Friend, fays he, attack every one that deferves it: I would only advise you, Mr. SPECTATOR, applying. himself to me, to take Care how you meddle with Coun try Squires: They are the Ornaments of the English Nation; Men of Good Heads and found. Bodies! and let me tell you, fome of them take it ill of you, that you men tion Fox-hunters with fo little Refpect. CAPTAIN SENTRY fpoke very fparingly on this Occafion. What he said was only to commend my Pru dence in not touching upon the Army, and advifed me to continue to act difcreetly in that Point, BY this time I found every Subject of my Speculati ons was taken away from me, by one or other of the Club; and began to think my felf in the Condition of the good Man that had one Wife who took a Diflike to his grey Hairs, and another to his black, till by their picking out what each of them had an Averfion to, they left his Head altogether bald and naked. WHILE I was thus mufing with my felf, my wor thy Friend the Clergyman, who, very luckily for me, was at the Club that Night, undertook my Caufe. He told us, that he wondered any Order of Perfons should think themselves too confiderable to be advifed: That it was not Quality, but Innocence, which exempted Men from Reproof: That Vice and Folly ought to be attack ed where-ever they could be met with, and especially when they were placed in high and confpicuous Stations of Life. He further added; That my Paper would only ferve to aggravate the Pains of Poverty, if it chiefly ex pofed those who are already depreffed, and in fome meafure turned into Ridicule, by the Meannefs of their Conditions and Circumftances. He afterwards proceeded to take Notice of the great Ufe this Paper might be of to the Publick, by reprehending thofe Vices which are too trivial for the Chastisement of the Law, and too fantastical for the Cognizance of the Pulpit. He then advised me to profecute my Undertaking with Chearfulness, and affured me, that whoever might be difpleafed with me, I fhould be approved by all thofe whofe Praises do Honour to the Perfons on whom they are bestowed. THE whole Club pays a particular Deference to the Difcourfe of this Gentleman, and are drawn into whatt he: he fays, as much by the 'candid ingenious Manner with which he delivers himself, as by the Strength of Argument and Force of Reafon which he makes use of. WILL. HONEYCOMB immediately agreed, that what he had faid was right; and that for his Part, he would not infift upon the Quarter which he had demanded for the Ladies. Sir ANDREW gave up the City with the fame Franknefs. The TEMPLER would not ftand out; and was followed by Sir ROGER and the CAPTAIN: Who all agreed that I fhould be at Liberty to carry the War into what Quarter I pleased; provided I continued to combat with Criminals in a Body, and to affault the Vice without hurting the Perfon. THIS Debate, which was held for the Good of Mankind, put me in mind of that which the Roman Triumvirate were formerly engaged in, for their Deftrution. Every Man at firft ftood hard for his Friend, till they found that by this Means they should spoil their Profeription: And at length, making a Sacrifice of all their Acquaintance and Relations, furnished out a very decent Execution. HAVING thus taken my Refolutions to march on boldly in the Caufe of Virtue and good Senfe, and to annoy their Adverfaries in whatever Degree or Rank of Men they may be found: I fhall be deaf for the future to all the Remonftrances that fhall be made to me on this Account. If Funch grows extravagant, I fhall repri mand him very freely: If the Stage becomes a Nursery of Folly and Impertinence, I fhall not be afraid to animadvert upon it. In fhort, if I meet with any thing in City, Court, or Country, that fhocks Modefty or good Man, ners, I fhall ufe my utmoft Endeavours to make an Example of it. I muft however intreat every particular Perfon, who does me the Honour to be a Reader of this Paper, never to think himself, or any one of his Friends or Enemies, aimed at in what is faid: For I promise him, never to draw a Faulty Character which does not fit at leaft a Thousand People; or to publish a single Paper, that is not written in the Spirit of Benevolence, and with a Love to Mankind. C Tuesday, N° 35. A Tuesday, April 10. Rifu inepto res ineptior nulla eft. Mart. MONG all kinds of. Writing, there is none in which Authors are more apt to miscarry than in Works of Humour, as there is none in which they are more ambitious to excel. It is not an Imagination that teems with Monsters, an Head that is filled with extravagant Conceptions, which is capable of furnishing the World with Diverfions of this nature; and yet if we look into the Production of feveral Writers, who fet up for Men of Humour, what wild irregular Fancies, what unnatural Distortions of Thought, do we meet with? If they speak Nonfenfe, they believe they are talking Humour; and when they have drawn together a Scheme of abfurd inconfiftent Ideas, they are not able to read it over to themselves without laughing. These poor Gentlemen endeavour to gain themfelves the Reputation of Wits and Humourifts, by fuch monftrous Conceits as almoft qualifie them for Bedlam; not confidering that Humour should always lie under the Check of Reafon, and that it requires the Direction of the niceft Judgment, by fo much the more as it indulges it felf in the most boundlefs Freedoms. There is a kind of Nature that is to be obferved in this fort of Compofitions, as well as in all other; and a certain Regularity of Thought which must discover the Writer to be a Man of Sense, at the fame time that he appears altogether given up to Caprice. For my part, when I read the delirious Mirth of an unskilful Author, I cannot be fo barbarous as to divert my felf with it, but am rather apt to pity the Man, than to laugh at any thing he writes. THE deceased Mr. Shadwell, who had himself a great deal of the Talent which I am treating of, reprefents an empty Rake, in one of his Plays, as very much furprized to hear one fay that breaking of Windows was not Hu mour mour; and I queftion not but feveral English Readers will be as much startled to hear me affirm, that many of those raving incoherent Pieces, which are often spread among us, under odd Chymerical Titles, are rather the Offsprings of a Diftempered Brain, than Works of Humour. IT is indeed much easier to defcribe what is not Humour, than what is; and very difficult to define it otherwife than as Cowley has done Wit, by Negatives. Were I to give my own Notions of it, I would deliver them after Plato's manner, in a kind of Allegory, and by fuppofing Humour to be a Perfon, deduce to him all his Qualifications, according to the following Genealogy. TRUTH Was the Founder of the Family, and the Father of GOOD SENSE. GOOD SENSE Was the Father of WIT, who married a Lady of a Collateral Line called MIRTH, by whom he had Iffue HUMOUR. HUMOUR therefore being the youngest of this Illuftrious Family, and defcended from Parents of fuch different Difpofitions, is very various and unequal in his Temper; fometimes you fee him putting on grave Looks and a folemn Habit, fometimes airy in his Behaviour and fantastick in his Drefs: Infomuch that at different times he appears as ferious as a Judge, and as jocular as a Merry-Andrew. But as he has a great deal of the Mother in his Conftitution, whatever Mood he is in, he never fails to make his Company laugh. BUT fince there is an Impoftor abroad, who takes upon him the Name of this young Gentleman, and would willingly pafs for him in the World; to the end that well-meaning Perfons may not be impofed upon by Cheats, I would defire my Readers, when they meet with this Pretender, to look into his Parentage, and to examine him strictly, whether or no he be remotely allied to TRUTH, and lineally defcended from GooD SENSE; if not, they may conclude him a Counterfeit. They may likewife diftinguifh him by a loud and exceffive Laughter, in which he feldom gets his Company to join with him. For as TRUE HUMOUR generally looks ferious, while every Body laughs about him; FALSE HUMOUR is always laughing, whilft every Body about him looks ferious. I fhall only add, if he has not in him a Mixture of both Parents, that is, if he would pafs for the Offspring Offspring of WIT without MIRTH, or MIRTH without WIT, you may conclude him to be altogether Spurious, and a Cheat. THE Impoftor of whom I am fpeaking, defcends Originally from FALSEHOOD, who was the Mother of NONSENSE, who was brought to Bed of a Son called FRENZY, who married one of the Daughters of FOLLY, commonly known by the Name of LAUGHTER, on whom he begot that Monftrous Infant of which I have been here fpeaking. I fhall fet down at length the Genealogical Table of FALSE HUMOUR, and, at the same time, place under it the Genealogy of TRUE HUMOUR, that the Reader may at one View behold their different Pedigrees and Relations. FALSEHOOD. NONSENSE. FRENZY LAUGHTER. FALSE HUMOUR. TRUTH. GOOD SENSE. I might extend the Allegory, by mentioning feveral of the Children of FALSE HUMOUR, who are more in Number than the Sands of the Sea, and might in parti cular enumerate the many Sons and Daughters which he has begot in this Ifland. But as this would be a very invidious Task, I fhall only obferve in general, that FALSE HUMOUR differs from the TRUE, as a Monkey does from a Man. First of all, HE is exceedingly given to little Apish Tricks and Buffooneries. Secondly, HE fo much delights in Mimickry, that it is all one to him whether he expofes by it Vice and Folly, Luxury and Avarice; or, on the contrary, Virtue and Wifdom,. Pain and Poverty. Thirdly, HE is wonderfully unlucky, infomuch thathe will bite the Hand that feeds him, and endeavour to ridicule both Friends and Foes indifferently. For having but |