but fmall Talents, he must be merry where he can, not where he should. Fourthly, BEING intirely void of Reason, he pursues no Point either of Morality or Instruction, but is Ludicrous only for the fake of being fo. Fifthly, BEING incapable of any thing but MockRepresentations, his Ridicule is always Perfonal, and aimed at the vicious Man, or the Writer; not at the Vice, or at the Writing. I have here only pointed at the whole Species of False Humourists; but as one of my principal Designs in this Paper is to beat down that malignant Spirit, which difcovers it felf in the Writings of the prefent Age, I fhall net fcruple, for the future, to fingle out any of the fmall Wits, that infeft the World with fuch Compofitions as are ill-natured, immoral, and abfurd. This is the only Exception which I fhall make to the general Rule I have prefcribed my felf, of attacking Multitudes: Since every honeft Man ought to look upon himself as in a natural State of War with the Libeller and Lampooner, and to annoy them where-ever they fall in his way. This is but retaliating upon them, and treating them as they treat others. C N 36. Wednesday, April 11. •Immania menftra Perferimus Virg. I Shall not put my felf to any further Pains for this Day's Entertainment, than barely to publish the Letters and Titles of Petitions from the Play-houfe, with the Minutes I have made upon the Latter for my Conduct in relation to them. Drury-lane, April the 9th. UP PON reading the Project which is fet forth in one of your late Papers, of making an Alliance between all the Bulls, Bears, Elephants, and Lions, which are separately expofed to publick View in the Cities of London and Westminster, together with the other Wonders, Shows and Monsters, whereof you made respective Mention in the said Speculation; We, the chief 'Actors of this Play-houfe, met and fate upon the faid Defign. It is with great Delight that we expect the 'Execution of this Work; and in order to contribute to it, we have given Warning to all our Ghosts to get their Livelihoods where they can, and not to appear among us after Day-break of the 16th Inftant. We are refolved to take this Opportunity to part with every thing which does not contribute to the Reprefentation of humane Life; and fhall make free Gift of all animated Utenfils to your Projector. The Hangings you formerly mentioned are run away; as are likewife a Sett of Chairs, each of which was met upon two Legs going through the Rofe Tavern at Two this Morning. We We hope, Sir, you will give proper Notice to the Town * that we are endeavouring at these Regulations; and that we intend for the future to fhow no Monsters, but Men who are converted into such by their own Induftry and Affectation. If you will please to be at the Houfe to-night, you will fee me do my Endeavour to fhew fome unnatural Appearances which are in vogue among the Polite and Well-bred. I am to reprefent, in the Character of a fine Lady dancing, all the Distortions which are frequently taken for Graces in Mein and Gefture. This, Sir, is a Specimen of the Method we fhall take to expose the Monsters which come within the Notice of a regular Theatre; and we defire nothing more grofs may be admitted by you Spectators for the future. We have cafhiered three Companies of Theatrical Guards, and defign our Kings fhall for the 'future make Love, and fit in Council, without an Army; and wait only your Direction, whether you will have them reinforce King Porus, or join the Troops of Macedon. Mr. Pinkethman refolves to confult his Pantheon of Heathen Gods in Oppofition to the Oracle of Delphos, and doubts not but he fhall turn the Fortunes of Porus, when he perfonates him. I am defired by the Company to inform you, that they fubmit to your Cenfures; and fhall have you in greater Veneration than • Hercules • Hercules was in of old, if you can drive Monsters from the Theatre; and think your Merit will be as much greater than his, as to convince is more than to con quer. 'SIR, I am, SIR, Your most obedient Servant, T.D. HEN I acquaint you with the great and unex I but I fhall obtain your Pity and Favour. I have for many Years laft paft been Thunderer to the Playhoufe; and have not only made as much Noise out of f the Clouds as any Predeceffor of mine in the Theatre that ever bore that Character, but also have defcended and fpoke on the Stage as the bold Thunder in the Re• hear fal. When they got me down thus low, they thought fit to degrade me further, and make me a Ghoft. I was contented with this for these two laft Winters; but they carry their Tyranny ftill further, and not fatisfied that I am banished from above Ground, they have given me to understand that I am wholly to depart their Dominions, and take from me even my fubterraneous Employment. Now, Sir, what I defire of you is, that if your Undertaker thinks fit to ufe FireArms, (as other Authors have done) in the Time of Alexander, I may be a Canon against Porus, or else provide for me in the Burning of Persepolis, or what other Method you shall think fit. Salmoneus of Covent-Garden. THE Petition of all the Devils of the Play-houfe in behalf of themselves and Families, fetting forth their Expulfion from thence, with Certificates of their good Life and Converfation, and praying Relief. The Merit of this Petition referred to Mr. Chr. Rich, who made them Devils. THE Petition of the Grave-digger in Hamlet, to command the Pioneers in the Expedition of Alexander. Granted, THE THE Petition of William Bullock, to be Hepheftion to Pinkethman the Great. Granted. ADVERTISEMENT. A Widow Gentlewoman, well born both by Father and Mother's Side, being the Daughter of Thomas Prater, once an eminent Practitioner in the Law, and of Letitia Tattle, a Family well known in all Parts of this Kingdom, having been reduced by Misfortunes to wait on feveral great Perfons, and for fome time to be Teacher at a Boarding-School of young Ladies; giveth Notice to the Publick, That she hath lately taken a House near Bloomsbury-Square, commodiously fituated next the Fields in a good Air; where she teaches all Sorts of Birds of the loquacious Kind, as Parrots, Starlings, Magpies, and others, to imitate human voices in greater Perfection than ever yet was practifed. They are not only inftructed to pronounce Words diftinctly, and in a proper Tone and Accent, but to speak the Language with great Purity and Volubility of Tongue, together with all the faShionable Phrafes and Compliments now in ufe either at Tea-Tables or vifiting Days. Thofe that have good Voices may be taught to fing the newest Opera-Airs, and, if required, to fpeak either Italian or French, paying fomething extraordinary above the common Rates. They whofe Friends are not able to pay the full Prices, may be taken as Halfboarders. She teaches fuch as are defigned for the Diverfion of the Publick, and to act in enchanted Woods on the Theatres, by the Great. As she has often obferved with much Concern how indecent an Education is ufually given thefe innocent Creatures, which in fome Meafure is owing to their being placed in Rooms next the Street, where, to the great Offence of chafte and tender Ears, they learn Ribaldry, obfrene Songs, and immodeft Expreffions from Paffengers and idle People, as alfo to cry Fish and Card-matches, with other ufelefs Parts of Learning to Birds who have rich Friends, he has fitted up proper and neat Apartments for them in the back Part of her faid Houfe; where the fuffers none to approach them but her felf, and a Servant-Maid who is deaf and dumb, and whom she provided on purpose to prepare their Food and cleanfe their Cages; having found by long Experience how hard a thing it is for thofe to keep Silence Silence who have the Ufe of Speech, and the Dangers her Scholars are expofed to by the strong Impressions that are made by barsh Sounds and vulgar Dialects. In short, if they are Birds of any Parts or Capacity, he will undertake to render them fo accomplished in the Compafs of a Twelve-month, that they fhall be fit Converfation for fuch Ladies as love to chufe their Friends and Companions out of this Species. R No 37. Thursday, April 12. -Non illa colo calathifve Minerva She Virg. Ac OME Months ago, my Friend Sir ROGER being in the Country, enclosed a Letter to me, directed to a certain Lady whom I fhall here call by the Name of Leonora, and as it contained Matters of Confequence, defired me to deliver it to her with my own Hand. cordingly I waited upon her Lady fhip pretty early in the Morning, and was defired by her Woman to walk into her Lady's Library, till fuch time as fhe was in a Readinefs to receive me. The very Sound of a Lady's Library gave me a great Curiofity to fee it; and, as it was fome time before the Lady came to me, I had an Opportunity of turning over a great many of her Books, which were ranged together in a very beautiful Order. At the End of the Folio's (which were finely bound and gilt) were great Jars of China placed one above another in a very noble Piece of Architecture. The Quarto's were feparated from the Octave's by a Pile of fmaller Veffels, which rofe in a delightful Pyramid. The Octavo's were bounded by Tea-Dilhes of all Shapes, Colours and Sizes, which were fo difpofed on a wooden Frame, that they looked like one continued Pillar indented with the finest Strokes of Sculpture, and ftained with the greatest Variety of Dyes. That Part of the Library which was defigned for the Reception of Plays and Pamphlets, and other loofe Papers, was enclosed in a kind of Square, conLifting of one of the prettiest Grotefque Works that ever I |