the Representation of those Qualities that fhould do him Honour. So pernicious a thing is Wit, when it is not tempered with Virtue and Humanity. I have indeed heard of heedlefs inconfiderate Writers, that without any Malice have facrificed the Reputation of their Friends and Acquaintance, to a certain Levity of Temper, and a filly Ambition, of diftinguishing themfelves by a Spirit of Raillery and Satyr: As if it were not infinitely more honourable to be a good-natured Man, thana Wit. Where there is this little petulant Humour in an Author, he is often very mischievous without defigning to be fo. For which Reafon I always lay it down as a Rule, that an indifcreet Man is more hurtful than an ill-natured one; for as the latter will only attack his Enemies, and thofe he wishes ill to; the other injures indifferently both Friends and Foes. I can not forbear, on this Occafion, tranfcribing a Fable out of Sir Roger l'Eftrange, which accidentally lies before me. A Company of waggish Boys were watching of Frogs at the fide of a Pond, and ftill as any of 'em put up their Heads, they'd be pelting them down again with Stones. • Children (fays one of the Frogs) you never confider that tho' this may be Play to you, 'tis Death to us. AS this Week is in a manner fet apart and dedicated to serious Thoughts, I fhall indulge my felf in fuch Speculations as may not be altogether unfuitable to the Seafon; and in the mean time, as the fettling in our selves a Charitable Frame of Mind is a Work very proper for the Time, I have in this Paper endeavoured to expose that particular Breach of Charity which has been generally over-looked by Divines, Because they are but few who can be guilty of it. C Wednesday, N° 24. Wednesday, March 28. Accurrit quidam notus mihi nomine tantum; Hor HERE are in this Town a great Number of in Tignificant People, who are by no means fit for the better fort of Converfation, and yet have an impertinent Ambition of appearing with thofe to whom they are not welcome. If you walk in the Park, one of them will certainly join with you, tho' you are in Company with Ladies; if you drink a Bottle, they will find your Haunts. What makes fuch Fellows the more burdenfome, is, that they neither offend or please fo far as to be taken Notice of for either. It is, I prefume, for this Reafon, that my Correfpondents are willing by my Means to be rid of them. The two following Letters are writ by Perfons who fuffer by fuch Impertinence. A worthy old Batchelor, who fets in for his Dofe of Claret every Night at fuch an Hour, is teized by a Swarm of them; who because they are fure of Room and good Fire, have taken it in their Heads to keep a fort of Club in his Company; tho' the fober Gentleman himself is an utter Enemy to fuch Meetings. Mr. SPECTATOR, HE Averfion I for fome Years have had to Clubs Tin general, gave me a perfect Relish for your Speculation on that Subject; but I have fince been extremely mortified, by the malicious World's ranking me amongst the Supporters of fuch impertinent Affemblies. I beg leave to ftate my Cafe fairly; and that done, I fhall expect Redress from your judicious Pen. I am, Sir, a Batchelor of some standing, and a Traveller, my Business, to confult my own Humour, which I gratifie without controuling other People's; I have a Room and a whole Bed to my felf; and I have a Dog, a Fiddle, and a Gun; they pleafe me, and injure no Creature alive. My chief Meal is a Supper, which I always make at a Tavern. I am conftant to an Hour, and not ill-humour'd; for which Reasons, tho' I invite 'no Body, I have no fooner fupp'd, than I have a Crowd about me of that fort of good Company that know not 'whither elfe to go. It is true every Man pays his 'Share, yet as they are Intruders, I have an undoubted Right to be the only Speaker, or at least the loudeft; which I maintain, and that to the great Emolu. 'ment of my Audience. I fometimes tell them their own in pretty free Language; and fometimes divert them with merry Tales, according as I am in Humour. 'I am one of thofe who live in Taverns to a great Age, by a fort of regular Intemperance; I never go to Bed drunk, but always flufter'd; I wear away very gently; am apt to be peevish, but never angry. Mr. SPECTATOR, If you have kept various Company, you 'know there is in every Tavern in Town fome old 'Humourist or other, who is Mafter of the House as 'much as he that keeps it. The Drawers are all in Awe ' of him; and all the Cuftomers who frequent his Company, yield him a fort of comical Obedience. I do not know but I may be fuch a Fellow as this my felf. But I appeal to you, whether this is to be called a Club, because fo many Impertinents will break in upon me, ⚫ and come without Appointment? Clinch of Barnet has a nightly Meeting, and fhows to every one that will come in and pay; but then he is the only Actor. Why fhould People mifcall things? If his is allow'd to be a Confort, why mayn't mine be a Lecture? < However, Sir, I fubmit to you, and am, Good Sir, SIR, Your most obedient, &c. Tho. Kimbow 'You OU and I were prefs'd against each other laft Winter in a Crowd, in which uneafie Pofture we fuffer'd together for almost half an Hour. I thank you for all your Civilities ever fince, in being of my VOL. I Acquain But the o Acquaintance where-ever you meet me. ther Day you pull'd off your Hat to me in the Park, when I was walking with my Miftrefs. She did not like your Air, and faid fhe wondered what ftrange Fellows I was acquainted with. Dear Sir, consider it is as much as my Life is worth, if she should think we < were intimate; therefore I earnestly intreat you for the future to take no manner of Notice of, SIR, Your obliged humble Servant, Will. Fashion, It A like Impertinence is alfo very troublesome to the fuperiour and more intelligent Part of the fair Sex. is, it feems, a great Inconvenience, that thofe of the meaneft Capacities will pretend to make Vifits, tho' indeed they are qualified rather to add to the Furniture of the Houfe (by filling an empty Chair) than to the Α Conversation they come into when they vifit. Friend of mine hopes for Redress in this Cafe, by the Publication of her Letter in my Paper; which the thinks thofe fhe would be rid of wil take to themfelves. It seems to be written with an Eye to one of thofe pert giddy unthinking Girls, who upon the Recommendation only of an agreeable Perfon, and a fashionable Air, take themselves to be upon a Level with Women of the greatest Merit. MADAM, 'I Take this Way to acquaint you with what com mon Rules and Forms would never permit me to tell you otherwise; to wit, that you and I, tho' Equals in Quality and Fortune, are by no means fuitable Companions. You are, 'tis true, very pret ty, can dance, and make a very good Figure in a publick Affembly; but alas, Madam, you go no further, Distance and Silence are your beft Recommendations; therefore let me beg of you never to make me any more Vifits. You come in a literal Senfe to fee one, for you have nothing to fay, I muft • do your do not fay this, that I would by any Means lofe Acquaintance; but I would keep it up with the strictest Forms of good Breeding. Let us pay Vifits, but ne ver fee one another: If you will be fo good as to deny your felf always to me, I fhall return the Obligation by giving the fame Orders to my Servants When Accident makes us meet at a third Place, we may mutually lament the Misfortune of never finding one another at home, go in the fame Party to a Be'nefit-Play, and fmile at each other, and put down Glaffes as we pafs in our Coaches. Thus we may enjoy as much of each other's Friendship as we are capable For there are fome People who are to be known only by Sight, with which fort of Friendship I hope you will always honour, P.S. MADAM, Your most obedient humble Servant, Mary Tuesday! I fubfcribe my felf by the Name of the Day I keep, that my fupernumerary Friends may know { who I am. ADVERTISEMENT. To prevent all Miftakes that may happen among Gentlemen of the other end of the Town, who come but once a Week to St. James's Coffee-houfe, either by mifcalling the Servants, or requiring such things from them as are not properly within their respective Provinces; this is to give Notice, that Kidney, Keeper of the Book-Debts of the outlying Customers, and Obferver of those who go off without paying, having refign'd that Employment, is fucceeded by John Sowton; to whofe Place of Enterer of Meffages and firft Coffee-Grinder William Bird is promo ted; and Samuel Burdock comes as Shoe-Cleaner in the Room of the faid Bird. R |