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N° 21.

I

Saturday, March 24.

Locus eft pluribus Umbris.

Hor.

Am fometimes very much troubled, when I reflect upon the three great Profeffions of Divinity, Law, and Phyfick; how they are each of them overburdened with Practitioners, and filled with multitudes of Ingenious Gentlemen that ftarve one another.

W E may divide the Clergy into Generals, Field-Offcers, and Subalterns. Among the first we may reckon Bifhops, Deans and Arch-Deacons. Among the second are Doctors of Divinity, Prebendaries, and all that wear Scarfs. The reft are comprehended under the Subalterns. As for the first Class, our Conftitution preferves it from any redundancy of Incumbents, notwithstanding Competitors are numberlefs. Upon a ftrict Calculation, it is found that there has been a great Exceeding of late Years in the fecond Divifion, feveral Brevets having been granted for the converting of Subalterns into Scarf-Officers; infomuch that within my Memory the price of Luteftring is raised above two Pence in a Yard. As for the Subalterns, they are not to be numbred. Should our Clergy once enter into the corrupt Practice of the Laity, by the fplitting of their Freeholds, they would be able to carry most of the Elections in England.

THE Body of the Law is no lefs encumbered with fuperfluous Members, that are like Virgil's Army, which he tells us was fo crouded, many of them had not Room to use their Weapons. This prodigious Society of Men may be divided into the Litigious and Peaceable. Under the first are comprehended all those who are carried down in Coach-fulls to Westminster-Hall, every Morning in Term-time. Martial's Description of this Species of Lawyers is full of Humour :

Iras verba locant.

Men that hire out their Words and Anger; that are more

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or lefs paffionate according as they are paid for it, and allow their Client a quantity of Wrath proportionable to the Fee which they receive from him. I must however obferve to the Reader, that above three Parts of those whom I reckon among the Litigious, as fuch as are only quarrelfome in their Hearts, and have no Opportunity of fhewing their Paffion at the Bar. Nevertheless, as they do not know what Strifes may arife, they appear at the Hall every Day, that they may fhew themselves in a Readiness to enter the Lifts, whenever there fhall be Occafion for them.

THE Peaceable Lawyers are, in the firft place, many of the Benchers of the several Inns of Court, who seem to be the Dignitaries of the Law, and are endowed with thofe Qualifications of Mind that accomplish a Man rather for a Ruler than a Pleader. These Men live peaceably in their Habitations, Eating once a Day, and Dancing once a Year, for the Honour of their respective So

cieties.

ANOTHER numberlefs Branch of Peaceable Lawyers, are thofe young Men, who being placed at the Inns of Court in order to ftudy the Laws of their Country, frequent the Play-house more than Westminster-Hall, and are feen in all publick Affemblies, except in a Court of Juftice. I fhall fay nothing of thofe Silent and Bufie Multitudes that are employed within Doors, in the drawing up of Writings and Conveyances; nor of thofe greater Numbers that palliate their want of Business with a Pretence to fuch Chamber-practice.

IF, in the third place, we look into the Profeffion of Phyfick, we shall find a moft formidable Body of Men: The Sight of them is enough to make a Man ferious, for we might lay it down as a Maxim, that when a Nation abounds in Phyficians it grows thin of People. Sir William Temple is very much puzzled to find out a Reason why the Northern Hive, as he calls it, does not send out such prodigious Swarms, and over-run the World with Goths and Vandals, as it did formerly; but had that Excellent Author obferved that there were no Students in Phyfick among the Subjects of Thor and Woden, and that this Scicence very much flourishes in the North at prefent, he might have found a better Solution for this Difficulty than

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any of those he has made ufe of. This Body of Men, in our own Country, may be described like the British Army in Cafar's time: Some of them flay in Chariots, and fome on Foot. If the Infantry do lefs Execution than the Chrioteers, it is because they cannot be carried fo foon into all Quarters of the Town, and dispatch fo much Bufinefs in fo fhort a Time. Befides this Body of Regular Troops, there are Stragglers, who without being duly lifted and enrolled, do infinite Mischief to those who are fo unlucky as to fall into their Hands.

THERE are, befides the above-mentioned, innume rable Retainers to Phyfick, who for want of other Pati ents, amuse themselves with the ftifling of Cats in an Air Pump, cutting up Dogs alive, or impaling of Infects upon the point of a Needle for Microfcopical Obfervations; befides thofe that are employed in the gathering of Weeds, and the Chace of Butterflies: Not to mention the Cockle fhell-Merchants and Spider-catchers.

WHEN I confider how each of thefe Profeffions are crouded with Multitudes that feek their Livelihood in them, and how many Men of Merit there are in each of them, who may be rather faid to be of the Science, than the Profession; I very much wonder at the Humour of Parents, who will not rather chufe to place their Sons in a way of Life where an honest Industry cannot but thrive, than in Stations where the greateft Probity, Learning and good Senfe may mifcarry. How many Men are Country-Curates, that might have made themselves Aldermen of London, by a right Improvement of a fmaller Sum of Money than what is ufually laid out upon a learned Education? A fober frugal Perfon, of flender Parts and a flow Apprehenfion, might have thrived in Trade, though he ftarves upon Phyfick; as a Man would be well enough pleafed to buy Silks of one, whom he would not venture to feel his Pulfe. Vagellius is careful, ftudious and obliging, but withal a little thick-skull'd; he has not a fingle Client, but might have had abundance of Customers. The Misfortune is, that Parents take a Liking to a particular Profeffion, and therefore defire their Sons may be of it. Whereas, in fo great an Affair of Life, they should confider the Genius and Abilities of their Children, more than their own Inclinations.

IT is the great Advantage of a trading Nation, that there are very few in it fo dull and heavy, who may not be placed in Stations of Life, which may give them an Opportunity of making their Fortunes. A well-regulated Commerce is not, like Law, Phyfick, or Divinity, to be over-stocked with Hands; but, on the contrary, flourishes by Multitudes, and gives Employment to all its Profeffors. Fleets of Merchant-men are fo many Squa- drons of floating Shops, that vend our Wares and Manufactures in all the Markets of the World, and find out Chapmen under both the Tropicks.

C

N° 22.

Monday, March 26.

Quodcunque oftendis mihi fic incredulus odi.

T

Hor.

HE Word SPECTATOR being moft ufually underftood as one of the Audience at publick Reprefentations in our Theatres, I feldom fail of many Letters relating to Plays and Opera's. But indeed there are fuch monstrous things done in both, that if one had not been an Eye-witnefs of them, one could not believe that fuch Matters had really been exhibited. There is very little which concerns Human Life, or is a Picture of Nature that is regarded by the greater Part of the Company. The Understanding is difmiffed from our Entertainments. Our Mirth is the Laughter of Fools, and our Admiration the Wonder of Idiots; elfe fuch improbable, monftrous, and incoherent Dreams could not go off as they do, not only without the utmoft Scorn and Contempt, but even with the loudeft Applause and Approbation. But the Letters of my Correfpondents will reprefent this Affair in a more lively Manner than any Difcourfe of my own; I fhall therefore give them to my Reader with only this Preparation, that they all come from Players, and that the bufinefs of Playing is now fo managed, that you are not to be furprised when I fay one or two of them are rational, others fenfitive and vegetative Actors,

and

and others wholly inanimate. I fhall not place these as I have named them, but as they have Precedence in the Opinion of their Audiences.

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Mr. SPECTATOR,

YOUR having been fo humble as to take Notice of the Epiftles of other Animals, emboldens me, who am the wild Boar that was killed by Mrs. Tofts, to reprefent to you, That I think I was hardly ufed in not having the Part of the Lion in Hydafpes given to 6 me. It would have been but a natural Step for me to have perfonated that noble Creature, after having behaved my felf to Satisfaction in the Part above-mentioned: But that of a Lion, is too great a Character for one that never trod the Stage before but upon two Legs. As for the little Refiftance which I made, I hope it may ́ be excufed, when it is confidered that the Dart was 'thrown at me by fo fair an Hand. I must confefs I had but just put upon my Brutality; and Camilla's Charms were fuch, that beholding her erect Mein, hearing her charming Voice, and astonished with her graceful Motion, I could not keep up to my affumed Fierceness, but died like a Man.

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I am, S IR,

Mr. SPECTATOR,

Your most humble Servant,
Thomas Prone.

HIS is to let you understand, that the Play-house

'Tis a Reprefentation of the World in nothing fo

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much as in this Particular, that no one rifes in it according to his Merit. I have acted feveral Parts of Houfhold-ftuff with great Applaufe for many Years: I am one of the Men in the Hangings in the Emperor of the Moon; I have twice performed the third Chair in an English Opera; and have rehearsed the Pump in the Fortune-Hunters. I am now grown old, and hope you will recommend me fo effectually, as that I may fay fomething before I go off the Stage: In which you will do a great Act of Charity to

Your most humble Servant,
William Screne.

Mr.

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