can prevail to fend us the Furniture you forbid at the Play-houfe, the Heroes appear only like sturdy Beggars, and the Heroins Gipfies. We have had but one Part which was performed and dreffed with Propriety, and that was Juftice Clodpate: This was fo well done that it offended Mr. Justice Overdo, who, in the midst of our whole Audience, was (like Quixote in the Puppet Show) fo highly provoked, that he told them, If they would move Compaffion, it fhould be in their own Perfons, and not in the Characters of diftreffed Princes and Potentates: He told them, If they were fo good at finding the way to Peoples Hearts, they fhould do it at the End of Bridges or Church- Porches, in their proper Vo⚫cation of Beggars. This, the Justice says, they must expect, fince they could not be contented to act Heathen Warriors, and fuch Fellows as Alexander, but must • prefume to make a Mockery of one of the Qurum. Your Servant.

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Thursday, April 26.

Hominem pagina nostra sapit.

Mart.

T is very natural for a Man who is not turned for Mirthful Meetings of Men, or Affemblies of the fair Sex, to delight in that fort of Converfation which we find in Coffee-houses. Here a Man, of my Temper, is in his Element; for if he cannot talk, he can ftill be more agreeable to his Company, as well as pleased in himself, in being only an Hearer. It is a Secret known but to few, yet of no fmall ufe in the Conduct of Life, that when you fall into a Man's Conversation, the firft thing you should confider is, whether he has a greater Inclination to hear you, or that you fhould hear him. The latter is the more general Defire, and I know very able Flatterers that never fpeak a Word in Praise of the Perfons from whom they obtain daily Favours, but ftill practise a skilful Attention to whatever is uttered by thofe with whom

whom they converfe. We are very Curious to obferve the Behaviour of great Men and their Clients; but the fame Paffions and Interefts move Men in lower Spheres ; and I (that have nothing else to do, but make Obfervations) fee in every Parish, Street, Lane, and Alley of this Populous City, a little Potentate that has his Court, and his Flatterers who lay Snares for his Affection and Favour, by the fame Arts that are practised upon Men in higher Stations.

IN the Place I moft ufually frequent, Men differ rather in the Time of Day in which they make■ Figure, than in any real Greatness above one another. I, who an at the Coffee-house at Six in a Morning, know that my Friend Beaver the Haberdasher has a Levy of more undiffembled Friends and Admirers, than most of the Courtiers or Generals in Great Britain. Every Man about him has, perhaps, a News-Paper in his Hand; but none can pretend to guess what Step will be taken in any one Court of Europe, 'till Mr. Beaver has thrown down his Pipe, and declares what Measures the Allies must enter into upon this new Pofture of Affairs. Our Coffee-house is near one of the Inns of Court, and Beaver has the Audience and Admiration of his Neighbours from Six 'till within a Quarter of Eight, at which time he is interrupted by the Students of the Houfe; fome of whom are ready drefs'd for Weftminster, at eight in a Morning, with Faces as bufie as if they were retained in every Cause there; and others come in their Night-Gowns to faunter away their Time, as if they never defigned to go thither. I do not know that I meet, in any of my Walks, Objects which move both my Spleen and Laughter fo effectually, as thofe Young Fellows at the Grecian, Squire's, Searle's, and all other Coffee-houses adjacent to the Law, who rise early for no other purpose but to publish their Laziness. One would think thefe young Virtuofo's take a gay Cap and Slippers, with a Scarf and Party-coloured Gown, to be Enfigns of Dignity; for the vain Things approach each other with an Air, which fhews they regard one another for their Vestments. I have obferved, that the Superiority among these proceeds from an Opinion of Gallantry and Fashion: The Gentleman in the Strawberry Safh, who prefides fo much over the reft, has, it feems, fub

fcribed

fcribed to every Opera this laft Winter, and is fuppofed to receive Favours from one of the Actreffes.

WHEN the Day grows too bufie for thefe Gentlemen to enjoy any longer the Pleafures of their Deshabilé, with any maner of Confidence, they give Place to Men who have Bufinefs or good Senfe in their Faces, and come to the Coffee-house either to transact Affairs or enjoy Converfation. The Perfons to whofe Behaviour and Discourse I have moft regard, are fuch as are between these two forts of Men: Such as have not Spirits too active to be happy and well pleafed in a private Condition, nor Complexions too warm to make them neglect the Duties and Relations of Life. Of thefe fort of Men confift the worthier Part of Mankind; of these are all good Fathers, generous Brothers, fincere Friends, and faithful Subjects. Their Entertainments are derived rather from Reafon than Imagination: Which is the Cause that there is no Impatience or Inftability in their Speech or Action. You fee in their Countenances they are at home, and in quiet Poffeffion of the prefent Inftant, as it pafles, without defiring to quicken it by gratifying any Paffion, or profecuting any new Defign. Thefe are the Men formed for Society, and thofe little Communities which we expreís by the Word Neighbourhoods.

THE Coffee-houfe is the Place of Rendezvous to all that live near it, who are thus turned to relish calm and ordinary Life. Eubulus prefides over the middle Hours of the Day, when this Affembly of Men meet together. He enjoys a great Fortune handfomely, without launching into Expence; and exerts many noble and useful Qualities, without appearing in any publick Employment. His Wifdom and Knowledge are ferviceable to all that think fit to make use of them; and he does the Office of a Coun cil, a Judge, an Executor, and a Friend to all his Acquaintance, not only without the Profits which attend fuch Offices, but also without the Deference and Homage which are ufually paid to them. The giving of Thanks is difpleafing to him. The greatest Gratitude you can fhew him, is to let him fee you are the better Man for his Services; and that you are as ready to oblige others, as he is to oblige you.

IN

IN the private Exigencies of his Friends he lends, at legal Value, confiderable Sums, which he might highly increase by rolling in the publick Stocks. He does not confider in whofe Hands his Money will improve most, but where it will do moft Good.

EUBULUS has fo great an Authority in his little Diurnal Audience, that when he shakes his Head at any Piece of publick News, they all of them appear dejected; and, on the contrary, go home to their Dinners with a good Stomach and chearful Afpe&t, when Eubulus feems to intimate that Things go well. Nay, their Veneration towards him is fo great, that when they are in other Company they speak and act after him; are Wife in his Sentences, and are no fooner fate down at their own Tables, but they hope or fear, rejoice or defpond as they faw him do at the Coffee-house. In a word, every Man is Eubulus as foon as his Back is turned.

HAVING here given an Account of the feveral Reigns that fucceed each other from Day-break till Dinner-time, I fhall mention the Monarchs of the Afternoon on another Occafion, and fhut up the whole Series of them with the Hiftory of Tom the Tyrant; who, as first Minifter of the Coffee-houfe, takes the Government upon him between the Hours of Eleven and Twelve at Night, and gives his Orders in the most Arbitrary manner to the Servants below him, as to the Difpofition of Liquors, Coal and Cinders.

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Juv.

HEN the four Indian Kings were in this Country about a Twelve-month ago, I often mixed with the Rabble, and followed them a whole Day together, being wonderfully ftruck with the Sight of every thing that is new or uncommon. I have, since their Departure, employed a Friend to make many Enquiries of VOL. I. I

their

their Landlord the Upholsterer, relating to their Manners and Conversation, as alfo concerning the Remarks which they made in this Country: For, next to the forming a right Notion of fuch Strangers, I fhould be defirous of learning what Ideas they have conceived of us.

THE Upholsterer finding my Friend very inquifitive about these his Lodgers, brought him fome time since a little Bundle of Papers, which he affured him were written by King Sa Ga Yean Qua Rafh Tow, and, as he fuppofes, left behind by fome Miftake. These Papers are now tranflated, and contain abundance of very odd Obfervations, which I find this little Fraternity of Kings made during their Stay in the Ifle of Great Britain, I fhall prefent my Reader with a fhort Specimen of them in this Paper, and may perhaps communicate more to him hereafter. In the Article of London are the following Words, which without doubt are meant of the Church of St. Paul.

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ON the most rifing Part of the Town there ftands a huge Houfe, big enough to contain the whole Nation of which I am King. Our good Brother E Tow O Koam, King of the Rivers, is of Opinion it was made by the Hands of that great God to whom it is confecrated. The Kings of Granajah and of the Six Nations believe that it was created with the Earth, and produced on the fame Day with the Sun and Moon. But for my own Part, by the best Information that I could get of this Matter, I am apt to think that this prodigious Pile was fashioned into the Shape it now bears by feveral Tools and Inftruments, of which they have a wonderful Variety in this Country. It was probably at first an huge mis-shapen Rock that grew upon the Top of the Hill, which the Natives of the Country (after having cut it into a kind of regular Figure), bored and hollowed with incredible Pains and Induftry, till they had wrought in it all those beautiful Vaults and Caverns into which it is divided at this Day. As foon as this Rock was thus curiously fcooped to their liking, a prodigious Number of Hands muft have been employed in chipping the Out-fide of it, which is now as fmooth as the Surface of a Pebble; and is in feveral Places hewn out into Pillars that ftand like the Trunks of fo many Trees bound about the Top with Garlands