SONNET. FROM THE SPANISH OF QUEVEDO. For the Table Book. "En el mundo naciste, no a emmendarle." If prudent, thon may'st know the world; if wise, The peril of thy soul in this world fear, But yet th' Almighty's wondrous work revere; WITH THE COOKS' NAMES. King George II. was accustomed every other year to visit his German dominions with the greater part of the officers of his household, and especially those belonging to the kitchen. Once on his passage at sea, his first cook was so ill with the seasickness, that he could not hold up his head to dress his majesty's dinner; this being told to the king, he was exceedingly sorry for it, as he was famous for making a Rhenish soup, which his majesty was very fond of; he therefore ordered inquiry to be made among the assistant-cooks, if any of them could make the above soup. One named Weston (father of Tom Weston, the player) undertook it, and so pleased the king, that he declared it was full as good as that made by the first cook. Soon after the king's return to England, the first cook died; when the king was informed of it, he said, that his steward of the household always appointed his cooks, but that he would now name one for himself, and therefore asking if one Weston was still in the kitchen, and being answered that he was, "That man," said he, "shall be my first cook, for he makes most excellent Rhenish soup." This favour begot envy among all the servants, so that, when any dish was found fault with, they used to say it was Weston's dressing: the king took notice of this, and said to the servants, it was very extraordinary, that every dish he disliked should happen to be Weston's; "in future," said he, "let every dish be marked with the name of the cook that makes it." By this means the king detected their arts, and from that time Weston's dishes pleased him most. The custom has continued ever since, and is still practised at the king's table. MONEY-WEIGHTS AND POUND, is derived from the Latin word pondus. OUNCE, from uncia, or twelfth, being the twelfth of a pound troy. INCH, from the same word, being the twelfth of a foot. YARD, from the Saxon word gyrd, or girth, being originally the circumference of the body, until Henry I. decreed that it should be the length of his arm. HALFPENNY and FARTHING. In 1060, when William the Conqueror began to reign, the PENNY, or sterling, was cast, with a deep cross, so that it might be broken in half, as a HALF-penny, or in quarters, for Fourthings, or Farthings, as we now call them. OLD MUG-HOUSES. The internal economy of a mug-house in the reign of George I. is thus described by a foreign traveller : At the mug-house club in Long-acre,where on Wednesdays a mixture of gentlemen, lawyers, and tradesmen meet in a great room, a grave old gentleman in his grey hairs, and nearly ninety years of age, is their president, and sits in an armed chair some steps higher than the rest. A harp plays all the while at the lower end of the room; and now and then some one of the company rises and entertains the rest with a song, (and by the by some are good masters.) Here is nothing drank but ale, and every gentleman chalks on the table as it is brought in every one also, as in a coffeehouse, retires when he pleases. N. B. In the time of the parliament's sitting, there are clubs composed of the members of the commons, where most affairs are digested before they are brought into the house. "AS DRUNK AS DAVID'S SOW." A few years ago, one David Lloyd, a Welchman, who kept an inn at Hereford, had a living sow with six legs, which occasioned great resort to the house. David also had a wife who was much addicted to drunkenness, and for which he used frequently to bestow on her an admonitory drubbing. One day, having taken an extra cup which operated in a powerful manner, and dreading the usual consequences, she opened the stye-door, let out David's sow, and lay down in its place, hoping that a short unmolested nap would sufficiently dispel the fumes of the liquor. In the mean time, however, a company arrived to view the so much talked of animal; and Davy, proud of his office, ushered them to the stye, exclaiming, "Did any of you ever see such a creature before?"" Indeed, Davy," said one of the farmers, "I never before saw a sow so drunk as thine in all my life!"Hence the term "as drunk as David's Sow." No freehold property-no copyhold property-no leasehold property. In fact, no property at all! I live by my wits, as one half of the world live, and am therefore NOT qualified. GASPARD. Suburban Sonnets. I. ISLINGTON. Thy fields, fair Islington! begin to bear Unwelcome buildings, and unseemly piles;` The streets are spreading, and the Lord knows where Improvement's hand will spare the neighb'ring stiles : The rural blandishments of Maiden Lane Are ev'ry day becoming less and less, Shall cease to charm the tailor and the snob; II. HAGBUSH LANE. Poor HAGBUSH LANE! thy ancient charms are going No "nut-brown ale," or luscious Stilton cheese— Where dusky gipsies in the summer dwell, And donkey drivers fight their dogs at ease, Shall feel ere long the lev'lling hand of taste, If that be taste which darkens ev'ry field; Thy garden too shall likewise be displac'd, And no more " cabbage" to its master yield; But, in its stead, some new Vauxhall perchance Shall rise, renown'd for pantomime and dance! Already, HIGHGATE! to thy skirts they bear Is growing pregnant with impurity !! "Is so much like the country," and instead Of living longer down in Crooked-lane, Resolves, at once, to “ruralize" again! Islington. J. G. On the west side of Hampstead, in the middle of one of the pleasant meadows called Shepherd's fields, at the left-hand of the footpath going from Belsize-house towards the church, this arch, embedded above and around by the green turf, forms a conduit-head to a beautiful spring: the specific gravity of the fluid, which yields several tuns a day, is little more than that of distilled water. Hampstead abounds in other springs, but they are mostly impregnated with mineral substances. The water of "Shepherd's well," therefore, is in continual request, and those who cannot otherwise conveniently obtain it, are supplied through a few of the villagers, who make a scanty living by carrying it to houses for a penny a pail-full. There is no carriage-way to VOL. I.-13. the spot, and these poor things have much hard work for a very little money. I first knew this spring in my childhood, when domiciled with a relation, who then occupied Belsize-house, by being allowed to go with Jeff the under-gardener, whose duty it was to fetch water from the spring. As I accompanied him, so a tame magpie accompanied me: Jeff slouched on with his pails and yoke, and my ardour to precede was restrained by fear of some ill happening to Mag if I did not look after the rogue. He was a wayward bird, the first to follow wherever I went, but always according to his own fashion; he never put forth his speed till he found himself a long way behind, so that Jeff always led the van, and Mag always brought up the rear, making up for long lagging by long hopping. On one occasion, however, as soon as we got out of the side-door from the out-house yard into Belsize-lane, Mag bounded across the road, and over the wicket along the meadows, with quick and long hops, throwing "side-long looks behind," as if deriding my inability to keep up with him, till he reached the well: there we both waited for Jeff, who for once was last, and, on whose arrival, the bird took his station on the crown of the arch, looking alternately down to the well and up at Jeff It was a sultry day in a season of drought, and, to Jeff's surprise, the water was not easily within reach; while he was making efforts with the bucket, Mag seemed deeply interested in the experiment, and flitted about with tiresome assiduity. In a moment Jeff rose in a rage, execrated poor Mag, and yowed cruel vengeance on him. On our way home the bird preceded, and Jeff, to my continual alarm in behalf of Mag, several times stopped, and threw stones at him with great violence. It was not till we were housed, that the man's anger was sufficiently appeased to let him acquaint me with its cause: and then I learned that Mag was a "wicked bird," who knew of the low water before he set out, and was delighted with the mischief. From that day, Jeff hated him, and tried to maim him: the creature's sagacity in eluding his brutal intent, he imputed to diabolical knowledge; and, while my estimation of Jeff as a good-natured fellow was considerably shaken, I acquired a secret fear of poor Mag. This was my first acquaintance with the superstitious and dangerous feelings of ignorance. The water of Shepherd's well is remarkable for not being subject to freeze. There is another spring sometimes resorted to near Kilburn, but this and the ponds in the Vale of Health are the ordinary sources of public supply to Hampstead. The chief inconvenience of habitations in this delightful village is the inadequate distribution of good water. Occasional visitants, for the sake of health, frequently sustain considerable injury by the insalubrity of private springs, and charge upon the fluid they breathe the mischiefs they derive from the fluid they drink. The localities of the place afford almost every variety of aspect and temperature that invalids require: and a constant sufficiency of wholesome water might be easily obtained by a few simple arrange ments. March 19, 1827. Garrick Plays. No. X. [From the "Fair Maid of the Exchange," a Comedy, by Thomas Heywood, 1637.] Cripple offers to fit Frank Golding with ready made Love Epistles. Frank. Of thy own writing? Frank. Faith, thou hast robb'd some sonnet-book or other, And now would'st make me think they are thy own. Crip. Why, think'st thou that I cannot write a Letter, Ditty, or Sonnet, with judicial phrase, In the whole town? Frank. I think thou can'st not. Crip. Yea, I'll swear I cannot. Frank. I prithee, how? Crip. Why, thus. There lived a Poet in this town, (If we may term our modern writers Poets), Sharp-witted, bitter-tongued; his pen, of steel; His ink was temper'd with the biting juice And extracts of the bitterest weeds that grew; He never wrote but when the elements Of fire and water tilted in his brain. This fellow, ready to give up his ghost To Lucia's bosom, did bequeath to me His Library, which was just nothing But rolls, and scrolls, and bundles of cast wit, Such as durst never visit Paul's Church Yard. Amongst 'em all I lighted on a quire Or two of paper, fill'd with Songs and Ditties, I could now, when I am in company, Crip. I could do more; for I could make enquiry, In the next room with a calve's head and brimstone, But O for shame that man should so arraign After this Specimen of the pleasanter vein of Heywood, I am tempted to extract some lines from his "Hierarchie of Angels, 1634" not strictly as a Dramatic Poem, but because the passage contains a string of names, all but that of Watson, his contemporary Dramatists. He is complaining in a mood half serious, half comic, of the disrespect which Poets in his own times meet with from the world, compared with the honors paid them by Antiquity. Then they could afford them three or four sonorous names, and at full length; as to Ovid, the addition of Publius Naso Sulmensis; to Seneca, that of Lucius Annæas Cordubensis; and the like. Now, says he, Our modern Poets to that pass are driven, Those names are curtail'd which they first had given; And, as we wish'd to have their memories drown'd, We scarcely can afford them half their sound. Greene, who had in both Academies ta'en Degree of Master, yet could never gain To be call'd more than Robin: who, had he Could ne'er attain beyond the name of Kit; Was call'd but Tom. Tom Watson; though he wrote Upon his Muse; for all that he could strive, The full title of this Play is "The Fair Maid of the Exchange, with the humours of the Cripple of Fenchurch." The above Satire against some Dramatic Plagiarists of the time, is put into the mouth of the Cripple, who is an excellent fellow, and the Hero of the Comedy. Of his humour this extract is a sufficient specimen; but he is described (albeit a tradesman, yet wealthy withal) with heroic qualities of mind and body; the latter of which he evinces by rescuing his Mistress (the Fair Maid) from three robbers by the main force of one crutch lustily applied; and the former by his foregoing the advantages which this action gained him in her good opinion, and bestowing his wit and finesse in procuring for her a husband, in the person of his friend Golding, more worthy of her beauty, than he could conceive his own maimed and halting limbs to be. It would require some boldness in a dramatist, now-a-days to exhibit such a Character: and some luck in finding a sufficient Actor, who would be willing to personate the infirmities, together with the virtues, of the Noble Cripple, And famous Jonson, though his learned pen And he's now but Jack Ford, that once were John. Possibly our Poet was a little sore, that this contemptuous curtailment of their Baptismal Names was chiefly exercised upon his Poetical Brethren of the Drama. We hear nothing about Sam Daniel, or Ned Spenser, in his catalogue. The familiarity of common discourse might probably take the greater liberties with the Dramatic Poets, as conceiving of them as more upon a level with the Stage Actors. Or did their greater publicity, and popularity in consequence, fasten these diminutives upon them out of a feeling of love and kindness; as we say Harry the Fifth, rather than Henry, when we would express good will? -as himself says, in those reviving words put into his mouth by Shakspeare, where he would comfort and confirm his doubting brothers: Not Amurath an Amurath succeeds, And doubtless Heywood had an indistinct conception of this truth, when (coming to his own name), with that beautiful retracting which is natural to one that, not Satirically given, has wandered a little out of his way into something recriminative, he goes on to say: Nor speak I this, that any here exprest Should think themselves less worthy than the rest, I hold he loves me best that calls me Tom. |