1

paffion. The adder, however, prepared to fting
him, and when he expoftulated how unjust
it was to retaliate good with evil, I fhall do no
more (faid the adder) than what you men practife
every day, whofe cuftom it is to requite benefits
with ingratitude. If you can deny this truth, let
us refer it to the first we meet. The man confent-
ed, and feeing a tree, put the question to it, in
what manner a good turn was to be recompenfed?
If you mean according to the usage of men, (re-)
plied the tree), by its contrary. I have been
ftanding here these hundred years to protect them
from the fcorching fun, and in requital they have
cut down my branches, and are going to faw my
body into planks. Upon this the adder infulting
the man, he appealed to a fecond evidence, which
was granted, and immediately they met a cow.
The fame demand was made, and much the fame
anfwer given, that among men it was certainly fo:
I know it (faid the cow) by woeful experience;
for I have ferved a man this long time with milk,
butter, and cheese, and brought him befides a calf
every year, but now I am old, he turns me into
this pasture, with defign to fell me to a butcher,
who will fhortly make an end of me.
The tra-
veller upon this ftood confounded, but defired of
courtesy one trial more, to be finally judged by
the next beast they fhould meet. This happened
to be the fox, who, upon hearing the ftory in all
its circumstances, could not be perfuaded it was
poffible for the adder to get into fo narrow a bag.
The adder to convince him, went in again; the
fox told the man he had now his enemy in his
power; and with that he fastened the bag, and
crushed him to pieces.
No. 91.

I

---Ineft fua gratia parvis.

“SIR,

TO NESTOR IRONSIDE, Efq;

VIRG.

REMEMBER a faying of yours concerning perfons in low circumftances of ftature, that their littleness would hardly be taken notice of, if they did not manifeft a consciousness of it themfelves in all their behaviour. Indeed the obferva tion that no man is ridiculous for being what he is, but only for the affectation of being fomething more, is equally true in regard to the mind and the body.

I queftion not but it will be pleafing to you to hear that a fet of us have formed a fociety, who are fworn to dare to be short, and boldly bear out the dignity of littlenefs under the noses of thofe enormous ingroffers of manhood, thofe hyberbolical monsters of the fpecies, the tall fellows that overlook us.

The day of our inftitution was the tenth of December, being the shortest of the year, on which are to hold an annual feaft over a difh of

we

fhrimps.

The place we have chofen for this meeting is in the Little Piazza, not without an eye to the neighbourhood of Mr Powel's opera, for the performers of which we have, as becomes us, a brotherly affection.

At

1.

At our first refort hither, an old woman brought her fon to the club-room, defiring he might be educated in this school, because the faw here were finer boys than ordinary. However, this accident no way difcouraged our defigns. We began with fending invitations to thofe of a stature not exceeding five feet, to repair to our affembly; but the greater part returned excufes, or pretended they were not qualified.

One faid, he was indeed but five feet at prefent, but reprefented that he fhould foon exceed that proportion, his periwigmaker and fhoemaker ha+ ving lately promised him three inches more be twixt them.

Another alledged he was fo unfortunate as to have one leg fhorter than the other, and whoever had determined his ftature to five feet, had taken him at a disadvantage; for when he was mounted on the other leg, he was at least five feet two inches and a half.

There were fome who queftioned the exactness of our measures, and others, instead of complying, returned us information of people yet fhorter than themselves. In a word, almost every one recom mended fome neighbour or acquaintance, whom he was willing we thould look upon to be less than he. We were not a little ashamed that those who are paft the years of growth, and whose beards pronounce them men, should be guilty of as many unfair tricks, in this point, as the moft afpiring children when they are measured.

We therefore proceed to fit up the club-room, and provide conveniencies for our accommodation. In the first place, we caused a total removal of all

the

the chairs, ftools, and tables, which had ferved the grofs of mankind for many years.

The disadvantages we had undergone while we made ufe of thefe were unfpeakable. The prefident's whole body was funk in the elbow-chair, and when his arms were fpread over it, he appeared (to the great leffening of his dignity) like a child in a go-cart: It was alfo fo wide in the feat, as to give a wag occafion of faying, that, notwithftanding the prefident fat in it, there was a fede

vacante.

The table was fo high, that one who came by chance to the door, feeing our chins just above the pewter dishes, took us for a circle of men that fat ready to be shaved, and fent in half a dozen barbers.

Another time one of the club fpoke in a ludicrous manner of the prefident, imagining he had been abfent, when he was only eclipfed by a flask of Florence, which stood on the table in a parallel line before his face.

We therefore new furnished the room in all refpects proportionable to us; and had the door. made lower, fo as to admit no man of above five feet high without brushing his foretop, which whoever does, is utterly unqualified to fit among us."

Some of the flatutes of the club are as follow.

I. If it be proved upon any member, though never fo duly qualified, that he ftrives as much as poffible to get above his fize, by ftretching, cocking, or the like; or that he hath stood on tip toe, in a crowd, with defign to be taken for as tall a

man

man as the reft; or hath privily conveyed any large book, cricket, or other device under him to exalt him on his feat. Every fuch offender fhall be fentenced to walk in pumps for a whole month.

II. If any member fhall take advantage from the fulness or length of his wig, or any part of his drefs, or the immoderate extent of his hat, or otherwise, to feem larger or higher than he is, it is ordered, he shall wear red heels to his fhoes, and a red feather in his hat; which may apparently mark and fet bounds to the extremities of his fmall dimenfion, that all people may readily find him out between his hat and his fhoes.

III. If any member shall purchase a horse for his own riding, above fourteen hands and a half in height; that horfe fhall forthwith be fold, a Scotch galloway bought in its stead for him, and the overplus of the money shall treat the club.

IV. If any member, in direct contradiction to the fundamental laws of the fociety, fhall wear the heels of his fhoes exceeding one inch and a half; it shall be interpreted as an open renunciation of littlenefs, and the criminal fhall inftantly be expelled. Note, The form to be used in expelling a member fhall be in thefe words; Go from among us, and be tall if you can!"

It is the unanimous opinion of our whole fociety, that fince the race of mankind is granted to have decreased in ftature, from the beginning to this prefent, it is the intent of nature itself, that men should be little; and we believe, that all human kind fhall at laft grow down to perfection, that is to say, be reduced to our own measure."

No. 92.