one another in Countenance: The Room where the Club met was something of the largest, and had two En-` trances, the one by a Door of a moderate Size, and the other by a Pair of Folding-doors. If a Candidate for this Corpulent Club could make his Entrance through the first, he was looked upon as unqualified; but if he ftuck in the Paffage, and could not force his Way through it, the Folding-doors were immediately thrown open for his Reception, and he was faluted as a Brother. I have heard that this Club, tho' it confifted but of fifteen Perfons, weighed above three Tun. IN Oppofition to this Society, there fprung up another compofed of Scare-crows and Skeletons, who being very meagre and envious, did all they could to thwart the Defigns of their Bulky Brethren, whom they represented as Men of Dangerous Principles; till at length they worked them out of the Favour of the People, and confequently out of the Magiftracy. Thefe Factions tore the Corporation in Pieces for feveral Years, till at length they came to this Accommodation; that the two Bailiffs of the Town fhould be annually chofen out of the two Clubs; by which means the principal Magiftrates are at this Day coupled like Rabbets, one fat and one lean. EVERY one has heard of the Club, or rather the Confederacy, of the Kings. This grand Alliance was formed little after the Return of King Charles the Second, and admitted into it Men of all Qualities and Profeffions, provided they agreed in this Sir-name of King,. which, as they imagined, fufficiently declared the Owners of it to be altogether untainted with Republican and Anti-Monarchical Principles. A Chriftian Name has likewife been often used as a Badge of Diftinction, and made the Occafion of a Club. That of the George's, which used to meet at the Sign of the George on St. George's Day, and fwear Before George, is ftill fresh in every one's Memory, THERE are at prefent in feveral Parts of this City what they call Street-Clubs, in which the chief Inhabitants of the Street converfe together every Night. I remenber, upon my enquiring after Lodgings in Ormond-ftreet, the Landlord, recommend that Quarter of the Town, told me, there was at that time a very good Club in it i he he alfo told me, upon further Difcourfe with him, that two or three noifie Country Squires, who were fettled there the Year before, had confiderably funk the Price of Houfe-Rent; and that the Club (to prevent the like Inconveniencies for the future) had Thoughts of taking every Houfe that became vacant into their own Hands, ill they had found a Tenant for it, of a fociable Nature and good Conversation. THE Hum-Drum Club, of which I was formerly an unworthy Member, was made up of very honeft Gentlemen, of peaceable Difpofitions, that used to fit together, fmoak their Pipes, and fay nothing till Midnight. The Mum Club (as I am informed) is an Inftitution of the fame Nature, and as great an Enemy to Noise. AFTER these two innocent Societies, I cannot forbear mentioning a very mischievous one, that was erected in the Reign of King Charles the Second: I mean the Club of Duellifts, in which none was to be admitted that had not fought his Man. The Prefident of it was faid to have killed half a dozen in fingle Combat; and as for the other Members, they took their Seats according to the Number of their Slain. There was likewife a SideTable, for fuch as had only drawn Blood, and shewn a laudable Ambition of taking the firft Opportunity to qualifie themselves for the firft Table. This Club, confifting only of Men of Honour, did not continue long, most of the Members of it being put to the Sword, or hanged, a little after its Inftitution. OUR Modern celebrated Clubs are founded upon Eating and Drinking, which are Points wherein moft Men agree, and in which the Learned and Illiterate, the Dull and the Airy, the Philofopher and the Buffoon, can all of them bear a Part. The Kit-Cat it felf is faid to have taken its Original from a Mutton-Pye. The BeefSteak, and October Clubs, are neither of them averse to Eating and Drinking, if we may form a Judgment of them from their refpective Titles. WHEN Men are thus knit together, by a Love of Society, not a Spirit of Faction, and don't meet to cenfure or annoy those that are abfent, but to enjoy one another; When they are thus combined for their own Improvement, or for the Good of others, or at least to relax them themselves from the Bufinefs of the Day, by an innocent and chearful Converfation, there may be fomething very ufeful in these little Inftitutions and Establishments. I cannot forbear concluding this Paper with a Scheme of Laws that I met with upon a Wall in little Alehoufe: How I came thither I may inform my Reader at a more convenient time. Thefe Laws were enacted by a Knot of Artizans and Mechanicks, who ufed to meet every Night; and as there is fomething in them which gives us a pretty Picture of low Life, I fhall tranfcribe them Word for Word. RULES to be obferved in the Two-Penny Club, erected in this Place, for the Prefervation of Friendship and good Neighbourhood. 1. EVERY Member at his firft coming in fhall lay down his Two-Pence. II. EVERY Member shall fill his Pipe out of his own Box. III. If any Member abfents himself he fhall forfeit a Penny for the Ufe of the Club, unless in cafe of Sickness or Imprisonment. IV. IF any Member fwears or curfes, his Neighbour may give him a Kick upon the Shins. V. IF any Member tells Stories in the Club that are not true, he shall forfeit for every third Lie an Halfpenny. VI. IF any Member ftrikes another wrongfully, he fhall pay his Club for him. VII. IF any Member brings his Wife into the Club, he fhall pay for whatever the drinks or fmoaks. VIII. IF any Member's Wife comes to fetch him home from the Club, fhe fhall fpeak to him without the Door. IX. IF any Member calls another Cuckold, he shall be turned out of the Club. X. NONE fhall be admitted into the Club that is of the fame Trade with any Member of it. XI. NONE of the Club fhall have his Cloaths or Shoes made or mended, but by a Brother-Member. XII. NO Non-juror fhall be capable of being a Member. THE Morality of this little Club is guarded by fuch wholesome Laws and Penalties, that I queftion not but my Reader will be as well pleafed with them, as he would have been with the Leges Convivales of Ben. Johnfon, the Regulations of an old Roman Club cited by Lipfius, or the Rules of a Symposium in an ancient Greek Author. C N IO. Monday, March 12. Non aliter quam qui adverfo vix flumine lembum Atque illum in praceps prono rapit alveus amni. Virg. Tis with much Satisfaction that I hear this great City by ceiving my Morning Lectures with a becoming SeriOufness and Attention. My Publisher tells me, that there are already Three Thousand of them diftributed every Day: So that if I allow Twenty Readers to every Paper, which I look upon as a modeft Computation, I may reckon about Threefcore Thousand Disciples in London and Westminster, who I hope will take care to diftinguish themselves from the thoughtless Herd of their ignorant and unattentive Brethren. Since I have raised to my self fo great an Audience, I fhall fpare no Pains to make their Inftruction agreeable, and their Diverfion useful. For which Reasons I fhall endeavour to enliven Morality with Wit, and to temper Wit with Morality, that my Readers may, if poffible, both Ways find their Account in the Speculation of the Day. And to the End that their Virtue and Discretion may not be fhort tranfient intermitting Starts of Thought, I have refolved to refresh their Memories from Day to Day, till I have recovered them out of that defperate State of Vice and Folly into which the Age is fallen. The Mind that lies fallow but a single Day, Day, fprouts up in Follies that are only to be killed by a conftant and affiduous Culture. It was faid of Socrates, that he brought Philofophy down from Heaven, to inhabit among Men; and I fhall be ambitious to have it faid of me, that I have brought Philofophy out of Clofets and Libraries, Schools and Colleges, to dwell in Clubs and Affemblies, at Tea-Tables and in Coffee-Houses. I would therefore in a very particular Manner recommend these my Speculations to all well-regulated Families, that fet apart an Hour in every Morning for Tea and Bread and Butter; and would earnestly advise them for their Good to order this Paper to be punctually ferved. up, and to be looked upon as a Part of the Tea-Equipage. SIR Francis Bacon obferves, that a well-written Book, compared with its Rivals and Antagonists, is like Mofes's Serpent, that immediately fwallowed up and devoured thofe of the Egyptians. I fhall not be fo vain as to think, that where the SPECTATOR appears, the other publick Prints will vanish; But fhall leave it to my Reader's Confideration, whether, Is it not much better to be let into the Knowledge of ones felf, than to hear what paffes in Mufcovy or Poland; and to amuse our selves with fuch Writings as tend to the wearing out of Ignorance, Paffion and Prejudice, than fuch as naturally conduce to inflame Hatreds, and make Enmities irreconcilable? In the next Place I would recommend this Paper to the daily Perufal of thofe Gentlemen whom I cannot but confider as my good Brothers and Allies, I mean the Fraternity of Spectators, who live in the World without having any thing to do in it; and either by the Affluence of their Fortunes, or Lazinefs of their Difpofitions, have no other Bufinefs with the reft of Mankind, but to look upon them. Under this Clafs of Men are comprehended all contemplative Tradefmen, titular Phyficians, Fellows of the Royal Society, Templers that are not given to be contentious, and Statesmen that are out of Bufinefs; in fhort, every one that confiders the World as a Theatre, and defires to form a right Judgment of those who are the Actors on it. THERE is another Set of Men that I must likewife lay a Claim to, whom I have lately called the Blanks of Society, |