No. 92. 66 JUNE 26, 1713. Homunculi quanti funt, cum recogito! You TO NESTOR IRONSIDE, Efq; PLAUT. OU are now acquainted with the nature and defign of our inftitution; the character of the members, and the topics of our converfation, are what remain for the fubject of this epistle. The most eminent perfons of our affembly are a little poet, a little lover, a little politician, and a little hero. The first of thefe, Dick Diftich by name, we have elected prefident: not only as he is the shortest of us all, but because he has enter tained so just a sense of his ftature, as to go generally in black, that he may appear yet lefs. Nay, to that perfection is he arrived, that he ftoops as he walks. The figure of the man is odd enough; he is a lively little creature, with long arms and legs: A fpider is no ill emblem of him. He has been taken at a distance for a fmall windmill. But indeed what principally moved us in his favour was his talent in poetry, for he hath promised to undertake a long work in short verfe to celebrate the heroes of our fize. He has entertained fo great a refpect for Statius, on the score of that line, Major in exiguo regnabat corpore virtus, that that he once defigned to tranflate the whole Thebaid, for the fake of little l'ydeus. Tom Tiptoe, a dapper black fellow, is the most gallant lover of the age. He is particularly nice in his habiliments; and to the end juftice may be done him that way, conftantly employs the fame artist who makes attire for the neighbouring princes and ladies of quality at Mr Powel's. The vivacity of his temper inclines him sometimes to boast of the favours of the fair. He was the other night excufing his abfence from the club, on account of an affignation with a lady, (and, as he had the vanity to tell us, a tall one too), who had confented to the full accomplishment of his defires that evening: But one of the company, who was his confident, affured us fhe was a woman of humour, and made the agreement on this condition, that his toe fhould be tied to hers. Our politician is a person of real gravity, and profeffed wifdom: Gravity in a man of this fize, compared with that of one of ordinary bulk, appears like the gravity of a cat compared with that of a lion. This gentleman is accustomed to talk to himself, and was once overheard to compare his own perfon to a little cabinet, wherein are locked up all the fecrets of flate, and refined schemes of princes. His face is pale and meagre, which proceeds from much watching and ftudying for the welfare of Europe, which is also thought to have ftinted his growth: For he hath deftroyed his own cnftitution with taking care of that of the nation. He is w at Monf. Balzac calls, a great distiller of the maxims of Tacitus: When he speaks, it is flowly, and word by word, as one that is loath to enrich enrich you too fast with his observations'; like a limbec that gives you, drop by drop, an extract of the little that is in it. The last I fhall mention is Tim. Tuck, the heTO. He is particularly remarkable for the length of his fword, which intersects his perfon in a cross line, and makes him appear not unlike a fly that the boys have run a pin through, and fet a walking. He once challenged a tall fellow for giving him a blow on the pate with his elbow, as he patfed along on the ftreet. But what he especially values himself upon, is, in all the campaigns he has made, he never once ducked at the whizz of a cannon-ball. Tim, was full as large at fourteen years old as he is now. This we are tender of mentioning, your little heroes being generally choleric. Thefe are the gentlemen that most enliven our converfation. The difcourfe generally turns upon fuch accidents, whether fortunate or unfortunate, as are daily occafioned by our fize: These we faithfully communicate, either as a matter of mirth, or of confolation to each other. The prefident had lately an unlucky fall, being unable to keep his legs on a flormy day; whereupon he informed us it was no new difafter, but the fame a certain ancient poet had been subject too; who is recorded to have been fo light, that he was obliged to poife himself against the wind, with lead on one fide, and his own works on the other. The lover confeffed the other night, that he had been cured of love to a tall woman, by reading over the legend of Ragotine in Scarron, with his tea, three mornings fucceffively. Our hero rarely acquaints us with any of his unfuccessful adventures: And VOL. V. M as for the politician, he declares himself an utter enemy to all kind of burlesque, fo will never dif compofe the aufterity of his afpect by laughing at our adventures, much less discover any of his own in this ludicrous light. Whatever he tells of any accidents that befal him, is by way of complaint, nor is he ever laughed at but in his abfence. We are likewife particularly careful to communicate in the club all fuch paffages of history, or characters of illustrious perfonages, as any way reflect honour on little men. Tim. Tuck having but juft reading enough for a military man, perpetually entertains us with the fame ftories, of little David that conquered the mighty Goliath, and little Luxembourg that made Lewis XIV. a grand monarque, never forgetting little Alexander the Great. Dick Ditich celebrates the exceeding humanity of Auguftus, who called Horace lepidiffimum homunciolum; and is wonderfully pleafed with Voiture and Scarron, for having fo well defcribed their diminutive forms to pofterity. He is peremptorily of opinion, against a great reader and all his adherents, that fop was not a jot properer or handfomer than he is reprefented by the common pictures. But the foldier believes with the learned perfon above mentioned; for he thinks none but an impudent tall author could be guilty of fuch an unmannerly piece of fatire on little warriors, as his battle of the mouse and the frog. The politician is very proud of a certain king of Egypt called Bocchor, who, as Diodorus affures us, was a perfon of a very low ftature, but far exceeded all that went before him in difcretion and politics. As I am fecretary to the club, it is my bufi nefs, nefs, whenever we meet, to take minutes of the tranfactions: This has enabled me to fend you the foregoing particulars, as I may hereafter other memoirs. We have fpies appointed in every quarter of the town, to give us informations of the misbehaviour of fuch refractory perfons as refufe to be fubject to our ftatutes. What foever afpiring practices any of thefe our people fhall be guilty of in their amours; fingle combats, or any indirect means to manhood, we shall certainly be acquainted with, and publish to the world, for their punishment and reformation. For the prefident has granted me the fole propriety of expofing and fhewing to the town all fuch intractable dwarfs, whofe circumftances exempt them from being carried about in boxes; referving only to himic, as the right of a poet, those smart characters that will shine in epigrams. Venerable Neftor, I falute you in the hame of the club. BOB. SHORT, Secretary.» No. 173. I SEPTEMBER 29, 1713. ---------Nec fera commantem Narciffum, aut flexi tacuiffem vimen Acanthi, VIRG. LATELY took a particular friend of mine to my house in the country, not without fome apprehenfion, that it could afford little entertainment |