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SOUR. Unless you put up that d-d fiddle, I'll beat it

about your ears.

DAN. MAST. Zounds, Sir! if you are thereabouts, you shall dance presently-I say presently.

SOUR. Shall I dance, villain?

DAN. MAST. Yes. By the heavens above shall you dance. I have orders from Clarissa to make you dance. She has paid me, and dance you shall; first, let him go out. [He draws his sword, and puts it under his arm. SOUR. Ah! I'm dead. What a madman has this woman sent me !

JENNY. I see I must interpose. Stay you there, Sir; let me speak to him; Sir, pray do us the favour to go and tell the lady, that it's disagreeable to my master.

DAN. MAST. I will have him dance.

SOUR. The rascal! the rascal!

JENNY. Consider, if you please, my master is a grave

man.

DAN MAST. I'll have him dance.

JENNY. You may stand in need of him.

SOUR. (Taking her aside.) Yes, tell him that when he will, without costing him a farthing, I'll bleed and purge him his bellyfull.

DAN MAST. I have nothing to do with that; I'll have him dance, or have his blood.

SOUR. The rascal! (muttering.)

JENNY. Sir, I can't work upon him; the madınan will not hear reason; some harm will happen-we are alone SOUR. 'Tis very true.

JENNY. Look on him; he has an ill look.

SOUR. He has so (trembling).

DAN. MAST. Make haste, I say, make haste.
SOUR. Help! neighbours! murder !

JENNY. Aye, you may cry for help; do you know that all your neighbours would be glad to see you robbed and your throat cut? Believe me, Sir, two Allemande steps

may save your life.

SOUR. But if it should come to be known, I should be taken for a fool.

JENNY. Love excuses all follies; and I have heard say that when Hercules was in love, he spun for Queen Omphale.

SOUR. Yes, Hercules spun, but Hercules did not dance the Allemande.

JENNY. Well, you must tell him so; the gentleman will teach you another.

Dan. Mast. Will you have a minuet, Sir?

[blocks in formation]

DAN. MAST. What then? the trocanny, the tricotez, the rigadon? Come, choose, choose.

SOUR. No, no, no, I like none of these.

DAN. MAST. You would have a grave, serious dance perhaps?

SOUR. Yes, a serious one, if there be any-but a very erious dance.

DAN. MAST. Well, the courante, the hornpipe, the brocane, the saraband?

SOUR. No, no, no!

DAN MAST. What the devil then will you have? But make haste or death!

SOUR. Come on then, since it must be so; I'll learn a few steps of the-the

DAN MAST. What of the-the

SOUR. I know not what.

DAN. MAST. You mock me, sir; you shall dance the Allemande, since Clarissa will have it so, or—

[He leads him about, the fiddle playing the Allemande. SOUR. I shall be laughed at by the whole town if it should be known. I am determined, for this frolic, to deprive Clarissa of that invaluable blessing, the possession of my

person.

DAN. MAST. Come, come, sir, move, move. (teaching him.)

SOUR. Cockatrice!

DAN. MAST. One, two, three! (teaching.)

SOUR. A d-d, infernal

Enter WENTWORTH.

Oh! brother, you are come in good time to free me from this cursed bondage.

WENT. HOW! for shame brother, at your age to be thus foolish.

SOUR. As I hope for mercy

WENT. For shame, for shame—practising at sixty what should have been finished at six.

DAN. MAST. He's not the only grown gentleman I have had in hand.

WENT. Brother, brother, you'll be the mockery of the whole city.

SOUR. Eternal babbler! hear me; this curs'd confounded villain will make me dance perforce.

WENT. Perforce !

SOUR. Yes; by order, he says, of Clarissa; but since I now find she is unworthy, I give her up-renounce her for

ever.

[The young couple enter immediately after this declaration, and finding no farther obstruction to their union, the piece finishes with the consent of the Grumbler," in the hope," as he says, "that they are possessed of mutual requisites to be the plague of each other."]

CRITICISM,

RELATING TO

POETRY AND THE BELLES-LETTRES.

[Now first collected. See LIFE, ch. vi. and viii.]

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