IT is not here to be omitted, that in one of the abovementioned Female Compofitions, the Rover is very frequently fent on the fame Errand; as I take it, above once every A&t. This is not wholly unnatural; for, they fay, the Men-Authors draw themfelves in their chief Characters, and the Women-Writers may be allowed the fame Liberty. Thus, as the Male Wit gives his Hero a great Fortune, the Female gives her Heroin a good GalLant, at the end of the Play. But, indeed, there is hardly a Play one can go to, but the Hero or fine Gentleman of it ftruts off upon the fame account, and leaves us to confider what good Office he has put us to, or to employ our felves as we pleafe. To be plain, a Man who frequents Plays, would have a very refpectful Notion of himfelf, where he to recollect how often he has been used as a Pimp to ravishing Tyrants, or fuccefsful Rakes. When the Actors make their Exit on this good Occafion, the Ladies are fure to have an examining Glance from the Pit, to fee how they relish what paffes; and a few lewd Fools are very ready to employ their Talents upon the Compofure or Freedom of their Looks. Such Incidents as these make fome Ladies wholly abfent themselves from the Play-houfe; and others never mifs the first Day of a Play, left it should prove too luscious to admit their going with any Countenance to it on the fecond. IF Men of Wit, who think fit to write for the Stage, inftead of this pitiful way of giving Delight, would turn their Thoughts upon raifing it from good natural Impulfes as are in the Audience, but are choaked up by Vice and Luxury, they would not only please, but befriend us at the fame time. Ifa Man had a Mind to be new in his way of Writing, might not he who is now represented as a fine Gentleman, tho' he betrays the Honour and Bed of his Neighbour and Friend, and lyes with half the Women in the Play, and is at laft rewarded with her of the beft Character in it; I fay, upon giving the Comedy another Caft, might not fuch a one divert the Audience quite as well, if at the Catastrophe he were found out for a Traytor, and met with Contempt accordingly? There is feldom a Perfon devoted to above one Darling Vice at a Time, fo that there is room enough to catch at Mens 1 Mens Hearts to their Good and Advantage, if the Poets will attempt it with the Honefty which becomes their Characters. THERE is no Man who loves his Bottle or his MiArefs, in a manner fo very abandoned, as not to be capable of relifhing an agreeable Character, that is no way a Slave to either of thofe Purfuits. A Man that is Temperate, Generous, Valiant, Chaste, Faithful and Honest, may, at the fame time, have Wit, Humour, Mirth, good Breeding and Gallantry. While he exerts thefe latter Qualities, twenty Occafions might be invented to fhew he is Mafter of the other noble Virtues. Such Characters would fmite and reprove the Heart of a Man of Senfe, when he is given up to his Pleafures. He would fee he has been mistaken all this while, and be convinced that á found Conftitution and an innocent Mind are the true Ingredients for becoming and enjoying Life. All Men of true Tafte would call a Man of Wit, who fhould turn his Ambition this way, a Friend and Benefactor to his Country; but I am at a lofs what Name they would give him, who makes ufe of his Capacity for contrary Purposes. R N° 52. Monday, April 30. Omnes ut Tecum meritis pro Talibus annos A Virg. N ingenious Correfpondent, like a fprightly Wife, will always have the laft Word. I did not think my laft Letter to the deformed Fraternity would have occafioned any Anfwer, efpecially fince I had promised them fo fudden a Visit: But as they think they cannot fhew too great a Veneration for my Perfon, they have already fent me up an Anfwer. As to the Propofal of a Marriage between my felf and the matchlefs Hecatiffa, I have but one Objection to it; which is, That all the Society will expect to be acquainted with her; and } $ who who can be fure of keeping a Woman's Heart long, where fhe may have fo much Choice? I am the more alarmed at this, because the Lady feems particularly (mitten with Men of their Make. I believe I shall fet my Heart upon her; and think never the worfe of my Miftrefs for an Epigram a smart Fellow writ, as he thought, against her; it does but the more recommend her to me. At the fame Time I cannot but discover that his Malice is ftoln from Martial. Tacta places, Audita places, fi non videare Whilft in the Dark on thy foft Hand I hung, "YOUR Letter to us we have received, as a fignal Mark of your Favour and brotherly Affection. We fhall be heartily glad to fee your fhort Face in Oxford: And fince the Wisdom of our Legiflature has been • immortalized in your Speculations, and our personal • Deformities in fome fort by you recorded to all Pofterity; we hold our felves in Gratitude bound to receive, with the highest Respect, all fuch Perfons as for their extraordinary Merit you fhall think fit, from Time to Time, to recommend unto the Board. As for the Pictish • Damfel, we have an easie Chair prepared at the upper End of the Table; which we doubt not but she will · grace with a very hideous Afpect, and much better become the Seat in the native and unaffected Uncomelinefs of her Perfon, than with all the fuperficial Airs of the Pencil, which (as you have very ingeniously obferved) vanish with a Breath, and the most innocent • Adorer may deface the Shrine with a Salutation, and in the literal Senfe of our Poets, fnatch and imprint his balmy Kiffes, and devour her melting Lips: In fhort, the only Faces of the Pictish Kind that will endure the Weather, must be of Dr. Carbuncle's die; tho' his, in truth, has coft him a World the Painting, but then he boats with Xeuxes, In eternitatem pingo; and oft jocofely tells the fair Ones, would they acquire Colours ⚫ that that would ftand kiffing, they muft no longer Paint but Drink for a Complexion: A Maxim that in this our Age has been pursued with no ill Succefs; and has been as admirable in its Effects, as the famous Cofmetick mentioned in the Poft-man, and invented by the renowned British Hippocrates of the Peftle and Mortar : making the Party, after a due Course, rofie, hale, and airy; and the best and most approved Receipt now extant for the Fever of the Spirits. But to return to our Female Candidate, who, I understand, is returned to her self, and will no longer hang out falfe Colours; as fhe is the first of her Sex that has done us fo great an Honour, she will certainly, in a very fhort Time, both in Profe and Verfe, be a Lady of the most celebrated Deformity now living; and meet with Admirers here as frightful as her felf. But being a long-headed Gentlewoman, I am apt to imagine he has fome further Defign than you have yet penetrated; and perhaps has more Mind to the SPECTATOR than any of his Fraternity, as the Perfon of all the World fhe could like for a Paramour: And if fo, really I cannot but applaud her Choice; and 'fhould be glad, if it might lye in my Power, to effect an amicable Accommodation betwixt two Faces of fuch different Extreams, as the only poffible Expedient to mend the Breed, and rectifie the Phifiognomy of the Family on both Sides. And again, as fhe is a Lady of a very fluent Elocution, you need not fear that your firft Child will be born dumb, which otherwise you might have fome Reafon to be apprehenfive of. To be plain with you, I can fee nothing fhocking in it ; for tho' fhe has not a Face like a John-Apple, yet as a late Friend of mine, who at fixty five ventured on a • Lafs of fifteen, very frequently, in the remaining five Years of his Life, gave me to understand, That, as old as he then feemed, when they were firft married hè and his Spouse could make but Fourfcore; fo may Madam Hecatifsa very juftly alledge hereafter, That, as long vifaged as fhe may then be thought, upon their Wedding-day Mr. SPECTATOR and fhe had but Half an Ell of Face betwixt them: And this my very' worthy Predeceffor, Mr. Sergeant Chin, always maintained to be no more than the true oval Proportion between · Man Man and Wife. But as this may be a new thing to you, who have hitherto had no Expectations from Women, I fhall allow you what Time you think fit to 'confider on't; not without fome Hope of feeing at last your Thoughts hereupon fubjoined to mine, and which is an Honour much defired by, SIR, Your affured Friend, and most humble Servant, Hugh Gobling Præfes. THE following Letter has not much in it, but as it is written in my own Praise I cannot for my Heart fupprefs it. SIR, •Yo OU propofed in your SPECTATOR of laft Tuef day Mr. Hobbs's Hypothefis, for folving that very odd Phænomenon of Laughter. You have made the Hypothefis valuable by efpoufing it your felf, for had it continued Mr. Hobbs's, no Body would have minded it. Now here this perplexed Cafe arifes. A certain Company laughed very heartily upon the Reading of that very Paper of yours: And the Truth on it is, he must be a Man of more than ordinary Conftancy that could ftand it out against so much Comedy, and not do as we did, Now there are few Men in the World fo far loft to all good Senfe, as to look upon you to be a Man in a State of Folly inferior to himself. Pray then, how do you justifie your Hypothesis of Laughter? Thursday, the 26th of Your most humble, the Month of Fools, SIR, Q. R. IN N anfwer to your Letter, I muft defire you to recol lect your felf; and you will find, that when you did me the Honour to be fo merry over my Paper, you laughed at the Ideot, the German Courtier, the Gaper, the Merry-Andrew, the Haberdasher, the Biter, the Butt, ⚫ and not at R Your humble Servant, The SPECTATOR, |