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jufted in your Life-Time; but I hope your Affection to your MOTHER will not make you partial to your AUNT.

TO tell you, Sir, my own Opinion: Tho’I cannot find any ancient Records of any Acts of the SOCIETY OF THE UGLY FACES, considered in a pubtick Capacity;

yet in a private one they have certainly Antiquity on • their Side. I am perfwaded they will hardly give Place

to the LOWNGERS, and the LOWNGER Sare of the same Standing with the University it self.

THO'we well know, Sir, you want no Motives to do Justice, yet I am commissioned to tell you, that you s are invited to be admitted ad eundem at CAMBRIDGE; " and I believe I may venture safely to deliver this as the Wish of our whole University.

To Mr. SPECTATOR:
The humble Petition of WHO and WHICH,
Sheweth,
T

HAT your Petitioners being in a forlorn and de: apply our selves for Relief, because there is hardly any • Man alive who hath not injured us. Nay we speak it with • Sorrow, even You your self, whom we should suspect • of such a Practice the last of all Mankind, can hardly ac• quit your self of having given us some Cause of Com

plaint. We are descended of ancient Families, and kept

up our Dignity and Honour many years, till the Jack• sprat Tha T supplanted us. How often have we found.

our selves slighted by the Clergy in their Pulpits, and the

Lawyers at the Bar Nay, how often have we heard in • one of the most police and august Assemblies in the Uni

verse; to our great Mortification, these Words, That THAT that noble L-durged; which if one of us had

had Justice done, would have founded nobler thus, That WHICH that noble L -d urged. Senates themselves, the Guardians of British Liberty, have degraded us, and preferred THAT to us; and yet no Decree was ever

given against us. In the very Acts of Parliament, in · which the utmost Right should be done to every Body, WORD, and Thing, we find our selves often either not • used, or ufed one instead of another. In the first and best : Prayer Children are taught they learn to misuse us: Our

Father

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Father WHICH art in Heaven, should be, Our Father WHO art in Heaven ; and even a CONVOCATION, after long Debates, refused to consent to an Alteration of it, In our general Confeffion we say,-----Spare Thou them, O God, WHICH confess their Faults, which ought to be, WHO confefs their Faults. What Hopes then have we of having Justice done us, when the Makers of our very Prayers and Laws, and the most learned in all Faculties, seem to be in a Confederacy against us, and our Enemies themselves must be our Judges, *THE Spanish Proverb says, Il Sabio muda conscio, il necio no; i. e. A wise Man changes his Mind, a Fool never will. So that we think You, Sir, a very proper Person to address to, fince we know you to be capable of being convinced, and changing your Judgment. You are well able to settle this Affair, and to you we submit our Cause. We desire you to assign the Butts and Bounds of each of us; and that for the future we may both enjoy our own. We would desire to be heard by our Council, but that

we fear in their very Pleadings they would betray our 'Cause: Besides, we have been oppressed so many Years,

that we can appear no other way, but in forma pauperis. "All which considered, we hope you will be pleased to • do that which to Right and Justice shall appertain, R

And your Petitioners, &c.

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N° 79.

I

Thursday, May 31. Oderunt peccare boni virtutis amore, Hor. Have received very many Letters of late from my Female Correspondents, most of whom are very angry

with me for Abridging their Pleasures, and looking severely upon Things, in themselves indifferent. But I think they are extreamly Unjuft to me in this Imputation: All that I contend' for is, that those Excellencies which are to be regarded but in the second Place, should not precede more weighty Confiderations. The Heart of Man deceives him in spite of the Lectures of half a Life spent in Discourses on the Subjection of Palfion; and I do not know why one may not think the Heart of Wo

man

man as Unfaithful to it self. If we grant an Equality in the Faculties of both Sexes, the Minds of Women are less cultivated with Precepts, and consequently may, without Disrespect to them, be accounted more liable to Illusion in Cases wherein natural Inclination is out of the Interests of Virtue. I shall take up my present Time in Commenting upon a Billet or two which came from La. dies, and from thence leave the Reader to judge whether I am in the right or not, in thinking it is possible Fine Women may be mistaken.

The following Address seems to have no other Design in it, but to tell me the Writer will do what she pleases for all me.

Mr. SPECTATOR,
I Aaches of them nocence y hue hai ache same time, wat he

have a plentiful Fortune, and am of Quality, I am un' willing to resign the Pleasures of Diftinction, some lit• tle Satisfaction in being Admired in general, and much

greater in being beloved by a Gentleman, whom I de

sign to make iny Husband. But I have a Mind to put soft entring into Matrimony till another Winter is over

my Head, which (whatever, iufty Sir, you may thinka

of the Matter) I design to pass away in hearing Musick, • going to Plays, Visiting, and all other Satisfa&tions

which Fortune and Youth, protected by Innocence and • Virtue, can procure for, S I R, Your moft humble Servant,

M. T: « MY Lover does not know I like him, therefore having no Engagements upon me, I think to stay and know ' whether I may not like any one else better.

I have heard WILL. HONEYCOMB fay, A Woman feldom writes her mind but in her Poftscript. I think this Gentlewoman has sufficiently discovered hers in this. I'll lay what Wager fhe pleases against her present Favourite; and can tell her that she will Like Ten more before she is fixed, and then will take the worst Man The ever liked in her Life. There is no end of Affection taken in at the Eyes only; and you may as well-fatisfie thore Eyes with seeing, as controul any Pallion received by them

only,

only. It is from Loving by Sight that Coxcombs so frequently succeed with Women, and very often a Young Lady is bestowed by her Parents to a Man who weds her (as Innocence it self,) tho' she has, in her own Heart, give en her Approbation of a different Man in every Assembly she was in the whole Year before. · What is wanting an mong Women, as well as among Men, is the Love of laudable Things, and not to rest only in the Forbearance of such as are Reproachful,

HOW far removed from a Woman of this light Imagination is Eudosia! Eudofia has all the Arts of Life and good Breeding with so much Ease, that the Virtue of her Conduct looks more like an Instinct than Choice. It is as little difficult toher to think justly of Persons and Things, as it is to a Woman of different Accomplishments, to move ill or look aukward. That which was, at first, the Effect of Instruction, is grown into an Habit; and it would be as hard for Eudosia to indulge a wrong Suggestion of Thought, as it would be to Flavia, the fine Dancer, to come into a Room with an unbecoming Air.

BUT the Misapprehenfions People themselves have of their own State of Mind, is laid down with much discern-' ing in the following Letter, which is but an Extract of a' kind Epistle from my Charming Mistress Hecatissa, who is above the Vanity of external Beauty, and is the better Judge of the Perfections of the Mind.

Mr SPECTATOR,
I Write this to acquaint you, that very many Ladies,

as well as my self, spend many Hours more than we used at the Glass, for want of the Female Library of which you promised us a Catalogue. I hope, Sir,

in the Choice of Authors for us, you will have a parti• cular Regard to Books of Devotion. What they are, • and how many, must be your chief Care; for upon the

Propriety of such Writings depends a great deal. I have

known those among us who think, if they every Morn• ing and Evening spend an Hour, in their Closet, and

read over so many Prayers in fix or seven Books of De• votion, all equally nonsensieal, with a sort of Warmth, • (that might as well be raised by a Glafs of Wine, or a Drachm of Citron) they may all the rest of their time

go

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go on in whatever their particular Passion leads them to, + The Beauteous Philantia, who is (in your Language) an Idol, is one of these Votaries; she has a very pretty tur' nished Closet, to which she retires at her appointed • Hours: This is her Dressing room, as well as Chappel? • she has constantly before her a large Looking-glass, and upon the Table, according to a very Witty Author,

Together lye ber Prayer-Book and Paint,

At once t'improve the Sinner and the saint. . IT must be a good Scene, if one could be present at

it, to see this Idol by turns lift up her Eyes to Heaven, 6 and steal Glances at her own dear Person. It cannot . but be a pleasant Conflict between Vanity and Humiliation.

When you are upon this Subject, chuse Books • which elevate the Mind above the World, and give a

pleasing Indifference to little things in it. For want of s fuch Instructions, I am apt to believe so many people

take it in their Heads to be sullen, cross and angry, under Pretence of being abstracted from the Affairs of this Life, when at the same time they betray their Fondness

for them by doing their Duty as a Task, and pouting • and reading good Books for a week together, Much • of this I take to proceed from the Indiscretion of the • Books themselves, whose very Titles of Weekly Prepa

rations, and such limited Godliness, lead People of or

dinary Capacities into great Errors, and raise in them a • Mechanical Religion, intirely diftinct from Morality. . I know a Lady To given up to this sort of Devotion, • that tho' she employs fix or eight Hours of the twenty

four at Cards, she never misses one constant Hour of Prayer, for which time another holds her Cards, to which she returns with no little Anxiousness till two or three in the Morning. All these Acts are but empty

Shows, and, as it were, Compliments made to Vir« tue; the Mind is all the while untouched with any true s Pleasure in the Pursuit of it. From hence I presume it s arises that fo many People call themselves Virtuous, s from no other Pretence to it but an Absence of ill.

There is Dulcianara is the most insolent of all Creatures
to her Friends and Domesticks, upon no other Pretence
in Nature but that (as her filly Phrase is) no one can say
Black is her Eye, She has no Sesrets, forsooth, which

*
.
should

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