Y Wild. What the devil is all this?.

Kit. Are all your oaths, your proteftations, come to this? Have I deferv'd fuch treatment? Quitted my father's house, left all my friends, and wander'd here alone in fearch of thee, thou first, laft, only object of my love.

O Wild. To what can all this tend? unriddle this mystery.

r Wild. Davus, non

Hark ye, Sir,

dipus, fum. It is beyond me, I confefs. Some lunatic escap'd from her keeper, I fuppofe.

Kit. Am I difown'd then, contemn'd, flighted?

O Wild. Hold; let me inquire into this matter a little. Pray, Madam—You seem to be pretty familiar here -Do you know this gentleman?

Kit. Too well.

O Wild. His name?

Kit. Wilding.

O Wild. So far fhe is right. Now your's, if you please? Kit. Wilding.

Omnes. Wilding!

O Wild. And how came you by that name, pray? Kit. Moft lawfully, Sir: by the facred band, the holy tie that made us one.

O Wild. What, marry'd to him!

Kit. Moft true.

Omnes. How!

r Wild. Sir, may I never

O Wild. Peace, monster!

Your maiden name?

Kit. Sybthorpe.

One queftion more:

O Wild. Lydia, from Abington, in the county of Berks?

Kit. The fame.

O Wild. As I fufpected. So then the whole ftory is true, and the monster is marry'd at last.

r Wild. Me, Sir! By all that's

O Wild. Eternal dumbnefs feize thee, meafureless liar!

r Wild. If not me, hear this gentleman-Marquis

Pap. Not I; I'll be drawn into none of your scrapes:

it is a pit of your own digging; and fo get out as well Mean time I'll shift for myself.

as you can.

O Wild. What evasion now, monster?

M. God. Deceiver!

O Wild. Liar!

M. God. Impoftor!

[Exit.

r Wild. Why, this is a general combination to diftract me; but I will be heard. Sir, you are grofsly impos'd upon the low contriver of this woman's fhallow artifice I fhall foon find means to difcover; and as to you, Madam, with whom I have been fuddenly furpris'd into a contract, I most folemnly declare this is the first time I ever fat eyes on you.

O Wild. Amazing confidence! Did not I bring her at your own request?

Y Wild. No.

M God. Is not this your own letter?
Y Wild. No.

Kit. Am not I your wife?

Y Wild. No.

O Wild. Did not you own it to me?

Y Wild. Yes-that is-no, no.

Kit. Hear me.

Y Wild. No.

M God. Answer me.

Y Wild. No.

O Wild. Have not I

r Wild. No, no, no.

Zounds! you are all mad; and

[Exit.

if I ftay, I fhall catch the infection.

Enter Sir James Elliot and Mifs Grantam.

Omnes. Ha, ha, ha!

Mr Gr. Finely perform'd.

O Wild. You have kept your promife, and I thank you, Madam.

M Gr. My medicine was fomewhat rough, Sir; but in defperate cafes, you know

O Wild. If his cure is completed, he will gratefully acknowledge the caufe; if not, the punishment comes far fhort of his crimes. It is needlefs to pay you any compliments, Sir James; with that lady you can't fail to be happy. I shan't venture to hint a fcheme I have greatly at heart, till we have undeniable proofs of the VOL. II. fuccefs

R

fuccefs of our operations. To the ladies, indeed, no character is fo dangerous as that of a liar :

They in the fairest fames can fix a flaw,
And vanquish females whom they never faw.

EPILOGUE.

Between Mifs GRANTAM and OLD WILDING.

M. Gr. H

By a Man of Fashion.

OLD, Sir!

Our plot concluded, and ftri&t justice done,

Let me be heard as counfel for your fon.
Acquit I can't, I mean to mitigate;
Profcribe all lying, what would be the fate
Of this and every other earthly state?
Confider, Sir, if once you cry it down,
You'll fhut up ev'ry coffee-house in town:
The tribe of politicians will want food;
Ev'n now half famifh'd-for the public good.
All Grubftreet murderers of men and fenfe,
And ev'ry office of intelligence,

All would be bankrupts, the whole lying race,

And no Gazette to publish their difgrace.

0. Wild. Too mild a fentence; muft the good and great

Patriots be wronged, that book fellers may eat?

M. Gr. Your patience, Sir; yet hear another word.
Turn to that hall where Juftice wields her fword:
Think in what narrow limits you would draw,
By this profcription, all the fons of law :
For 'tis the fix'd, determin'd rule of courts,
Vyner will tell you, nay, ev'n Coke's reports,
All pleaders may, when difficulties rife,
To gain one truth, expend a hundred lies.

0. Wild. To curb this practice I am fomewhat loath;

A lawyer has no credit but an oath.

M. Gr. Then to the fofter fex fome favour fhow:

Leave no poffeffion of our modeft No!

0. Wild. Oh, freely, Ma'am, we'll that allowance give, So that two Noes be held affirmative:

Provided ever that your pifh and fie,

On all occafions fhould be deem'd a lie.
M. Gr. Hard terms!

On this rejoinder then I reft my cause ;

Should all pay homage to Truth's facred laws,

Let

Let us examine what would be the cafe :
Why, many a great man would be out of place.

O. Wild. 'Twould many a virtuous character restore.
M. Gr. But take a character from many more.

0. Wild. Though on the side of bad the balance fall, Better to find few good, than fear for all.

M. Gr. Strong are your reafons; yet, cre I fubmit,
I mean to take the voices of the pit.
Is it your pleasures that we make a rule,
That ev'ry liar be proclaim'd a fool,
Fit fubjects for our author's ridicule?

The Theatre reprefents a rural feene, with the Cunning Man's 's houfe on the fide of a bill.

Phoebe, (weeping, and wiping her eyes with her apron.)

L

AIR.

OST is all my peace of mind,
Since my Colin proves unkind:
Alas! he's gone for ever.

Ah, fince he has learn'd to rove,
Fain would I forget my love :

Ah me! ah me! vain is

my endeavour.

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