CARLOW CHURCH.

Upon Swift's visiting Carlow, the rector conducted him. over the town and neighbourhood, showing him all the objects of interest there. On returning to the glebe, Swift, pointing to the church, inquired what building it was, and why he had not been shown it? "Oh," said his conductor, "it is only the parish church; but it is really so dilapidated, and in such bad order, that I did not think it worth your inspection." At this Swift expressed his regret; but said he knew a cheap way of repairing it. Why don't you give it," said he, "to the Papists? you know they would repair it, and then you could take it from them afterwards." This fine stroke of satire is related by Mr. Wilde as hitherto unpublished. Was it on this occasion (he asks) Swift said

A high church and a low steeple,
A poor town and a proud people.

THE ECLIPSE HOAX.

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Swift was everywhere received by the common people with the most profound respect, and used to say they should subscribe forty shillings a-year to keep him in hats, so numerous were the bows which he received and regularly returned. Upon one occasion he made a ludicrous experiment on the public belief in his authority. A number of persons having assembled round the Deanery to see an eclipse, Swift became tired of their noise, and commanded the crier to make proclamation that the eclipse was put off by command of the Dean of St. Patrick's. This extraordinary enunciation was received with great gravity, and was the means of dispersing the assembled gazers.

SWIFT'S LOVE OF LOW LIFE.

During his mother's lifetime, Swift scarcely ever failed to pay her an annual visit. He often went in a waggon, but more frequently walked from Holyhead to Leicester, London, or any other part of England. Lord Orrery tells us that he generally chose to dine with waggoners, hostlers, and persons of that class; and he used to lie at night at the houses where he found written over the door, 'Lodgings for

penny.' He delighted in scenes of low life. The vulgar dialect was not only a fund of humour for him, but I verily believe was acceptable to his nature; otherwise I know not how to account for the many filthy ideas and indecent expressions (I mean indecent in point of cleanliness and delicacy) that will be found throughout his works."

Johnson says: "This practice Lord Orrery imputes to his innate love of grossness and vulgarity; some may ascribe it to his desire of surveying human life through all its varieties; and others, perhaps, with equal probability, to a passion which seems to have deeply fixed in his heart the love of a shilling."

A TROUBLESOME NEIGHBOUR.

Lord Orrery relates that Swift dined once at a Lord Mayor's feast in Dublin, and was attacked and teazed by an opulent, boisterous, half-intoxicated squire, who happened to sit next to him: he bore the awkward raillery for some time, and then on a sudden called out to the Mayor, "My Lord, here is one of your bears at my shoulder, he has been worrying me this half hour, and I desire you will order him to be taken off."

A BEGGARS' WEDDING.

Swift, being in the country, on a visit to his friend, Dr. Sheridan, learned that a beggars' wedding was about to be celebrated in the neighbourhood. Sheridan played well upon the violin, and Swift proposed that he should go to the place of the wedding disguised as a blind fiddler, while Swift attended him as his man. Thus accoutred, they joined the party, and were received with acclamation. They had plenty of good cheer, nl never was a more joyous wedding seen. The beggars told stories, played tricks, cracked jokes, sang and danced; and the fiddler and his man, when they left, were well remunerated. Next day, the Dean and Sheridan walked out in their usual dress, and found many of their late companions hobbling about upon crutches, or pretending to be blind, and piteously supplicating charity. Sheridan distributed among them the money he had received; but the Dean, who hated all mendicants, fell into a violent passion, telling them his adventure of the preceding day, and threatened to send every one of them to prison. This had such an effect, that the blind opened their eyes, and the lame threw away

H

their crutches, running off as fast as their legs could carry them.

WORTH OF A RHYME.

One of Swift's rhymes on Bettesworth is said to have been suggested by this circumstance. A porter brought a burden to the Dean's house while he was busy with the poem, and labouring to find a rhyme for this uncommon name, the more anxiously, that Bettesworth exulted in the idea of its being impossible. The porter's demand being considered as exorbitant, he wiped his forehead, saying, with the humour of a low Irishman, "Oh! your reverence, my sweat's worth half-acrown." The Dean instantly caught at the words, "Ay, that it is, there's half-a-crown for you."

"NABOTH'S VINEYARD."

"I'll send for your husband," said the Dean to Mrs. Pilkington, "to dine with us, and in the meantime we'll go and take a walk in Naboth's Vineyard." "Where may that be,

sir ?" said she. "Why, a garden," said the Dean, "I cheated one of my neighbours out of."

THE DEAN SETS UP HIS CARRIAGE.

In 1741-2, upon the reported disgrace of Lord Orford, Swift set up an equipage. The Dean used formerly to say, that he was the poorest man in Ireland who was served in plate, and the richest who kept no carriage. The account of his setting up one is thus given by Bishop Rundle, in a letter preserved in the British Museum.

"As soon as Dean Swift heard that Lord Orford was dismissed from

power, he awakened with one flash of light from his dreaming of what he once was, and cried, I made a vow that I would set up a coach when that man was turned out of his places; and having the good fortune to behold that day, long despaired of, I will show that I was sincere and sent for a coachmaker. The operator comes, had one almost ready,-it was sent home,-horses were purchased,-and the Dean entered the triumphant double chariot, supported by two old women and his daily flatterer, to entertain him with the only music he had an ear to hear at this age; they made up the partie quarrée, and, with much ado, enabled his decrepit reverence to endure the fatigue of travelling twice round our great square, by the cordial and amusement of their fulsome commendations, which he calls facetious pleasantry. But the next packet brought word (what lying varlets these newswriters are!) that Lord Orford's party revived, &c. Swift sunk

back in the corner of the coach, his under jaw fell; he was carried up to his chamber and great chair, and obstinately refused to be lifted into the treacherous vehicle any more, till the newswriters at least shall be hanged for deceiving him to imagine that Lord Orford was bond fide out of power, though visibly out of place. Now he despairs of seeing vengeance taken on any, who, odd fellow! he thinks more richly deserve it; and since he cannot send them out of the world with dishonour, he intends soon to go out of it in a pet."-Letter signed Thomas Derry, dated March 20, 1741-2. MSS. Birch, 4291.

The Bishop is incorrect in supposing that Swift laid aside the equipage which was thus set sup. It a t appears from Wilson's affidavit, (Swift's Works, vol. xix. p. 259, note,) that Swift, in July, 1742, had a carriage of his own.

SWIFT AND THE BISHOP OF KILMORE.

Josiah Hort, Bishop of Kilmore, and afterwards Archbishop of Tuam, was the author of A New Proposal for the better Regulation and Improvement of Quadrille, for the publication of which Faulkner, the bookseller, was imprisoned. His not having indemnified the publisher excited the ire of Dean Swift in the following satire, published anonymously some years ago, but since found in MS., and acknowledged by Dean Swift, in his own hand :—

"An Epigram on seeing a worthy Prelate go out of Church in the time of Divine Service to wait on his Grace the Duke of Dorset, on his coming to Town :

:

'Lord Pam in the church (could you think it?) kneel'd down,
When told that the Duke was just come to town-
His station despising, unaw'd by the place,
He flies from his God to attend on his Grace.

To the Court it was fitter to pay his devotion,

Since God had no hand in his Lordship's promotion.'

999

Wilde's Closing Years of Dean Swift's Life, 1849.

THE DEAN AND LADY BURLINGTON.

Scott relates an anecdote, which, though only told by Mrs. Pilkington, is well attested. The last time Swift was in London, he went to dine with the Earl of Burlington, who was but newly married. The Earl, it is supposed, being willing to have a little diversion, did not introduce him to his lady nor mention his name. After dinner said the Dean, Lady Burlington, I hear you can sing; sing me a song.' The lady looked on this unceremonious manner of asking a favour with distaste, and positively refused. He said, "She

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should sing, or he would make her. Why, madam, I suppose you take me for one of your poor English hedge-parsons; sing when I bid you." As the Earl did nothing but laugh at this freedom, the lady was so vexed that she burst into tears and retired. Swift's first compliment to her ladyship when he saw her again was," Pray, madam, are you as proud and ill-natured now as when I saw you last ?" To which she answered with great good-humour," No, Mr. Dean; I'll sing for you if you please." From this time he conceived a great esteem for her.

HOW SWIFT TRIED HIS COMPANY.

Whenever he fell into the company of any person for the first time, it was his custom to try their tempers and disposition by some abrupt question that bore the appearance of rudeness. If this were well taken, and answered with good humour, he afterwards made amends by his civilities. But if he saw any marks of resentment, from alarmed pride, vanity, or conceit, he dropped all further intercourse with the party. This will be illustrated by an anecdote of that sort related by Mrs. Pilkington. After supper, the Dean having decanted a bottle of wine, poured what remained into a glass, and seeing it was muddy, presented it to Mr. Pilkington to drink it. "For," said he, "I always keep some poor parson to drink the foul wine for me." Mr. Pilkington, entering into his humour, thanked him, and told him "he did not know the difference, but was glad to get a glass at any rate." "Why then," said the Dean, "you shan't, for I'll drink it myself. Why, take you, you are wiser than a paltry curate whom I asked to dine with me a few days ago; for upon my making the same speech to him, he said, he did not understand such usage, and so walked off without his dinner. By the same token, I told the gentleman who recommended him to me, that the fellow was a blockhead, and I had done with him."Sheridan's Life of Swift.

THE DEAN AND THE PILKINGTONS.

Mrs. Pilkington was one of the Dean's female coterie, and perhaps surpassed all the party in wit and genius not less than in levity. Her husband was a clergyman, and a needy author, from whom a separation took place by mutual consent.

Mrs. Pilkington's acquaintance with Swift commenced by her sending him verses on his birthday. She was afterwards introduced to him by a lady, whom he asked if she was her