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• Garlands of Leaves. It is probable that when this great Work was begun, which must have been many
hundred Years ago, there was some Religion among this Peo
ple, for they give it the Name of a Temple, and have ! a Tradition that it was designed for Men to pay their • Devotions in. And indeed, there are several Reasons
which make us think, that the Natives of this Country had formerly among them some sort of Worship; for they set apart every leventh Day as sacred : But upon my going into one of these holy Houses on that Day, I 'could not observe any Circumstance of Devotion in
their Behaviour: There was indeed a Man in black who
was mounted above the rest, and seemed to utter some. ' thing with a
a great deal of Vehemence; but as for those ' underneath him, instead of paying their Worship to the
Deity of the Place, they were mort of them bowing and curtisying to one another, and a considerable Number of them fast asleep.
• THE Queen of the Country appointed two Men to ' attend us, that had enough of our Language to make
themselves understood in some few Particulars. But we • foon perceived these two were great Enemies to one
another, and did not always agree in the same Story. • We could make a shift to gather out of one of them, • that this INand was very much infested with a mon" trous Kind of Animals, in the Shape of Men, called • Whigs; and he often told us, that he hoped we should
meet with none of them in our Way, for that if we ! did, they would be apt to knock us down for being Kings.
OUR other Interpreter used to talk very much of a • kind of Animal called a Tory, that was as great a Mon• fter as the Whig, and would treat us as ill for being Fo
reigners. These two Creatures, it seems, are born with a secret Antipathy to one another, and engage when they meet as naturally as the Elephant and the Rhinoceros. But as we saw none of either of these Species, we are apt to think that our Guides deceived us with
Misrepresentations and Fictions, and ainused us with an • Account of such Monsters as are not really in their • Country.
"THESE Particulars we made a Shift to pick out • from the Discourse of our Interpreters; which we
put together as well as we could, being able to under• Itand but here and there a Word of what they said, and "afterwards making up the Meaning of it among our • felves. The Men of the Country are very cunning and ' ingenious in handicraft Works; but withal fo very idle, • that we often faw young lusty raw-boned Fellows car• ried up and down the Streets in little covered Rooms
by a couple of Porters, who are hired for that Service, • Their Dress is likewise very barbarous, for they almost
strangle themselves about the Neck, and bind their Bo• dies with many Ligatures, that we are apt to
think the Occasion of several Distempers among them which • our Country is entirely free from. Instead of those : beautiful Feathers with which we adorn our Heads, they • often buy up a monstrous Bush of Hair, which covers • their Heads, and falls down in a large Fleece below
the middle of their Backs; with which they walk up and down the Streets, and are as proud of it as if it was of their own Growth.
WE were invited to one of their publick Diver. • lions, where we hoped to have seen the great Men • of their Country running down a Stag or pitching a
Bar, that we might have discovered who were the Per* sons of the greatest Abilities among them; but instead
of that they conveyed us into a huge Room lighted up « with abundance of Candles, where this lazy People • sate ftill above three Hours to see several Feats of
Ingenuity performed by others, who it seeins were paid for it.
* AS for the Women of the Country, not being able. ' to talk with them, we could only make our Remarks
upon them at a Distance. They let the Hair of their ! • Heads grow to a great length; but as the Men make a
great show with #cads of Hair that are none of their own, the Women, who they say have very fine Heads
of Hair, tie it up in a Knot, and cover it from being seen. . The Wonen look like Angels, and would be more beau• tiful than the Sun, were it not for little black Spots,
that apt to break out in their faces, and sometimes rile in very odd Figures. I have obseryed that those
! little Blemishes wear off
very soon; but when they difpear in one Part of the Face, they are very apt to break out in another, insomuch that I have see a Spot upon
the Forehead in the Afternoon, which was upon the Chin in the Morning.
THE Author then proceeds to shew the Absurdity of Breeches and Petticoats, with many other curious Observations, which I shall reserve for another Occasion. I cannot however conclude this paper without taking Notice, That amidst these wild Remarks there now and then appears something very reasonable. I cannot likewise forbear observing, that we are all guilty in some mea. sure of the fame narrow way of Thinking, which we meet with in this Abstract of the Indian Journal; when we fancy the Customs, Dresses, and Manners of other Countries are ridiculous and extravagant, if they do not resemble those of our own.
Saturday, April 28.
Torquet ab Obscenis jam nunc Sermonibus Aurem! Hor.
Y Fortune, Quality, and Person are such as rent • der me as conspicuous as any young
Woman ' in Town. It is in my Power to enjoy it in all • its Vanities, but I have, from a very careful Education,
contracted a great Aversion to the forward Air and Fam • shion which is practifed in all Publick Places and Ara • semblies. I attribute this very much to the Style and • Manners of our Plays: I was last Night at the Funeral, • where a confident Lover in the Play, speaking of his • Mistress, cries out. ob that Harriot! to fold these Arm's
about the Waste of that beauteous, frugling, and at laft yielding Fair ? Such an image as this ought, by no means, to be presented to a chafte and regular Audience. I expect your Opinion of this Sentence, and recommend to
your Confideration, as a SPECTATOR, the Conduct of the Stage at present, with Relation to Chastity and Modesty.
I am, SIR,
Your Constant Reader, and Well-wisher. THE Complaint of this yoứng Lady is so just, that the Offence is gross enough to have difpleafed Persons who cannot pretend to that Delicacy and Modesty, of which she is Miftress. But there is a great deal to be said in Behalf of an Author : If the Audience would but confider the Difficulty of keeping up a sprightly Dialogue for five Acts together, they would allow a Writer, when he wants Wit, and can't please any otherwise, to help it out with a little Smuttinefs. I will answer for the Poets, thar no one ever writ Bawdry for any other Reason but Dearth of Invention. When the Author cannot ftrike out of himself any more of that which he has superior to those who made up the Bulk of his Audience, his natural Recourse is to that which he has in common with them;
and a Description which gratifies a sensual Appetite will please, when the Author has nothing about him to delight a re, fined Imagination. It is to such a Poverty we must impute this and all other Sentences in Plays, which are of this kind, and which are commonly term'd Luscious Expressions.
THIS Expedient, to supply the Deficiences of Wit, has been used, more or less, by most of the Authors who have succeeded on the Stage; tho' I know but one who has professedly writ a Play upon the Basis of the Desire of multiplying our Species, and that is the Polite Sir George Etheridge ; if I understand what the Lady would be at, in the Play called she would if she could. Other Poets have, here and there, given an Intimation that there is this Design, under all the Disguises and Affectations which à Lady may put on; but no. Author, except this, has made sure Work of it, and put the Imaginations of the Audience upon this one Purpose, from the Beginning to the end of the Comedy. It has always fared accordingly; for whether it be, that all who go to this Piece would if they could, or that the Innocents go to it, to guess only what she would if she could, the Play has always
been well received,
IT lifts an heavy empty Sentence, when there is ad. ded to it a lascivious Gelture of Body; and when it is too low to be raised even by that, a flat Meaning is enlivened by making it a double one. Writers, who want Genius, never fail of keeping this Secret in reserve, to create a Laugh, or raise a Clap. I, who know nothing of Women but from seeing Plays, can give great Guesses at the whole Structure of the fair Sex, by being innocently placed in the Pit, and insulted by the Petticoats of their Dancers; the Advantages of whose pretty Persons are a great help to a dull Play. When a Poet flags in Writing Tusciously, a pretty Girl can move lasciviously, and have the fame good Consequence for the Author. Dull Poets in this Case use their Audiences, as dull Parasites do their Patrons; when they cannot longer divert them with their Wit or Humour, they bait their Ears with something which is agreeable to their Temper, though below their Understanding. Apicius cannot resist being pleased, if you give him an Account of a delicious Meal; or Clodius, if you describe a wanton Beauty : Tho’at the same time, if you do not awake those Inclinations in them, no Men are better Judges of what is just and delicate in Conversation, But as I have before observed, it is easier to talk to the Man, than to the Man of Sense.
I Tis remarkable, that the Writers of least Learning are best skilled in the luscious Way. The Poetesses of the Age have done Wonders in this kind; and we are obliged to the Lady who writ Ibrahim, for introducing a preparatory Scene to the very Action, when the Emperor throws his Hankerchief as a Signal for his Mistress to follow him into the most retired Part of the Seraglio, It must be confessed his Turkish Majesty went off with a good Air, but, methought, we made but a fad Figure who waited without. This ingenious Gentlewoman, in this piece of Bawdry, refined upon an Author of the fame Sex, who, in the Rover, makes a Country Squire ftrip to his Holland Drawers. For Blunt is disappointed, and the Emperor is understood to go on to the utmost. The Pleasantry of Stripping almost Naked has been fince practised (where indeed it should have been begun) very successfully at Bartholomew Fair.