Зображення сторінки
PDF
ePub
[ocr errors]

No CVII. THURSDAY, FEBRUARY 12, 1756.

CEDUNT GRAMMATICI VINCUNTUR RHETORES.-

FULL IN THE MIDST OF EUCLID DIP AT ONCE,
AND PETRIFY A GENIUS TO A DUNCE.

TO MR. TOWN.

COLLEGE, CAMBRIDGE, JAN. 30, 1756.

Have just now, with near an hundred more, taken the first degree which this Univerfity confers on her fons; and begin to confider within myfeif, in what manner we have spent our time for these four years paft, and what profit we are likely to receive hereafter from our academical ftudies. But upon retrospection I find that, infead of having laid up a store of learning which might have been of fervice to us in our future connections and intercourse with mankind, we have been confounding our heads with a mifcellaneous heap of nonfenfe, which most of us, I am certain, are endeavouring to unlearn as faft as we poffibly can: inftead of having acquired fuch a thare of common fenfe, as might have been of fervice to ourselves and acquaintance, we mult entirely fell off our old flock, and begin the world of literature anew. This reflection cannot be very pleafant to thote, who, I muft fay, have fquandered away fo very precious a time of life; a time of life, when, though judgment perhaps is not come to maturity, yet imagination and invention, thofe noble offsprings of a promifing mind, are in the very flower and bloom of perfection.

This feat of learning, for it undoubtedly deferves that name, has drawn and kept us together for fome years: our manners, converfation, and ftudies, bear a great fimilitude; but now either chance or choice is going to difperfe us over the whole kingdom; and our places of abode will fearce be more widely different than our schemes of life. Notwithstanding this, the fame plan of ftudy has been impofed on all whether agreeable or contrary to the bent of inclination, has never been regarded. Mathematics is the ftandard to which all merit is referx; and all other excellences, without

Juv.

Porr.

thefe, are quite overlooked and negle&ed: the folid learning of Greece and Rome is a trifling acquifition; and much more fo, every polite accomplishment: in fhort, if you will not get all Euclid and his diagrams by heart, and pore over Saunderfon till you are as blind as he was himself, they will fay of you, as in the motto to one of your late papers

Aum eft ilicet! perifi!-Tis all over with you! you are ruined! undone!' Not that I would depreciate this kind of learning; it is certainly a mofl noble science, and reflects the greateft honour on human wit and invention; all that I complain of, is the unreafonable ftrefs that is laid upon it; nay, even the most abftrufe parts of it; which is fill more abfurd, as there are fo very few heads able to perceive and retain the nice chain of reafoning and deduction, which muft neceffarily be made use of and as a fmall number of mathematical geniufes would be fufficient for the fervice of his Majefty's dominions.

I take it for granted, that your fagacity has by this time difcovered; that you have been addrefied by a young man, whofe too over-weening conceit of himself has perhaps induced him to imagine, that the Univerfity has not fuffi ciently rewarded his deferts: if fo, you are not deceived. But though this difappointment may at prefent fit a little uneafy upon me, yet I think I can forefee, that it will be the most fortunate mortification that could poffibly have befallen me. For, in the firft place, it has fufficiently abated that upstart pride, which moft young men are apt to take in their own abilities; than which nothing can be more irksome to all their acquaintance, or a greater impediment to their own real improvement. A pert fcholar, whenever he enters a room of company, immediately affumes a fuperiority in difcourfe, and thinks himself obliged to correct all improprieties in thought or expreffion. You muft fpeak by the card, as Hamlet fays, or ex

pec

pect the cenfure of this fuperficial coxcomb. If, according to the common form of fpeech, you fay, that there is either heat in fire, or coldness in ice, he will inform you, that you deliver your felf very inaccurately, as Mr. Locke has fully demonftrated; he will tell you, you cannot prove, that two and two make four, or that you are alive your felf. These, and a thousand other obfervations equally impertinent, he is continually making, to the no fmall uneafinefs and perplexity of the ladies and honest country gentlemen.

What is ftill a greater misfortune, is, that a man of this caft is never likely to know any better: for, having raked together a few metaphysical distinctions and fcholaftic refinements, he thinks he has laid up a fufficient fund of knowledge for his whole life; he defpifes all common fenfe (which is the belt fenfe) through an ambition of appearing particular: and as for the advice or opinion of others, thofe he thinks himself indifpenfably bound to difregard; inafinuch as fuch fubmiffion implies fome inferiority, which he would by no means be thought to labour under. Such a difpofition as this I take to be the fure and infallible token of confirmed ignorance: a melancholy inftance of the depravity of human nature, that the lefs we know, the more we prefume; and the fewer advances we have made towards true

knowledge, the lefs occafion we think we have of any further improvement.

In the fecond place, if I may be allowed to judge of what I cannot poffibly have experienced, I take it to be of the greatest benefit to a young perfon to meet with early difappointments in life: for fooner or later every one must have his fhare of them; and the fooner we meet with fome of them the better. By this means the mind is easily made familiar with croffes and vexations, and is not thrown off it's balance by every thwarting and wayward accident; by this means we fubmit to ills and troubles, as the neceffary attendants on mankind; as on a rainy day we make ourselves quiet and contented, but hope for funfine on the morrow. And, indeed, there feems to be a strong analogy be. tween the inclemency of the weather attacking our bodies, and the ftorm of afdictions which batter our minds. The rain will beat, and the wind will roar, let us ufe our utmost endeavours to the

contrary; but by inuring our perfons to the viciffitudes of the feafons, and ufing other proper methods, we fhall feel no very fenfible inconvenience from them. In like manner, all our skill and art cannot prevent or elude the rubs and difalters to which we are liable: but if by degrees, and early in life, we are hardened and accustomed to them, and if by the help of reafon and found philofophy, we arm and fortify ourselves against them, they may fill perhaps reach us, but their fhocks will be quite weak and languid; and we may fay of the darts of Fortune, as Virgil fays of Priam, when he hurled a javelin at Pyrrhus

[blocks in formation]

I Am fo great an admirer of the fair

fex, that I never let a tittle of their vendible writings efcape me. I bought this year the Lady's Diary, merely be caufe it was advertifed as the Woman's Almanack, which I construed, the Almanack compofed by a Woman; but I find I have been mistaken in my fuppofition. It is not the work of a female. The Chriftian name of the author, I have reafon to believe, is Marmaduke; unless I mifunderstood a moft curious copy of verfes, defcribing a molt fuperb entertainment of fish, flesh, pies, and tarts, exhibited upon New Year's Day 1755. His Sirname remains as great an ænigma as any in his book. His coadjutors, contributors, or affiftants, are Meffrs. Walter Trott, Timothy Nabb, Patrick Ocavannah, John Honey, Henry Season, and others. I honour thefe gentlemen, and their works: but I own my chief delight is reading over the Riddles and Unriddles, the Queftions and the Anfwers of Mifs Sally Weft,

2 H

Cælia,

.

Celia, Mifs Nancy Evelyn, Mifs E. S. Mifs Atkinfon, Enira, and other choice Ittle feminine fpirits of the age. Riddies are fo becoming, and appear fo pretty, when dandled about by ladies, that they may be compared to foft, finooth, painted, waxen babies, dreffed up in a proper manner for Miffes to play with, from eighteen to fourfcore. But above all, I must take this opportunity of congratulating dear Mifs Fanny Harris, who, I find, has given an elegant Solution to a Prize Problem, by a Fluxionary Calculus founded on the Properties of Tangents,' and by that means has run away with no less than twelve Diaries for this important year 1756. As this young lady is jutly called the honour of her fex,' and deals entirely in the Properties of Tan. gents, I fear the will never defcend fo low as Riddleme Riddlemeree; and therefore I must humbly offer, by the vehicle of your paper, Mr. Town, a fmall

[ocr errors]

Riddle, invented with much pains and thought by myself, to the folution of thole three ingenious Spinfters, Mifs Polly Walker, Mifs Grace Tetlow, and Mifs Ann Rickaby, to appear in the Lady's Diary of 1757, and to receive upon appearance, as a premium, one compleat fet of the Connoiffeur in Pocket Volumes, to be the property of one or more of thefe three ladies who fhall explain my Ænigma.

Fire and Water mix'd together,

Add to this fome Salt and Tin;
Teli me, Ladies, tell me whether
In this Mixture there is Sin?

The Solution itself, if not truly explained by the Three Graces, to whom I now addrefs it, fhall appear, by your permiffion, in the first Connoiffeur after next New Year's Day.

I am, Sir, your humble servant,
MICHAEL KRAWBIDGE,

No CVIH. THURSDAY, FEBRUARY 19, 1756.

A

TER CENTUM TONAT ORE DEOS, EREBUMQUE, CHAOSQUE,
TERGEMINAMQUE HECATEN, TRIA VIRGINIS ORA DIANE.

VIRG.

DIRE EXECRATIONS SPLIT YOUR EARS ASUNDER,
DEATH! AND DAMNATION! FURIES! BLOOD! AND THUNDER!

$ there are fome vices which the vulgar have prefumed to copy from the greats fo there are others which the great have condefcended to borrow from the vulgar. Among thefe I cannot but fet down the fhocking practice of Curfing and Swearing: a practice, which (to fay nothing at prefent of it's impiety and profanenefs) is low and indelicate, and places the man of quality on the fame level with the chairman at his door. A gentleman would forfeit all pretenfions to that title, who fhould chufe to embellifh his difcourfe with the oratory of Billingfgate, and converfe in the ftyle of an oyiter-woman: but it is accounted no difgrade to him, to ufe the fame conrie expreffions of Curfing and Swearing with the meanest of the mob. For my own part, I cannot fee the difference between a By Gad,' or a Gad dem-me,' minced and foftened by a genteel pronunciation from well b.ed lips, and the fame expreflion

bluntly bolted out from the broad mouth of a porter or hackney coachman.

I thall purpofely wave making any reflections on the impiety of this practice, as I am fatisfied they would have but little weight either with the beau munde or the canaille. The Swearer of either station devotes himself piece-meal, as it were, to deftruction; pours out anathemas against his eyes, his heart, his foul, and every part of his body; nor does he fcruple to extend the fame gool withes to the limbs and joints of his friends and acquaintance. This they both do with the fame fearless unconcern; but with this only difference, that the Gentleman-fwearer damns himfelf and others with the greatest civility and good-breeding imaginable.

My predeceffor, the Tatler, gives us an account of a certain humourift, who got together a party of noted Swearers o dinner with him, and ordered their difcourfe to be taken down in fhort

hand;

hand; which being afterwards repeated to them, they were extremely ftartled and furprized at their own common talk. A dialogue of this nature would be no improper fupplement to Swift's Polite Converfation, though, indeed, it would appear too fhocking to be fet down in print. But I cannot help wifhing, that it were poffible to draw out a catalogue of the fashionable Oaths and Curfes in prefent ufe at Arthur's, or any other polite affembly: by which means the company themselves would be led to imagine, that their converfation had been carried on between the loweft of the mob; and they would blush to find, that they had gleaned their choiceft phrafes from lanes and alleys, and enriched their difcourfe with the elegant dialect of Wapping and Broad St. Giles's.

The legislature has, indeed, provided against this offence, by affixing a penalty on every delinquent, according to his ftation: but this law, like thofe made against gaming, is of no effect; while the genteeler fort of Swearers pour forth the fame execrations at the Hazard table or in the Tennis-court, which the more ordinary gameters repeat, with the fame impunity, over the Shuffle-board or in the Skittle-alley. Indeed, were this law to be rigorously put in execution, there would appear to be little or no proportion in the punishment: fince the gentleman would efcape by depotiting his crown; while the poor wretch, who cannot raife a fhilling, must be clapped in the Stocks, or fent to Bridewell. But as the offence is exactly the fame, I would alfo have no diftinction made in the treatment of the offenders: and it would be a moft ridiculous, but a due mortification to a man of quality, to be obliged to thrust his leg through the fame Stocks with a carman or a coalheaver; fince the first degraded himself, and qualified himself for their company, by talking in the fame mean dialect,

I am aware, that it will be pleaded in excufe for this pra&tife, that Oaths and Curfes are intended only as mere expletives, which ferve to round a period, and give a grace and fpirit to converfation. But there are ftill fome old

fashioned creatures, who adhere to their common acceptation, and cannot help thinking it a very ferious matter, that a man fhould devote his body to the Devil, or call down damnation on his fou!. Nay, the Swearer himfelf, like the Old Man in the fable, calling upon Death, would be exceeding loth to be taken at his word; and, while he wishes deftruction to every part of his body, would be highly concerned to have a limb rot away, his nofe fall off, or an eye drop out of the focket. It would, therefore, be advifeable to fubftitute fome other terms equally unmeaning, and at the fame time remote from the vulgar Curfing and Swearing.

It is recorded to the honour of the famous Dean Stanhope, that in his younger days, when he was chaplain to a regiment, he reclaimed the officers, who were much addicted to this vulgar practice, by the following method of reproof. One evening, as they were all in company together, after they had been very eloquent in this kind of rhetoric fo natural to the gentlemen of the army, the worthy Dean took occafion to tell a story in his turn; in which he frequently repeated the words bottle and glass, inftead of the ufual expletives of God. Devil, and Damn, which he did not think quite fo becoining for one of bis cloth to make free with. I would recommend it to our people of fathion to make ufe of the like innocent phiales, whenever they are obliged to have re courfe to thefe fubftitutes for thought and expreffion. Bottle and glass might be introduced with great energy in the table-talk at the King's Arms or St. Alban's taverns. The gamefter might be indulged, without offence, in fwearing by the Knave of Clubs, or the Curse of Scotland; or he might, with fome propriety, retain the old execration of The Deuce take it. The beau should be allowed to fwear by his gracious

[ocr errors]

felf, which is the god of his idolatry:* and the common expletives fhould confift only of upon my word,' and 'upon

[ocr errors]

my honour; which terms, whatever fenfe they might formerly bear, are at prefent understood only as words of courfe without meaning.

[blocks in formation]

N° CIX. THURSDAY, FEBRUARY 26, 1756.

INTERDUM VULGUS RECTUM VIDET; EST, UBI PECCAT.

WHAT EVERY BODY SAYS, IS OFTEN TRUE;
BUT VERY OFTEN 'TIS A FALSEHOOD TOO.

HE world is indebted to that inTHE genious inquirer after truth, the famous Sir Thomas Brown, for an excellent treatife, in which he has refuted feveral idle and ridiculous opinions that prevailed in his time; to which work he has very properly given the title of Vulgar Errors. Among others, of no Jefs importance, he has taken great pains to explode the common notion, that a witch can make a voyage to the Eaft Indies in an egg-fhell, or take a journey of two or three hundred miles across the country on a broom ftick: an affertion, maintained by that wife monarch, King James the First, who even condefcended to commence author in fupport of it. He has alfo refuted the generally re,' ceived opinion, that the Devil is black, has horns upon his head, wears a long curling tail, and a cloven (tump; nay, has even denied, that wherefoever he goes, he always leaves a fmell of brimftone behind him; and has no lefs feri. pully endeavoured to fhew the abfurdity of the fuppofition, that Adam and Eve were born into the world without navels. But all thefe miftaken notions, though they might poffibly obtain belief in for mer times of fuperftition and ignorance, could never have been countenanced in this more enlightened age. So far from acknowledging the power of witchcraft, we even doubt the existence of the Witch of Endor: that illuftrious perfonage the Devil is only looked upon as a mere bugbear; and the lowest mechanics have been taught at the Robin Hood Society, that the whole account of our first parents is nothing but a fiction and an old woman's ftory.

Since the days of Sir Thomas Brown fuch ftrange revolutions have happened among us, in the arts and fciences, in religion, in politics, and in common life, that I cannot but think a work, intended as a fupplement to the above mentioned treatife of Vulgar Errors, would be highly acceptable to the pub. lic; fince it is notorious, that many te

[ocr errors]

HOR

nets, which were then thought indifput. able truths among all ranks of people, are now proved to be erroneous, and are only credited by the uninformed vul. gar. A work of this nature it is my intention fhortly to publifh: in the mean time, I fhall content myself with laying the following specimen of the perform. ance before my readers.

The ignorance of the multitude has hitherto pronounced it to be abfolutely impoffible that a Maid can be with

child. But it is well known to the learned, that in these later times there have been many inftances of maiden, mothers: though, whether they are im pregnated by the weft-wind, like Vir gil's mares, or, as it was faid of Juno, by eating a fallad; whether they bring forth, as Dutch ladies do, Sooterkins; whether they conceive by intuition, or the operation of the fancy; or by what other caufe, has not been ascertained, Several inftances have been recorded, among the Roman Catholicks, of Nuns and Lady-abbeles, who have miracu♣ loufly proved with child and here in England we have more than once heard of the pregnancy of a Maid of Honour. I myself know a lady, almost approaching to the verge of an old maid, who was very much bloated and puffed up with the wind-cholic; for relief of which he went into the country for a month, and was unexpectedly feized with the pangs of child-birth, I have been told of another, a virgin of the most unspots ted character, who very unaccountably fell into labour, just as they were going to tap her for the dropfy. An eminent man-midwife of my acquaintance was in the beginning of his practice called to a virgin, who, to his great furprize brought forth an embryo, in form and appearance exactly refembling a man drake. This he confidered as a moft wonderful Lufus Nature; and had ac tually drawn up an account of it (with a figure of the monster) to be laid bes fore the Royal Society but in lefs than na twelves

« НазадПродовжити »