter my doors again, I'll ftrip and discard you the very next minute. (Exit Ser.) This, is but the beginning of my torments. But that I expect the young whelp from abroad every inftant, I'd fly for it my felf, and quit the kingdom at once.

Enter Servant.

Ser. My young mafter's travelling tutor, Sir, just arrived.

Crab. Oh, then I fuppofe the blockhead of a baronet is clofe at his heels. Show him in. This bear-leader, I reckon now, is either the clumfey curate of the knight's parish-church; or fome needy Highlander, the outcast of his country, who, with the pride of a German baron, the poverty of a French marquis, the addrefs of a Swiss foldier, and the learning of an academy ufher, is to give our heir-apparent politenefs, tafte, literature; a perfect knowledge of the world, and of himself.

Enter Macruthen.

Mac. Maifter Crab, I am your devoted fervant.

2

Crab.

Crab. Oh, a British child, by the mefs.'Well, where's your charge?

Mac. O, the young baronet is o'the road. I was mighty afraid he had o'rta'en me; for between Canterbury and Rochester, I was stopt and robb'd by a highwayman.

Crab. Robb'd! What the devil cou'd he rob you of? Mac. In gude troth, not a mighty booty. Buchanan's hiftory, Lauder againft Melton, and two pound of highdry'd Glafcow.

Crab. A good travelling equipage. Well, and what's become of your cub? Where have you left him?

Mac. Main you Sir Charles?—I left him at Calais, with another young nobleman returning from his travels. But why caw ye him cub, Maifter Crab? In gude troth, there's a meeghty alteration.

Crab. Yes, yes; I have a fhrewd guefs at his improve

ments.

Mac. He's quite a phenomenon.

Crab. Oh, a comet, I dare swear; but not an unusual one at Paris. The Faux-bourg of St Germain's fwarms with fuch, to the no fmall amufement of our very good friends the French.

Mac. Oh, the French were mighty fond of him.

Grab. But as to the language, I fuppofe he's a perfect mafter of that?

Mac. He can caw for aught that he need; but he is na quite maifter of the accent.

Crab. A moft aftonishing progrefs!

Mac. Sufpend your judgment a while, and you'll find kim all you wish, allowing for the fallies of juvenility; and I must take the vanity to myself of being, in a great mea fure, the author.

Crab. Oh, if he be but a faithful copy of the admirable original, he must be a finifh'd piece.

Mac. You are pleafed to compliment.

Crab. Not a whit. Well, and what-I fuppofe you and your- -What's your name?

Mac. Macruthen, at your service.

Crab. Macruthen! Hum! You and your pupil agreed very well?

VOL. III.

K

Mas.

Mac. Perfectly. The young gentleman is of an amiable difpofition.

Crab. Oh, ay; and it would be wrong to four his emper. You know your duty better, I hope, than to tcontradict him.

• Mac. It was na for me, Maister Crab.

Crab. Oh, by no means, Mr Macruthen; all your bus'nefs was to keep him out of frays; to take care, for the fake of his health, that his wine was genuine, and his miftreffes as they fhou'd be. You pimp'd for him, I fuppofe?

Mac, Pimp for him! D'ye mean to affront

Crab. To fuppofe the contrary would be the affront, . Mr Tutor. What, man, you know the world. 'Tis not by contradiction, but by compliance, that men make their fortunes. And was it for you to thwart the humour of a lad upon the threshold of ten thousand pounds a-year?

Mac. Why, to be fure, great allowances must be • made.

• Crab. No doubt, no doubt!'

Mac. I fee, Maister Crab, you know mankind. You are Sir John Buck's executor.

Crab. True.

Mac. I have a little thought that may be useful to us

both.

Crab. As how?

Mac. Cou'd na we contrive to make a hond o' the young baronet.

Crab. Explain.

Mac. Why you, by the will, have the care o' the cash; and I can make a fhift to manage the lad.

Crab. Oh, I conceive you. And fo between us both, we may contrive to cafe him of that inheritance which he knows not how properly to employ, and apply it to our own ufe. You do know how.

Mac. Ye ha' hit it.

Crab. Why, what a fuperlative rascal art thou, thou inhofpitable villain! Under the roof and in the prefence of thy benefactor's reprefentative, with almoft his illbeflowed bread in thy mouth, art thou plotting the perdition of his only child? And from what part of my life

didst thou derive a hope of my compliance with fuch a hellish fcheme?

'Mac. Maifter Crab, I am of a nation

'Grab. Of known honour and integrity—I allow it. The kingdom you have quitted, in configning the care of its monarch. for ages, to your predeceffors, in pre'ference to its proper fubjects, has given you a brilliant panegyric, that no other people can parallel,

Mac. Why, to be sure

Grab. And one happiness it is, that though national 'glory can beam a brightness on particulars, the crimes ⚫ of individuals can never reflect a difgrace upon their country. Thy apology but aggravates thy guilt.' Mac. Why, Maifter Crab, I

Crab. Guilt and confufion choak thy utterance. A. void my fight; vanish. [Exit. Mac.] A fine fellow this to protect the perfon, inform the inexperience, direct and moderate the defires of an unbridled boy! But can it be ftrange, whilft the parent negligently accepts a fu •perficial recommendation to fo important a truft, that the perfon, whose wants, perhaps, more than his abili 'ties, make defirous of it, fhould confider the youth as a kind of property, and not study what to make him, but what to make of him; and thus prudently lay a ⚫ foundation for his future fordid hopes, by a criminal compliance with the lad's prefent prevailing paffions? But vice and folly rule the world-Without, there. (Enter Ser.) Rafcal, where d'you run, blockhead? Bid the girl come hither.-Fresh inftances, every moment, fortify my abhorrence, my deteftation, of mankind. This turn may be term'd mifanthropy, and imputed to cha grin and disappointment; but it can only be by those fools who, thro' softness or ignorance, regard the faults of others, like their own, thro' the wrong end of the * perfpeétive.'

6

Enter Lucinda.

So, what, I fuppofe your spirits are all afloat? You have heard your fellow's coming.

Luc. If you had your ufual difcernment, Sir, you wou'd distinguish in my countenance an expreffion very different from that of joy.

K2

Crab.

Crab. Oh, what, I fuppofe your monkey has broke his chain, or your parrot dy'd in moulting.

Luc. A perfon lefs cenforious than Mr Crab might affign a more generous motive for my diftrefs.

Crab. Diftrefs! A pretty poetical phrafe! What metive can't thou have for diftrefs? Has not Sir John Buck's death affured thy fortune? and art not thou————

Luc. By that very means a helplefs, unprotected orphan.

Crab. Poh! pr'ythee, wench, none of thy romantic cant to me. What, I know the fex: the objects of every woman's wifh are property and power. The first you have, and the fecond you won't be long without; for here's a puppy riding post to put on your chains.

Luc. It wou'd appear affectation not to understand you. And, to deal freely, it was upon that subject I wifh'd to engage you.

• Crab. Your information was needlefs; I knew it.' Luc. Nay, but why fo fevere? I did flatter myself that the very warm recommendation of your deceafed friend wou'd have abated a little of that rigour.

Crab. No wheedling, Lucy. Age and contempt have long fhut thefe gates against flattery and diffimulation. You have no fex for me. Without preface, speak your purpose.

Luc. What then, in a word, is your advice with regard to my marrying Sir Charles Buck?

Crab. And do you seriously want my advice?

Luc, Moft fincerely.

Crab. Then you are a blockhead. Why, where cou'd you mend yourself? Is not he a fool, a fortune, and in love?-Look'ee, girl. (Enter Servant.) Who fent for you, Sir?

Ser. Sir, my young mafter's poft-chaife is broke down at the corner of the street by a coal-cart. His cloaths are all dirt, and he fwears like a trooper.

Crab. Ay! Why then carry his chaife to the coachmaker's, his coat to a fcowerer's, and him before a ju ftice Pr'ythee, why doft trouble me? I fuppofe you wou'd not meet your gallant.

Luc. Do you think I fhou'd?

Crab. No, retire. And if this application for my ad