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• fhould make her afraid to speak her Mind, and there
fore she is impertinently Blunt to all her Acquaintances
and unfeasonably Imperious to all her Family. Dear Sir, * be pleased to put such Books in our Hands, as may make
our Virtuc more inward, and convince some of us that in a Mind truly virtuous the Scorn of Vice is always accompanied with the Pity of it. This, and other things, are impatiently expected from you by our whole Sex; among the reft by,
SIR, Your most Huemble Servant, R
Friday, June 1.
Cælum non animum mutant qui trans mare-currunt. Hor. N the Year 1688, and on the fame Day of that Year, were born in Cheapside, London, two Females of ex
quisite Feature and Shape; the one we fall call Brunetta, the other Phillis. A close Intimacy between their Parents made each of them the first Acquaintance the ather knew in the World: They played, dressed Babies, a&ed Visitings, learned to Dance and make Curtelies, together. They were inseparable Companions in all the little Entertainments their
were capable of: Which innocent Happiness continued till the Beginning of their fifteenth Year, when it happened that Mrs. Phillis had an Head-dress on which became her so very well, that instead of being beheld any more with Pleasure for their Amity to each other, the Eyes of the Neighbourhood were turned to remark them with Comparison of their Beauty. They now no longer enjoyed the Ease of Mind and pleasing Indolence in which they were formerly happy, but all
their Words and Actions were misinterpreted by each other, and every Excellence in their Speech and Behaviour was looked upon as an Ad of Emulation to furpass the other. These Beginnings of Disinclination foon improved into a Formality of Behaviour, a general Coldness, and by natural Steps into an irreconcileable Hatred.
THESE two Rivals for the Reputation of Beauty, were in their Stature, Countenance and Mein so very much alike, that if you were fpeaking of them in their Absence, the Words in which you described the one must give you an Idea of the other. They were hardly diftinguishable, you would think, when they were apart, tho' extreamly different when together. What made their Enmity the more entertaining to all the rest of their Sex was, that in Detraction from each other neither could fall upon Terms which did not hit her felf as much as her Adversary. Their Nights grew restless with Meditation of new Dreffes to ourvie each other, and inventing new Devices to recall Admirers, who observed the Charms of the one rather than those of the other on the last Meeting. Their Colours failed at each other's Appearance, fushed with Pleasure at the Report of a Difadvantage, and their Countenances withered upon In
ftances of Applause. The Decencies to which Women are obliged, made chefe Virgins ftifle their Refentment fo far as not to break into open Violences, while they equally suffered the Torments of a regulated Anger.' Their Mothers, as it is usual, engaged in the Quarrel, and fupported the several Pretenlions of the Daughters with all What ill-chosen Sort of Expence which is common with People of plentiful Fortunes and mean Tafte. The Girls preceded their Parents like Queens of May, in all the gaudy Colours imaginable on every Sunday to Church, and were exposed to thė Examination of the Audience for Superiority of Beauty.
DURING this conftant Struggle it happened, that Phillis one Day at publick Prayers fmote the Heart of a gay Weft-Indian, who appeared in all the Colours which can affect an Eye that could not diftinguish between being fine and tawdry. This American in a Summer-Island Suit was too shining and too gay to be resisted by Phillis, and too intent upon her Charms to be diverted' by any of the laboured Attractions of Brunetta. Soon after, Brunette had the Mortification to see her Rival disposed of in a wealthy Marriage, while she was only addressed to in a Manner that showed she was the Admiration of all Men,but the Choice of none. Phillis was carried to the Habitation of her Spouse in Barbadoes : Brunetta had the ill Nature to en
quire for her by every Opportunity, and had the Misfortune to hear of her being attended by numerous Slaves, fanned into Slumbers by successive Hands of them, and carried from Place to Place in all the Pomp of barbarous Magnificence. Brunetta could not endure these repeated Advices, but employed all her Arts and Charms in laying Baits for any of Condition of the fame Island, out of a merè Ambition to confront her once more before she died. She at last succeeded in her Design, and was taken to Wife by a Gentleman whose Estate was contiguous to that of her Enemy's Husband. It would be endless to enumerate the many Occasions on which these irreconcileable Beauties laboured to excel each other; but in pro. cess of Time it happened that a Ship put into the Island consigned to a friend of Phillis, who had Directions to give her the Refusal of all Goods for Apparel, before Brunetta could be alarmed of their Arrival. He did so, and Phillis was dressed in a few Days in a Brocade more gorgeous and costly than had ever before appeared in that Latitude. Brunetta languished at the Sight, and could by no Means come up to the Bravery of her Antagonist
. She communicated her Anguila of Mind to a faithful Friend, who by an Interest in the Wife of Phillis's Merchant, procured a Remnant of the same Silk for Brunetta. Phillis took Pains to appear in all publick Places where fhe was sure to meet Brunetta ; Brunetta was now prepared for the Insult, and came to a publick Ball in a plain black Silk Mantua, attended by a beautiful Negro Girl in a Petticoat of the same Brocade with which Phillis was attired. This drew the At. tention of the whole Company, upon which the unhappy, Phillis swooned away, and was immediately conveyed to ber House. As soon as she came to her self she fled from her Husband's House, went on board a Ship in the Road, and is now landed in inconsolable Despair at Plymouth,
AFTER the above melancholy Narration, it may perhaps be a Relief to the Reader to peruse the following Expoftulation,
To Mr. SPECTATOR,
The just Remonstrance of affronted THAT. :T
* HO’I deny not the Petition of Mr. Who and which,
yet You should not suffer them to be rude and ta • call honest People Names: For that bears very hard on « some of those Rules of Decency, which you are juftiy « famous for establishing. They inay find Fault, and corn ' rect Speeches in the Senate and at the Bar: But let them
try to get themselves fo often and with so much Eloquence repeated in a Sentence, as a great Orator doth frequently introduce me.
MY Lords! (says he) with humble Submission, That • that I say is this : that, That that, that Gentleman has • advanced, is not That, that he should have proved to
your Lordships. Let those two questionary Petitioners
gure would Mr. Bayes have made without his Egad and - all That? How can a judicious Man diftinguish one thing • from another, without saying This here, or That there? . And how can a sober Man without using the Expletives • of Oaths (in which indeed the Rakes and Bullies have a
great Advantage over others) make a Discourse of any • tolerable Length, without That is; and if he be a very
grave Man indeed, without That is to say? And how in• Atructive as well as entertaining are those usual Expresli.
ons, in the Mouths of great Men, Such Things as That, ( and The like of That.
* I am not against reforming the Corruptions of Speech
You mention, and own there are proper Seasons for the • Introduction of other Words besides That; but I scorn
as much to supply the Place of a Who or a which at eve-
is, that I am,
13. U. CT2
The I N D E X.
nians, and respected by the
Ambition never satisfied, N, 27.
er, N. 57.
of the Ugly Club, N. 17. Day in the Year, N. 47.
her Story of Inkle and rarico,
the lambick Verse, N. 39.