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irg; I like it of all things ; I'll do it, I will ; and I will fo plague him, that he saan't know what to make of me
He shall be a very toad-eater to me; the four, the sweet, the bitter, he shall swallow all, and all shall work upon him alike for my diverfion. Say nothing of it 'tis all among ourselves; but I won't be cruel. I hate ill-nature; and then who knows but I may like him?
Beau. My dear Maria, don't talk of liking him.
Sing. Voi Amanti, &c. and exit: Beau. 'Sdeath, Wilding, I shall never be your bro--ther-in-law at this rate.
Wild. Plha, follow me; don't be apprehensive. I'll giver her farther instructions, and she will execute them. 1 warrant you: the old fellow's daughter shall be mine and the son may go shift for himself elsewhere.
Scene, Old Philpot's House. Enter Old Philpot, Dapper, and Quilldrive. Old Phil. Quilldrive, have those dollars been fent to the bank, as I order'd ?
Quill. They have, Sir..
Old Phil. Very well.-Mr Dapper; I am not fond of: writing any thing of late ; but at your request
Dap. You know I would not offer you a bad policy..
Old Phil. I believe it. Well, ftep with me to my clo-fet, and I will look at your policy-How much do you wait upon
it? Dap. Three thousand: you had better take the whole; there are very good names upon it.
Old Phil. Well, well, step with me, and I'll talk to you-Quillerive, step with those bills for acceptance This way, Mr Dapper, this way.
[Exeunt. Quilldrive folus. Quill. A miserly old rascal ! digging, digging money, out of the very hearts of mankind; conftantly, constant. ly scraping together, and yet trembling with anxiety for fear of coming to want. A canting old hypocrite! and yet under his veil of fanctity he has a liquorik tooth: left-running to the other end of the town fily every evening; and there he has his folitary pleasures in holes , and corners..
George Philpot, peeping in.
G Phil. (Walks in on tip-toe.) Does he know I did noć lie at home?
Quill. No; I sunk that upon him..
G Phil. Well done; I'll give you a choice gelding to carry you to Dulwich of a Sunday- -Damnation ! up all night-tripped of nine hundred pounds-pretty well for one night !-Piqued, repiqued, flammed, and capotted every deal!--Old Dry-beard shall pay all — Is forty-seven good? no-fifty good ? no, no, no-to the end of the chapter-Cruel luck !--Damn me, 'tis life tho'—this is life’sdeath! I hear him coming (runs off and peeps )-na, all's fafe-I must not be caught in these cloaths, Quilldrive.
Quill. How came it you did not leave them at Madam Corinna’s, as you generally do?
G Pbil. I was afraid of being too late for Old Squaretoes; and so I whipt into a hackney-coach, and drove with the windows up, as if I was afraid of a bum-bailiff - Pretty cloaths, an't they? Quill. Ah! Sir
G Pbil. Reach me one of my mechanic city-frocks no-stay-'tis in the next room, an't it?
Quill. Yes, Sir.
Quilldrive folus. Quill. Mercy on us! what a life does he leads! Old Cojer within here will scrape together for him, and the moment young Master comes to poffefsion, “ Ill got, ill gone,” I warrant me: a hard card I have to play between 'em both-drudging for the old man, and pimping for the young one- The father is a reservoir of riches, and the son is a fountain to play it all away in vanity and folly!
Re-enter George Philpot. G Phil. Now I'm equipp*d for the city-Damn the
city-I wish the Papishes would fet fire to it again-I hate to be beating the hoof here among them- Here comes father—no ;-'tis Dapper..Quilldrive, I'll give you the gelding. Quill. Thank you, Sir. .
[Exit. Enter Dapper. Dap. Why, you look like a devil, George.
G Phil. Yes; I have been up all night, loft all my money, and I am afraid I muft fmalh for it.
Dap. Smash for it—what have I let you into the fea cret for? Have not I advised you to trade upon your own account and you feel the sweets of it.-How much do you owe in the city?
G Phil. At least twenty thousand.
Dap. Poh, that's nothing! Bring it up to fifty or fixty thousand, and then give 'em a good crash at once I have insured the ship for you. G Phil. Have you?
Dap. The policy's full; I have juft touch'd your father for the last three thousand.
G Phil. Excellent ! are the goods re-landed ?'
Dap. Every bale-I have had them up tò town, and fold them all to a packer for you.
G Phil. Bravo! and the ship is loaded with rubbish, I suppofe?
Dap. Yes; and is now proceeding on the voyage.
G Phil. Very well--and to-morrow, or next day, we Mall hear of her being loft upon the Goodwin; or sunk between the Needles.
G Phil. Admirable ! and then we shall come upon the underwriters.
[Embraces him. Dap: Yes; I do a dozen every year. How do you think I can live as I do, otherwise?
G Phil. Very true; shall you be at the club after 'Change?
Dap. Without fail.
G Phil. That's right; it will be a full meeting : we fhall have Nat Pigtail the dry-falter there, and Bob Rep
tile the change-broker, and Soberlides the banker-WC shall all be there. We shall have deep doings.
Dap: Yes, yes; well, a good morning ; I must go now and fill up a policy for a ship that has been loft these three days.
G Phil. My dear Daper, thou art the best of friends.
Dap. Ay, I'll stand by you-It will be time enough for you to break when you see your father near his end; then give 'em a smash ; put yourself at the head of his fortune, and begin the world again-Good morning.
[Exit. G. Philpot folus. G Phil. Dapper, adieu-Who now, in my situation, would envy any of your great folks at the court-end! A lord has nothing to depend upon but his estate ---He can't spend you a hundred thoufend pounds of other peoples money-no-no-I had rather be a little bobwig citizen in good credit, than a commiffioner of the customs Commissioner!--The King has not so good a thing in his gift as a commission of bankruptcy-Don't we see them all with their country-seats at Hogsdon, and at Kentish-town, and at Newington-butts, and at Inington; with their little flying Mercuries tipt on the top of the house, their Apollos, their Venuses, and their leaden Hercules's in the garden; and themselves fitting before the door, with pipes in their moutis, waiting for a good digestion---Zoons! here comes old dad; now for a few dry maxims of left-handed wisdom, to prove myself a scoundrel in sentiment, and pass in his eyes for a hopeful young man likely to do well in the world.
Enter Old Philpot. Old Phil. Twelve times twelve is i
144. G Phil. I'll attack him in his own way- Commission at two and a half per cent. Old Phil. There he is, intent upon
business! What, plodding, George?
G Phil. Thinking a little of the main chance, Sir. Old Phil. That's right; it is a wide world, George.
G Phil. Yes, Sir; but you instructed me early in the rudiments of trade.
Old Phil. Ay, ay! I instillid good principles into thee.
G Phil. So you did, Sir-Principal and interest is all I ever heard from him, (aside.) I shall never forget the ftory you recommended to my earliest notice, Sir.
Old Phil. What was that, George? It is quite out of my head.
'G Phil. It intimated, Sir, how Mr Thomas Inkle, of London, merchant, was cast away, and was afterwards protected by a young lady, who grew in love with him, and how he afterwards bargained with a planter to fell her for a slave.
Old Phil. Ay, ay, (laughs) I recollect it now.
G Phil. And when she pleaded being with child by him, he was no otherwise mov'd than to raise his price, and make her turn better to account.
Old Phil. (Bursts into a laugh.) I remember it-ha, ha!-there was the very spirit of trade ! ay-ay-ha, ha!
Ġ Phil. That was calculation for you.
G Phil. The Rule of Three-If one gives me so
Old Phil. Ay, ay! It is a leffon for all young men. It was a hit indeed, ha, ha!
[Both laugh. G Phil. What an old negro it is.
[Aside. Old Phil. Thou art a fon after my own heart, George.
G Phil. Trade must be minded-A penny fav’d, is a penny got
Old Phil. Ay, ay, [Shakes his head, and looks cunning. i G Phil. He that hath money in his purse won't want a head on his shoulders.
Old Phil. Ay, ay.
G Phil. Rome was not built in a day-Fortunes are made by degrees-- l'ains to get, care to keep, and fear
Oid Pbil. Ay, ay.