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*Coats, waistcoats, brocches, shining buttons,
No consersation strike the mind, Perhaps ten thousand leather cuttings.
But of the lowest, volgar kind; Sold at per pound, your lot but ask it,
Five miles from either church or school, Shall be weigh'd to you in a basket ;
No coming there, but cross a pool ; Some lots of tools, to make a try on,
Kept twenty years upon that station, About one hundred weight of iron;
. With only six months' education ; Scales, earthenware, arm-chairs, a tea-urn,
Traverse the scene, then weigh it well, Tea-chests, a herring-tub, and so on;
Say, could you better write or spell **** With various more, that's our intention,
One extract, in prose, is an example of Which are too tedious here to mention.
the disposition and powers of his almost “ N. B. To undeceive, 'fore you come nigher,
untutored mind, viz, The duty charg'd upon the buyer ; And, should we find we're not perplext,
“No animation without generation seems We'll keep it up the Tuesday next.”
a standing axiom in philosophy: but upon During repeated visits to his surviving
tasting the berry of a plant greatly resem
8 relatives in his native fens, he observed the
bling brooklime, but with a narrower leaf, altered appearance of the scene from the
I found it attended with a loose fulsome improved method of drainage. It had be
ness, very different from any thing I had come like “ another world," and he re.
ever tasted ; and on splitting one of them solved
with my nail, out sprang a fluttering mag
got, which put me upon minute examina-" to try His talent for postérity;"
tion. The result of which was, that every
berry, according to its degree of maturity, and “make a book," under the title of contained a proportionate maggot, up to “ The Low Fen Journal," to comprise "a the full ripe shell, where a door was plainly chain of Incidents relating to the State of discerned, and the insect had taken its the Fens, from the earliest Account to the flight, I have ever since carefully inspected present Time.” As a specimen of the work the herb, and the result is always the same, he published, in the summer of 1812, an viz. if you split ten thousand of the berries, octavo pamphlet of twenty-four pages, you discover nothing but an animated germ. called a “ Sketch of Local History," by It grows in shallow water, and is frequently 4 Will. Will-be-80,” announcing
accompanied with the water plantain. Its
berry is about the size of a red currant, and “ If two hundred subscribers will give in their aid,
comes on progressively, after the manner The whole of this journal is meant to be laid
of juniper in the berry: the germ is first Under public view.”
discoverable about the middle of July, and This curious pamphlet of odds and ends continues till the frost subdues it. And my in prose and rhyme, without order or ar conjectures lead me to say, that one luxurangement, contained a “ caution to the rious plant shall be the mother of many buyer.".
scores of Aies. I call it 'the fy berry “Let any read that will not soil or rend it, . But should they ask to borrow, pray don't lend it ! Thus far the “ Sketch.” He seems to Advise them," Go and buy;' 'twill better suit have caught the notion of his “ Low Fen My purpose ; and with you prevent dispute.
Journal” from a former fen genius, whose With me a maxim 'tis, he that won't buy
works are become of great price, though it Does seldom well regard his neighbour's property; must be acknowledged, more for their And did you chew the bit, so much as I do
quaintness and rarity, than their intrinsic From lending books, I think’twould make you shy too." merit. Will. refers to him in the following
In the course of the tract. he presented apologetical lines. to “ the critics " the following admonitory
“ Well, on the earth he knows of none, address.
With a full turn just like his mind;
Nor only one that's dead and gone, “ Pray, sirs, consider, had you been
Whose genius stood as his inclin'd: Bred where whole winters nothing's seen
No doubt the public wish to know it, But naked food for miles and miles,
John Taylor, call'd the water poet, Except a boat the eye beguiles ;
Who near two centuries ago
Wrote much such nonsense as I do."
The sale of the “ Sketch" not answering By tens of thousands darken light;
his expectations, no further symptoms of None to assist in greatest need,
the “ Journal” made their appearance at Parents but very badly read;
In the summer of 1815, after forty-three Low-Pen-Bill. Hall his word engages years' practice as an auctioneer, he an
To send about two hundred pages, nounced his retirement by the following Collected by his gleaning pains, laconic farewell.
Mix'd with the fruit of his own brains."
This specimen of the work was as un“RAP SENIOR's given it up at last,
intelligible as the before-mentioned introWith thanks for ev'ry favour past;
ductory “ Sketch," partaking of the same Alias ' ANTIQUARIAN HALL'
autobiographical, historical, and religious Will never more be heard to brawl;
character, with acrostic, elegiac, obituarian, As auctioneer no more will lie,
and other extraneous pieces in prose and But's thrown his wicked hammer by.
rhyme. His life had been passed in vicisShould you prefer him to appraise,
situde and hardship, “ oft' pining for a bit He's licensed for future days;
of bread;" and from experience, he was Or still employ him on-commission,
well adapted to
To whom most extra lots befell;
Who liv'd for months on stage of planks,
'Midst captain Flood's most swelling 'pranks, To lot, collect, in place of clerk,
Five miles from any food to have,
Yea often risk'd & watry grave;"
yet his facts and style were so incongruous, You need not of him be afraid."
that speaking of the “ Sketch,” he says,
when he The harvest of 1816 proved wet and unfavourable, and he thought " it almost ex
“sent it out,
Good lack! to know what 'twas about ? ceeded any thing in his memory;" where
He might as well have sent it muzzled, fore the world was favoured with “ Reflec
For half the folks seem'd really puzzled. tions upon Times, and Times and Times !
Soliciting for patronage, or a more than Sixty Years' Tour of the
He might have spent ņear half an age; Mind," by “ Low-Fen-Bill-Hall.” This
From all endeavours undertook, was an octavo pamphlet of sixteen pages,
He could not get it to a book.” in prose, quite as confused as his other
Though the only “historical" part of the productions, “ transmitting to posterity,"
first number of his “ Fen Journal,” in as the results of sixty years' experience,
twenty-four pages, consisted of prosaic that “the frequency of thunderstorms in the spring,"_" the repeated appearance of
fragments of his grandfather's “ poaching,"
his mother's “groaning," his father's “fish. water-spouts,"_"an innumerable quantity
ing," and his own “ conjectures;" yet he of black snails," "an unusual number of
tells the public, that field mice,”-and “ the great many snakes to be seen about,” are certain " indications
“ Protected by kind Providence, of a wet harvest” To these observations,
I mean in less than twelve months hence, intermingled with digression upon digres
Push'd by no very common sense, sion, he prefixed as one of the mottoes, an
To give six times as much as here is, extremely appropriate quotation from Deut.
And hope there's none will think it dear is,
Consid'ring th' matter rather queer is.” c. 32. v. 29, “ O that they were wise, that they understood this !”
In prosecution of his intentions, No. 2 In the spring of 1818, when in his shortly followed; and, as it was alike heteseventieth year, or, as he says, “ David's rogeneous and unintelligible, he says he gage being near complete," he determined had “caught the Swiftiania, in running on an attempt to publish his “ Low Fen digression on digression," with as many Journal,” in numbers; the first of which whimseys as “ Peter, Martin, and John he thus announced :
had in twisting their father's will.” He ex
pected that this “ gallimaufry" and himself “ A Lincolnshire rais’d medley pie,
would be consecrated to posterity, for he An original miscellany,
says, Not meant as canting, puzzling mystery,
“ 'Tis not for lucre that I write, But for a general true FEN HISTORY,
But something lasting,--to indite
What may redound to purpose good,
(If hap’ly can be understood ;)
And, as time passes o'er his stages,
Transmit:my mind to future ages."
On concluding his second number, he And each in candour thus impart, “ gratefully acknowledges the liberality of
You have my fellowship and heart;
Let this but be the root o'th' sense, his subscribers, and is apprehensive the
Jcsus the Christ, my confidence, Interlope will find a very partial acceptance;
As given in the Father's love, but it being so congenial an interlude to
No other system I approve." the improvement of Low Fen and Billinghay Dale manners, to be hereafter shown,
After a short illness, towards the conhe hopes it will not be considered detri
clusion of his seventy-eighth year, death mental, should his work continue." Such,
closed his mortal career. Notwithstanding however, was not the case, for his literary
tary his eccentricity, he was “ devoid of guile, project terminated : unforeseen events re
plain and sincere in all transactions, and duced his finances, and he had not
his memory is universally respected.“Pecune
“ Peace to his ashes "-(to use his own Enough, to keep his harp in tune."
expressions, The care of a large family of orphan
"Let all the world say worst they can, grandchildren, in indigent circumstances, He was an upright, honest man," having devolved upon him, he became perplexed with extreme difficulties, and again experienced the truth of his own observa.
W inter. tion, that
'For the Table Book.
WINTER ! I love thee, for thou com'st to me
Laden with joys congenial to my mind,
And all those virtues which adorn mankind. and other theological works, which his “ antiquarian library” contained, his atten
What though the meadows, and the neighb'ring hills,
That rear their cloudy summits in the skiestion was particularly directed to the funda
What though the woodland brooks, and lowland rills, mental truths of religion, and the doctrines
That charm'd our ears, and gratified our eyes, of " the various denominations of the
In thy forlorn habiliments appear ? Christian world.” The result was, that
What though the zephyrs of the summer tide, without joining any, he imbibed such por. And all the softer beauties of the year tions of the. tenets of each sect, that his Are Aled and gone, kind Hear'n has not denied opinions on this subject were as singular as
Our books and studies, music, conversation, on every other. Above all sectaries, yet And ev'ning parties for our recreation ; not entirely agreeing even with them, he And these suffice, for seasons snatch'd away, so loved and venerated” the “ Moravians or Till SPRING leads forth the slowly-length’ning day. United Brethren,"for their meek,unassuming
B. W. R. demeanour, their ceaseless perseverance in propagating the gospel, and their boundless love towards the whole human race.
A WINTER'S DAY. Of his own particular notions, he thus says,
For the Table Book. “ If I on doctrines have right view,
The horizontal sun, like an orb of molten Here's this for me, and that for you;
gold, caşts “ a dim religious light” upon Another gives my neighbour comfort,
the surpliced world : the beams, reflected A stranger comes with one of some sort;
from the dazzling snow, fall upon the When after candid scrutinizing,
purple mists, which extend round the earth We find them equally worth prizing ;
like a zone, and in the midst the planet 'Cause all in gospel love imparted,
appears a fixed stud, surpassing the ruby in Nor is there any one perverted ;
Now trees and shrubs are borne down
with sparkling congelations, and the coral 0! what a spread of harmiony,
clusters of the nawthorn and holly are more Each with each, bearing and forbearing,
splendid, and offer a cold conserve to the All wishing for a better hearing,
wandering schoolboy. The huntsman is Would in due time, then full improve
seen riding to covert in his scarlet livery, Into one family of love :
the gunner is heard at intervals in the upInstead of shyness on each other,
lands, and the courser comes galloping My fellow-christian, sister, brother,
down the hill side, with his hounds in full chase before him. The farmer's boy, who a well-wrought snowball at the Gorgon, is forced from his warm bed, to milk cows who turns round in a passion to discover in a cold meadow, complains it's a “burn- the delinquent, when her pattens, unused ing" shame that he should be obliged to go to such quick rotatory motion, slip from starving by himself, while “ their wench" under her feet, and “ down topples she," has nothing else to do but make a fire, and to the delight of the urchins around her, boil the tea-kettle. Now, Mrs. Jeremy who drown her cries and threats in reiteBellclack, properly so called, inasmuch as rated bursts of laughter, the unmentionables are amongst her pecu- Now, the Comet stage-coach, bowling liar attributes, waked by the mail-coach along the russet-coloured road, with a long horn, sounding an Introit to the day, orders train of vapour from the horses' nostrils, her husband, poor fellow, to “ just get up looks really like a comet. At the same and look what sort of a morning it is time, Lubin, who has been sent to town by and he, shivering at the bare idea, affects to his mistress with a letter for the post-office, be fast asleep, till a second summons, ac- and a strict injunction to return speedily, companied by the contact of his wife's finds it impossible to pass the blacksmith's heavy hand, obliges him to paddle across shop, where the bright sparks fly from the the ice-cold plaster floor; and the trees and forge; and he determines "just" to stop and church-steeples, stars, spears, and saws, look at the blaze “ a bit," which, as he which form an elegant tapestry over the says, “ raly does one's eyes good of a winwindows, seem to authorize the excuse that ter's morning ;" and then, he just blows he “ can't see," while, shivering over the the bellows a bit, and finds it so pleasant dressing-table, he pours a stream of visible to listen to the strokes of Vulcan's wit, and breath on the frozen pane.
his sledge-hammer, alternately, that he conAfter breakfast, Dicky, “ with shining tinues blowing up the fire, till, at length, morning face," appears in the street, on he recollects what a “ blowing up" he shali his way to school, with his Latin grammar have from his “ Missis" when he gets home, in one hand, and a slice of bread and bute and forswears the clang of horse-shoes ter in the other, to either of which he pays and plough-irons, and leaves the temple of his devoirs, and “ slides and looks, and the Cyclops, but not without a “ longing, slides and looks," all the way till he arrives ling'ring look behind" at Messrs. Blaze at “ the house of bondage,” when his fine and Company. gers are so benumbed, that he is obliged to From the frozen surface of the pond or warm his slate, and even then they refuse lake, men with besoms busily clear away to cast up figures, “ of their own accord.” the drift, for which they are amply rému. In another part of the school, Joe Lazy finds nerated by voluntary contributions froin it “ so 'nation cold," that he is quite unable every fresh-arriving skater; and black ice is to learn the two first lines of his lesson, discovered between banks of snow, and and he plays at " cocks and dollars” with ramified into numerous transverse, oblique, Jem Slack in a corner. The master semicircular, or elliptical branches. Here stands before the fire, like the Colossus of and there, the snow appears in large heaps, Rhodes, all the morning, to the utter dislike rocks or islands, and round these the comfiture of the boys, who grumble at the proficients in the art monopoly, and secretly tell one another, that they pay for the fire, and ought to have
“ Come and trip it as they go
On the light, fantastic toe,” the benefit of it. At length he says, “ You may go, boys ;" whereupon ensues such a winding and sailing, one amongst anpattering of feet, shutting of boxes, and other, like the smooth-winged swallows, scrambling for hats, as beats Milton's which so lately occupied the same surface.
busy hum of men" all to nothing, till they While these are describing innumerable reach their wonted slide in the yard, where circles, the sliding fraternity in another they suddenly stop on discovering that part form parallel lines ; each, of each class, " that skinny old creature, Bet Fifty, the vies with the other in feats of activity, all cook," has bestrewed it from end to end enjoy the exhilarating pastime, and every with sand and cinders. Frost-stricken as face is illumined with cheerfulness. The it were, they stare at one another, and look philosophic skater, big with theory, con. unnutterable things at the aforesaid “ skin- vinced, as he tells every one he meets, that ny old creature;" till Jack Turbulent, ring- the whole art consists “ merely in transleader-general of all their riots and rebel ferring the centre of gravity from one foot lions, execrates “ old Betty, cook," with to the other," boldiy, essays a demonstra. the fluency of a parlour boarder, and hurls tion, and instantly transfers it from both, so as to honour the frozen element with who has 'heard it before, corrects him by a sudden salute from that part of the body saying, “No, Pa, that's not it-it's because which usually gravitates on a chair; they are furred up." Now, unless their and the wits compliment him on the horses are turned up, the riders are very superior knowledge by which he has likely to be turned down; and deep wells “ broken the ice," and the little lads run are dry, and poor old women, with a to see " what a big star the gentleman has “ well-a-day !” are obliged to boil down made !" and think it must have hurt him snow and icicles to make their tea with. “ above'a bit !"
Now, an old oak-tree, with only one branch, It is now that the different canals are looks like a man with a rifle to his shoulder, frozen up, and goods are conveyed by and the night-lorn traveller trembles at the the stage-waggon, and “ it's a capital time prospect of having his head and his pockets for the turnpikes;" and those who can get rifled together. Now, sedan-chairs, and brandy, drink it; and those who can't, servants with lanterns, are “ filting across drink ale; and those who are unable to the night," to fetch home their masters and procure either, do much better without mistresses from oyster-eatings, and qua: them. And now, ladies have red noses, drille parties. And now, a young lady, and the robin, with his little head turned who had retreated from the heat of the ballknowingly on one side, presents his burning room, to take the benefit of the north wind, breast at the parlour window, and seems to and caught a severe cold, calls in the crave a dinner from the noontide breakfast doctor, who is quite convinced of the corIn such a day, the “ son and heir” of the rectness of the old adage, “It's an ill wind “ gentleman retired from business” bedi- that blows nobody good.” zeps the drawing-room with heavy loads of Now, the sultana of the night reigns on prickly evergreen; and bronze candle her throne of stars, in the blue zenith, and bearers, porcelain figures, and elegant young ladies and gentlemen, who had chimney ornaments, look like prince shivered all day by the parlour fire, and Malcolm's soldiers at “ Birnam wood," or found themselves in danger of annihilation chorister boys on a holy Thursday; and when the door by chance had been left a little his “ Ma" nearly falls into hysterics on way open, are quite warm enough to walk discovering the mischief; and his “ Pa" together by moonlight, though every thing begins to scold him for being so naughty; around them is actually petrified by the and the budding wit asks, as he runs out frost. of the room, “ Why, don't you know that Now, in my chamber, the last ember these are the holly days " and his fatherfalls, and seems to warn us as it descends, relates the astonishing instance of early that though we, like it, may shine among genius at every club, card-party, or vestry the brilliant, and be cherished by the great meeting for a month to come. Now, all the (grate,) we must mingle our ashes. The pumps are frozen, old men tumble down wasted candle, too, is going the way of all on the flags, and ladies “ look blue" at their flesh, and the writer of these « night lovers. Now, the merry-growing bacchanal thoughts," duly impressed with the imbegins to thaw himself with frequent po. portance of his own mortality, takes his tations of wine ; bottle after bottle is sacri: farewell of his anti-critical readers in the ficed to the health of his various friends, language of the old song, though his own health is sacrificed in the ceremony; and the glass that quaffs “ the
“Gude night, an' joy be wi' you all!" prosperity of the British constitution," Lichfield.
J. H. ruins his own.
And now, dandies, in rough great coats and fur collars, look like Esquimaux Indians; and the fashionables of the fair sex,
- TAKE NOTICE. in white veils and swans-down muffs and tippets, have (begging their pardons)
A correspondent who has seen the origivery much the appearance of polar bears.
nal of the following notice, written at Baih, Now, Miss Enigmaria Conundrina Riddle,
says, it would have been placed on a board poring over her new pocket-book, lisps
in a garden there, had not a friend advised out, 6 Why are ladies in winter like tea
its author to the contrary : kettles ?” to which old Mr. Riddle, pouring forth a dense ringlet of tobacco-smoke, re
"ANY PERSON TRESPACE HERE plies, “ Because they dance and sing,"
SHALL BE PROSTICUTED but master Augustus Adolphus Riddle, • ACCORDING TO LAW.”