́ with Industry and Fidelity what I want in Parts and Genius. I am, C SIR, Your most obedient Servant, Charles Lillie. GE DICK QACADFI N° 17. Tuesday, March 20. S -Tetrum ante Omnia vultum. Juv. INCE our Perfons are not of our own Making, when they are fuch as appear Defective or Uncomely, it is, methinks, an honeft and laudable Fortitude to dare to be Ugly; at leaft to keep our felves from being abashed with a Consciousness of Imperfections which we cannot help, and in which there is no Guilt. I would not defend an haggard Beau, for paffing away much time at a Glafs, and giving Softneffes and Languishing Graces to Deformity: All I intend is, that we ought to be contented with our Countenance and Shape, fo far, as never to give our felves an uneafie Reflection on that Subject. It is to the ordinary People, who are not accustomed to make very proper Remarks on any Occasion, matter of great Jeft, if a Man enters with a prominent Pair of Shoulders into an Affembly, or is diftinguifhed by an Expanfion of Mouth, or Obliquity of Afpect. It is happy for a Man, that has any of thefe Oddneffes about him, if he can be as merry upon himself, as others are apt to be upon that Occafion: When he can poffefs himself with fuch a Chearfulness, Women and Children, who were at firft frighted at him, will afterwards be as much pleafed with him. As it is barbarous in others to rally him for natural Defects, it is extreamly agreeable when he can Jest upon himself for them. MADAM Maintenon's firft Husband was an Hero in this Kind, and has drawn many Pleasantries from the Ir regularity regularity of his Shape, which he defcribes as very much refembling the Letter Z. He diverts himfelf likewife by reprefenting to his Reader the Make of an Engine and Pully, with which he used to take off his Hat. When there happens to be any thing ridiculous in a Vifage, and the Owner of it thinks it an Afpect of Dignity, he must be of very great Quality to be exempt from Raillery: The best Expedient therefore is to be pleasant upon himself. Prince Harry and Falftaffe, in Shakespear, have carried the Ridicule upon Fat and Lean as far as it will go. Falstaffe is humorously called Woolfack, Bed-preffer, and Hill of Flesh; Harry, a Starveling, an Elves-Skin, a sheath, a Bow-cafe, and a Tuck. There is, in feveral Incidents of the Converfation between them, the Jeft ftill kept up upon the Perfon. Great Tenderness and Senfibility in this Point is one of the greatest Weakneffes of Self-love. For my own part, I am a little unhappy in the Mold of my Face, which is not quite fo long as it is broad: Whether this might not parily arife from my opening my Mouth much feldomer than other People, and by Confequence not fo much lengthning the Fibres of my Vifage, I am not at leifure to determine. However it be, I have been often put out of Countenance by the Shortness of my Face, and was formerly at great Pains in concealing it by wearing a Periwig with an high Foretop, and letting my Beard grow. But now I have thoroughly got over this Delicacy, and could be contented were it much fhorter, provided it might qualifie me for a Member of the Merry Club, which the following Letter gives me an Account of. I have received it from Oxford, and as it abounds with the Spirit of Mirth and good Humour which is natural to that Place, I fhall fet it down Word for Word as it came to me. 4 Moft Profound Sir, HAVING been very well entertained, in the last your Speculations that I have yet feen, by your Specimen upon Clubs, which I therefore hope you will continue, I fhall take the Liberty to furnish you with. brief Account of fuch a one as perhaps you have not feen in all your Travels, unless it was your Fortune to touch upon fome of the woody Parts of the African Continent, 6 Continent, in your Voyage to or from Grand Cairo. There have arofe in this Univerfity (long fince you. left us without faying any thing) feveral of thefe in'ferior Hebdomadal Societies, as the Punning Club, the Witty Club, and amongst the reft, the Handfome Club; as a Burlesque upon which, a certain merry Species, 'that feem to have come into the World in Mafquerade, ' for fome Years laft paft have affociated themselves together, and affumed the Name of the Ugly Club: This ill-favoured Fraternity confifts of a Prefident and twelve Fellows; the Choice of which is not confined by Patent to any particular Foundation, (as St. John's Men 'would have the World believe, and have therefore erected a separate Society within themfelves) but Liberty is left to elect from any School in Great-Britain, provided the Candidates be within the Rules of the Club, as fet forth in a Table, entituled, The Act of Deformity. A Claufe or two of which I fhall transmit to you. I. THAT no Perfon whatsoever shall be admitted ' without a visible Quearity in his Afpect, or peculiar 'Caft of Countenance; of which the Prefident and Officers for the time being are to determine, and the Pre'fident to have the cafting Voice. II. THAT a fingular Regard be had, upon Exa'mination, to the Gibbofity of the Gentlemen that of 'fer themselves, as Founders Kinfmen; or to the Obliquity of their Figure, in what fort foever. III. THAT if the Quantity of any Man's Nose be eminently mifcalculated, whether as to Length or Breadth, he fhall have a juft Pretence to be elected. Laftly, THAT if there shall be two or more Competitors for the fame Vacancy, cateris paribus, he that has the thickest Skin to have the Preference. ‹ EVERY fresh Member, upon his firft Night, is to entertain the Company with a Dish of Cod-fish, and a Speech in Praife of fop; whofe Portraiture they have in full Proportion, or rather Difproportion, o ver the Chimney; and their Defign is, as foon as their Funds are fufficient, to purchase the Heads of Therfites, Duns Scotus, Scarron, Hudibrafs, and the old VOL. I. Ꭰ Gentle take care to keep clear of every thing which looks that Way. If I can any way affwage private Inflamations, or allay publick Ferments, I fhall apply my felf to it with my utmost Endeavours; but will never let my Heart reproach me, with having done any thing towards encreafing thofe Feuds and Animofities that extinguifh Religion, deface Government, and make a Nation milerable. WHAT I have faid under the three foregoing Heads, will, I am afraid, very much retrench the Number of my Correfpondents: I fhall therefore acquaint my Reader, that if he has ftarted any Hint which he is not able to purfue, if he has met with any furprizing Story which he does not know how to tell, if he has difcovered any Epidemical Vice which has escaped my Obfervation, or has heard of any uncommon Virtue which he would defire to publifh; in fhort, if he has any Materials that can furnish out an innocent Diverfion, Í fhall promise him my beft Affiftance in the working of them up for a publick Entertainment. THIS Paper my Reader will find was intended for an Answer to a Multitude of Correfpondents; but I hope he will pardon me if I fingle out one of them in particular, who has made me so very humble a Request, that I cannot forbear complying with it. SIR, I beg of To the SPECTATOR. March 15, 1710-1T. Am at prefent fo unfortunate, as to have nothing to do but to mind my own Bufinefs; and therefore you that you will be pleased to put me into fome fmall Poft under you. I obferve that you have appointed your Printer and Publisher to receive Letters and Advertisements for the City of London; and fhall think my felf very much honoured by you, if you will appoint me to take in Letters and Advertisements for the City of Westminster and the Dutchy of Lancaster. Though I cannot promife to fill fuch an Employment with fufficient Abilities, I will endeavour to make up with Industry and Fidelity what I want in Parts and Genius. I am, SIR, Your most obedient Servant, C Charles Lillie. N° 17. Tuesday, March 20. S -Tetrum ante Omnia vultum. Juv. INCE our Perfons are not of our own Making, when they are fuch as appear Defective or Uncomely, it is, methinks, an honeft and laudable Fortitude to dare to be Ugly; at leaft to keep our felves from being abafhed with a Consciousness of Imperfections which we cannot help, and in which there is no Guilt. I would not defend an haggard Beau, for paffing away much time at a Glafs, and giving Softneffes and Languishing Graces to Deformity: All I intend is, that we ought to be contented with our Countenance and Shape, fo far, as never to give our felves an uneafie Reflection on that Subject. It is to the ordinary People, who are not accustomed to make very proper Remarks on any Occasion, matter of great Jeft, if a Man enters with a prominent Pair of Shoulders into an Affembly, or is diftinguifhed by an Expanfion of Mouth, or Obliquity of Afpect. It is happy for a Man, that has any of thefe Oddnesses about him, if he can be as merry upon himself, as others are apt to be upon that Occafion: When he can poffefs him(elf with fuch a Chearfulness, Women and Children, who were at firft frighted at him, will afterwards be as much pleafed with him. As it is barbarous in others to rally him for natural Defects, it is extreamly agreeable when he can Jeft upon himself for them. MADAM Maintenon's first Husband was an Hero in this Kind, and has drawn many Pleasantries from the Irregularity |