screws his instrument into tune. If any stranger happens to be present he is critically noted, and every one meditates the questions to be put, and remarks to be made, relating to him, after the service. Lovers' eyes are searching out each other, and exchanging glances. By and by, little Billy, in crossing the pew to whisper to his mother, treads upon Fowler's tail, whereat he raises his voice in a lamentable expostulation. Madame Betty's Cupid is scratching at the pew door for admittance and a child utters a shrill squall by way of demanding its mother's breast. At length all is hushed except the indistinct echo of the conversation at the door, where the talkers are waiting to hear the minister say, "Let us begin the worship of God by singing" such a psalm or hymn. The minister is waiting, at the same time, for them to come in. But when he and the whole congregation begin to be a little out of countenance, he breaks silence, the talkers pour in, and the service proceeds. Now, as I have passed the age of boyhood, when the spirits are always alive, and the fertile mind supplies amusement on all occasions, by wondering at what occupies the senses at the moment, or devising and executing trivial mischief, and as I do not find myself much interested in the news of the week, and can find opportunity in the intervals of the service to reconnoitre the assembly, this long prelude begins to be tedious to me. I do not believe our good minister will tire out the talkers, and I hope he will no longer keep the rest of the congregation in duress a quarter of an hour before every service, in making the experiment. I find the practice of a neighboring clergyman, who is not to be compared to ours in any other thing, contributes much more to the orderly and convenient conducting of public worship. He begins as soon as he conveniently can, after ascending the pulpit stairs, whether the day be rainy or fair; and all the congregation, knowing precisely when he will commence, are generally in their places in time. By putting this into your paper you will entitle yourself to the high consideration of your's, &c. JEDIDIAH PARISHIONER. DREAMS. [Delaware Gazette.] To explain the phenomena of dreaming, different theories have been adopted by different persons. The learned and pious Mr. Baxter, in his treatise on the immateriality of the human soul, advances the idea that dreams are the effect of the agency of spiritual beings on our souls during sleep. Wolfius supposed, that dreams are never originated in the mind, except when some one of the organs of sensation is excited by some external object. M. Formy is of the same opinion. Many physiologists say, that the mind, in dreaming, is thrown into a delirium; that sleep is attended with a collapse of the brain, during which time the nerves cannot carry on their usual intercourse between the soul and the organs of sensation. They say, "When the whole of the brain is in a state of collapsation, we sink into a deep sleep, entirely unconscious of an existencebut that, when a part only of the brain is collapsed, the phenomenon of dreaming is the result." Others have conjectured, that in sleep there is not a free circulation of the nervous fluid-that very frequently there is a deficiency of this fluid, and that even though this fluid may be excited in the external organs of sensation, yet it may, by some cause yet unknown, be prevented from entering the sensorium-and that all the phenomena of dreaming may be resolved into. some one of these causes, or into a union of all the three causes together, in different ratios not to be explained. I leave my reader to judge which of the above theories is the most correct. For my own part, I cannot say that I believe any of them. Neither do I feel my. self able to give the public one more satisfactory. Our dreams are much influenced by the state of the weather, the healthiness or debility of our bodies, our situation and calling in life, and the ardour with which we engage in any particular business. The divine frequently dreams of preaching, the lawyer of pleading for his client, the physician of attending his sick patient, the merchant of trading and casting up his accounts, and the lover never fails to feast his soul, in the visions of the night, on the charms of his beloved. But though our dreams are, in general, characteristic of the state of our minds while awake, yet there are some very wide deviations. Sometimes the mind, during sleep, is engaged in the sublime contemplation of. God, and the magnificence, beauty, and order, of His works. Sometimes the pious man dreams of putting off mortality, and joining with Cherubim and Seraphim, in all the sweetness of heavenly worship.. A RECEIPT FOR PRODUCING GOOD DREAMS. 1. A good conscience. 2. Good health. 3. A freedom from evil passions, such as envy, malice, and covetousness. 4. Out of debt. 5. A constant attention to business. I would advise the vulgar not to be frighted at their dreams, as though something dreadfully portentous was signified. A light supper will generally keep off the night mare, and prevent dreadful dreams. ANECDOTE. MANY years ago, in Cincinnati, a certain justice was called to gaol to liberate a worthless debtor, by taking his oath that he was not worth five pounds. "Well! Johnny," said the justice, as he entered, can you swear you are not worth five pounds, and never will be?" "Why," answered the other, rather chagrined at the question, "I can swear I am not worth that sum at present." "Well, well," replied the justice, "I can swear the rest; so step forward, Johnny." NATIONAL PREJUDICE.. Nor many years ago a gentleman, lately from Scotland, called on Mr. H. at his seat, near Wilmington, Delaware, for whom he had some letters. While walking in his, garden, abounding in excellent fruit, the latter observed, that, show him what he would, his guest in sisted he had seen muckle better in Scotland. Deter mined, however, to surprise him, he privately ordered his servant to tie some gourds on a pear tree, whilst they were at dinner. When the cloth was removed. "Now, sir," said Mr. H. "I think I can show you something you never saw in Scotland," and, taking him to the tree, he asked the astonished Scotchman what he thought of that. "In truth, sar," quoth he, "they are varra fine piers, indeed; but I think I have seen full as large in the Duke of Argyle's gardens, though I must. e'en confess that they had na quite sic lang nacks.” MR. PRINTER, UPS AND DOWNS. I AM a Dutchman of some little consequence; but being lame of one leg, have had many ups and downs in life. From my earliest remembrance, when my mother used to toss me up and down, to the present time, I have been going up or down continually; and never, till my arrival in this country, had any doubt of the meaning of those words. The ups and downs, which I suffered under the up and down star of Napoleon, made me heartily tired of my own country, and I came to this in a vessel, which kept throwing me up and down continually, while my food was no sooner down my throat, than it began to make preparation to come up again. When I first came ashore, the land went up and down, as had the vessel, so that I verily thought I had made a poor exchange of countries. My limping faculty was sadly disturbed, and ran hastily up one leg, and down the other, in search of its last and usual abode; while my legs themselves, like hens in an argument, kept hopping up and down in a very untimely manner, and, as if doubting which was which, seemed to be puzzling themselves about the doctrine of identity. I will not be positive that it was so, but it seemed so to me.. To return. All these ups and downs were perfectly intelligible, corresponding entirely with an early impression of mine, that แ up is up, and down is down,"-two fundamentals, which no astronomical notions have ever been able to disturb. But the ups and downs of the English language, of which I am now compelled to speak, have confused my venerable ideas; and which is up, and R which is down, I know no more than a toad in a sling. You eat your food up, and you swallow it down. You put up beef, and you put down butter. You follow game up, and you run game down. You dress a man up, and you dress a horse down. You are right down mad, and you are right up about it. You trip a man up, and you knock a man down. You cut corn up, and you cut corn down. You pay up, and you pay down. You are taken down with a fever, and you are laid up with a cold; and while you allow that a man is quite down, you still insist that he is fairly done up. er; I mean to be right up and down with you, Mr. Printand I tell you plainly, if you do not make a better language, you may talk it yourself; for I can talk high and low Dutch, a word for each alternately, and have less ups and downs in a whole volume, than in a single page of your zigzag lingo. THE MANUAL EXERCISE. [Daily Advertiser. Boston.] My lads! the first thing you have to do is to answer to your names; when you hear the word "attention," you must bring both the starboard and larboard heels to bear together, keeping your jib stays taut bowsed up, and square your shoulders by the lifts and braces, clapping both your fists against your bends, one and all the same moment, till the words "stand at ease," when the hollow of your starboard foot must be smartly backed astern of the heel of the larboard one-you must also clap an over hand knot upon your fist athwart your bread bag after coming to attention, at the word "shoulder arms," rouse Brown Bess by the middle, and bowse her up from the lower tier of the starboard side, to the larboard bow, keeping a good look out that she does not make a lee lurch, and capsize, otherwise you ▸ will be apt to knock out your shipmate's top lights. At the word "secure arms," the starboard arm, which is now fast to the starboard bends, must go athwart your bread bag, in order to receive Brown Bess by the breech, clapping your larboard fist to her midships-be sure to have her muzzle a-head, so that her breech will come : |