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by the learned. They are neither missed in news. A dish of twist. Grand vizier stranthe common-wealth, nor lamented by private gled. persons. Their actions are of no significancy From six to ton. At the club. Mr. Nisby's to mankind, and might have been performed account of the great Turk. by creatures of much less dignity than those Ten. Dream of the grand vizier. Broken who are distinguised by the faculty of reason. sleep. An eminent French author speaks somewhere to the following purpose : I have often seen
WEDNESDAY, eight o'clock. Tongue of my from my chamber window two noble creatures, shoe-buckle broke. Hands but not face. both of them of an erect countenance and
Nine. Paid off the butcher's bill. Mem. endowed with reason. These two intellectual to be allowed for the last leg of mutton. beings are employed from morning to night
Ten, eleven. At the Coffee-house. More in rubbing two smooth stones one upon ano- work in the north. Stranger in a black wig ther; that is, as the vulgar phrase is, in po
asked me how stocks went. lishing marble.
From twelve to one. Walked in the fields.
Wind to the south. My friend, Sir Andrew Freeport, as we were
From one to two. sitting in the club last night, gave us an ac
Smoked a pipe and a
half. count of a sober citizen, who died a few days since. This honest man being of greater con
Two. Dined as usual. Stomach good. sequence in his own thoughts than in the eye
Three. Nap broke by the falling of a of the world, had for some years past kept a pewter dish. Mem. cook-maid in love, and journal of his life. Sir Andrew showed us one
grown careless. Since the occurrences set down
From four to six. week of it.
At the coffee-house. in it mark out such a road of action as that Advice from Smyrna that the grand vizier I have been speaking of, I shall present my was first of all strangled, and afterwards be
headed. reader with a faithful copy of it; after having first informed him, that the deceased persons
Six o'clock in the evening. Was half an had in his youth been bred to trade, but find-hour in the club before any body else came. ing himself not so well turned for business, Mr. Nisby of opinion that the grand vizier he had for several years last past lived altoge
was not strangled the sixth instant. ther upon a moderate annuity.*
Ten at night. Went to bed. Slept with
out waking until nine the next inorning. MONDAY, eight o'clock.
I put on my clothes, and walked into the parlour.
THURSDAY, nine o'clock. Staid within un. Nine o'clock ditto. Tied my knee-strings,
til two o'clock for Sir Timothy ; who did not and washed my hands.
bring me my annuity according to his pro
mise. Hours ten, eleven, and twelve. Smoked three pipes of Virginia. Read the Supplement
Two in the afternoon. Sat down to din. and Daily Courant. Things go ill in the
Loss of appetite. Small-beer sour. north. Mr. Nisby's opinion thereupon.
Beef over-corned. One o'clock in the afternoon. Chid Ralph
Three. Could not take my nap. for mislaying my tobacco-box.
Four and five. Gave Ralph a box on the Two o'clock. Sat down to dinner. Mem. ear. Turned off my cook-maid. Sent a mesToo many plumbs, and no suet.
senger to Sir Timothy. Mem. I did not go From three to four. Took my afternoon's
to the club to night. Went to bed at nine
From four to six. Walked into the fields. Wind S. S. E.
Friday. Passed the morning in meditation From six to ten. At the Club. Mr. Nisby's before twelve.
upon Sir Timothy, who was with me a quarter opinion about the peace.
Twelve o'clock. Bought a new head to Ten o'clock. .Went to bed, slept sound.
my cane, and a tongue to my buckle. Drank Tuesday, being holiday, eight fo'clock, rose
a glass of purl to recover appetite. as usual.
Two and three. Dined and slept well. Nine o'clock. Washed hands and face, Met Mr. Nisby there. Smoked several pipes:
From four to six. Went to the coffee-house, shaved, put on my double-soled shoes. Ten, eleven, twelve. Took a walk to
Mr. Nisby of opinion that laced coffee is bad Islington.
for the head. One. Took a pot of Mother Cob's mild.
Six o'clock. At the club as steward. Sat Between two and three. Returned,
dined on a knuckle of veal and bacon.
Twelve o'clock. Went to bed, dreamt that
Mem. sprouts wanting:
I drank small beer with the grand vizier. Three. Nap as usual.
SATURDAY. Waked at eleven, walked in the From four to six. Coffee-house Read the fields, wind N. E.
Twelve. Caught in a shower. * It has been conjectured that this journal was intend
One in the afternoon. Returned home and ed to ridicule a gentleman who was a member of the con-dried myself. gregation named Independents, where a Mr. Nesbit officiated as minister. See John Dunton's acconnt of his
Two. Mr. Nisby dined with me. First Life, Errors, and Opinions.
course, marrow-bones ; second, ox-cheek, with a bottle of Brooks and Hellier.
Three. Overslept myself.
that he thought it would be an endless reproach Six. Went to the club. Like to have fallen to him to make no use of a familiarity he was into a gutter. Grand vizier certainly dead, allowed at a gentleman's house, whose good &c.
humour and confidence exposed his wife to the I question not but the reader will be sur- addresses of any who should take it in their prised to find the above-mentioned journalist head to do him the good office. It is not imtaking so much care of a life that was filled possible that Escalus might also resent that with such inconsiderable actions, and receiv- the husband was particularly negligent of him; ed so very small improvements; and yet, if we and though he gave many intimations of a look into the behaviour of many whom we passion towards the wife, the husband either daily converse with, we shall find that most did not see them, or put him to the contempt of their hours are takeu up in those three im- of overlooking them. In the mean time Isabelportant articles of eating, drinking, and sleep-la, for so we shall call our heroine, saw his ing. I do not suppose that a man loses his passion, and rejoiced it, as a foundation for in time, who is not engaged in public affairs, or much diversion, and an opportunity of indulgin an illustrious course of action. On the con
ing herself in the dear delight of being admirtrary, I believe our hours may very often be ed, addressed to, and flattered, with no mi more profitably laid out in such transactions consequence to her reputation. This lady is as make no figure in the world, than in such of a free and disengaged behaviour, ever in as are apt to draw upon them the attention of good-humour, such as is the image of innomankind. One may become wiser and better cence with those who are innocent, and an en. by several methods of employing one's self couragement to vice with those who are abanin secrecy and silence, and do what is lauda- doned. From this kind of carriage, and an ble without noise or ostentation. I would, apparent approbation of his gallantry, Escalus however,' recommend to every one of my rea
had frequent opportunities of laying amorous ders, the keeping a journal of their lives for epistles in her way, of fixing his eyes attenone week, and setting down punctually their tively upon her actions, of performing a thouwhole series of employments during that space sand little offices which are neglected by the of time. This kind of self-examination would unconcerned, but are so many approaches give them a true taste of themselves, and in- towards happiness with the enamoured. It cline them to consider seriously what they are was now, as is above hinted, almost the end of about. One day would rectify the omissions the seventh year of his passion, when Escalus, of another, and make a man weigh all those from general terms, and the ambiguous reindifferent actions, which, though they are spect which criminal lovers retain in their ad easily forgotten, must certainly be accounted dresses, began to bewail that his passion grew for.
too violent for him to answer any longer for his behaviour towards her, and that he hoped
she would have consideration for his long and No. 318.] Wednesday, March 5, 1711-12.
patient respect, to excuse the emotions of a -non omnia possumus omnes.
heart now no longer under the direction of Virg. Ecl. viii. 63.
the unhappy owner of it. Such, for some With different talents form’d, we variously excel.* months, had been the language of Escalus,
both in his talk and his letters to Isabella, who MR. SPECTATOR,
returned all the profusion of kind things which ' A CERTAIN vice, which you have lately at- had been the collection of fifty years, with tacked, has not been considered by you as " I must not hear you: you will make me for, growing so deep in the heart of man, that the get that you are a gentleman; I would not affectation outlives the practice of it. You willingly lose you as a friend ;” and the like must have observed, that men who have been expressions, which the skilful interpret to bred in arms preserve to the most extreme and their own advantage, as well knowing that a feeble oid age, a certain daring in their as- feeble denial is a modest assent. I should pect. In like manner, they who have passed have told you, that Isabella, during the whole their time in gallantry and adventure, keep progress of this amour, communicated it to up, as well as they can, the appearance of it, her husband ; and that an account of Escalus's and carry a petulant inclination to their last love was their usual entertainment after half moments. Let this serve for a preface to a re- a day's absence. Isabella therefore, upon her lation I am going to give you of an old beau in lover's late more open assaults, with a smile town, that has not only been amorous, and a told her husband she could hold out no lonfollower of women in general, but also, in spite ger, but that his fate was vow come to a crisis. of the admonition of gray hairs, been from After she had explained herself a little farther, his sixty-third year to his present seventieth in with her husband's approbation, she proceedan actual pursuit of a young lady, the wife of ed in the following manner. The next time his friend, and a man of merit. The gay old that Escalus was alone with her, and repeatEscalus has wit, good health, and is perfectly ed his importunity, the crafty Isabella, looked well.bred; but, from the fashion and manners on her fan with an air of great attention, as of the court when he was in his bloom, has considering of what importance such a secret such a natural tendency to amorous adventure, was to her; and upon the repetition of a
warm expression, she looked at him with an - The motto to this paper in folio was,
eye of fondness, and told him he was past Rideat, et pulset lasciva decentius ætas.'--Hor. that time of life which could make her fear
he would boast of a lady's favour; then turn- care, as much as possible, to keep myself a ed away her head, with a very well acted neuter between both sexes. I have neither confusion, which favoured the escape of the spared the ladies out of complaisance, nor the aged Escalus. This adventure was matter of men out of partiality ; but notwithstanding great pleasantry to Isabella and her spouse; the great integrity with which I have acted in and they had enjoyed it two days before this particular, I find myself taxed with an Escalus could recollect himself enough to inclination to favour my own half of the speform the following letter:
cies. Whether it be that the women afford a
more fruitful field for speculation, or whether MADAM,
they run more in my head than the men, I “What happened the other day gives me a cannot tell; but I shall set down the charge lively image of the inconsistency of human
as it is laid against me in the following letter. passions and inclinations. We pursue what we are denied, and place our affections on
MR. SPECTATOR, what is absent, though we neglected it when
'I always make one among a company of present. As long as you refused my love your refusal did so strongly excite my passion, young females, who peruse your speculations
every morning. I am at present commissioned that I had not once the leisure to think of recalling my reason to aid me against the de- by our whole assembly to let you know, that sign upon your virtue. But when that virtue we fear you are a little inclined to be partial
towards your own sex.
We must however began to comply in my favour, my reason
acknowledge, with all due gratitude, that in made an effort over my love, and let me the baseness of my behaviour in attempting a the men, and done uso justice. We could not
some cases you have given us our revenge on woman of honour. I own to you, it was not without the most violent struggle that I gained dissection of the coquette's heart, if you had
easily have forgiven you several strokes in the this victory over myself; nay, I will confess my shame, and acknowledge, I could not have not, much about the same time, made a sacriprevailed but by flight. However, madam, i fice to us of a beau's skull.
You may further, sir, please to remember, beg that you will believe a moment's weakness has not destroyed the esteem I had for and commodes in such a manner, as, to use
that not long since you attacked our hoods you, which was confirmed by so many years of obstinate virtue. You have reason to re- your own expression, made very many of us
We must there. joice that this did not happen within the ob- ashamed to show our heads. servation of one of the young fellows, who in hopes, if you will please to make a due
fore beg leave to represent to you, that we are would have exposed your weakness, and glo- inquiry, the men in all ages would be found ried in his own brutish inclinations.
to have been little less whimsical in adorning " I am, Madam,
that part than ourselves. The different forms " Your most devoted humble servant.
of their wigs, together with the various cocks 'Isabella, with the help of her husband, of their hats, all flatter us in this opinion. returned the following answer:
• I had an humble servant last summer, who
the first time he declared himself, was in a " SIR,
full-bottomed wig; but the day after, to my “I cannot but account myself a very happy no small surprise, he accosted me in a thin nawoman, in having a man for a lover that can tural one.
I received him, at this our second write so well, and give so good a turn to a interview as a perfect stranger, but was exdisappointment. Another excellence you have tremely confounded when his speech discoverabove all other pretenders I ever heard of; on ed who he was. I resolved, therefore, to fix his occasions where the most reasonable men lose face in my memory for the future; but as I all their reason, you have yours most powerful. was walking in the Park the same evening, he We have each of us to thank our genius that appeared to me in one of those wigs that I the passion of one abated in proportion as think you call a night-cap, which had altered that of the other grew violent. yet come into your head to imagine, that I wards played a couple of black riding wigs
Does it not him more effectually than before. He afterknew my compliance was the greatest cruelty upon me with the same success, and, in short, I could be guilty of towards you? In return assumed a new face almost every day in the for your long and faithful passion, I must let first month of his courtship. you know that you are old enough to become
'I observed afterwards, that the variety of a little more gravity ; but if you will leave cocks into which he moulded his hat had not me, and coquet it any where else, may your a little contributed to his impositions upon me. mistress yield.
" Yet, as if all these ways were not sufficient T.
to distinguish their heads, you must doubtless,
sir, have observed, that great numbers of young No. 319.] Thursday, March 6, 1711.12.
fellows have, for several months last past, Quo teneam vultus mutantem Protea nodo?
taken upon them to wear feathers.
Hor. Ep. i. Lib. 1. 90. “We hope, therefore, that these may, with Say while they change on thus, what chains can bind as much justice, be called Iudian princes, as These varying forms, this Proteus of the mind ?
you have styled a woman in a coloure hood Francis.
an Indian queen; and that you will in due time I HAVE endeavoured in the course of my pa" take these airy gentlemen into consideration. pers to do justice to the age, and have taken We the more earnestly beg that you would
put a stop to this practice, since it has already with all the particulars of my intended dress ; Tost us one of the most agreeable members of but will only tell you, as a sample of it, that our society, who, after having refused several I shall very speedily appear at White's in a good estates, and two titles, was lured from us cherry-coloured hat. I took this hint from last week by a mixed feather.
the ladies' hoods, which I look upon as the 'I am ordered to present you with the res- boldest stroke that sex has struck for these pects of our whole company, and am, hundred years last past. Sir,
I am, Sir,
Your most obedient,
most humble servant,
· WILL SPRIGHTLY.' Note. The person wearing the feather, though our friend took him for an officer in I have not time at present to make any rethe guards, has proved to be an errant linen- flections on this letter ; but must not however draper.'*
omit that having shown it to Will Honeycomb,
he desires to be acquainted with the gentleman I am not now at leisure to give my opinion who writ it.
X. upon the hat and feather: however, to wipe of the present imputation, and gratify my female correspondent, I shall here print a letter which No 320.] Friday, March 7, 1711-12. I lately received from a man of mode, who
non pronuba Juno, seems to have a very extraordinary genius in Non Hymenæus adest, non illi gratia lecto;
Eumenides stravere torum
Ovid. Met. Lib. 6. 428.
Nor Hymen, nor the Graces here preside,
Nor Juno to befriend the blooming bride; 'I presume I need not inform you, that
But fiends with fun'ral brands the process led; among men of dress it is a common phrase
And furies waited at the genial bed. Croxal. 6. Mr. Such-a-one has struck a bold stroke ;" by which we understand, that he is • MR. SPECTATOR, the first inan who has had courage enough to • Yon have given many hints in your papers lead up a fashion. Accordingly, when our tai- to the disadvantage of persons of your own sex, lors take measure of us, they always demand, who lay plots upon women. Among other hard “ whether we will have a plain suit, or strike words you have published the term “Male Coa bold stroke?" I think I may without vanity quets, and been very severe upon such as give say, that I have struck some of the boldest and themselves the liberty of a little dalliance of most successful strokes of any man in Great heart, and playing fast and loose between love Britain. I was the first that struck the long and indifference, until perhaps an easy young pocket about two years since; I was likewise girl is reduced to sighs, dreams, and tears, and the author of the frosted button, which when I languishes away her life for a careless coxcomb, saw the town come readily into, being resolved who looks astonished, and wonders at such an to strike while the iron was hot, I produced effect from what in him was all but common much about the same time the scallop flap, civility. Thus you have treated the men who the knotted cravat,, and made a fair push for are irresolute in marriage; but if you design to the silver-clocked stocking.
be impartial, pray be so honest as to print the • A few months after I brought up the modish information I now give you of a certain set of jacket, or the coat with close sleeves. I struck women who never coquet for the matter, but, this at first in a plain Doily; but that failing, with a high hand, marry whom they please to I struck it a second time in blue camlet, and whom they please. As for my part, I should repeated the stroke in several kinds of cloth, not have concerned myself with them, but that until at last it took effect. There are two or I understand I am pitched upon by them to be three young fellows at the other end of the married, against my will, to one I never saw town who have always their eye upon me, and in my life. It has been my misfortune, sir, answer me stroke for stroke. I was once so very innocently, to rejoice in a plentiful forunwary as to mention my fancy in relation to tune, of which I am master, to bespeak a fine a new-fashioned surtout before one of these chariot, to give directions for two or three gentlemen, who was disingenous enough to handsome snuff-boxes, and as many suits of steal my thought, and by that means prevent- fine clothes; but before any of these were ready ed my intended stroke.
I heard reports of my being to be married to I have a design this spring to make very two or three different young women. Upon considerable innovations in the waistcoat; and my taking notice of it to a young gentleman have already begun with a coup d'essai upon who is often in my company, he told me smiling the sleeves, which has succeeded very well. I was in the inqnisition. You may believe I
'I must further inform you, if you will pro-was not a little startled at what he meant, and mise to encourage, or at least to connive at more so, when he asked me if I had bespoke me, that it is my design to strike such a stroke any thing of late that was fine, . I told him the beginning of the next month as shall sur- several; upon which he produced a description prise the whole town.
of my person, from the tradesmen whom I had * I do not think it prudent to acquaint you employed, and told me that they had certainly
informed against me. Mr. Spectator, whatever Only an ensign in the train-bands. Spect. in folio. the world may think of me, I am more coxcomb
than fool, and I grew very inquisitive upon this men, bottle companions, his fraternity of fops, head, not a little pleased with the novelty. shall be brought into the conspiracy against My friend told me, there were a certain set of him. Then this matter is not laid in so barewomen of fashion, whereof the number of six faced a manner before him as to have it inmade a committee, who sat thrice a week, under timated, Mrs. Such-a-one would make him a the title of “The Inquisition on Maids and very proper wife; but, by the force of their Bachelors.” It seems, whenever there comes correspondence, they shall make it (as Mr. such an unthinking gay thing as myself to town, Waller said of the marriage of the dwarfs) as he must want all manner of necessaries, or be impracticable to have any woman besides her put into the inquisition by the first tradesman they design him, as it would have been in he employs. They have constant intelligence Adam to have refused Eve. The man namwith cane-shops, perfuiners, toymen, coach-ed by the commission for Mrs. Such-a-one makers, and china-houses. From these several shall neither be in fashion, nor dare ever applaces these undertakers for marriages have as pear in company, should be attempt to evade constant and regular correspondence as the fu- their determination. neral-men have with vintners and apothecaries. The female sex wholly govern domestic life; All bachelors are under their immediate in- and by this means when they think fit, they spection : and my friend produced to me a re- can sow dissentions between the dearest friends, port given in to their board, wherein an old nay, make father and son irreconcilable eneuncle of mine, who came to town with me, and mies, in spite of all the ties of gratitude on myself were inserted, and we stood thus : the one part, and the duty of protection to be paid uncle smoky, rotten, poor; the nephew raw, on the other. The ladies of the inquisition but no fool; sound at present, very rich. My understand this perfectly well; and where love information did not end here ; but my friend's is not a motive to a man's choosing one whom advices are so good, that he could show me a they allot, they can with very much art insicopy of the letter sent to the young lady who nuate stories to the disadvantage of bis honesty is to have me; wbich I enclose to you: or courage, until the creature is too much dis
pirited to bear up against a general ill recepMADAM,
tion, which he every where meets with, and in “This is to let you know, that you are to be due time falls into their appointed wedlock married to a beau that comes out on Thurs- for shelter. I have a long letter bearing date day, six in the evening. Be at the Park. You the fourth instant, which gives me a large accannot but know a virgin fop ; they have a count of the politics of this court ; and find mind to look saucy, but are out of counte- there is now before them a very refractory
The board has denied him to several person who has escaped all their machinations good families. I wish you joy,
for two years last past ; but they have previ CORINNA." vented two successive matches which were of
his own inclination ; the one by a report that What makes my correspondent's case the his mistress was to be married, and the very more deplorable is, that, as I find by the re- day appointed, wedding-clothes bought, and port from my censor of marriages, the friend all things ready for her being given to anhe speaks of is employed by the inquisition to other ; the second time by insinuating to all take him in, as the phrase is. After all that his mistress's friends and acquaintance, that is told him, he has information only of one wo- he had been false to several other women, and man that is laid for him, and that the wrong the like. The poor man is now reduced to one; for the lady commissioners have devoted profess he designs to lead a single life ; but him to another than the person against whom the inquisition give out to all his acquaintance, they have employed their agent his friend to that nothing intended but the gentleman's alarm him. The plot is laid so well about this own welfare and happiness. When this is young gentleman, that he has no friend to re- urged, he talks still more humbly, and protests tire to, no place to appear in, or part of the he aims only at a life without pain or reproach; kingdom to fly into, but he must fall into the pleasure, honour, and riches, are things for notice, and be subject to the power of the in- which he has no taste. But notwithstanding quisition. They have their emissaries and sub- all this, and what else he may defend himself stitutes in all parts of this united kingdom. with, as that the lady is too old or too young, The first step they usually take, is to find from of a suitable humour, or the quite contrary, a correspondence, by their messengers and and that it is impossible they can ever do other whisperers, with some domestic of the bache-than wrangle from June to January, every bolor (who is to be hunted into the toils they dy tells him all this is spleen, and he must bave have laid for him), what are his manners, his a wife; while all the members of the inquisifamiliarities, his good qualities, or vices; not tion are unanimous in a certain woman for as the good in him is a recommendation, or him, and they think they altogether are better the ill a diminution, but as they affect to con- able to judge than be, or any other private tribute to the main inquiry, what estate he
person whatsoever. has in him. When this point is well reported to the board, they can take in a wild roaring
SIR, Temple, March 3, 1711. fox-hunter, as easily as a soft, gentle young • Your speculations this day on the subject rop of the town. The way is to make all places of idleness has employed me, ever since I read uneasy to him, but the scenes in which they it, in sorrowful reflections on my having loitered have allotted him to act. His brother hunts- a way the term (or rather the vacation) of ten