Value, 3 Heats, by any Horfe, Mare or Gelding that hath not won above the Value of 5 1. the winning Horfe to be Sold for 10 1. to carry 10 Stone Weight, if 14 Hands high; if above or under, to carry or be allowed Weight for Inches, and to be entered Friday the 5th at the Swan in Coleshill, before Six in the Evening. Alfo a Plate of lefs Value to be run for by Affes. The fame Day a Gold Ring to be Grinn'd for by Men.

THE first of these Diverfions that is to be exhibited by the 10%. Race-Horfes, may probably have its Ufe; but the two laft, in which the Affes and Men are concerned, feem to me altogether extraordinary and unaccountable. Why they fhould keep Running-Affes at Coleshill, or how making Mouths turns to account in Warwickshire, more than in any other Parts of England, I cannot comprehend. I have looked over all the Olympick Games, and do not find any thing in them like an Ass-Race, or a Match at Grinning. However it be, I am informed that feveral Affes are now kept in Body-Clothes, and fweated every Morning upon the Heath, and that all the Country-Fellows within ten Miles of the Swan, grinn an Hour or two in their Glaffes every Morning, in order to qualify themfelves for the 9th of October. The Prize, which is propofed to be Grinn'd for, has raised fuch an Ambition among the Common-People of out-grinning one another, that many very difcerning Perfons are afraid it fhould fpoil moft of the Faces in the County; and that a Warwickfire Man will be known by his Grinn, as Roman-Ca'tholicks imagine a Kentish Man is by his Tail. The Gold Ring, which is made the Prize of Deformity, is juft the Reverse of the Golden Apple that was formerly made the Prize of Beauty, and fhould carry for its Posey the old Motto inverted.

Detur tetriori.

Or to accommodate it to the Capacity of the Combatants,

In the mean while I would advise a Dutch Painter to be prefent at this great Controverfy of Faces, in order to

make

make a Collection of the most remarkable Grinns that fhall be there exhibited.

I must not here omit an Account which I'lately received of one of these Grinning-Matches from a Gentleman, who, upon reading the abovementioned Advertisement, entertained a Coffee-house with the following Narrative. Upon the taking of Namure, amidst other publick Rejoicings made on that Occafion, there was a Gold Ring given by a Whig Juftice of Peace to be grinn'd for. The first Competitor that entered the Lifts, was a black fwarthy Frenchman, who accidentally paffed that way, and being. a Man naturally of a wither'd Look, and hard Features, promised himself good Success. He was placed upon a Table in the great Point of View, and looking upon the Company like Milton's Death,

Grinn'd horribly a Ghaftly Smile

HIS Muscles were fo drawn together on each Side of his Face, that he fhew'd twenty Teeth at a Grinn, and put the Country in fome Pain, left a Foreigner fhould carry away the Honour of the Day; but upon a farther Trial they found he was Mafter only of the merry Grinn.

THE next that mounted the Table was a Malecontent in those Days, and a great Master in the whole Art of Grinning, but particularly excelled in the angry Grinn. He did his Part fo well, that he is faid to have made half a: dozen Women mifcarry; but the Juftice being apprised by one who stood near him, that the Fellow who grinn'd in his Face was a Jacobite, and being unwilling that a Difaffected Perfon fhould win the Gold Ring, and be looked upon as the best Grinner in the Country, he ordered the Oaths to be tendered unto him upon his quitting the Table, which the Grinner refufing, he was fet afide as an unqualified Perfon.. There were feveral other Grotefque Figures that prefented themselves, which it would be too tedious to defcribe. I must not however omit a Ploughman, who lived in the farther Part of the Country, and being very lucky in a Pair of long Lanthorn-Jaws, wrung his Face into fuch an hideous Grimace, that every Feature of it appeared under a different Distortion. The whole Company stood aftonish'dat fuch a complicated Grinn, and were ready

Value, 3 Heats, by any Horse, Mare or Gelding that hath not won above the Value of 5 1. the winning Horfe to be Sold for 10 1. to carry 10 Stone Weight, if 14 Hands high; if above or under, to carry or be allowed Weightfor Inches, and to be entered Friday the 5th at the Swan in Coleshill, before Six in the Evening. Alfo a Plate of lefs Value to be run for by Affes. The fame Day a Gold Ring to be Grinn'd for by Men.

THE firft of thefe Diverfions that is to be exhibited by the 107. Race-Horfes, may probably have its Ufe; but the two laft, in which the Affes and Men are concerned, feem to me altogether extraordinary and unaccountable. Why they should keep Running-Affes at Coleshill, or how making Mouths turns to account in Warwickshire, more than in any other Parts of England, I cannot comprehend. I have looked over all the Olympick Games, and do not find any thing in them like an Afs-Race, or a Match at Grinning. However it be, I am informed that feveral Affes are now kept in Body-Clothes, and fweated every Morning upon the Heath, and that all the Country-Fellows within ten Miles of the Swan, grinn an Hour or two in their Glaffes every Morning, in order to qualify themfelves for the 9th of October. The Prize, which is propofed to be Grinn'd for, has raised fuch an Ambition among the Common-People of out-grinning one another, that many very difcerning Perfons are afraid it should spoil moft of the Faces in the County; and that a Warwickfire Man will be known by his Grinn, as Roman-Catholicks imagine a Kentish Man is by his Tail. The Gold Ring, which is made the Prize of Deformity, is just the Reverse of the Golden Apple that was formerly made the Prize of Beauty, and fhould carry for its Posey the old Motto inverted.

Detur tetriori

Or to accommodate it to the Capacity of the Combatants,

In the mean while I would advise a Dutch Painter to be prefent at this great Controverfy of Faces, in order to

make

make a Collection of the most remarkable Grinns that fhall be there exhibited.

I must not here omit an Account which I'lately received of one of these Grinning-Matches from a Gentleman, who, upon reading the abovementioned Advertisement, entertained a Coffee-house with the following Narrative. Upon the taking of Namure, amidst other publick Rejoicings made on that Occafion, there was a Gold Ring given by a Whig Juftice of Peace to be grinn'd for. The first Competitor that entered the Lifts, was a black fwarthy Frenchman, who accidentally paffed that way, and being a Man naturally of a wither'd Look, and hard Features, promised himself good Succefs. He was placed upon a Table in the great Point of View, and looking upon the Company like Milton's Death,

Grinn'd horribly a Ghaftly Smile

HIS Muscles were fo drawn together on each Side of his Face, that he fhew'd twenty Teeth at a Grinn, and put the Country in fome Pain, left a Foreigner fhould carry away the Honour of the Day; but upon a farther Trial they found he was Mafter only of the merry Grinn.

THE next that mounted the Table was a Malecontent in thofe Days, and a great Master in the whole Art of Grinning, but particularly excelled in the angry Grinn. He did his Part fo well, that he is faid to have made half a dozen Women mifcarry; but the Juftice being apprifed by one who stood near him, that the Fellow who grinn'd in his Face was a Jacobite, and being unwilling that a Difaffected Perfon fhould win the Gold Ring, and be looked upon as the best Grinner in the Country, he ordered the Oaths to be tendered unto him upon his quitting the Table, which the Grinner refufing, he was fet afide as an unqualified Perfon.. There were feveral other Grotefque Figures that prefented themselves, which it would be too tedious to defcribe. I must not however omit a Ploughman, who lived in the farther Part of the Country, and being very lucky in a Pair of long Lanthorn-Jaws, wrung his Face into fuch an hideous Grimace, that every Feature of it appeared under a different Distortion. The whole Company stood aftonish'd at fuch a complicated Grinn, and were ready

ready to affign the Prize to him, had it not been proved by one of his Antagonists, that he had practifed with Verjuice for fome Days before, and had a Crab found upon him at the very time of Grinning; upon which the best Judges of Grinning declared it as their Opinion, that he was not to be looked upon as a fair Grinner, and therefore ordered him to be fet afide as a Cheat.

THE Prize, it seems, fell at length upon a Cobler, Giles Gorgon by Name, who produced feveral new Grinns of his own Invention, having been used to cut Faces for many Years together over his Laft. At the very firft Grinn he caft every human Feature out of his Countenance, at the second he became the Face of a Spout, at the third a Baboon, at the fourth the Head of a Bafs-Viol, and at the fifth a Pair of Nut-crackers. The whole Affembly. wondered at his Accomplishments, and bestowed the Ring on him unanimoufly; but, what he esteemed more than all the reft, a Country Wench, whom he had wooed in vain for above five Years before, was fo charmed with his Grinns, and the Applauses which he received on all Sides, that the married him the Week following, and to this Day wears the Prize upon her Finger, the Cobler having made ufe of it as his Wedding Ring.

it

THIS Paper might perhaps feem very impertinent, if grew ferious in the Conclufion.. I would nevertheless leave it to the Confideration of those who are the Patrons of this monstrous Trial of Skill, whether or no they are not guilty, in fome measure, of an affront to their Species, in treating after this manner the Human Face Divine, and turning that Part of us, which has fo great an Image impreffed upon it, into the Image of a Monkey; whether the raifing fuch filly Competitions among the Ignorant, propofing Prizes for fuch ufelefs Accomplishments, filling the common People's Heads with fuch fenfeless Ambitions, and infpiring them with such abfurd Ideas of Superiority and Pre-eminence, has not in it fomething immoral as. well as ridiculous.

L

Wednesday