Lady. Oh! he was to call upon me; we go to the auction. Defire him to walk up-Mr Pentweazel, you must know, went this morning to meet Caleb, my youngest boy, at the Bull and Gate. The child has been two years and three quarters at school with Dr Jerk, near Doncaster, and comes to-day by the York waggon; for it has always been my maxum, Mr Carmine, to give my children learning enough; for, as the old faying is,

When boufe and land are gone and spent,

Then learning is most excellent.

Carm. Your Ladyship is quite right. Too much money cannot be employed in fo material an article.

Lady. Nay, the coft is but small; but poor ten pounds a year for head, back, books, bed, and belly; and they fay the children are all wonderful latiners, and come up, lacka-day, they come up as fat as pigs.- -Oh! here they are; odds me! he's a thumper. You fee, Mr Carmine, I breed no ftarvelings. Come hither, child. Mind your haviours. Where's your beft bow? Turn out your toes. One would think he had learnt to dance of his father. I'm fure my family were none fo aukward. There was my brother George, a perfect picture of a man; he danc'd, Lud! But come, all in good time- -Hold up thy head, Caleb.

Ald. Pr'ythee, fweet honey, let the child alone. His Mafter fays he comes on wonderful in his learning; and as to your bows and your congees, never fear, he'll learn them fast enough at home.

Lady. Lack-a-day! well faid-We now-If he does, I know who muft teach him. Well, child, and doft remember me? Hey? Who am I?

Caleb. Anon !

Lady. Doft know me?

Caleb. Yes; you be mother.

Lady. Nay, the boy had always a good memory. And what haft learnt, Caleb, hey?

Caleb. I be got into Æfop's Fables, and can say all As in præfenti by heart.

Lady. Upon my word-that's more than ever thy father

could.

Ald. Nay, nay, no time has been loft; I queftioned the lad as we came along; I ask'd him himself

Lady. Well, well, speak when you are spoken to, Mr

Alderman

Alderman. How often must I-Well, Caleb, and hadít a good deal of company in the waggon, boy?

Caleb. O law! Powers of company, Mother. There was Lord Gorman's fat cook, a blackamore drumming man, two actor people, a recruiting ferjeant, a monkey, and I. Lady. Upon my word, a pretty parcel.

Caleb. Yes, indeed; but the the fat cook got drunk at Coventry, and fo fell out at the tail of the waggon; fo we left the behind. The next day the ferjeant ran away with the fhowman's wife; the t'other two went after ; fo only the monkey and I came to town together.

Carm. Upon my word, the young gentleman gives a good account of his travels.

Lady. Ay, ay, Mr Carmine, he's all over the blood of the Grifkins. I warrant the child will make his way. Go, Caleb, go and look at them pretty paintings-Now, Mr Carmine, let us fee if my good man can find me out.

Ald. Lack-a-day; well, I profefs they are all fo handfome, that I am puzzled to know which is thine, chuck.

Puff. I am furprized at your want of difcernment, Mr Alderman; but the poffeffion of a jewel destroys its value with the wearer; now to me it seems impoffible to err; and though Mr Carmine is generally fuccefsful, in this inftance he is particularly happy. Where can you meet with that mixture of fire and foftnefs, but in the eyes of Lady Pentweazel?

Lady. Oh, Sir !

Puff. That clearness and delicacy of complexion, with that flow of ruddiness and health.

Lady. Sir! Sir! Sir!

Puff. That fall of fhoulders, turn of neck, fet on head, full cheft, taper waift, plump

Lady. Spare me, fweet Sir!You fee, Mr Pentweazel, other people can find out my charms, tho' you overlook them-Well, I profefs, Sir, you are a gentleman of great difcernment; and if bufinefs fhould bring you into the city; for alas! what pleasure can bring a man of your refined taste there?.

Puff. Oh! Ma'am !

Lady. I fay, Sir, if fuch an accident fhould happen, and Blowbladder-ftreet has any charms

Puff. Oh! Ma'am ! Ma'am ! Ma'am! Ma'am !

Lady.

Lady. It is not impoffible but we may receive you, tho

not equal to your merits

Puff. Ma'am !

Lady. Yet in fuch a manner as to fhew our fenfe of them. Sir, I'm your very obedient.

Puff. Your Ladyfhip's most

Lady. Not a ftep.

Puff. Ma'am !

Lady. Sir

Mr Alderman, your bow to the gentle

man. The very finest.

Puff. Ma'am.

Lady. Sir-Your most obedient.
Puff. Your devoted.

(Exeunt Ald. and Wife. Carm. Ha ha! Well faid, Puff. What a calamity haft thou drawn upon the Knight! Thou haft fo tickled the vanity of the harradan, that the poor help-mate will experience a double portion of her contempt.

Puff. Rot them.

Carm. Come, Puff, a matrimonial affiftant to a rich Alderman is no contemptible employment.

Puff. Ay, if it were a fine-cure.

Carm. No, that you must not expect; but unless I am greatly mistaken in the language of the eyes, her Ladyfhip's were addrefs'd to you with most perfuafive tenderness.

Puff. Well, of that hereafter- -But to our business. The auction is about beginning; and I have promised to meet Mr David Dufledorpe, Sir Pofitive Bubble, and Lord Dupe, to examine the pictures, and fix on those for which they are to bid-But fince we have fettled the German plan; fo Varnish or Brush must attend them.

Carm. Oh! by all means purfue that. You have no conception how dear the foreign accent is to your true vir tuofo; it announces tafte, knowledge, veracity, and in fhort, every thing-But can you enough disguise the turn of your face, and tone of your voice? a discovery of Mr Puff in Mynheer Groningen blafts us at once.

Puff. Never fear me. I wish you may have equal fuccefs in the part of Canto.

Carm. Pho! mine's a trifle. A man must have very flender abilities indeed, who can't for ten minutes imitate a language and deportment that he has been a witness to for ten years.

Puff. But you must get their tones, their tones; 'tis

eafy

eafy enough. Come, hand up here that there Corregio; an inimitable piece, gentlemen and ladies: The very best work of the best master, fubject agreeable, highly finished, and well preferved;-a feat for the ladies; hand it to Sir Pofitive; a going for fifty; fpeak, or its gone for fifty: Joy to your Ladyship. Come, the next; but remember, let your bob be bufhy, and your bow low.

Carm. Enough, enough; we are strangers to each other, you know.

Puff. Abfolute. Oh! but what pictures of yours are in the fale?

Carm. There's my Holy Family by Raphael; the marriage in Cana by Reuben Rouge; Tom Jackfon's Teniers; and for bufts, Taylor's head without a nofe from Her culaneum.

Puff. Are the antique feals come home?

Carm. No; but they will be finish'd by next week. Puff. You must take care of Novice's collection of medals he'll want them by the end of the month.

Carm. The coins of the first Emperors are now steeping in copperas; and I have an Otho, a Galba, Nero, and two Domitians reeking from the dunghill-The rest we can have from Doctor Mummy; a never failing chap, you know.

Puff. Adieu.

Carm. Yours, Sira troublesome fellow, this-confounded memory-ufeful, tho'-Rounds of beef and roafted pigs !-must get ride of him- -Ay, but when? Why when?-when I have gained my point. But how, how then?-Oh, then it does not fignify two pence.

ACT

ACT II.

Enter Puff, as Monfieur Baron de Groningen, Carmine as Canto, and Brush.

Canto. COME, buftle, buftle. Brush, you introduce Puff. Puff, how are you in your German?

Puff. I canno speak for Englandt, but I can mak underftand very mightily. Will that do?

Brufb. To a hair. Remember you are come hither to purchase pictures for the Elector of Bavaria. Carmine, you must clap Lord Dupe's coat of arms on that half length of Erafmus; I have fold it him, as his great grandfather's third brother, for fifty guineas.

Canto. It fhall be done-Be it my province to establish the Baron's reputation as a connoiffeur.-Brush has seen you abroad at the Court of the reigning Prince of Blantin. Puff. Yes; I was do business mightily for Prince Blantin. Brush. Your portraits go firft, Carmine. Novice, Sir Pofitive Bubble, Jack Squander, Lord Dupe, and Mordecai Lazarus, the Jew broker, have appointed me to examine with them the history pieces-Which are most likely to ftick?

Canto. Here's a lift.

Brush. Hufh, hide the Erafmus, I hear the company on the stairs. (Exit Carmine, and re-enters anon.

Enter Lord Dupe, Bubble, Squander, &c. Lord. Mr Brush, I am your devoted fervant. You have procured my ancestor.

Brush. It is in my poffeffion, my Lord; and I have the honour to affure your Lordship, that the family features are very difcernible; and allowing for the difference of drefs, there's a strong likeness between you and your predeceffor. Lord. Sir, you have oblig'd me. All these you have mark'd in the catalogue are originals?

Brufh. Undoubted. But, my Lord, you need not depend folely on my judgment; here's Mynheer Baron de Groningen, who is come hither to furvey, and purchase for the Elector of Bavaria; an indifputable connoiffeur; his bidding will be a direction for your Lordship. 'Tis a thousand pities VOL. I.

C

that